| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/12/2007 9:34:05 PM | I respect man who take good care of their children, as a Mother, I will die first before i give up my children, they are the love of my life. To those single dads, hang in there , in the future you will be rewarded, just make good bonding with your children. Good luck!!! lucilou   | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:34:22 AM | Wow. I am surprised of some of the stories I have been reading here. I am a Single Dad, but I have the majority of the Joint custody. "The Ex" moved out and moved in with her boss. I am divorced, but I would still like to get full custody. She is not a junkie, but her lifestyle is a little out there. She does drink allot.
Now that I'm divorced, is there really a chance to get full custody of the kids?
As far as dating, women...or most women I feel they run away. The vibe I get is baby momma drama and/or step mom. | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:06:09 AM | | Way to go, as a single dad who has raised my son from 3 till now at 16 I know all about the custody battles when despite the mother being becoming a dopefiend (reason marriage ended) I still almost lost the case because the judge was so biased against men (woman judge) I've never got child support but she has sent presents and the odd $50 dollars here and there. I know she loves him but the drugs made her unable to function even as a weekend mom, I always told my son he has a mother who loves him and when she has had some short periods of stability I encouraged supervised and unsupervided visitation. I don't feel I deserve a medal because women have been single parents forever and they are often condemned for it. It is hard though as a single dad explaining to your foreman that you need a day off to got to xmas pageant at school :) | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:07:48 AM | I say this I commend those men out there that is steping up to raise their kids like an father and not a man that just laid down with the female and got her pregant and left her to be both mother & father .. And that their now experience what us women go through as both ...
And remember it takes a real Man to be a father or mother ..
And it can take any man to make a baby ....
Any man can say that he's mother & father to the child
But the real Mother/ Father to the child is one takes and raise his/her child regardless of any situtation ...
It shouldn't take the "White Man/Woman in a Black Robe" to make a Father or Mother be what they are to those kids that they have .. Cause they were not ask to be produce ...  | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:11:05 AM | Nes007,
Please don't let anyone tell you that you don't stand an chance to get Full Custody of your child(ren) .. Cause you do .. All you have to do is prove what you feel may be in the best interest of your child (ren) regarding the living situtation of them living with the mother .. and her boyfriend whose her boss ..
GOOD LUCK | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/23/2007 12:08:48 PM | i would not applaud men specifically because they are men taking care of there children but solely because they are in fact taking care of them
that being said i am happy to see that distinction between men and women melting away and more men stepping up to plate because then the focus becomes more in the care of the child rather then whether or not its a mommy or daddy providing it
my kids' father isnt stepping up to plate yet i dont paint all fathers this way because he is male but instead i specifically blame him as a person
make sense?? | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:36:06 PM | Heres some numbers for single dads
Of 100% support payors about 32% are mothers about 68% are fathers
Of the 100% fathers that pay support about 62% pay support regularly and on time 10% more have fallen behind due to injury or illness
Of the 100% mothers that pay support 3% pay support regularly and ontime less than one percent have fallen behind due to illness or injury.
people can say all they like mothers have far too many excuses.
I haven't recieved a dime in the 10 years I've raised my girls. Their mother is a high school graduate with a college degree with no disabling injury's or illness's | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/23/2007 9:19:49 PM | I have 2 kids a girl and a boy. I have full custody and yes their mother hooked up with a guy that got her hooked on coke (not the drink.) Yes, she was cheating on me with him for about 6 months before I found out.
I took her to court and got custody because she refused a drug test. Can you believe she told the Judge if he gave her 2 weeks she could be clean. That was not the right thing to say.
I have been divorced now for almost 6 months and she only get supervised visits. She does not even come around anymore. Every once in a while she will call and I do let the kids talk to her. My kids seem happier now that she is not around as much. | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/23/2007 9:22:37 PM | | She is supposed to pay child support but refuses, She wont help out with their sports either but just the same we dont need an addict around kids | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/24/2007 7:18:50 AM | As of 2004, Florida led the nation in Dads being awarded custody, which is when I was awarded mine.
Their Mom moved to the panhandle close to Alabama with her 2nd husband, which is where they'll stay, I guess. She sees them once a month, due to the distance being a hardship on the kids (4 hour drive).
When it all started, I didn't expect anything but the norm of her having custody until I spoke with my attorney regarding her.........well, some bad decisions that were well documented, and not by me.
I set her child support at the bare minimum so she wouldn't have to live in the ghetto. | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/24/2007 9:25:10 AM | | It would have to be a Woman who didn't want her kids. She thought she was getting back at me and to hurt me--she walked. I tried to get her back--once--it wasn't working and now we've just passed 7 years along with a divorce within the first 18 months...It happens--but more than you think right now.. | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 9/24/2007 10:27:21 AM |
What I'm hearing all the men here say is how hard it is to raise children alone. Welcome to "our" world....women have been doing it for years!
I am sorry to say this but...... Being a single Mother is NOTHING compared to being a single Father
They are not even CLOSE to the same experience.
