wurl
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Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 151 | |
| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 12:16:28 PM | | yep. It would bother me too. But it's funny how the universe is connected. Some day someone will break her heart. Count on it. Karma. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 1:04:06 PM | | Think its pathetic when one sleeps with a married person...Think of the hurt the other half is experiencing. Thats about as low as someone can go...Have morals and respect...imo | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 1:30:11 PM |
Hunny, I am 21, and my profile says that.. i was 19 when i got with him yes... his daughter is 6 months old... and he is leaving in january.. not for me, not because of me, because he is no longer happy... i now live 4 hours from him, so we are over, but he is still my best friend.
I told my husband's girlfriend that I forgave her. And I had, long before that. He was leaving her, after five years, with a year-old daughter. She wept, and I hugged her. He and I were already divorced, and he had in fact married her. He married the next one, too. The current wife is very worried. I believe I would be, too. Can't think why. . . .
Hunny | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 1:37:18 PM | She probably just knows that there is no chance of commitment....its the same reason some men go for women with rings on...they know its a no strings attached deal! | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 3:23:11 PM | | Hey Dallas... what if someone stole your car because their baby was sick and needed to get to the hospital IMMEDIATELY and there was no other way? What if your loved one committed a crime and was shot by the police? What if my husband wasn't getting what he needed out of our relationship and made it clear what he was out and about doing? There are always circumstances not explained or made clear; what is going on in that marriage is not everyone's business and it isn't up to us to judge. Open your mind just a touch - the world isn't always black and white, right and wrong... that's all I'm trying to say. Judge not; those people have to look in the mirror and accept what they see, as do you. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 6:06:56 PM |
I told my husband's girlfriend that I forgave her. And I had, long before that. He was leaving her, after five years, with a year-old daughter. She wept, and I hugged her. He and I were already divorced, and he had in fact married her. He married the next one, too. The current wife is very worried. I believe I would be, too. Can't think why. . . .
I don't really understand this, i was never his girlfriend.. My son's father left when i was five and a half months pregnant because he didn't want another son. This "married" man that i have been speaking about was there for me when Carson's daddy walked out. Then after my son passed away my doctor ordered me not to be left alone... He volunteered to stay with me one day when my mom had to work, and that is how our friendship evolved. I never ask him to leave his wife, in fact other than the day that she found out about us sleeping together, i have had no contact with her. I do not in any way advise women to go out and seek a married man for any reason, but this just happened. I have been able to talk to him about stuff that most women would only be able to confide in other women about. He helped me in my training when i wanted to go to the police academy. So it wasn't all sex, like i said he was and is my best friend, and i am glad that he is finally standing up and leaving since he is so unhappy. Two years ago, he knew that i didn't want to "full time" relationship with him and that it would never happen...and he still knows this. It is probably not something that i would do agian, it just happened that way, and it was convienient that he lived in a different city (worked in the city that i lived in) so that made it easier. But regardless of what any woman says feelings do get involved, and dthat can make it harder, or she will want him to leave the wife.
Hunny, I didn't mean to sound b**chy in the last post, it just caught me off gaurd, like i said, i am not proud of sleeping with a married man. I have currently began to see the man that i was with when i wsa younger. we began talking aobut 6 months before i moved home, and have been seeing each other aobut 4-5 times a week for the last two weeks that i ahve been home (and he isn't married!!!  ) But I have grown up in the last two years and when we met i was a point in my life, i didn't want anyone, especially a man to come in the way of my career and dating married men at that time was right. But when i got my promotion, what i had been working towards for almost three years, it was no one there that could celebrate it with me. And that sucked.. so that was one thing that opened my eyes. I had my experiences with it, and until his wife found out, it really sucked that we couldn't go here becaues some one might see us, or we couldnt' do this because someone might see us. You can't have a "relationship" with a married man, you can only have friends with benefits and that gets old... quickly... trust me. In case I don't get to tlak to you before the holidays, have a wonderful Christmas... | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 10:18:59 PM |
Hey Dallas... what if someone stole your car because their baby was sick and needed to get to the hospital IMMEDIATELY and there was no other way?
Hey firewmn... I don't believe the "sick baby" scenario has much application here, unless you can find me some information about the life or health of the poor man/woman being in grave danger unless they IMMEDIATELY have sex behind their partner's back with a third party!
What if your loved one committed a crime and was shot by the police?
