| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:23:08 AM | Im 27 and am single with 4 kids aged 8,7,5 and 3. I have found that most guys dont mind the number of kids I have. Right now its more of a choice to be single. I work 7 days a week, attend college 3 nights a week plus several online courses. It wouldnt be fair to my kids or the person I invite into our lives.
There are plenty of great guys and gals out there that love the idea of someone having four kids or even 2-3 kids. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:48:28 PM | hi criss
like you single mum to 4 kids being 5 yr old twins, 7 yr old and an 8 yr disabled child. yes in the real world i would love to have a man who loves me for what i am and who i am but to get that they must except my 4 kids. my kids come first in my life so way i see it if they cant be bothered to accept you as you are and your fantastic kids then they are not the right person for you. be happy with what you have and reach your dreams and ambitions with your children and hopefully along the way you will meet the man of your dreams.
good luck
sarah | |
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Sarbux
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Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 177 | |
| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:41:49 PM | Wow well this reply is 2 years in the run now.. 2005 haha but i'll still try to reply. WHO CARES if men think whatever about you, you know what you've been through and that you're a good person with feelings and also carry a huge load that you should be proud of. People who don't have kids don't understand the amazing responsibility that you're responsible for all alone.. you should embrace that and know that whoever passes judgement upon you just by looking at your situation really doesn't or isn't worth your time or effort. You're doing a job that maybe not even 10 people put together could do, and that says A LOT about you! Give yourself a hand! I know I do!
~Sarah~ | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:01:17 AM |
"Okay everyone's mouth drops when they see FOUR kids..I usually get that...WEll Some people you can please and some you cant'....What really gets to me many times ...is that men dont really take the time to get to know a lady with child (ren). I can't say I blame them if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be cautious...Kids are money..Unless you make enough of it...But thats an absolute dream guy ....good looks, money, romantic, considerate, unselfish and understanding....(deep breath) Boy thats hard to swallow. I often think to myself and encourage myself by thinking...well I need to meet someone who will love me...after all I'm funny as hell. I can be one of the guys one minute and I couod be a real lady the next...carrying tons of sex appeal.. I can be the shoulder you cry on, your backbone when you cant do it, the good women that stands behind her man, and I can be that special geek that does something and doesnt care what anybody thinks....But do you think for the life of me...A good man...not out for sex...or financial stability....would give me the time of day....No way....Or the dude compares you to his friends 5'5 skinny blonde gorgeous girlfriend..lol...And it's not long after his friends have him sold on "it's not worth it man", So the beat goes on...And the search continues..
I am by no means utterly depressed or completely lonely..but it's hard..
Everone on here can attest to that...
So what advice or success story would someone care to share....on this topic of single mom's or dad's and the insecurity of not finding someone...or picking the leftovers...
Criss
There are guys out there that will date a woman w/ four kids.
Most won't because they are afraid of "instant family"...or the financial responsibility...or the headaches of maturing teenagers...or being in 2nd,3rd or 4th place in a relationship...
My guess (and this is not to be unkind) that if a woman w/ 4 kids wants a man...she'll have to do some serious marketing of herself and her position.
An attractive,successful woman w/ 4 kids is going to have more appeal than an unkempt and broke woman w/ 4 kids...
Sorry..it's the truth.
She may have to consider putting off dating until after the oldest kids leave home...
She may have to..."settle"
BEFORE a woman finds herself in this position (unless she's widowed) a woman may want to sit down and seriously consider how her life's going to be if she HAS more than one or two kids.
I've never dated a woman w/ more than 3 kids...
Unless they were adults...or she was rich...I probably wouldn't...
Nothing against her...but there'd be more issues in a situation like that than I'd like to take on....
I'm sure I'm not alone in the way I feel | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:42:12 PM | this is interesting
so there are standards when a woman has ,what?, two or more kids???
never mind the fact that the woman may be the one who would do anything for you, who will love you till the day you die and hereafter? be there for you thick and thin.. give you the smile and laughter you need and the support for you to lean on
noooo... she has to lose the poundage and have a $$$$ career in order to have appeal
well,
..for the men who think they( i say they because the moms come with a package) are too much to handle, live with, deal with, love
you don't deserve them!!!!!  | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:19:59 AM | so there are standards when a woman has ,what?, two or more kids??
