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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/29/2006 6:42:20 PM | Yes, I realized that i have fallen inlove with the first date I had here in POF... Catcharmer...
Its so hard to admit it but I did.... despite the hurtful things we have said to each other I cant seem to get him off my mind .....
It really sucks its been a month and half and counting.... I wish we can turn back time & start over again... i truly miss him a whole lot.... | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/18/2006 8:47:28 PM | | well now wouldnt life be simple if we could all do that?but unfortunately thats not reality..beleive me ive been there ..if i could turn back time i wouldnt have kept fallin for the wrong kinda men the bad boy type ya know lieing cheating head games kinda men but we take what life hands us and try our best to learn from them and in the end we have to beleive it will make us all stronger and better people and when we finally do find that wonderful kinda love that was meant for only us wont it make it even that much more amazing? still trying to beleive ..i know he has to be out there somewhere looking for me as im looking for and waiting for him | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/18/2006 8:55:46 PM | i think my problem is I enjoy the company & enjoy the attention that is when I start having feelings towards them.
I have gone through several dates in here that I have fallen with 3 of the guys I dated which I cant have that is for sure....
****- he went back to his ex gf & didnt want nothing to do with me.
****- just slept with me & made excuses not to be with me after we slept together then Blocked me...
And the most recent one would be ****- who is the one I relate well but lied & lied so many times that now I am just giving up on the idea that he wasnt MAN enough in the first place to be truthful towards me.......
Now I am dating again.... and exploring the possibilities out there--- just meeting ppl to HANG OUT with nothing physical so it doesnt complicate things..... And I am just having a fun time with the idea bec then its difficult to have strong feelings back on them.....which is better for us both in the process....
[member names edited/Dog] | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:12:54 AM | Hey man i know what ya goin through im goin into my 4th year. Its even worse when they know u love them & all theu do is play on it .It almost makes me wanna hate her but that will never happen . | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:29:20 AM | I am sorry, I can't buy into this scenario. I know that lust is often mistaken for love and can fool even the wisest of veterans in life, but in MY experience, love is NOT an event, it's a PROJECT, you cannot fall into it, and it does ot just happen to you, it is BUILT upon a foundation of friendship, trust and common ground.
Conversely however, I have had very VERY strong feelings for someone I couldn't possibly have been in love with and that can be based on many things, but recognizing them for what they are can be a difficult thing to do. It often takes a look within and some self-analysis which most people in general, are just nto good at, or abjective enough to see clearly.
In still other cases, I have been very much in love with someone I had known a long time and gotten very close to. And I knew it was real because of the way it was built over time, the way it stayed real when she was with Chad, By the way I knew Chad was better for her and was happy to see her with a great guy (And he realy is a great guy, he and I have become very good friends and he knows everyhting about the truth. the three of us are very close and both of them KNOW I would never try to get between them)
Oddly I feel no jealousy, I still love to see Samantha smile and be happy, and the best part of all is that she trusts me and so does Chad and I can get as close as I like to both of them with no weird, uncomfortable or awkward moments. What I have with both Chad and Samantha, I can never lose or spoil. ;)
Jealousy is usually a great indicator that it isn't real. (This is complex to explain, and will be covered in one of the chapters in my latest book "Of Mice and Women" So I'll have to hope most of you "get it")
Anyway, be careful about being quick to label your feelings. Humans are so very complex when it comes to emotions, that VERY few even understand THEMSELVES. Many may be hesitant to admit that, but I have found in my own experiences with people that it is often true.
People are absolutely fascinating to observe no matter what mode of behaviour they are displaying. I have spent some 27-28 years watching them. Interesting species aren't they? A never ending source of astonishment and amusement. :) Each beautiful in their own way...
I do wish you all luck in all of your endeavors though. :) You will all find your paths eventually. I hope they are easy going and filled with everything that helps complete your days and all the beauty that pales next to your mate whom you can point that out to. :) | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:33:46 AM | Hi:
I believe that there is something to the belief that "we always want what we can't have." And why not? When we can't have someone, we can imagine how "great" it would be to have him/her, without facing the reality that a real relationship, with someone who we CAN have may never live-up to our fantasies of the one we can't. Just the thoughts of a guy who has been, and is still in this situation, and has thought about it a lot. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 85 | |
| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:47:00 AM | 1) I used to be, long time ago
2) I used to all the time
3) It used to...now it's just a part of my history
Comment: I'll never do that $hit again!!!! Live and learn. | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 6:30:53 AM | Since there is no edit on my 1st post I wanted to add .. Yes I was madly in love with a man That I can't have
He died 12 years ago.
