| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/6/2005 11:11:03 AM | | As for Sammys mom's comment on high-maintenance Barbie dolls, honestly that is the type I avoid the most now. I was living with one, actually engaged, and in addition to her less than stellar treatment of my kids (not physically abusive but not too nice either), I found out that she was cheating on me left and right with just about anyone she could find. SO...while I had thought she had a good heart and was attracted to that as well as her looks, I learned my lesson -- maybe that's what it will take for some of these other guys who are making rude comments. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/7/2005 3:21:52 PM | | Well girl I feel a little sympothoy for u however I have 5 kids 4 boys and 1 daughter. Yess all from the same mother. We are Devorced now and I still see my kids every day. I had to move from So. Cal to Central Cal. 5 hrs north and a cut in pay by $5,000.00 a month but you do whatever you have to for your kids. My children will never be w/out me in their life. I love them toooooooo much not to mention they r my responsibility as their father. My x and I still talk but business only. What I can tell u fron experience is that just stop trying to find some one that will accept your kids and find some one that accepts you for who you r. If that person falls for you than they will fall fo0r your kids | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/25/2006 7:45:40 PM | Just wondering how you can be Lonely when you have 4 kids. Your best bet is to put all your energy into raising them to be good people and forget about wasting it on trying to find a man. If a man is to be in the picture, it will happen and he will accept you for you and all that comes with you. No exceptions! Take care of those kids! Believe me the time will go quickly and before you know it.... You will be Alone..Then you will have plenty of time to spend your energy serching for a man.. And never settle for just anybody... You are worth more than that.  | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/25/2006 8:37:53 PM | I would like to tell you that i have five children and am single. I have earned my degree in early childhood development. I went to school full time and worked full time. I just graduated in May.
I agree with alot that you have to say and a lot of what other people say here. I know exactly how you feel. It's hard going to sleep each night alone. After all the kids are sleeping your alone and you have sooo much on your mind, that it takes awhile before you fall asleep. I have been in the bad relationships, but i have not given up on finding a good, descent native man out there. I know that eventually i will find one and be happy and be able to look in his eyes and just know he's the one. I am such a romantic at heart.
I believe also that it is about attitude. Sometimes we give off this attitude of being unapproachable. I do this all the time. But the point is as long as you see what your doing and try to be open to people then you will be approachable.
I wish you all the luck in the world. I found this site just today and i am very glad that i did. If you ever need to talk email me. Good luck. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/26/2006 9:29:26 AM | | Whats up with telling her to loose some "poundage" does it mean if she was thinner she would be happier? I think that was a rude comment. People are too damn shallow to see beyond a persons outer-self. And yes, I am a little on the chuncky side, and I have no problem with dating, and I bet she does not either. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/26/2006 1:24:08 PM | I think it meant that if she were thinner, more guys would find her attractive.
And calling somebody else "shallow" because he/she doesn't think as you is as rude as calling somebody else "fat" because you don't like his/her appearance. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/26/2006 8:26:56 PM | criss
You tell em gurl lol im sorry you feel so lonely and it doesnt matter if you have 4kids or even 1kid you'r still be LONELY because a kid or a baby can/does NOT fill that place inside of you that is empty and lonely a kid/baby can ONLY do so much and they shouldn't be expected to fill the place of lonelyness from not haveing a man/guy in your life, we all need someone besides our kids in our lives i know i'll get my ass chewed for this one aswell but i understand how you feel gurl. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 2:37:00 PM | Okay......
I spent the time reading through the posts, so here it is....
Everyone don't kid yourself or eachother by not aknowledging
the bitter truth. When shopping, at the park, school, a dance
club or any place you choose the first thing that attracts a person
at first glance is "looks". Let's all be honest here....it's your personality
that will keep'em but your looks that will stop'em. Yes this is the honest
to goodness truth and the posts about being "fat" were harsh and could
of been said "nicer" but he was being honest even as rude as it was.
I'm not critizing you, I have my own @ss to whip in shape LMAO! I am
saying that he did have a point and it's ashame it all got blown out of
control. It is a fact that you have 4 kids and your a student, and you
hold such high expections on someone you would date ie. no baggage
Now it doesn't sound at all fair, does it? And I think it is clear to say
there are some hot@ss barbie gals out there and if that is bothering you
do something about it! You control how you feel and a women who exudes
confidence is attractive. So be happy, be proud and get out there if that's
what you want and go get it. No one said it would be easy, heck your raising
4 kidlets so you know all about it, brush it off because the bitter truth is you
do have 4 kids and that will scare alot of guys, but alot of other guys it won't.
