| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 12/9/2006 5:43:30 AM | I read this thread just out of interset, as i am single mum with 4 kids.
And omg was i shocked and a little angered that so many people jump.
There are lots of men out their that run a mile at the mention of kids and some who don't.
Many women want their new man to take on ALL the responsabillitites of their kids.
But at the end of the day its the kids that matter i have had offers and they just expect me to push my kids aside and fit them in my life and they are told straight get lost! this is my choice. I have baggage yes and that baggage is with me and will remain so all my life no matter how old they get and how far they move on. However i don't expect anyone but their father to take responsability for them financially never have done never will do.
I have a friend who took on a partners kids loved them dearly and still sees the youngest one even though they are no longer together but it has made him cautious to going out, with other women who have kids not because it was a bad experience but because of the heartache of loving the kids as much as the gf and then having to leave them.
So i think that each indivdual situation is different and personnal to that person who is going though a tough time whatever and everyones opinion and advice will be different too.
Just don't get down hearted live life for each day and enjoy it to the full, if mr or mrs right comes along then great if not at least u'll die happy knowing you gave it all a bloody good try!!
Merry Christmas to you all and i hope u all find what your looking for! | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 12/9/2006 2:04:04 PM |
Don't settle for anything less that you deserve.
What if I think I deserve more than an overweight single mother of four?
I think Goddard is Dr. Phil
Actually I found his comments very sensible. What's wrong with telling a woman that, if she wanted a man of quality (and leaving aside her "leftovers" remark), she needed to work for it?
seems to me like WE win again
Ok, you win. Bye and have a nice life.  | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/1/2007 11:38:34 PM | | i would date a lady with 4 kids or more as long as i could help raise them as mine and be the daddy i never had | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/2/2007 2:34:37 PM | | im a single mum of 3, and also get comments,such as are they all to the same father?quite what difference it makes, i dont know,but yes they are and we were together for 12 years.hardly a major offence,starting a family with someone you love.then theres the other men who think cos youre a single mum with your own house,they can just come round at night,when the kids are in bed! the cheek! both are a massive turnoff to me! | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/2/2007 2:42:58 PM | I've got four...and they are quadruplets to boot. Some guys like the novelty of it..its rare and they wanna be involved. But I'm careful..those types aren't in for the long haul.
I have found a guy thats good to me and great to them. He's out there, just hang tough. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/2/2007 7:42:51 PM | Yes it is tough to meet that special someone. I am 45 and have two daughters 4 & 7.
Most people my age have grandkids allready. Women look at me and they shy away also.
I have been out of the dating scene so long I do not know what to do or not to do.
I am an above average looking guy thats in ggod shape and has a great job.
But not anybody interested.
It does get lonely sometimes and you love your kids but you really would like some adult time.
You have to be pround of your self raising your kids well and providing for them.
Keep smiling your luck is bound to change
Take Care
matt | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 7/5/2007 11:01:57 PM | well i was reading what criss wrote and i some what agree your kids can never fill that gap of lonlyness of a man holding you and caring for you but then on the hand if you are ment to have someone in your life it will happen and not when you are looking .i strongly believe that everyone comes into our lives for different reasons and they may only stay a short while and it may be to help us learn something or it may be to show us what we are doing wrong ,it could be for someone for u to cry on there shoulderand it could be for a life time but u can not look for these ppl because they just are there because they are ment to be at that time .so sweetie dont think u wont ever find that person to care about u cause if it is meant to be it will happen and by the way i have three wonderful children and two only live with me so i do know how u feel but my kids are my life and i wouldnt want it any other way and if i happen to meet someone that excepts me for me and is honest and caring then all the better but my kids will always be there and menwill always come and go but your children are from u and they will always be a part of u .well take care and good luck with your life sweetie | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 7/14/2007 2:56:23 PM | I'm also a single parent to four kids, and men don't look twice. I been single since my 3 year was born. So I have no advice for you either, but will read the responses to your message, I might