But I still think about him every now and then | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 6:46:03 AM | TBird, you're the type of woman I fall for and can't have. And I can't imagine you would ever be in that position anyway.
Alas, the feeling will go away...once I find another unattainable soul. | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 7:00:20 AM | | there is a girl i know i have been best mate with her for years now and i'v allways had a thing for her. she is with some one and has a kid with him and i would never try and brake that up i am just happy if she is can't help but envy the other guy though | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 5:24:49 PM | Sometimes I think going after what we cant have is just our way of loving in a "safe" situation. having said that, to hold onto something that stops your growth only ends up getting in the way of life, love and joy. Time to move on, cut the ties and know that someday you will find love again and then in the future you will look back and think about that "one you couldnt have " and say HUH.....who was that!.
good Luck, Mark | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 7:59:00 PM | | I understand, I was with someone, and I made some mistakes, and he moved on, I've tried so hard, but it always comes back to him, and I think it always will. Do I think therepy will work NO! Hopefully in my own time it will, But I'm still waiting for that day. | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 8:32:25 PM | | I know exactly what you mean, think you know someone so well, have him make you think that he loves you for all that you are, and that he is exactly the man you are looking for, (and he makes you think he feels the same way)then you drop your guard and believe him, then he starts playing mind games and denying what is obvious, then the lies start!!! It's hard to let go, to make the love of 6 years go away and to believe that it was all a lie! Then expect you to let him come around when he feels like it, or maybe when he has nothing better to do? And for you to let him come around(cause you fell for it, again!) and act hurt when you don't believe him. And you fall for it over and over again. How do you stop your heart from getting in the way of your head?!! Without putting it in a cold dark place never to be seen again? I know the right one is out there, but how do you open yourself up to seeing him? Turn your heart away from the one that damaged you? Again? | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 8:52:15 PM | Same thing here, but he won't admit it's the sex, oh, except when he feels guilty about it, then wants to come back and that I should be here. Well, I think I have run him off for good this time, it's been a month, this time. Trouble is I don't know if I am strong enough yet to tell him to stay away, or to just be a 'friend' I do really like him as a person,(that's how it started) but I love him more. And yes it is love, after 6 years it's not just be lust!
He just won't give up his 'other' life, I don't know if he loves that more, or just afraid to move on?! Or just doesn't have the b***s to so something about it! I want someone that does! Just a waste of time it seems for the woman(or man)and that is something that should never be wasted! So 'we' need to stop wasting our lives on people that aren't worth our love and time! | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 9:00:44 PM | | Yep, and still am... just like Charlie Brown said "Nothing quite takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love" (or something like that - if it was said earlier, forgive me! I'm too tired to read every message!). I doubt I'll ever see her again, so I need to move on. I believe I can love her for who she is, the good and the faults, but it's the getting past that which is hard. Plus, she was about the only cool person at work... most won't even talk to me (long story, toxic workplace, etc, etc). | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 9:17:16 PM | I still have VERY strong feelings for someone who is now 900 miles from me..I love him still, but I know he is not the one, if so he would have never let me go..I also remind myself that he did some pretty rotten things to me, and I do not focus on ALL the good times. I am starting a new life now and am ready to roll with it. I will never regret being with him, or loving him..Afterall, isn't that what we are all suppose to do? Just love with all our hearts? I am in control of my happiness, and I say bring it !!!
Gwendolyn... | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 9/19/2006 9:19:44 PM | | Absofreakinglutely. She loves me too. I blew it, and the hurt that was caused by that fact, has made me impossible to trust with her heart. It sucks. I tried everything that I could when I smartened up. All it did was make me seem nuts, because I was so passionate about my cause. I have to let go I guess. Let her make her mistakes, but let her know that I will allways be there. There will be a time when she will. I hope that pride, anger or hurt doesn't dissuade her from doing it. Peace out. | |
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