| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 1/10/2007 5:48:48 PM | | Wow!!! The eternal debate that will always exist between man and woman. It seems the prevailing tone is an acceptance of honest and mature dialogue when deemed appropriate by all parties involved. Unfortunately, it still dips into the 20's in New Orleans once in awhile and the IRS will never cease to exist!! I have been on both sides of this debate as I have had one night stands, first date sex, and respected body language indicating no interest. Have I expected or felt I deserved the privilege of taking a woman to bed for sex? No!! Is sex my intention on taking a woman out for dinner, the R&R Hall of Fame, Niagara Falls, or a simple backpacking trip? Again, NO! Sex is a joyful and rewarding experience only when both parties are in tune. Otherwise, what's the point? Some people are able to immediately indulge in passion with no consciense and sometimes it continues and even blossoms into a longlasting and loving relationship. Otherwise, does it matter if both parties are consenting? In our society far too many are so uptight they probably never rode as much as a merry-go-round for fear they might enjoy it. But, back to the point at hand, I believe one of the most profound statements I ever heard was from a woman on PBS a number of years ago: "Men give love in exchange for sex, while women give sex in exchange for love." As accurate an observation I feel this is, the pitfalls of human frailness and bad decision making sour its simplicity. When a man meets a woman that "trips his trigger" it is just that. Does his inner mind suddenly display SEX in the forefront? Yes and no. Women do everything imaginable to attract a man and men respond accordingly though this does not justify certain expectations. My apologies to those taking offense, but we are animals afterall and in spite of intellect and reason particular instincts control practically everything we do. It is our ability to make decisions which makes us stand out. Come on ladies, though we all have sex in the back of our minds, a man with any sense of reality and maturity today knows he cannot enter the room with a codpiece for all to see. And, yes, some of us do seek a friend with the hope it may grow into something more. Life's a **** (or **stard) isn't it? | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 1/18/2007 5:41:49 PM |
haven't we all at one time used someone because we wanted it bad. Come on be truthful.
No. Wanting it bad is no excuse for using someone. Neither is using someone because someone else did it to you. If you want it bad, hire a prostitute, or get a blow up doll. Someone who would willingly use someone for any purpose is manipulative, cold and self serving. | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 1/18/2007 7:14:27 PM | "Men give love in exchange for sex, while women give sex in exchange for love."
Having seen parts of this thread occaisionally, it occurs to me this is a sexist generalism that paints us both as imbalanced. We are able to discuss love and sex in a relationship. Better to include both than the time being a mostly unspoken competition to see who gets their personal,one, pre-eminent goal?
Some of the best advice I ever got was to marry someone with whom I could discuss anything. If we're having such discussions, then neither gets bamboozled into doing something they regret. At least, that's my hope .
Just my humble two cents. | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 1/18/2007 9:58:28 PM | | Sorry u have to meet a--holes like that. Not all men are that way.Like u said i like sex but it is n't what i want to start with.I want to get to know a lady first.That means talking to get to know each other.If there is only friendship in our hearts then that is ok.My name is keith | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 1/19/2007 3:03:35 AM | | Hi, Artsy... I read your earlier post that you're thinking of deleting your profile. I, for one, would be so sorry to see you go. You are a smart, spunky, witty lady. You and a handful of other "fishers" have kept my interest in POF alive when I thought I was wasting my time here. | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 1/19/2007 6:53:59 AM | Here is a secret for the women but I can't say it is true for all me. When I meet a woman that meets marriage criteria, I am definitely not thinking about sex the first couple dates. I'm so busy falling in love with her that it is not a priority.
When I meet an attractive woman interested in me, I recognize quickly when she is looking for sex and not completely interested in me. Women do generally come out and say they don't want the relationship, just the benefits though. I may or may not pursue it depending on if I think it will be a fun learning experience.
Never let a man beg, bully, or buy you. | |
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cute6
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Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 135 | |
| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 1/19/2007 8:38:36 AM | | This isn't the 1800's. If someone finds a person to have sex with thats their business.If you don't like what someone says move on.Not all men are looking for sex.There is alot of women who are looking for it though.With an attitude like yours ,you may never find someone.Keep searching,there is alot of fish in the sea.Use the right bait,fish in more than one spot. | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 1/19/2007 9:01:45 AM | justyou.............now that's being very nice of you speaking of your sincerity. there are too many men here in pa that has nothing to think about other than sex.
as with me, whenever i meet anyone, sex is the furthest thing from my mind and i tend to pick up on what they're after other than this one guy that i met. geez, that's all he talked about was sex.
oh and if any man were to beg me for sex then he's out, ain't no man gonna buy me cuz i'm not for sale..................and if a man's gonna bully me, well he might be introduced to my bull as well. | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 2/6/2007 6:07:47 PM | If they say that( I just want sex) they are not getting it...duh.................but there are a lot of guys and gals that want more...the sex just happens..it is a natural thing that is fun and with the right person almost irresistible
Why make it too complicated?....Why attach too much to it?...be smart, be safe, respect your partner.......funny thing...just an observation (limmited as it may be) Men are begining to attach more emotion into sex than women. Some guys believe if they have sex with a gal she belongs to them....not sooo ...big surprise | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 2/6/2007 7:07:06 PM |
I personally, admire them for being honest.