get some tips lol | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 7/28/2007 9:52:47 AM | | CRISS i have raed the hole form and you are awsome your kids are so lucky to have you i feel like you are someone i would like to have in my life i never thought of my ex girlfreinds kids any different than my own i she had 2 boy,s and 2 girl,s and one was mine we lost intrest in each other well i didnt at first i was being stouborn a and it pushed her to another man and i knew i went to far i never had the urge or wanted another girl we had a time in are relationship we broke up and still after a long time i tried to move on and could not let her go we got back together it was like a dream and i did what i always do be stouborn did even give it a chance after are baby girl things got worse and i told her its going to be a long time before i let go i said last time we broke up i could not be with this girl cause i always had you on my mind this girl even said your tinking about your ex I was trying to tell her that this girl was good looking so not been able to perform was not physical attraction i put it different when my came home from work she said i was thinking about what you said and thought i was going to get it when it was in the past and didnt happen because if i could have anyone then it was her not the skinny blonde i never tried to correct her and im glad i didnt cause she,s doing way better and more happier and i will always love her!!!! | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 7/29/2007 5:21:39 AM | | hi im a single mum with four kids and always wurried that men woudlnt wanna fem with kids especialy 4, but i was single 6 n half years and then with exfiance 2 nhalf years, that finished in january and ive just met someone new, but i kno how lonely it gets and its hard but worth waiting to meet someone special | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 7/29/2007 9:30:39 AM | I'm having the same problem... but in my case i have two kids but they are old already 9 and 7....
I've tried singleparentsmeet (dot) c0m you might have better luck than me on that site... i think i know what you are going through... Personally in the financial side i am good i work mon-fri and put a lot of overtime... so its hard to meet people my x takes the kids with him every other weekend so i'm home alone... and start to think... and i really would like a man by my side that i could depend on and lean on once in a while... but until i meet someone with the qualities i'm looking for i refuse to settle for less...... 
Keep your head up... try that site its cheap to only 9.99 per month | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 8/30/2007 8:59:12 PM | | i feel if you are going to be with a lady with kids you should be there when they are up and be there to be part of the package and to help raise and love the kids as much as you love the lady in your life | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 8/30/2007 10:08:48 PM | Well I`m a mom with 5 kids and it is very hard :) and to be honest I haven`t had many problems with guys freaking out when I tell them that I have 5 kids, and if they do freak out about it then they soooo are not woth your time anyway, Your a special woman to take care of so many on your own , and If the guy doesn`t see it well the next one will, and apreciate you for all that you do, and for who you are;) Chin up the right man is out there just waiting to be found  | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 8/31/2007 1:52:10 AM | tim725
If you did everything, you would not be divorced!!!
Maybe you didn't feel appreciated, but do you expect her to bow down to you? | |
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duckys
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Joined: 8/25/2007
Msg: 165 | |
| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 8/31/2007 3:10:12 AM | | We single parents can use all the excuses under the sun, in the end its up to each of us to find a way of dating. Using the children as an excuse as I've been so rightly told doesnt wash, you make the time some how. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 8/31/2007 3:25:54 AM | | I have 4 kids ! 3 are grown and are with my exhusband my 12 old is with someone who I would have married but chose to go back with his ex.Both are great dads.I have been single 21 years the best advice I can give you is get happy with yourself.Don't worry about how many kids you have,your weight ,etc. If someone loves you it wont matter,if it bothers a guy then he's not for you.And remember your time is valuable and guys who are jerks are not worth your time .And while yes it would be nice to have a real man around to share things and cuddle with I don't need him to make me happy for I make my own happiness. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 9/14/2007 5:28:15 AM | Being a single parent means having to make sacrifices.
A guy (or gal) interested in a single parent also means having to make sacrifices.
The two do not always mix. I found that while raising my children as a single parent for many years, it was best to stay out of the daing scene. There are so many conflicts not only between parent and date, but between kids and parent and kids and date. Who puts these kids ahead of their own desires? The parent!