When you’re a single Mom the people out there accept you as you are. The schools have programs setup specifically for Single moms. The YWCA has activities, training, assistance, and other programs built to aid Single moms..........For single dads....."I am sorry these programs are for WOMEN only" "It would make the women enrolled feel too uncomfortable if a male was allowed to participate"
For a single Mother just the simple society perception alone is that of not thinking twice to see a single mom..........Yet the response for a single dad "where is the mother?"
You want to truly see a messed up system....You want to see just how silly and stupid these judges out there make themselves look... I have been fighting against these BACKWARDS AZZHOLES for 7 years now.... I refuse to bow down.
This is for all you EQUAL rights advocates out here.....
I have 2 children My ex wife has my little girl (till I can find the funds to fight for custody) I have my Son and have raised him since he was a baby.
She has managed to get a judge to award her $200. A WEEK child support for my daughter, yet they refuse to acknowledge the fact we also have a son. Which I am raising and done so since he was BORN.
Because he has never set foot in the state that she resides in and I refuse to grant them permission to decide his fate, they refuse to consider the fact he exists when deciding a child support amount since my thought is….. 2 kids she has one I have one that should cancel out any support. (Yep as stupid as it sounds because I will not allow them permission to decide his future they wont consider he even exists in the courts eyes)
SHE is the one that took my daughter left my son and jumped on a plane to fly away. The only place I knew where she was... was her parent’s house yet during a phone call trying to talk to my daughter I was informed that if I called their house again they would file harassment charges against me. (Yep harassment for wanting to talk to my baby girl) Then after threatening me she tells the judge I have not tried to contact my daughter.
Ok I am not going to go into all the details here (Unless you’re a lawyer in that case email me because I have exhausted any form of legal aid and cant afford the $10,000 any other lawyers want to even touch the case)
I stated this info to allow you to see just how EQUAL the rights are in this country
Look at my current situation. I have 2 children, I have my son and my ex wife has my daughter. My ex wife managed to get a child support order against me due to the fact she “LIED” and the courts never bothered to check her record or any police reports to validate her sworn statement prior to issuing the order.
If they had checked her police record they would have discovered SHE was the abuser and not me like she stated in order to manipulate the system (basically that judge failed to do his/or her job. That is considered a failure to perform their duties that they have been hired to do and grounds for dismissal from the bench, IMO at least)
There are women out there that I have confronted with the information regarding my situation and asked if they feel it is correct.
I have gotten answers like “well you’re the father so you should be required to pay more than your ex wife.” The odd part is after a few subject changes, and I ask the question of “Do you think a man should be paid more than a woman doing the same job.” Their answer has ALWAYS been NO WAY! They almost always will say that it is discrimination and get pissed off that I even mentioned that a man should be paid more than a woman should.
Now take a step back away from this scenario for a sec and see how silly it sounds. Most women would agree that they should be paid the same amount of money as a man doing the same job.
However, those same women also think that the man is responsible for more than half of the financial burdens incurred in raising a child simply because they are the male.
Don't believe this to be true? Well if a FATHER has a child support order against him and is working they garnish his paycheck by taking 65% of the GROSS earnings. So if the man gets behind on support yet works a 40 hr week earning a gross pay of $400. (Average construction job and or unskilled labor paycheck amount)
So basically they take $260 right out of his paycheck....that leaves him with $140 to live on but wait that’s not done he is still taxed on the $400 amount so that deducts about another $50-$75 depending on where he works at in this country. So that leaves him about $65. To live on after working his AZZ off all week long. (AND YALL WONDER WHY MEN OUT THERE WORK UNDER THE TABLE OR NOT AT ALL????????????)
That is by far the STUPIDEST system of government I have EVER seen. There is NO incentive what so ever for the male to bother working at ALL......So Just remember ladies the next time you don't receive a support check from your EX that YOU BUILT THIS SYSTEM THAT GOVERNS THEM......You choose to use the FEAR of going to jail as the form of motivation for the MEN to be in compliance.....
Those same women also feel the male should pay for a date, do the driving for the date, pay for the rings, pay for most things in a relationship.
So basically your saying that the man needs to pay more then the female yet they are not allowed to earn more money than the female.
Does that make any sense?
That makes NO sense at all to me. I have tried many times to figure out how that conclusion can be made that it is equal. There is NOTHING equal about it. If that is the way that the women in this country truly feel then the facts prove that it is equal IF the men out there are paid more money than a WOMAN doing the same job. Stop asking for the same pay if your not willing to accept the same responsibilities.
*SIGH* Sorry I have had that pent up frustration building for some time now and just needed to release it ….lol
I Didn’t mean to disrespect any single Mom’s or women in general with that statement I just wanted to make it known that THIS IS THE current system of government and ALSO it is the whole reason that YOU don’t receive any money for support.
If the current governing bodies are changed, and the current system is scraped as a failure, you would start to receive support payments again. MOST of the Fathers out there that are placed in jail for non-support or resort to drugs/alcohol to escape from reality will wake up and start to become active in their children’s life IF the system is COMPLETELY CHANGED.
