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 Author Thread: When is flirting cheating?
 vapour lock

Joined: 7/27/2007
Msg: 299
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 10/27/2008 1:20:32 PM
I think this poster summed it up best. Flirting borders on cheating when it involves any comment/mannerism/affectation you might have with a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on which way you swing :p) that you would otherwise refrain from doing in the presence of your partner.
 vapour lock

Joined: 7/27/2007
Msg: 300
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 10/27/2008 1:22:04 PM
I think poster (000firefighter) has it in a nutshell. Flirting borders on cheating when it involves any comment/mannerism/affectation you might have with a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on which way you swing :p) that you would otherwise refrain from doing in the presence of your partner. Nuff said.
 dynamitekisser

Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 301
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:40:28 AM
I don't think cheating has ever been defined as solely a physical act... I am sure this has been stated many times before... but when your in a relationship... anything you could not say in front of your significant other is a form of disrespect and unacceptable behavior... Also the tendency to give selective information or omissions are other things that undermine a relationship... If you have to do these things to get you through the day... then instead of saying honey I love you... you might as well say... Honey, I want to "F" you until someone better comes along...
 deweylips

Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 302
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:33:05 AM
It does hurt. My husband and I went to marriage counseling over it. He was at their homes while i worked. Or on the phone . Caught him telling her he Loved her. (and thats after counseling ) After that ? I just stay because of financial reasons.. I'm done trying after 41 years. Can't trust a man even after he swears he does nothing wrong.
Guess he sees it as innocent.. But it certainly hurts, and stays with a woman a very long time
So depends on who you ask. Men that think its ok ? Or Ladies saying been their ..Done !
I am with some others on here. If your happy with whom your with ?? Why the need to flirt ? Or on a site like this ?
 baseballboy

Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 303
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:39:19 AM
I certainly would not think so, given that women who are taken have flirted with me, and I hardly go home feeling like I've done something sinful.

Adultery is not a term that should be used carelessly. The Bible calls it a sin for anyone involved.
 Captain Incognito

Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 304
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:57:03 AM
I think it comes down to intent. People like to get compliments. If your just flirting to give someone a compliment and make them feel good, I see no harm in it. If you are doing to kind of feel out how the other person responds in the hopes of more happening, then that's wrong.
 tallastrees

Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 305
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:15:37 AM
My ex used to flirt and say it was part of him. Only when I caught him whispering into some young poppets ear I got niggly. Then last resort was him feeling up a young lady's bottom - give her due - she yelled at him to remove his hand.

I would say flirting can lead to more dangerous waters - innocent stuff is ok - but when it gets letcherous - hmm - no way
 Sunshine-99

Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 306
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:26:12 AM
Flerting usually means that all of your physical and emotional needs aren't being met in your current relationship and you need to go somewhere else to satisfy them.

So if you had truly had a perfect, awlsome partner of a woman - Would you be mad if she was flerting with other men behind your back?
 EST74

Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 307
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:53:12 AM
For me it's simple, flirting becomes cheating if it's anything you can't do with your lady around. Otherwise if I'm involved with a woman it means I respect her and I wouldn't do anything away from her that would be deemed disrespectful.
 Fa que

Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 308
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:54:30 AM
When it is a direct attempt to engage the other in something beyond a healthy and normal platonic interaction.
 NuDig

Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 309
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:36:14 AM
Unbelievable some of the comments, people actually defending the practice of flirting whilst in a relationship. It's totally unacceptable, it IS a form of cheating, is IS disrespectful and it ****ing hurts!

Some people are never satisfied, doesn't matter how much attention and adoration they receive from their significant other it's never enough.
 Serenity Sam

Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 310
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:16:05 AM
Being cognative of your flirting you recognize it. Dont lead anyone on, ie. sexual in nature otherwise you have taken the wrong fork in the road.
 HanDynasty

Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 311
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:53:44 PM

When is flirting cheating?


When you do something that you can't tell your partner or you won't do in front of your partner.

I disagree with the intention argument. Thoughts don't define a man, action does.
 verityone

Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 312
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:29:41 PM

I tend to think that if you do something that you wouldn't do if your SO was standing there, it's probably not right.