So, it might be best all around (even though it is lonely and damned hard to do) if single parents concern themselves FIRST with getting the kids raised (unless some VERY special potential is willing to make the necessary sacrifices willingly). Once the kids are raised and on their own, a parent is still always involved to a point, but can now prioritize time with an intended or potential partner. And one can not blame a guy or gal who wants to date for seeking a "devoted to me" partner. So if thats what they want, they are best satisfied seeking out a single without kids right?
Balance, common sense, and a little compromise and sacrifice can make the world a better place -especially for the kids caught in the middle of a relationship with these issues.!
And for those who warn single parents of the danger that someday the kids are going to be gone and leave a woman (or man) all alone - that is not only callous, it is not true. Kids are always your kids. Guys (or gals) tend to come and go. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:53:14 AM | Someone said--"The Brady Bunch? Well this is not TV--it's going to take an extra-ordinary Man who is charming with a big heart...
My Step Dad must have been that type of guy with my Mom.He came along when my Mom had 6 kids--5 boys-1 girl. In the next 18 months--they added one more girl. That is my sister who just made 41 in Sept-07....Do they make Men like this anymore--I am sure of it... | |
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de4u2
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Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 169 | |
| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 10/25/2007 7:06:52 AM | | be careful who you trust, i wasent and it cost me 100 thousand dollars, dont be wooed into love hon, if he is honest then tell me this, has he asked to cum see you if so between now and then their should not be one excuse for delay or get their good luck | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 11/5/2007 9:04:03 PM | I should not wait so long to come back and check on my posts lol, BTW I am not divorced, I am a widow, and my late huuby appreciated me and respected me , and I did in return. If he hadn`t had died we would still be married today, Also i had a son from my first marriage when we met and he loved him as his own. There a great men out there you just have to weed out the idiots to find them lol :)
Live, Love , Laugh  | |
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| Equity question for women who have children...
Posted: 1/1/2008 10:27:31 AM | Let's say you have just two children. You tell a new guy in your life that the kids will always be first, that he'll never be more important than #3. He tells you no problem, that you'll never be more important than #3 in his life, either.
Do you:
A) accept that as fair, or
B) expect to be #1 in his life, while he's only #3 (at best) in yours, NOT an equitable situation, or
C) Make him #1 in yours, so you both have what you want (arguably the Biblical view of marriage, incidentally, for those here who are Christian)? | |
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| Equity question for women who have children...
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:40:44 AM | i have 5 kids and have always say as soon as i meet some1 that the kids come 1st no matter what, if they can accept that then yr already on a good point. ok u get the same old question wow dint u have a tv etc etc u learn to live with that , i was with my kids dad for 15yrs wed for 14 of those an people look at you as your a freak for having so many children with the same guy lol(there problem not mine)..... the last guy i was with i was with him for nearly 3 yrs and my kids welcomed him into their lives with arms wide open, where as his son made life hell for us even though ALL the kids were treated the same.. i now just say say if u cant handle some1 with more than 1 or 2 kids than u obviously aint the one for me ...simple as that | |
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| Equity question for women who have children...
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:21:52 AM | Scientistguy (message #171): is the new guy a father of two? If so, OF COURSE I'd only be #3 in his life.
What would be more troubling to be is the somewhat bitter phrasing of that hypothetical conversation. The kind of person I seek, as a romantic companion or a friend, and the kind of person I try to be, isn't interested in keeping score and competing about "who's most important." He's secure in what he can offer - as well as his limitations and boundaries - and generously offers his affection to similarly safe, open people, without worrying about his numerical ranking. If he feels he wants more (time, focused attention, etc.) from me, then he raises that want in a grown-up conversation and we brainstorm about how we can better help meet each other's wants, without trespassing over boundaries or sacrificing our other commitments (such as paramount children's needs), and recognizing that a grownup doesn't always get everything s/he wants. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:23:08 AM | Im 27 and am single with 4 kids aged 8,7,5 and 3. I have found that most guys dont mind the number of kids I have. Right now its more of a choice to be single. I work 7 days a week, attend college 3 nights a week plus several online courses. It wouldnt be fair to my kids or the person I invite into our lives.
There are plenty of great guys and gals out there that love the idea of someone having four kids or even 2-3 kids. | |
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