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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/26/2008 10:09:57 AM | This thread really is a downer...
Msg 180 seems to get the real meaning of what love is all about....
Love should bring out the very best in a person... | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/26/2008 12:08:53 PM | I thought so a couple of time and it bothered me until I realized that I cannot be in love with someone whom I cannot have. To me love is sharing each other on various levels. If it is one way it may be infatuation but it is not love.
I have been told by many that I will "find someone to love." I'm not even sure that's true. If some kind of connection happens I believe it will because we have found each other.
It takes two. | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/26/2008 1:51:21 PM | | Was there but have moved on. Two years and she wouldn't even give me the time of the day to even go out. Somehow old flames never die. It remains hidden somewhere in our heart then everytime you see that person even if the love is gone, the slight feeling comes back. | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/26/2008 2:00:49 PM | | WHO ISN'T ? ;) It is almost impossible to go through life without wanting something you can't have, whether it's a fancy car, a nicer house or that special someone who is just out of reach. It's part of the Human condition, and yeah, it bites. | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/26/2008 2:14:40 PM | Yes I'm in love with my best friend of mine for over 22 years that happens,
to be a good man always one that will remain my friend till I leave this earth .
Ive had a strong bond and connection with this person personaly.
Our kids are close and grew up together and yet we talk everyday on the phone
hes dating someone else and I'm happy for him.
We are friends to this day and I've ,
learned to move on and adjust to having just his friendship and the feelings I
had will always be there in my heart always we can't have what we always want
so why not just keep it friends and I'd rather have him in life as a friend that not
at all!
Friends will remain in your heart always!
~Brenny | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/26/2008 11:51:49 PM | Well I was with a guy for 8mos. one day he just up and said "i dont love you like i used to!"
Devestation set in right away...believe me it gets better slowly. I really really know how you feel b/c if he came back tomorrow i'd drop everything. It sucks when you love someone that much that you feel like your life is over in a split second. It's true the saying "Time will heal" It always will. In the meantime occupy yourself doinfg whatever you can to get through, b/c it's ok to just get through the day and lay in your bed and cry. If things do come back to normal, take it slow...let them know your feelings...if they don;t hear you out then, you need to move on!
Good luck! | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/27/2008 4:34:50 AM | Two years is too long...............just my opinion.
All this,,I'm not ready,,I got a situation ,,,is a cop out. If something wonderful finds you get yourself ready, disengage from your situation.
What is supposed to be yours ,,will be yours. Suffering is not an indicator of how much you love a person. It's an indicator of how much pain you can take. It's a challenge you can live without.
Does this person know how you feel, or are you falling into the keeping it casual trap just to be near them? If you are,,you're lying. Stop it.
My advice, be honest , with yourself, this other person, and if they can't be who you want them to be, move on. Let them know,,,if you ever decide you want more,,call me,,,but this is not enough, I need more.
There are others, yet unmet, unconsidered, because this person is in the way, wasting your time,,your energy,,,all the wonderful qualities that are you.
Of course it will hurt to let go,,but it will heal,,there is no such thing as "can't have", it really is "doesn't want any more from you".
Love,,,,,,,,,if not returned ,,,,is an injury, by hanging on,,you're cutting yourself over and over. The reasons don't matter,,,,,,,,,excuses are excuses, no matter how plausable they might sound.
Meet as many ppl as you can,,,make lots of friends,,, keep busy,,,,you deserve better. | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/27/2008 7:26:20 AM |
are you in love with someone you can't have?