+1

The only "flirting" I'd ever "do" , or allow towards me (while I'm in a relationship) would be so benign that my SO wouldn't even bat an eyelash at, if she was right there.

To argue that flirting is not "cheating" is purely playing semantics.

Flirting is a betrayal. It means that you do not place enough value on your relationship that you would toy with the sense of exclusivity and sacredness that should exist between a couple.

If the intimacy and attention your SO provides is not enough, either you're in the wrong relationship, or you're an attention whore with a gluttonous ego.
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:35:46 PM

If the intimacy and attention your SO provides is not enough, either you're in the wrong relationship, or you're an attention whore with a gluttonous ego.


I don't know about being an ego-maniacal attention whore, but Moose quite proud face on quarter. You on any money, V.1?



Hey, Margo! You gonna let him call me that just cuz I flirt?
 FluffyBrain

Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 314
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:41:13 PM
op, it's a slippery slope... whatever it is, it's not good for a relationship...whether ego, or serious, or whatever.............
 ItsMargo

Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 315
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:46:07 PM
Eh Verity, you'd have to decode the female language in order to get flirting, lol *wink*

Ohhh DBB, he's just jealous. Don't sweat it; it'll just release pheromones.
 Belle Lass

Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 316
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:49:27 PM

If the intimacy and attention your SO provides is not enough, either you're in the wrong relationship, or you're an attention whore with a gluttonous ego.


Gasp! I think this is the funniest thing I have heard yet!
My ego must be the size of a 1965 Cadillac's gas tank..and the gluttonous thing constantly needs refilling. I am looking at used EGO lots to see if I can find a more economical model.
My S/O read this and I asked him if this was a problem. He laughed his head off, too.
(Oooops...back in a minute...his head is rolling out the door....still laughing.)
There is nothing wrong with harmless banter and a bit of benign flirting.
I am very well aware of my boundaries.
 Ependa

Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 317
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:57:55 PM
I don't think it is cheating..but I think it is poison to a relationship and complete bs (sawry...to each their own , of course). I think that what y0u pay attention to flourishes..if you have an affair, are a work a holic, get your rockss off or an ego boost from online or in person flirting..whatever..it doesn't have to be "cheating" to be detrimental to your relationship. What you pay attention to flourishes. Just ask yourself what it is you actually want; begin with the end in mind.
 ArsenicAndOldLace

Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 318
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:11:25 PM
Flirting online when you have an SO is wrong because it is a matter of trust. No biggie if you are not in a committed relationship. If you get caught, that person will always be wondering if you are actually cheating. There is also the feeling, to the woman, that you will eventually meet somehow and end up breaking up with you because she thinks that you have gone way beyond
 Margo64

Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 319
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:29:24 PM
Im a flirt and it's that simple. I am finally in a relationship where I am totally happy and satisfied. It's about time. I even met him here on POF. Will I stop flirting? NO.
That will mean killing part of my personality. Will I hurt my new bo in the process? I hope not because we both understand this is the INTERNET and we choose not to get jealous over it. It is all in harmless fun. What is real is what we are creating together.
We are secure enough with one another to understand it's NOT a trust issue. Shoot. If he wants my passwords to all the sites I get on I'll be happy to give them to him. He knows I'm happy with HIM getting in my pants and that's all that matters.
 ZenBeth

Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 320
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:34:02 PM
Flirting is wrong if you haven't shared with your SO that you do it. Now I have polyamory or open relationship friends who have ground rules, which spell out the lines that cannot be crossed.So if you are flirting online and it becomes cyber sex or phone sex and your SO agrees this is ok, then fine. But if not, it denotes a bigger problem than needs addressed.

Its the conservative or religious types who preach something they then don't practice that I want to chew out. Because I so hate hypocrites.

~Beth~
 Whoopty Dew

Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 321
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:03:11 PM
Your thread is BS.Grow up.
 Margo64

Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 322
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:56:02 PM
Your right; I do like the attention and admit it. The difference is I don't have anything to hide. I don't believe I am "The Worst" because I am a harmless flirt. I don't go around offending people. It's all in good clean AMERICAN fun.
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