Again, not the same - I said what if your loved one was "murdered" - being shot by the police during commission of a felony crime isn't murder.
What if my husband wasn't getting what he needed out of our relationship and made it clear what he was out and about doing?
What's being discussed here primarily is men/women having sex outside the marriage WITHOUT knowledge or consent of the marriage partner. If you both agree to let the other have extramarital sex, then its not my cup of tea, but as consenting adults I won't try to judge (assuming the extramarital partner ALSO knows their sex partner is married.) But can you tell me under what set of "extenuating circumstances" you'd find it completely acceptable for your husband to sneak around behind your back and have sex outside the marriage bed WITHOUT your knowledge or consent? | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:56:09 AM | | I shall have nothing to do with a married man,i think its appalling when i hear about others sleeping with a married man or woman,when you marry you cherish your vows better or for worse,ive no interest what so ever in a married man,those whom sleep with a married person will get what is coming to them and eventually shall be caught,what goes around comes around,i also believe they should also be thinking of the children in this marriage also theses kids lives are going to be destroyed all because of intimacy,its just terrible to even think how a child will feel when he or she finds out their family has been destroyed | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 6:35:32 AM | | Maybe the reason why this girl tends to get with married ppl all the time is really b/c she considers it a challenge. Ya know, see if she can actually "get them"...a chase, a game.....??? | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 6:49:04 AM | ......if you wanna get away with something...NEVER TELL A WOMAN about it....that was her first mistake.....women are notoriously catty, judgemental, and vindictive......the fewer people that know your business the less likely you are to get caught......he knows who he is suppose to be going home to.....let her have some fun...she's not using "yours" to do him with. Yes, those who are not interested in commitment would tend to seek the unattainable. If it bothers you that much don't talk about it with her.....and remember ....karma is a B!1ch..
....they Do go home in the morning, and you don't have to deal with any of the baggage..... | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 7:01:46 AM | Maybe the reason why this girl tends to get with married ppl all the time is really b/c she considers it a challenge. Ya know, see if she can actually "get them"...a chase, a game.....???
there is something to this
a few months back a bunch of us were going out to a bar for a saterday night
one of the guys that was single puts on a wedding ring he has never been married
one of the married guys takes off his ring
care to guess witch guy went home with someone that night ..... the single guy with the ring on
ladys like the chase ..... | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 7:12:58 AM | "let her have some fun...she's not using "yours" to do him with..."
Well thats only a matter of time before she will probably go after her friends man too, obviously she has a "lack of respect" problem so what would stop her from doing that...I think the ppl that tend to think it is ok for single ppl to go after married ppl would probably be the ones that would do something like this. No morals.
To the person who started this thread, I would distance myself from this person. You are judged by the company you keep...and hearing about it all the time would make my stomach turn too. You can tell your a good person! Ditch the friend....she may end up biting you in the butt too someday. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 7:20:18 AM | | To purposely pursue a married man for your own personal gratification - thrill - or whatever is unforgivable!!! I would definitely say something - voice my opinion & certainly have no respect for that person. I would also remove them from my life!! Very uncool!!! If any woman ever touched my man everyone would know her name and her reputation - fast!!!!! | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 7:38:24 AM | | If a guy cheats it's not because he was pursued by a third party...it's because something is lacking in his relationship......if it wasn't her it would be someone else....funny how the women blame the other women, like I said he knows who he is suppose to be going home to...."lack morals" I disagree, maybe just don't possess your morals. To hold ourselves in high regard is great, but not at the expense of anyone who doesn't agree with us, it doesn't make them wrong-it makes them different.....if you are that paranoid about your man cheating, you likely have reason to be....... | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 8:19:09 AM | | Although I do agree that if a guy cheats, something is most likely lacking in his relationship at home, it doesn't justify it! I don't dismiss placing some blame on the woman he cheated with either, IF she KNEW he was married! The married person definitely should have stayed clear, however, with that said, the single person should respect herself enough to stay clear as well. It's a matter of principle and dignity....intregrity! Yes, some ppl have different values...yours are clear as are mine. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 9:53:39 AM | Rae Rae Im very sorry but I do not agree with what you are saying.It is both the man and woman fault.It is the fact that she knew the man was married and still presuing the man.That is wrong and it nothing right about that.It is both the man fault and the so called mistress.some of these women who like to chase after married men need to read the lyrics to the singer Monica song Sideline Ho that is just what the mistress are Sideline Hos.Obviously somebody has some self-esteem problems,because if she didnt she would not go after what is not hers.Also if you was a true woman you would not want to hurt another woman.Real women dont do that,trashy women do that type of stuff.I can understand if you did not know the man was married that is different,but alot of these women know that these men are married.what goes around comes around.That goes for both the mistress and the man doing the cheating on his wife. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:10:42 AM | sounds like you have a control issue. Does everyone in your circle have to do what you would do? Do you like the person as a friend? Then be her friend...if she is meeting married men, what business is it of yours???????