Yes, and I will always love him...but my life still goes on. And as painful as it's all been, it taught me a lot about myself. | |
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ree2
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Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 212 | |
| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/27/2008 10:25:43 AM | very old soul and smile for me again, ive been going thru the same thing for about 4 yrs and its very hard to move on but 1 thing i dont do is feel sorry 4 myself i realized that it is going to take some time to get over him but its hard because him n i have children but i have decided to move on and i think im still holding on to him because i feel that no1 one else will want me with kids im a good well rounded woman but the thing some men c are my kids there father is in there life and hes moved on while im stuck still loving him and the only way things will change is if i force myself to move on even though i want him, but i dont want to pass up anything that can be good for me all bcuz im stuck on my kids father he hurt me so bad, but i have to move on because i want to give some1 else a chane with this wonderful woman so you have to keep in your mind your bettr than that and the bad thing is that these ppl c how its affecting you guys, just like my kids father he knows it affects me but he doesnt care and thats y i need to move on i dont want to spend another like this, 1 day your gona get tired of being tired and tired of being hurt and your just gona say effffff itttttt!!!!!!!!!! just like i did im still hurt and i still love so dont get me wrong but i dont love him enough to allow myself to miss out on life so try ur hardest to move on keep yourselfs busy so your mind wont be on these ppl have fun and enjoy life  | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/27/2008 12:02:34 PM | No - it was more like lust than love.
Broken hearts are for ***holes.
Get over it. Life is too short to dwell in the past.
Perhaps the reason they did not reciprocate your feelings is because they did not want to be HAD. Possesive people should probably remain single because they have issues that they need to deal with.
The only person that you can "have" is yourself. Love yourself first then you may have a better chance of finding someone who will love you.
No expectations = No dissapointments | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/27/2008 12:39:04 PM | I'm here and have been for 2+ years now. Danielle. I dated her in High school and broke up with her for some crazy ass **** that screwed me over. Was the biggest mistake of my life. Whats so messed up is i gave permission for my best friend to date her and they have been together ever since. I mean what am i supposed to do now? I see them happy every day and i wish it was me and her but i mean i dont want to say anything. Its one of those loves where you just cant explain it. It's never been obsessive i mean hes by best friend and everything, we hang out all the time with all of our friends and have a good time of it. Every now and then we meet eyes for a few moments and those baby blues seem to have something there for me its just like we share that moment with each other and its just ours. I see it in her that she knows whats going on and never said anything about it either but i dont want to wish her and him bad, but i want to be with her. Maybe someday sometime we will be alone and we can just sit and talk about it. Until then i'll stand aside and watch as the woman i love spends her life with him.  | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/27/2008 6:17:01 PM | | im in love wi some1 i dont think i can have. but dun even kno how to tell him how i feel. im sooo confused n dunno wa to do. can any1 give me advice plz ? | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/28/2008 8:08:04 PM | I have a story that i'm going through, gone thru all my life, had feelings for someone who lives 500 miles away from me that I grew up with once upon a time....but i don't even feel inclined to share it because it sounds so much like a bad teenage soap opera that it will have u guys laughing. Instead I will leave you with this:
What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more.... | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:39:02 AM | i know the feeling just cant let go it really sucks , its been 4 long years 4 me how pathectic right? and he knows that im still in love with him and he just wants 2 be friends oooooooooooo that makes me mad lol.soo i need some advice here what do i do? hopeless romantic...... | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:52:38 AM | It hurts to be rejected-it hurts to love and not have those feelings returned-
But realizing I ultimatly can't make him love me-I have to be who I am and if he can't see that I am the best woman he has ever meet....well I can't convince him or change that. I can't change who he is either.
That person doesn't deserve your attention and move on-it hurts-but that is why we are here on POF-find the one that does deserve you! Love yourself enough to walk away and move on!
best of luck to all with broken hearts-You are not alone! | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/29/2008 3:42:46 PM | Imagine not only wanting something you can't have, but making that thing your life's ambition, a neverending quest for something impossible...unreachable....unattainable. Perfect. You know that the odds are piled up so high against you that no matter how hard you try, no matter how far you go, it's a goal you will never reach. Imagine being born and growing up with the woman of your dreams, having intense powerful feelings for this person since you were too young to remember; but being terrified to tell her, knowing that if you do you will face the ultimate rejection. Knowing the supreme humiliation and dishonor of possibly spending the rest of your life alone, desperately, vainly searching for someone else like her, that even reminds you of her, but in the back of your head knowing that no such person exists.
