| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/27/2005 5:36:51 PM | Oh please, there's a big difference between fat and skinny. This isn't about looks it's about pride and self respect. God didn't make fat people He gave them free will.
And that is the truth..he did give free will and to sum it up for ya....your missin the point....why dont you go and make a thread yourself as the dictator...counselor and see what ya come up with when it comes to people...and feelings....and life in general....There are many variables...to the situation...like medical reasons for one...mine was simply depression becasue I lost my brother....2 years ago...but people like you...dont see past your own eyes (Smiles) | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/27/2005 5:40:41 PM | You rock!!!
Us people who have heart...and experience...had flava to this world....
Criss | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/27/2005 5:45:03 PM | | Thats an unfortunate...situation...however I could not and would not bear my children's financial responsiblity on my partner..I respect a man that is hard working and he needs to be treated as such...Some ladies take to much for granted...and then ...they cry and beg for the guys return..back into the same habits and responsiblities and still with no respect or appreciation....That is when the man...leaves for good and falls right into the hand ..of a good woman....Like myself....(Smiles) | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/28/2005 6:38:30 AM | | JucesSweet, do you have some kind of ownership over this thread that I am not aware of? | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/28/2005 1:32:29 PM | | Nah no ownership...just dont really wanna read sh*tthat draggs people down..you know what I mean...if your a negative person...go somewhere else to look..It's simple...Never thought for a minute I was owning a thread....Now THAT my dear is just a Juvenile ...question...you know what your doing in here...common.... | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/28/2005 1:34:01 PM | Thanks girl...Saritamiami....
Guess maybe she's bored or something...but it's all good...
Criss | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/28/2005 3:24:41 PM | Criss, YOU ROCK!! I have 3 little ones and am making waves by going back to school as well. In the end I will have a PhD. It's very inspiring to know that there are others who are trying to get ahead of the stereotype of a single mom. I am also trying to live a productive, positive life for myself and my children who have gotten me through so much. I'd like to email ya but I can't because I'm not a dude ;-) please feel free to email me if you'd like.
Only1Skylar, Nobody wants to get into a pissing contest with you, so please don't start one. It's easy for you to say things like that when you are a typical blonde skinny chick with big...umm, features, who thinks everyone wants to look like you. Newsflash, we don't. We are happy being who we are, and actually for myself, I'd have to say I'm happier being a few pounds over what society deems as "sexy". It saves me a lot of energy from weeding out those who are not attracted to any other part of me than just my looks. I was a 'skinny' blonde before, and even though blondes do have more 'fun' I also had a lot more heartaches. I STILL get noticed, and it's not because I have 'the look', it's because I am more confident about who I am, and take pride in my accomplishments, not just in my looks. 
Tangoperu, Not everything is meant to be a debate here. You do make some good points even though I totally disagree with most of them. Yes, looks are part of the equation, a large part indeed. That doesn't automatically mean 'skinny' though. You are an intelligent person so you must be aware that beauty is in the eye of the beholder...are you not? Beauty is as INDIVIDUAL as we all are. Having kids is NEVER a handicap, exept to someone like you, and to 'make up for it' we have to be what you think "hot" is? Well what about the guys who like a little extra weight on a girl (yes they DO exist) If I was a super-skinny girl, should I then gain weight so that I am more appealing to this portion of men? I don't think so. I should be open to guys who are comfortable with me the way I am comfortable with myself. You could try using a touch of tact when making your "suggestions".
Anyway, just had to get that out...
Cheers!  | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/29/2005 9:54:52 AM | You know what koolgurl23,
thanks for that piece of info...and beleive me there is more to Plentyoffish then just being on here to met a guy...There is nothing wrong with us gettin to know each and sharing some of our own stories as friends...Thats what its all about..meetin NEW peopl and esp. ones that are down to what your feeling. and how your outlook is on different issues including this very touchy one. lol
Iron sharpens iron.....Learn by others....
Stay strong and good luck with school....thats's awesome..Congradulations...
I myself MAYBE considering pursuein a PHd. in Psy. But we'll wait on that for a bit...gotta finish this first lol....
