| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/29/2006 9:49:42 PM | | First of all---> If a woman has been independent for some time, she dont need a father figure for her children. She will take care of any situations when it involves her kids and doesnt need a man to tag along. As for me I dont ever introduce my son to anyone,period. My son's well being was very important when he was under 18 yrs of age. Now he is in college and I no longer have to be there for him like i use to. | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/29/2006 9:53:31 PM | I can appreciate the honesty upfront. I don't think it is wierd for a guy to stipulate his preferences in what is desired by a potential dating partner. Some of us glad to see that having kids already is not the end of the line. It takes a pretty big guy to accept any children from other relationships and it would be welcomed in mine!! I am one of the rare ones who care Glad to see you do also!! | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:10:09 AM | | Hmm, I'd have to take the whole profile into account. If the man didn't have children of his own & I felt he was targeting single moms then that may raise a red flag for me. Sure it could be due to the fact that he can't have children and would gladly accept others to help raise. However, one really never knows now-a-days and I'd rather be safe than sorry. Providing the man has his own children then I may not be so sceptical. Personally I take more interest in men with children because we are more apt to be on the same page in life. If a man is open to both single moms and childless women I'd suggest he state that in his profile and he'd likely receive better results. | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:58:50 AM | | i think as long as you are honest from the out set..i d prefer to date a man who HAS got kids ..cos then he ll know the pitfalls...i e babysitters etc...but i think i would be a little worried if a 'Mum with Kids ' ad was placed..as previously mentioned..the word paedophile springs to mind...sorry..just bein honest!! | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:27:34 PM | BM: I fail to see how your post pertains to the OP at all. If you want to vent about your narrow, general view of single mothers I suggest you start your own thread. Btw, any single mother with a half a brain likely wouldn't want to date the likes of you, so don't frett, I suspect your safe from us single mothers.
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/30/2006 1:34:49 PM | Being a "singlemom" I do sometimes find it hard to date. Usually when the guy finds out my son is 13 it doesn't seem to bother them as much. I guess its because he's a teenager & they figure he's almost raised. As a single mom, I do feel discriminated against at times because a guy doesn't want to meet me because I have a kid. But I really don't let it bother me that much. With or without a kid, I am a Great Person & its his loss if he doesn't take a chance to get to know me. Some guys do want a readymade family and some don't. Rather I agree or not, it is their choice if they want a woman with or without kids.  | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/30/2006 1:57:38 PM | Wouldn't freak me out at all - I hate the questions at the beginning of many profiles "Do you want kids" - does that mean: do you want to have any, do you want the ones you already have, or do you want a lady that already has kids. Kind of ambiguous!
Brenda | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:58:27 PM | Derek, just a little as it should read, "Single moms more than welcomed to respond" or just say "...encouraged to respond." The kids have thwarted many relationships, but I would have chosen them over the guy anyway! It just means the men want all the attention, all the time, just like the kids do. My kids are worth every minute I give them and as they get older, they gravitate to their friends anyway. I feel great about being there for them whenever they need me. They would like me to have a relationship and are very supportive now (ages 10 and 11). Kids are our best gift to society if raised properly and the time is spent with them.   | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:57:58 PM | | I agree with FOR OPENERS. As a sinlgle mom myself, I believe single mom's have their priorities straight and are not looking for someone to take care of them, just would like some companionship and some adult conversation. Yes we are mom's 24/7, but we are women too and would like to spend a night out as one and be treated as one. If more men would just take that chance to get to know us, I guarantee they are missing out on a good thing. RIGHT LADIES?? | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/30/2006 9:00:35 PM | I agree..it would be nice for there to be a section that identifies that they do not want children of their own nor are they interested in seeking a relationship with anyone who has children...
I myself, have ran accross a reverse issue, where I already have children and the other individual wanted children of their own, however, I no longer can have children..
Everything else seemed to click, however, our future outlooks in life were going different directions...So I think it should also have something more specific about them wanting kids of their own (I probably should have read between the lines, but it is not to often that prince charming arrives on his white horse and then ends up riding away again)...