Honesty isn't always a quality to admire. I once dated a woman who I found out was in it just for the sex. Yeah, yeah, c'mon guys. I am not bragging. I can identify with those women now. What I was feeling was that this gal would have had sex with ANYONE. I just happened to be there at the right time. That was not very flattering.
I don't know about OTHER guys, but if she had TOLD me that that was all she wanted, I would have told her to go find someone else to use. Sex with someone who is in it only for themselves isn't much fun anyway. | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 2/6/2007 7:32:03 PM | there r somethings u have to take into consideration here.i was told that they did a study on sex and the effect it has on men and women.what they say is that women seem to stay with a guy that they had sex with because the women start to get attracted to the guy that they had sex with.plus half the women i went out with were the ones who wanted sex not me,i want sex but not until we r dating for awhile.my last relationship if u want to call it that the girl just wanted a guy for a **** buddy even though i didnt want to date for those reasons.it isnt 1 sided it goes both ways know a days.i dont want a relationship that is all about sex.there r other things to do in the world besides having sex.javascript:smilie(' ')
javascript:smilie('') | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 2/6/2007 9:41:06 PM | | I guess my point was a lot of men put on other fronts, eventhough thats all they want, so I do give credit to those who are honest. An informed decision is always a better one, don't you agree? | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 2/7/2007 3:53:36 AM |
so I do give credit to those who are honest
Ruthie, again, I think you are patting these guys on the back for acting like being primal beasts. It sounds to be like you would actually CONSIDER sleeping with someone whose ONLY interest in you was to lay you down. What separates YOU from any other woman, in this case? The fact that you are there, and the others are not. Is that even anything to consider? What could the upside possibly be? As attractive as you are, you would have men lining up to sleep with you. Would that flatter you at all? I think not. | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 2/7/2007 8:10:02 AM | | Whoa! You got that all wrong. I certainly did NOT say that I'd sleep with them just for being honest (men really are from mars and women from venus) And, the primal beast is in all of us, some just let it show more than others. The subject line is: WHY CAN'T MEN BE HONEST AND SAY I JUST WANT SEX???? I guess if what you're saying is true, its because some can't even be honest to themselves, due to some cultural/social influence. Since when are we all judges? Heres my philosophy (and judge me as you will): 45 yrs have brought me lots. I know what I want (see post What do women truly want) and I know enough to enjoy EVERY second of every day. In light of this, I go with the flow (my own, that is). If it feels right and good, just do it! This doesn't mean just sex, it refers to all aspects of my life. I am intelligent enough to make informed decisions and only I, have to live with those. I have made plenty of mistakes, learned from them and moved on. A lot of hard knocks have come my way, BUT I can look back on EVERY single thing that happened and say "Its all good". I am comfortable and happy in the skin I am in and had it not been for all the hard knocks (and the good things too), I wouldn't be the person that I am today. So, once again, "IT'S ALL GOOD". Stop judging people and just live your life in your own individual style. Each one of us has our happiness within, ya gotta let it out to shine! Have fun, enjoy the moment and dont' worry what others think. AND, enjoy a good banter now and then! | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:30:53 AM | Reminds me of a story I once heard...
A rich, old codger is at a formal party and sees a lovely young thing. He approaches her and asks, "For $1 million would you have sex with me tonight?". The young lady thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, yes, I guess so."
The old man says, "Would you have sex with me for $5.00?". The lady, indignant, replies, "Certainly not! What do you think I am?".
The man replies," We've already established what you are. We are now haggling about the price." | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:54:18 AM | OK...as long as I am posting for the very first time, ever, anywhere, let me go for a daily double...
I have been chatting online for about seven years now. Not a world record, but it's given me some enlightenment. I have had very good luck in sustaining long-term chat relations with ladies. If I can charm them into saying "Hello", I can usually keep them interested indefinitely. So how does this relate to the thread? Just this...
I really shouldn't reveal this secret, but, for the benefit of my fellow PA males, I'll take the chance. My one, cold, hard fast rule is...NEVER mention or elude to sex until SHE does. No innuendo...no double entendre. DON'T MENTION IT! (In fact, not mentioning her physical appearance below her neck goes a long way, too...but, that's probably another thread.) This simple rule has kept me in good stead with many a tainted female chatter. It's refreshing to her, and she doesn't need to be defensive.
Now, ladies...for the bad news (at least according to the thread's title)...
Before the end of the third chat the lady ALWAYS has mentioned sex. ALWAYS. Let me say that again...al-ways.
So far, that record is intact after 136 of 136 chats.
It's not always men, though we are more apt to bring the subject up first. Stop painting with a broad brush and start judging individuals one at a time. Just as YOU wish to be judged. | |
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| Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:23:07 PM | | Very thoughtful and insightful post, Mark. Also, your heading is quite philosophical. It seems that you are taking the woman's feelings into consideration, and not just looking out for your own self gratification. | |
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