Yes, there are. And, unless you are willing to date any man, you have standards, too. What's the difference?
never mind the fact that the woman may be the one who would do anything for you, who will love you till the day you die and hereafter? be there for you thick and thin.. give you the smile and laughter you need and the support for you to lean on
Er... with her four children, at what time can she do all of that? Besides, "fact" and "may" are incompatible.
noooo... she has to lose the poundage and have a $$$$ career in order to have appeal
Noo... how can a guy dare to want an attractive, self-supporting woman? Those pesky men and their unreasonable expectations!
..for the men who think they( i say they because the moms come with a package) are too much to handle, live with, deal with, love
you don't deserve them!!!!!
You say it as if it were something bad.  | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:26:23 AM | I have four kids and a grandbaby and I have no problems finding men mabe not the right man lol but as long as u tell them you not looking for a baby daddy ..... Trust me girl go into it with the attitude of im in charge dont need you for my kids need u for me and the men flock easier ........ Its hard I know but you will find a good man trust that god bless  | |
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Bibidy
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Joined: 12/15/2007
Msg: 182 | |
| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:47:48 AM | hey, stay at it, dont give up lookin. yeah 4 kids might put folk off. I got three and im in the same boat as you. some folk thinking cause i already got 3 i wont want anymore, truth is, with the right person, right time and place. then i'd have to think about it.
Stick at it you will find someone. theres someone out there for you, it might take a wee bit o time to find them!!
Gd luck
Rob | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:54:27 PM | i go out of my way looking for singles moms with kids.
just for the fact that i was born serial i can never have kids. and i know i can be a good dad
if given the chance. I'm 41 3/4 will be 42 in July 16th. i live in Dracut ma. alone still .
i have been looking for a good woman for some time, i do not drink or smoke or do any tipe of drugs. i want to love and be loved. i have a great job i have been driving tractor trailer for 22 years, i love my job i make good money I'm happy i have a very good family and great friends. i have been looking for woman from 28 years and up. thin to ave. no hang up's
no drugs. no drinking, no smoking. it's not easy on this end eather you know...
just wanted to share that with the world.
thanks
stu | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 5/6/2008 7:15:23 PM | Let me say first, that I know how you feel. You think their mouths drop open when you tell them you have 4 kids? Try telling them you are the mother of 8. Yes, 8! I have 4 boys and 4 girls. All of them are mine and each was an individual birth. No adopted children, no step children, no multiple births. Honey, telling a man you are the mother of 8 is like taking a lighter to them and setting them on fire! Immediately they assume I am looking for "the baby's daddy" or someone to take care of me and my "litter".... Only 4 of them are of dependent age, and the oldest 4 are well on their way to college, careers, spouses and lives of their own. But once they hear the number 8, well that is all they hear.
I am an intelligent, college educated, degree holding, licensed professional. I own my own home, my own cars, and hold not one credit card. I pay for the things that I want in cash and only have my home on a mortgage. (And may I say that I was approved for a 100% financing on my home at 5%, and that was 3yrs ago, and guess what credit score you have to have to get that?!) I live on the higher end of town and my children go to some of the best magnet schools in town. As a matter of fact, I am doing better than many of my married friends, and it is not because of alimony, because I do not get any, and the child support I receive is less than half of what several of my girlfriends get from their ex's for just one kid!
I take care of myself and my own. My children do not need "daddies", they have them.
Truth be told, any of the men that have contacted me would have learned that if they had not dropped out of sight once they heard about my stats in the breeding department!
And I do have a little secret to share with you, too. You see I have been known to drop the "I have 8 kids" card to my advantage, especially when the less than desirable gentleman doesn't take "no thanks" for an answer.
Take it all in stride, honey! There will be someone out there that will be a match for you. Having children is not a disease or a deformity, and it sure as hell does not mean that you have to "settle" for someone less than what you want or dream of having. Think about it... do you want your children to learn from their mother that they are not worth the best that there is to offer? Tell me....if their mom doesn't feel like she's worth having because of them, what is that going to tell them about their own self worth.