You'd be amazed at how fun life is if you just live your own (smile). Old 70s song: "he can't even run his own life, I'll be damned if he can run mine" | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:57:30 AM | cheat or cheat with..A no brainer, don't do it and be the better person for it! As for your friend? Really a friend.....you chose them and you can say goodbye to them..What about your right to believe in your ways and wants, do you need to keep friends that don't hold up to your standards, if you do you must live with it and the guilt that really does not belong on your shoulders. It is unfortunate that you do like her and she is your friend.. Tough or not so tough choice....What type of friend do you really want? I chose morally sound ones, but if their not I have to live with the consequences of MY CHOICE and so do YOU!!!! | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/19/2006 12:37:54 PM | Your friend is a A$$ as far as Im concerned...
here we are many of us talking about games. Cheaters, losers and whatnots...
Sure the husband is the ultimate goat in this... But... KNOWING he is married.. is equally responsible.
And yes there is alot of pain going to be created. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:34:47 PM | | There is a lure for a single women to be attracted to a married man. Some of it has to do with the fact you're after forbidden fruit which makes it daring and soo attractive. Another part is you really can't have it since he's not leaving his wife so the pursuit becomes the lure because it's never going to happen. We seem to crave what we can't have so that makes it even more addicting. It's hard to explain but I can tell from reading some of these post that it's more common than you might think. Is it a safety outlet because you don't need to see or live with the guy but you can get a moment of enjoyment? HMMMMM | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:49:47 PM | | I say get your own life and don't worry about what your friend is doing with her private affairs. Since your such the morality police...distance yourself. Real friends understand that all people are different and accept friends for their differences and don't judge. Judging your friend will cost you your friendship and married men will still have affairs with the millions of other woman that don't have your morality code. It's just life in the pond...you may not like it ....but you have to deal! Roll with it! | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:30:35 PM | Hmmm.. sex with a married man... I say there seems to be a different issue.. It takes two to tango or fvck for that matter.. a married man that has sex with her, will have sex with other women anyways.. so the cheating is irrelevant (even though it shouldn't be condoned).. Perhaps your friend isn't ready for committment, and feels that having sex with a married man leaves her the freedom she desires to do other things..(or other people).. You have to let her run her own life and make her own mistakes, and when she is ready to stop messing around she will settle for a decent, caring man, who will fullfill her and make her life complete.
JMO | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:38:50 PM | | We all make our own decissions, some people are more ethical then others.. you shouldn't impose your ethics on your friend and you shouldn't abandon her as a friend. But if you feel that what she is doing is wrong you need to be honest about it with her. Maybe just telling her that you feel what she is doing is wrong will be enough to change her mind. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 1/10/2007 2:24:24 AM |
She knows how I feel but yet continues with it and says she knows its wrong.
This is a sign of addiction. She knows it is wrong, and apparently doesn't want to do it. And yet she does it. That's addiction. She is compelled to do something that she consciously doesn't want to do. She needs help. She needs your help.
The help you can give her is to firmly let her know of your dissapproval of her behaviour. This may be enough moral solidity for her to grab on to. She may be able to use this to wake up and become present to the call of her own conscience. (Then possibly professional help.)
People often talk of "not judging people". Judging people is seen to be a great crime in today's society. "Toleration" is praised. However, I believe it is wrong to tolerate hurtful behaviour.
Judging people is an unavoidable part of practical life. Everyone must decide for themselves whether a particular action is right or wrong: this is judgement. How one expresses that judgement is a different matter. Holding firm to your own beliefs is certainly not "imposing" your beliefs on others, although many will try to guilt trip you into being "tolerant" and remaining silent.
Don't avoid holding firm to your own views simply because your friend may resent your persistence on the matter and wish you would crumble. Weak people unconsciously look for strong people to support them in the thing they are weak in. So be strong.
Your concern for all involved is commendable. All the best. | |
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