I also would never introduce anyone I date to my children unless the relationship becomes very serious..I dont think it would be fair to my children | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:45:34 PM | To Blackmando....
Well, after reading your opening it made me mad. Then I kept reading as you stated and only got more angry! First of all, I (as a single mom) do not consider my daughter a mistake. If I were to call anyone a mistake, it would be her father, but without that jerk, I wouldn't have the best part of my life.
As for your statement that you will never be first if you are with a single mother is inaccurate. Just as with couples that have a child or children, there are balances and priorities, all of which can change at any given moment. My daughter is my life, however, I would expect that whomever I eventually marry will become just as important in my life as my daughter.
You couldn't handle most single mothers I know, including myself. It is guys like you that make me want to stay single! As for the just plain stupid comment, I think that is the pot calling the kettle black! Your whole post reveals you would be a bad investment for any woman, mother or not....sorry, but the truth hurts.
For the original question of this forum, it wouldn't necessarily scare me off if I that someone is looking for single moms, but it has to be put into perspective with everything else about you. That alone may not put up a red flag, however, the rest of who and what you are may do it. Best thing is to be honest about where you stand about family...yours and the person you are looking to be with. Good luck! | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 38 | |
| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/31/2006 3:35:17 AM | Blackmando,
Kiss your own a*** somewhere else!.........and learn how to read a full paragraph! You really sound like a jerkoff!  | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/31/2006 11:50:45 AM | from how society is today, it ould come accross as a bit creepy.
Some single mums may think. why welcome single mums, what is his interest in my children???
I have 3 kids, and i the way i see it, I am on here for friends, not to find a partner, or some1 to play dad to my kids.
I also think that guys who dont want a single mum should gow up and see sense, after all many NOT ALL of them have kids with previous partners. | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/31/2006 4:41:37 PM | it wouldn't weird ME out, but i think the word "pedophile" would pop into some peoples heads.
i'm just saying, with all of the shit in the media, people tend to think that way.
Exactly. I don't think I would put that in my profile if I were you!
If a single mother is interested in you, all she had to do is mail you and let you know she has a child, to find out if that is a problem for you.
In my profile, I answered yes that I have a child. But I added no other information, like photos or my child's sex or age. That, simply because I don't want to attract a pedofile.
It's a very real concern! | |
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|2ah
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Joined: 12/5/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 12/31/2006 5:05:55 PM | | No that would not freak me out at all. That would say to me that you are willing to accept my child as part of my life and know that s/he will always come first. Some guys just don't get that. | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 1/1/2007 8:11:47 AM | I'm completely upfront about having kids and let men know immediately that they are my number 1 priority. So if a guy is looking for someone is available to them 24/7 they need to keep looking.
This is precisely why most guys don't get involved with single moms. It's a no brainer ladies. I don't know anybody that wants to play second fiddle in a relationship. In essence, guys that do get involved with single moms become nothing more than a convenience. Sorry, not for me.
Children are extremely vulnerable and important. They need your undivided attention 24/7. If you've taken on this resposibility then I don't think you should be dating till your kids are grown and you can give a man the attention he deserves.
Don't get me wrong, I've seen these relationships work, but only when both parties were single parents to begin with. This may be the only exception to the rule. | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 1/1/2007 8:24:43 AM |
My question is......... would it weird you out to see "single moms more then welcome to respond" in a guy's ad??
It wouldnt weird me out. Id probably wonder why we are put into a separate group when one would put an ad out. Afterall, Im a woman too. Not just a mother.
Men dont meet my daughter until I feel it is going somewhere. Although I am very upfront if I meet someone, letting them know I have a child. But since I tend to date single fathers, this is never an issue. | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 1/1/2007 8:29:12 AM | This is precisely why most guys don't get involved with single moms. It's a no brainer ladies. I don't know anybody that wants to play second fiddle in a relationship. In essence, guys that do get involved with single moms become nothing more than a convenience. Sorry, not for me.
Melody,
I see where you are going with the priority thing. Obviously its a no brainer. That statement gets thrown out by single fathers as well. However, I would not be led to believe that THAT is why men dont get involved with single mothers. It sounds like the statement you made about being convient and second fiddle stems from an insecurity problem where you always have to be #1. ???????