GPH | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 4:50:03 PM | this has had alot of responses... i'd say this to the OP. until you have looked at every mans profile and read them all. you cannot say men run when you have 4 kids.
i am 52 and have no problem with any woman having any number of kids living at home. i know i cannot be the only man who feels this same way.
good luck in your search and this thread. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 5:27:24 PM | okiedokietxxx
I agree on that because there are alot of men/women who do NOT run from someone who has kid's and its NOT always the fact we have kids/baby it could be that him/her is just not ready to be in something so serious and thinks about, the kid's first and what if him N their mom dont work out and the baby/kid gets attached to him/her KNOWING things arent "promised". | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 5:37:59 PM | I can't understand all the fuss in the first pages, either.
It basically goes like this:
She said: I am a fat single mom of 4 children. I want a perfect man, not leftovers.
He said: If you want a perfect man, work for it.
Everybody else: How you dare to say she should work to get a perfect man. Burn the blaspheme!
Incredible. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 5:48:01 PM | simbadsailor
We all must work for something we want and maybe even change a little bit to be with somebody or get what we want but NOBODY is perfect lol NOT even the women/men on the fourms/site but we all, made mistakes and we learn from our mistakes but that does not give us the right to JUDGE other's.  | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 5:59:25 PM | ^^^^^^judge^^^^^^^
when a person posts a thread they then allow others to
voice their opinions and also to be judged. We all post in threads
and if we give it out we should be able to take it. If a person can't,
maybe posting on a forum isn't for them. Everyone is different, yes...
everyone makes mistakes, heck yes.....when a person posts a thread
they are aking for opinions from others and I've noticed that when the
OP doesn't agree or feels insulted all he11 breaks loose. I've had my
@ss chewed out several times, but I also admit to learning a few things
from them even if it's hard to swallow. No one will agree with everyone
but hearing from all sides is always an eye opener so be open minded,
if you don't agree, don't keel over but don't put out what you can't suck up.
GPH | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 6:02:09 PM | great purple hairstreak
I was not being rude when i posted that i was just replying and i do agree with you whatever a person postes and people leave rude comments on the situration they should not be to quick to go off on someone in anger, just try to look at it from the other poster's point of view aswell. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 6:02:29 PM | You know, I have a problem with that "nobody is perfect, so you have no right to judge".
Imagine a defendant saying to a judge: "you are not perfect, so you shouldn't judge me". NOBODY is perfect. Does it mean nobody will be ever judged? I don't think so.
A society has values, and people of that society is judged according to those values. Who does the judging? The members of that society. Does it matter if those members are not perfect? Does it makes them unfit to judge such behavior as wrong? No.
Do we have the right to judge others? In a word, and I know you will disagree, YES, WE HAVE. What we don't have is the right to PUNISH others. We transferred such right to the law-enforcement bodies of a society. But we have the right to think that somebody's actions are wrong. And we have the right to avoid such person because of it.
We make judgements every day, every minute. We judge, and are judged. That's why we live with rules. That's why we use clothes. That's why we are able to live as a civilization. Because if we do not abide to the standards of a society, we are judged, and if our transgression is serious enough, we are punished.
In this thread, however, the OP was not judged because of her past mistakes, nor because she was fat. She was judged because she wanted something and was not willing to work for it. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:22:31 PM | simbadsailor, and how do you know anyone has judged anyone here. i don't think you can read what someone says and know if they are judging or it is just an opinion.
as i read all you wrote i can either think you are stating an opinion or i could think you were judging.
in either case who cares what you think or say as far as that goes. (now did i just judge you or only stated my opinion) you be the judge... lmao | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:28:34 PM | I agree lmao... and that just dont go for simbadsailor because i know some women get like this aswell as men Maybe some should put beside their post (IN A RUDE VOICE)....WHO KNOWS....    | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:46:56 PM | What's an opinion but a judgement? Perhaps a low-level one, but a judgement nonetheless?
How do I know about judgement? Well, I read this whole thread, that's how I know it. Keywords: "leftover", "ignorant", "shallow", "***hole", etc. Enough judgemental words for you?