Keep trying and always remember.....for every "Mr. Wrong" that you come across, there will be at least some good stories to tell your girlfriends after he finds his way to the door.
Always look for the entertainment value!!!! Life is too short
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/9/2009 8:22:26 PM | | I am a success story. I would like to share. I am a single mother with two teenage daughters. I have no insecurity at not finding someone. I have too much to do right now. Raising children on your own is a mega full time job. I understand that right now I don't have enough left over to give. Getting these girls through university is my goal right now and I don't need any sidelines to detract me from that job. Me time? I take a little bit here and there to say hello to people but I keep my eyes on the prize. Well raised successful kids. They are at a disadvantage cause they have a broke ass single mom and that's about it. They will need everything I got for the next few years. When they are where they need to be, then and only then, I will have enough left over to start playing with boys. I am happy. I have a happy home. I have happy well behaved children but it comes at a price. For now celibacy is the price I pay. Once they are on their way............Maby then I will have the time and love spare to earn myself a great guy. It isn't some flaw in myself that keeps me single. I just understand that all that good stuff I have to give is needed elsewhere right now. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/9/2009 8:54:23 PM | hell no i would not want to date a single mum with 4 kids to much time to be to little time wasted and 4 kids is enough to deal with what goes with single mum but i know im so  i dont have to deal with that issue in my life but good luck if theres a guy for you out there unless you want to date a single father and he has 5 kids which = the brady bunch | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/12/2009 2:13:38 AM |  all you so called wonderful childless guys who have made opinions on this lady need to give birth just once, maybe a watermelon shoved up your derie and then made to push it out for numerous hrs would give you a better respect for a woman who has had children i mean we all have mothers dont we, and until you have children your not a woman your classed as a little girl cause no female has any idea as to what a real woman goes thru, so guys try the watermelon trick before you judge a woman(not girl) and until you find a decent respect for them keep your coments too yourself orrrr go try and let your mother know what you think im sure she'll crack you over the head once or twice till you get the whole message, ohhhh and also even though im a size 12, get off the problems with full figured women (not girls they would never understand that until they have a child they dont have hips) we are all skinny as hell and fugly as each other when we are 6 feet under so get over it kkkk. this lady doesnt want your opinions if you are only going to talk about her weight ect, shes looking for a decent geinuine man(gentleman at that) who would prefer to have someone who actually has a personality without a mirror, besides if she got with you guys you'd steal the mirror hairdryer and bathroom and then she would have no hope lol, soooo get over it you single childless boys.     | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:21:48 PM | | I totally understand I have 4 kids as well and jus moved to the area, Ive been hurt twice by two guys that made me think that its ok if I had kids and theyd be there for me..they tricked me into falling in love with them and then i found out the whole time i was busy with my kids doing things, they were out with other woman telling other woman they were single...damn it didnt jus happen once either this is with 2 different guys...I jus wonder if that would happen to all woman with lots of kids, cause they do keep us very busy...It hurts so bad, I dont know if Ill ever trust again..my youngest daughter told me theres plenty of fish in the sea so i joined this site..maybe its a sign..lol...probly not.. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/14/2009 7:22:54 PM | | Excellent! You hang in there and you will find a real man, someone who will treasure you just as you are, and will see your children as the treasures they are, and be the happy as pie. | |
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| Single lonely mom 4 kids
Posted: 3/14/2009 8:45:01 PM | Hello (OP) I'm a single mom of 6 so I know how it feels to be kinda left behind!
The best part of everything is that even though your lonely for a companion, you have 4 heathly wonderful kids!! It is alot for a single guy to take on when women like us do have so many kids & it is hard on the kids if it doesn't work out. Just keep your head up girl & know that the right one is out there...good things come to all those who wait! Just keep up the good work on raising your lil ones & take care of yourself too!! BTW...some of the ppl on here can really be to much...just take it in stride...don't settle for anything but what you want ( as long as its realastic)!
Best of Luck to you! | |
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