Get back to me K
We'll chat up a storm
Criss | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/29/2005 2:16:30 PM | | well you know what is really making me mad some of you are ragging on her over weight and other issues well tough no one said you had to like her but she needs our support not us being an ass learn to love someone for who they are not what they are if your looking for a skinny drama queen then look there dont put others down because you want to be an ass you keep up the good work girl and dont worry in time that right one will be there and dont listen to the bad stuff just change yourself because you want to and only change what you feel might be wrong not what others think is wrong there just looking for a model and thats there****talking not them im sure so good luck in your search | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/31/2005 6:41:46 PM |
The message you are replying to:
Posted By: tangoperu on 06-09-2004 06:43 PM
Subject: Single lonely mom 4 kids
Message: Hey, hold your horses, lady.
First of all: Yes, she's superwoman. She's supermom. BUT she's not supergirlfriend. If she were so, where are the legions of men who are accepting (with acc, not with exc) her? Sorry, I don't see them. And guess what? She doesn't, either. Have you thought that perhaps right now (and I emphasize, "right now") she is not worth the time of those guys?
You list things like going to school, working, etc. as desirable traits. You are deluded into thinking that we men care about a woman's career, social standing or income. Well dear: We don't. We care about her appearance, her sense of humor, her sexiness, her caregiving qualities. Career and income are not high in our desired qualities list. She asked for advice. Well, my advice is: Cultivate those qualities that are high in a man's list. Appearance is one of them. So sue me.
You think that I don't like her because she's fat (Not BBW, not big, that's PC bullshit. The correct word is FAT). Well, you're wrong. I don't like her because she has a long list of qualities she wants in a guy, but she's not eager to work in order to improve her chances of meeting that guy. And if she were to find him, she won't work into improving her chances of keeping him. And she has the gall to call guys who are not up to her standards "leftovers".
If you care to read her post, she's NOT being asked out every weekend. What does it mean? It means that her "accept me as I am" approach is not working. Einstein said: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". Well, perhaps a change in tactics is in order for her.
Finally: Is having children bad? Not at all. Is having children a handicap in the dating world? If it weren't so, why does this forum "Single Parents" exist in the first place? "Bad" and "handicap" are not sinonymous at all.
Without paying attention to who this is directed at I always enjoy hearing the simple truth.
Thank you.
Now if they're any ladies who want to support my daughter and I, we're waiting!!! | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/31/2005 6:42:09 PM |
The message you are replying to:
Posted By: tangoperu on 06-09-2004 06:43 PM
Subject: Single lonely mom 4 kids
Message: Hey, hold your horses, lady.
First of all: Yes, she's superwoman. She's supermom. BUT she's not supergirlfriend. If she were so, where are the legions of men who are accepting (with acc, not with exc) her? Sorry, I don't see them. And guess what? She doesn't, either. Have you thought that perhaps right now (and I emphasize, "right now") she is not worth the time of those guys?
You list things like going to school, working, etc. as desirable traits. You are deluded into thinking that we men care about a woman's career, social standing or income. Well dear: We don't. We care about her appearance, her sense of humor, her sexiness, her caregiving qualities. Career and income are not high in our desired qualities list. She asked for advice. Well, my advice is: Cultivate those qualities that are high in a man's list. Appearance is one of them. So sue me.
You think that I don't like her because she's fat (Not BBW, not big, that's PC bullshit. The correct word is FAT). Well, you're wrong. I don't like her because she has a long list of qualities she wants in a guy, but she's not eager to work in order to improve her chances of meeting that guy. And if she were to find him, she won't work into improving her chances of keeping him. And she has the gall to call guys who are not up to her standards "leftovers".
If you care to read her post, she's NOT being asked out every weekend. What does it mean? It means that her "accept me as I am" approach is not working. Einstein said: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". Well, perhaps a change in tactics is in order for her.
Finally: Is having children bad? Not at all. Is having children a handicap in the dating world? If it weren't so, why does this forum "Single Parents" exist in the first place? "Bad" and "handicap" are not sinonymous at all. .
Without paying attention to who this is directed at I always enjoy hearing the simple truth.
Thank you.
Now if they're any ladies who want to support my daughter and I, we're waiting!!! | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 4/1/2005 7:02:56 PM | You know what Tango
Let me tell you this...No matter what you say...What I said is the tuth...your one of many men..who think like this and frankly...YOUR SWALLOW..Sorry to say hun...
But hey ..keep posting the "truth" Compared to your standards..
And buddy I dont see no pic...
So your someone who is looking for attention ...lol
Even if it is NEGATIVE ATTENTION
AWWWW YOu'll find someone...Someday..Dont...Fret... | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 4/8/2005 6:06:34 AM | Criss, if I understand what you correctly, you said you were looking for an unselfish guy, who didn't want sex. Putting myself in the mind of the guys who routinely just keep on going when they find out you have 4 kids already in the house, I'd like to ask you:
1) Why don't you think a guy should be selfish about looking out for his own interests?