About the "who cares" part... well, who cares if somebody cares what I think or say? | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/30/2006 10:48:36 AM | | I can very much sympathize being a single mum of 4 ,with me as am sure as with yourself,all the kids come first! Although there are times that I need some "me" time. I work full time and have been married and divorced twice! I have 4 daughters by 3 different dads,and no I have NOT had child support monies from any of them! infact if they did pay me what was outsatnding it would amount to £39,000.00! In my case as complex and hetic as it sounds I am quite happy with the choices that I have made with the balance of doing what is right aswell as doing what is best for all involved! An ongoing mamoth task! I am not here to find true love and romance I just want to make friends and chat as I dont go out much socially that way I can be with my children as often as I can and as they need me! My daughters will grow up and need me less and eventually leave home, 2 of my dughters have already left home into secure relationships. Patients, love and understanding goes a long way for a contented and happy life. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:26:51 PM | If you date a woman with four kids, thats going to be a significant cost to a guy. If he decides to commit with her and live with her or even marry her, its going to be an even bigger cost to the guy.
Heres the reality, most men consider whether, even if they love the woman, they can adequately provide for any children/preexisting children in a relationship. The cost to raise a child to 18 ( and the costs don't stop there) is something like 200K-250K. So essentially, you are asking a man to be involved and share in the cost of raising children that could come close to a million bucks.
He lives with you long enough, he could be held legally liable for the financial support of those children even though he is not the biological father. Its in the papers very often, men are being sued for child support and its being awarded simply because the man is the 'only father the child has every really known'
So look at it from a mans perspective
- Hes never going to be first in line
- Hes never even going to be second or third in line
- He will incur potentially liability from the legal system
- The children will remind him, as all children do, that he is 'not their Daddy and he can't tell them what to do'
- He will have increased costs, which might lower his normal standard of living, and its almost assured that extras like vacation or early retirement are out of the question.
- His free time will be shortened or completely gone as he is going to have to help out in raising those kids in one fashion or another.
- He will have to endure the headaches of dealing with an ex or being a role model without any real authority
Thats alot of shit for one guy's plate. Sorry but I have to be honest and say good sex is not enough, not hardly enough for most men to want to deal with this. And I think its not offensive for folks to say if a man is going to have to endure all this for you and your kids, it wouldn't be asking alot for you to maximize your physical appearance and health.
The guy is going to be 5th in line, take a massive financial situation head on and could be potentially reamed by the Family Court system down the road but you are upset because someone suggests you go jogging more?
If you really think like that, trust me, its not the 4 kids that looks like the problem here. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/30/2006 1:52:27 PM | | How come the thread about "single fathers do care" got tooken off but the ones where they bash single fathers can still stay on?, that makes no sense just because some people do NOT agree with half of the single moms on the threads....but whatever (ITS JUST THE NET) | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/30/2006 4:37:18 PM | Boken I think they a deleting these posts because they might be either redundant since people forget to search before starting new ones, or they become pity parties or troll posts or they turn into chat threads......all against the rules. I decided that if I post a thread or in one that is either information to share with others or something related to the thread OP started and with a constructive, friendly, and non judgemental manner. Don't get me wrong I may have posted my own share of smart a$$ remarks but never a personal attack. This above being said I just broke the rules myself... And on that note....
To the OP I am finding a relationship and wanting one is way on the back burner for me but I have to say thank God I have wonderful male platonic friends who I hang out with. I guess I am lucky with the friends I have both male and female, and many being single so I don't feel like the odd person out. I have to say I am enjoying every day more then the last with my son and right now life is pretty sweet even being single. So maybe hang out with some of your male friends more often the romance might not be there but the caring and hugs can go a long way. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/30/2006 5:28:41 PM | Broken_wings please stay on the issue. Just a note to say that it's
very annoying to here you repeat yourself on each thread about the thread
"single fathers do care" that got deleted. Get over it!!! It's just a thread :)
FYI This thread is "single lonely mom 4 kids" If you need attention about
your missing thread why don't you post a new one entitled "where's my
thread" 
It doesn't take brains to figure it out but hey, if you really need to
be told the thread sucked the big one.....then hey, there you have it.
GPH | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 6/30/2006 7:34:32 PM | great purple hairstreak
You know the way your post's come off as you sound like you could be a real hateful **** but who know's because this is just ONLINE and anyways back to the ORGINAL TOPIC!
Wich you should be staying on i do NOT remembering asking you anything so stay out of stuff you have NO idea about! | |
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