That's what my life has been like. Stupid, i know, but I have no control over it. If you've known someone since they were a baby, losing them is like losing a child of your own. You can't simply turn off your feelings for someone like that, it doesn't work that way.
But then imagine that for a single moment, that impossible goal is suddenly within reach. Imagine going so far, climbing so high, that that person you've always wanted is right in front of you, and you could literally reach out and touch her. But you also run the risk of slipping, losing your grip and falling aaaaallll the way back down to earth, back into your bottomless pit of despair. Would you be able to risk everything and reach out? That just happened to me literally last week.
I got in contact again with this girl who i've known absolutely forever who lives in Ohio, 500 miles away from me. She is, without a doubt, the coolest person i've ever met. Our families have been friends for over 35 years now and we used to go see them every year at least once, if not twice. We were baptized together, essentially we are 'god siblings.' Even before we were born, our parents wanted us to be together, started out as a joke but we took it a bit too seriously....they said we were "betrothed." We are like fraternal twins seperated at birth. Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it? lol | |
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| are you in love with someone you can't have?
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:13:56 PM | Anyway this girl i have not heard from in 4 years, she just dropped off the face of the planet. My parents called her parents, and they never returned our calls, or emails, or letters. We thought they had either died, or simply didn't want to associate with us anymore, as if we had done something to offend them.
Then out of the blue, bored one day, I find this girl again on Facebook of all places. The last time I saw her I was a senior in high school. She looks exactly the way I remembered, but Ive changed so much as to be unrecognizable. My face, hair, clothing style, attitude, everything. I send her a message and we start emailing back and forth, then talking on AIM then going to the cellphone. She tells me her parents got a divorce, she has been in and out of the hospital several times for alcoholism, anorexia and a bunch of other things. She just recently found out she has Hepatitis C (from a hospital in New Orleans) and has to undergo 24 months of intense chemotherapy-like treatment. All her hair is going to fall out and she can't have sex for 2 years. But after hearing all that, I still love her for who she is and who she was, a lifelong friend of mine. I told her I would do anything for her and if she got really sick I would be on the plane up there instantly so I could be at her side. Thats how deeply I care about her.
So we push our parents to start talking again and arrange a meeting. We wait 4 months without much happening. Then 2 weeks ago, I decide to quit my stupid, dead end, underpaying job so I can go see her. Last week we were in Ohio, and when she was alone, I told her something I should have told her 18 years ago, my best kept secret ever. That I have always loved her, still do and always will. I wrote her a 12 page letter about what the past 5 years of my life has been like, really my entire childhood and teenage life growing up without her, everything I went through and how it changed me into a man and made me stronger. And for once in my life, I was honest about my feelings. I told her everything, literally poured my soul out on to a piece of paper, ripped my heart out and threw it on the ground at her feet for her to walk on. She made me read it aloud to her, even though I was nervous and my voice cracked like crazy. But at least I wasn't afraid. It felt good to finally release those feelings in her presence. It was a life-changing experience.
After listening to the whole thing, she was speechless. In fact, she started crying. She told me it was the most beautiful and romantic thing anyone had ever said to her. I basically proposed to her on the spot. She didnt say yes, but she didn't say no either. She just said that our parents always thought it was meant to be and still consider us 'betrothed'. But she also said that she is dating a guy, who I hadn't met and didnt really know much about, who she's known for 5 years and wants to marry him. I took that pretty well I think considering my situation. I wasn't upset, i just felt relieved that I wasn't too late. i was able to tell her and that was all that mattered.
So anyway she is still with this amazing man of hers, and I'm still single. I think it will be this way for a long time, probably years. I don't want to sue the word 'jealous' because that's a horrible evil sounding word, but I am a little bit saddened. Why does this guy get to have her, a high school friend, when i have known her for 23 YEARS and am like her twin, but still can't ever be with her? I know the reason. I'm too far away. I'm not that guy next door or down the street, and never will be.
I still want to be with her, like nothing else. But It seems furtehr than ever out of reach now.
Some things we just have to be realistic and come to terms with I guess. | |
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