2) If a guy already has friends, especially if he has all he has time for, and ones that can go do things with him (go rock climbing over the weekend on an hour's notice, say), why would he want to reduce the time he spends with them to be with someone whose only difference in what they can offer him is the perpetual serious hassle factor of having a bunch of kids in the house?
3) If a guy wouldn't want to have 4 kids of his own (and few do these days), what do you think the odds would be that he would want 4 kids of someone else's?
The way I figure it, the bulk of the guys who want that many kids will generally already have them by a fairly young age, practically always before 40. I'm something of an exception, in that I am currently childless, but wish to remarry and have 2-3 children. I'm not an exception, however, in that I have no interest in adopting children of any age; they're mine biologically, or I won't share a roof with them (not counting when my or my next wife's nieces/nephews visit, friends of our kids sleep over, etc.).
There's a deep biological instinct at work here, that can't be denied, legislated away, or guilt-tripped out of people, whether men or women. People that would rather dedicate their lives to caring for other people's children, rather than producing and caring for their own biological offspring, will be selected out of the gene pool to some extent every generation. It's an evolutionary things, similiar to men generally finding younger women (18 - 28, say) the most attractive; they are far more likely to be fertile than 40-YO+ women. Men that always preferred older women in general even when young themselves would be selected out in every generation.
Is it absolutely out of the question to reconcile with the children's father? He's the one guy on Earth that would likely be least bothered by their presence, all else being remotely equal... | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 4/8/2005 6:46:39 AM | Hear, hear! I'm not against dating any woman with kids. But if they had a father, I wouldn't be looking to take his place nor would I expect the woman to want me to. I would be there as support for the kids, as any other relative may be. My take would be that she would have 4 kids that she would need to pay attention to and that I shouldn't expect her to spend time with me 24/7. But I don't really have that expectation now with anyone I date, regardless of how many kids she has. I'm cool with establishing "me" or "kid" time.
If I were to get serious with this person, I would probably set a plan in motion to have 5 more children within 1 year apart of eachother. This way, I could have my own baseball team to manage within 5 years. We would take on all the other neighborhood teams and kick ass. I'd probably have to recruit the neigbor kid for relief pitching, maybe a few cousins to bolster the roster... but that's acceptable.
Yeah... that's my dream... | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 4/8/2005 6:51:18 AM |
Oh please, there's a big difference between fat and skinny. This isn't about looks it's about pride and self respect. God didn't make fat people He gave them free will.
Ya know, I think God really looks like Richard Simmons and he gets all sad when people abuse the whole "free will" thing and let themselves go. God didn't put oreos on trees, or twinkies in the soil for a reason. Think about it... and while you are, I'm gonna go make me a sandwich. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 4/9/2005 10:26:43 AM | You guys rock!!!
COuldnt have said it better...
But anyway...
Heres to ya...
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 4/9/2005 10:26:48 AM | You guys rock!!!
COuldnt have said it better...
But anyway...
Heres to ya...
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 4/10/2005 2:17:37 AM | I'm a single mother of 4 and have not had a problem in dating! I have 4 awesome kids of all age ages....15, 10, 5, and 2 and they are the best thing that could have ever happened to me! If a man can't accept you for your kids then they aren't worth your time Sweetie!  | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 4/12/2005 6:36:13 AM | Criss, here's an easy way to get clarity on your situation. Imagine your likely response if an interesting, attractive guy you were talking to let on that he was a single parent with eight children at home. How much would he have to have going for him for you to continue being interested in possibly dating him? He has four more kids than you do, with all that entails.
Well, when childless unattached guys talk to you, and find out you have four children, they are also considering someone who has four more children than they do. Put yourself in their shoes; how much would you think you would have to have going for you for them to rationally pick being with you over women with no children? Just being a decent cook, having a good sense of humor, or a nice body that you're willing to share isn't going to do it IMO; there are millions of unattached childless women with one or more of those attributes.
Anyway, past late twenties, most guys start wanting more from a woman than her having a trapeze mounted on the ceiling above her bed. Think of it as salesmanship; how can you convince a worthwhile guy that you are as a package a good deal?
I'd advise looking for guys with custody of multiple children who don't earn significantly more than you do; that way, everyone's negatives cancel out.
Good luck; I expect you'll need it. | |
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big smiles at ya.... from Seattle