A man or woman in a relationship I dont think could ever really be that #1 could they? You have family, parents, children, etc. Just because they have children does not mean you will be pushed aside and only dealt with when its convienent. I would never expect to be #1 when dating another single father. But it doesnt bother me because I am confident and at ease with myself and dont expect it I guess. | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 1/1/2007 8:30:52 AM | Only one thing to say regarding Blackmando's comment..and it's BLACK MAN DUH!....(Not a prejudice thing..just thought it fit). Stop stereotyping the single moms. But i will agree with you in your thought that sometimes men want to be the first to have children with the person they fall in love with. I can understand that.
I'm curious...are YOU (Blackmando)...a father of a few out there??..since we're stereotyping here??? | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 1/1/2007 8:40:30 AM | Lol, I assure you, I am anything but insecure my dear! I am simply stating facts that most women or single dads for that matter don't want to hear or accept. Which is fine by me because I don't and won't date single moms ;)
Nothing to do with being number one hun, stop trying to read between the lines and please don't assume.
Anyways, Happy New Year to everyone! | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:05:20 AM | Which is fine by me because I don't and won't date single moms ;)
Why are you on a single parents forum if you are so adamant about not dating one? I seriously dont get it. There are so many of you (childless) individuals that come here and then start whinning and complaining of all the con's of dating a single parent. Ok fine, we get that. Now move on to a forum that suits YOU. Dont waste YOUR time debating about dating singleparenthood. Cause guess what? We dont give a ........ ;o)
Thats like me trolling the Canadian rooms, but saying I wouldnt date one because I wont travel and start a long distance relationship.
I dont assume anything. I respond to what you put out there. I shall reply to that.
I understand if you want to come on here to voice your POV. But really? Who cares? If you dont want to date em, fine. We all have our preferences. I prefer to date single fathers. They are a bit more patient and understanding. | |
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:15:52 AM | Why are you on a single parents forum if you are so adamant about not dating one? I seriously dont get it. There are so many of you (childless) individuals that come here and then start whinning and complaining of all the con's of dating a single parent. Ok fine, we get that. Now move on to a forum that suits YOU. Dont waste YOUR time debating about dating singleparenthood. Cause guess what? We dont give a ........ ;o)
Thats like me trolling the Canadian rooms, but saying I wouldnt date one because I wont travel and start a long distance relationship.
I dont assume anything. I respond to what you put out there. I shall reply to that.
I understand if you want to come on here to voice your POV. But really? Who cares? If you dont want to date em, fine. We all have our preferences. I prefer to date single fathers. They are a bit more patient and understanding.
I browse the forums and post my thoughts to subjects that grab my interest. So why are you arguing with me ..... hmmmmm??????
You starting to sound like a very bitter person?
And for your info, any member can post his/her thoughts in forum they want. You don't own this forum! If you don't like a post, well....skip over it ..... :)
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:17:03 AM |
and sometimes i would like to beat the living hell out of their kids, but their not mine.
1. I suggest you seek some help for that deep seeded anger you have.
2. Again, like I stated to another poster, ya dont want to date us, then what is your purpose for being on a single parents forum?
3. It seems you have been scarred and scorned from dating one. Once you can get over your bitterness, maybe that sun will shine bright for you there sunshine.
4. Mentally damaged? Seems you are the one who has been mentally damaged.
5. Get over your ignorance foo' (couldnt help that. You were laying down the stereotypes, thought I would too)
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| Question for single moms...........
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:20:09 AM |
I browse the forums and post my thoughts to subjects that grab my interest. So why are you arguing with me and calling me names ..... hmmmmm??????
Thats what I thought your response would be. HAHA. I think that deep down, there is another reason for you being here. Dating one that scorned you in the past. Or a bad outcome from dating one. Therefore, you feel you must come in here and cast judgement.
Arguing? Hmm. I thought we were debating and sharing views? Correct me if I am wrong. Perhaps you see it as arguing.
Where did I call you names?? (scratches head) | |
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