I have noticed A LOT of Fathers are hiding from that system because it WILL ruin their lives. It has nothing at all to do with stepping up and being a MAN like some women have it in their mind as the problem. It is because if they live in compliance with the current governing rules then they are not granted a life to live. | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:37:40 PM | id like to reply to your question
why is it that women have a excuse like they dont want there kids cos there junkys or in mental hospital us men have a rough trot there is a lot of women like men that just dont want there kids i have brought up my kids and my step kids that my ex partner had before we had met she had no interest and only seen them as a financial gain so to all the men out there that are good single dads keep going keep smilling as we can do as good a job as anyone | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:42:11 PM | id like to add to this persons notes i have been a single dad for to many years lol
i have brought up my children and my step children where my partner had no interest to want them my oldest daughter now is 18 and yes it is rewarding there is a bond that will never be broken and trust me its worth every last minute but at the same time lets not take anything away from women that are single parents its hard work and i respect women so much more as it takes a special person to bring up kids on there own so to all single parents keep plodding and smilling  | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 1/9/2008 6:50:18 PM |
Of 100% support payors about 32% are mothers about 68% are fathers
Of the 100% fathers that pay support about 62% pay support regularly and on time 10% more have fallen behind due to injury or illness
Of the 100% mothers that pay support 3% pay support regularly and ontime less than one percent have fallen behind due to illness or injury.
Too bad these numbers are completely fictitious. Take a math class before quoting percentages, please. Oh, and where exactly did these "numbers" come from?
From the 1997 US census bureau (can be found here: http://www.census.gov/prod/2000pubs/p60-212.pdf):
CUSTODIAL MOTHERS
Total . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11,905
Awarded. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7,080
Due child support. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6,331
Average child support due . . . . . . $4,172
Average child support income
received . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $2,503
Received any child support . . . . . 4,335
Received full amount of
child support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,650
CUSTODIAL FATHERS
Total . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2,082
Awarded. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 796
Due child support. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 674
Average child support due . . . . . .$3,965
Average child support income
received . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1,856
Received any child support . . . . . 385
Received full amount of
child support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 213
So, out of 7080 dads with c/s orders, 37% of them paid ALL c/s due. (2650/7080 = 37%). About 61% of fathers with c/s orders sent in SOME child support (4335/7080). In total, about 2% paid nothing. (2650 + 4335)/7080
Now, mothers who were ordered to pay c/s: 27% of mothers with c/s orders paid ALL of their support (213/796). About 48% of mothers with c/s orders sent in SOME child support (385/796). In total, 25% paid nothing (213 + 385)/796
Yes, more women who were ordered to pay c/s skipped than men. It's not nearly the epidemic as "presented" by the bogus numbers from the quote at the top of the page. | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:01:58 PM | Ok I am single parent of 3 great kids twin 10 year old boys and a 3 year old girl. They are my life my ex loves them but on same token cannt handle caring for them speicaly there basic needs like feeding them giving them time when they need or wants attention she can only give them time when it suits her life a plans she has . Its makes it hard when my kids want to see her and she has plans like going out with her mother , playing bingo , or sleeping her 12 to 16 hours a day . One thing I would never do is hurt my kids they been thought enought she has called them 4 times in 6 months to talk to them she see's them every sat for a few hours when it fits her to plans .
It is hard for any single parents . I have to say its realy hard for a parent who is a father courts realy side with the mothers then the fathers . I havent seen one cent of cs in this time . Im almost to the point I will be moving into my parents house to live because paying for day care for my 3 year old cost 150 a week plus everything else drains the bank account when more goes out then in. Try to get help with the day care cost is nearly impossable welfare is based for women with kids not men .
But on the good note being a single parent has the plus side or atleast for me . I was the punsher the who did the corecting in the house with the kids as well as the one made the meals and cleaned the house . But now I get to do all the other thing that i missed out on like playing with them sharing all there time since there mother isn't in there life as much . They realy came out of there shell so to speak since the bad infulance is gone . They use to sit and watch tv or play video games all day now they help around the house go for runs go to boy scouts have friends over where before there mom just lay in bed and sleep all day till i got home and my little one has came so far in a short time its blows my mind since she goes to day care and now at home she doesnt just sit infront of tv all day long she talks moves around better i was taking her to the doctors before since she walk with a limp in her hip its gone now it was because she didnt move around enough. She is a daddy little girl to she is my shadow everywhere i go she goes .
From a single dad Chris | |
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| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:29:23 PM | When my son was 3 months old, my exwife and I broke up due to what I did to her older son at the time.
We moved out of our old city here in Ontario to go out to Halifax N S. That is where our son was born.
So when we moved back here to Ontario, we stayed at my fathers place til my stepson was not being nice.
But you can't help it that you have a son or daughter that is ADHD.
Now 3 years later, I have this stupid supervised visits with my son. My ex wife now supervises them which I hate cause I can't do nothing with my son.
My visits started at the CAS office back in 2004 and then it was changed to my ex's place and we meet at the mall cause she will not tell me where she lives. Because I stopped her from moving to Illinois. | |
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