| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 1:08:11 PM | When is cheating flirting? No clue.
But consider this....you really learn a lot about where you are in life, by the quality of people that flirt with you. I was in a store the other day, and a really entirely unattractive, unkept, disshevled woman began flirting with me. I was horrified.
Have I really fallen so far that THIS is the kind of person that would think she should be flirting with me?
So, needless to say, I went directly to the gym and began doing crunches. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 1:10:08 PM | ^^^^ Too funny 
Flirting is cheating when you act on it...when it becomes more than words. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 1:15:52 PM | Yes I agree with most on here all you married men GET OFF here as has been said there are enough pervs and idiots to get through before you meet a nice guy. I will say I have met nice guys on here so I know and already realised you guys are not all the same. But then you appriciate the nice guys when they come along.
Back to the flirting thing :- Yes on here and maried/in a LT relationship a NO NO. But if you are out I would say NO to any thing from sexual chat because that leads to touching , kissing need I go on.
When you find some one you should be happy with them, love them and not want for more. If your relstionship is so bad you are lookin WHY are you in it or WHY arent you at home trying to sort out the issues.
Looking for a bit on the side is a cover up of underlying issues and flirting whenit gets to much touching, kissing etc use your imagination is an ego boost as well [ we have all done it and it feels good at the time but bet you feel like sh*t in the morning if you go to far}
So I would say be happy [if you are if not sort it out] with the love you have. There are not many decent people out there so hold on to the one you have. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 1:33:07 PM |
When does flirting count as cheating?
When you break a vow or a promise. If you are not married and have made no explicit promise of fidelity, it is technically impossible to "cheat" as there is no obligation of fidelity outside of marriage unless you have given your word. If you have made no such promise, there can be no such expectation. Other people's opinions notwithstanding.
If you aren't married, have made no promises, but have lived together for 10 years in a location that has no "common law" marriage statute, then you are two single individuals who can do as you please. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 2:19:24 PM | nocalsingledad ~
i completely disagree with you.
if you are in a committed relationship, i.e., you have agreed to be exclusive, and are NOT dating other people... then it is wrong to be sitting online chatting with other women/men and flirting with them. it is wrong.
why? because you would be transgressing against the agreements made between the two of you. just because you aren't married doesn't give you the right to go and do whatever you want to do, unless you have an OPEN relationship and BOTH parties know this and it is agreed upon from the start.
what question needs to be asked is this:
how would you feel if someone did this behind YOUR back?
and also,
how would this make my partner feel if he/she read all of my im's or emails to this other person?
would it hurt them?
if you answer yes to any of the above questions then maybe you should re-think your actions. if you can't do it in front of your mate without them getting hurt and angry then its a violation of the boundries of the relationship.
what you aren't taking into consideration is the other person's feelings.
lara | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 3:47:52 PM | You are so right. I have been hurt so many times because the one I have been with cannot give up the flirting on the dating websites. He says he is committed but he continues to be on these sites to "keep in touch with his friends". Why doesn't he just give them his e-mail address? I think if you are on a dating website you are looking for something more then just a friend. But that is only my point of view.
And it does Hurt because then you know he is just not into you. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 4:00:29 PM | Lara, maybe you misread my posting. You said:
i.e., you have agreed to be exclusive
The agreement is the key. I said that if you have not made an agreement ... a promise, given your word ... then there is no default expectation of fidelity outside of marriage.
If you have agreed to be exclusive then you break the agreement the moment you have sex with another unless you have defined "exclusive" in even more restrictive terms in your agreement.
You are not disagreeing with me, you just said the same thing I did.
But as far as the other person's "feelings", a person can not live their life in accordance to how someone else feels about it. That can lead one to being manipulated or being placed in a very unhealthy situation if they are ever in a relationship with someone who can not properly regulate their emotions. It makes sense when you are in a relationship with a healthy, well-balanced, emotionally regulated person but not when you are (as I once found myself) in a relationship with a person whose emotional response and "feelings" are different than one might normally expect them to be.
A person feels what they feel. I am not going to do one action or a different action in order to change how they feel. That is called "walking on eggshells". Sure, you can take feelings into consideration but you can't be ruled by someone else's feelings. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 4:29:38 PM | | Honestly you have to ask yourself what would you feel like if you found out she was doing the same thing..........if she dosen't know at all that you do this then why are you doing it. Men flirt and so do women if you hide it from her I think deep down you feel like you are cheating. I think you should put yourself in her shoes then take it from there.....there is an old saying when guys do it we are considerd studs if a woman does it she is a trap.....a double standard dosen't make it hurt any less when the truth comes out....treat her the way you want to be treated and hope all works out for you and her | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 3:30:10 AM | | Flirting is cheating when you spend time focussing your attention on someone else other than your supposed partner. It is cheating when the other partner is kept in the dark about it, when you are leading a "double life" whether online or not, when you look him/her in the eye and deny there is anything to it, when intimate details are shared, when phone numbers are exchanged, emails written, IMs sent, when your supposed partner spends less and less time in your heart and mind because of any or all the above.... need i go on? | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 3:46:01 AM | I'm a notorious flirt. It's just part of who I am. I've dumped a whole lot of weight this year, and so I guess it goes over much better now when I do flirt, but it sure didn't stop me 90 lb s ago.
Flirting can be interpreted many different ways, not necessarily with cheating as the end result. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 3:51:33 AM | cheating is cheating, we all know what that is. I think your question is really, when does flirting cross the line. Let your moral conscience be your guide. And if it's faulty, fix it. When someone says "well, it just happened", thats a cop out. There is a reason in many religions the expression "do unto others as you would have done unto you" (or something like that) exists.
we all know what is right and what is wrong and we make our own choices. That is called "free will" (not free willy). | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:40:09 AM | This is the best answer I've read in the thread:
" how would this make my partner feel...? "
Regardless of what "arrangement" you may have with your partner, and whether or not you have actually spoken/made any promises or vows of exclusivity...if you haven't taken into consideration how s/he would feel about your actions with someone else, then even if you aren't actually "cheating" you might as well be. What kind of a relationship can that be, if you don't even care whether your self-centered fun might hurt your S/O?
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her" is the oldest excuse in the world for starting down the slippery slope of deceit.... though it can be just as bad if it's right in front of him/her, and you obviously don't care whether it hurts. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:46:09 AM | | I don't think flirting is necessarily cheating. I think cheating is deliberately and with clear knowledge of the wrongness of the action you are doing, having intimacy in a way with another person which your partner and yourself would both judge as cheating. If someone attractive flirts with you and you respond by paying attention, or feeling flattered, I don't think that is cheating, but responding by going off and having sex with them in secret without your partner's knowledge is certainly cheating. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:53:04 AM | | Well I find that is usaully an act when people need a bigger stage ..They are quite insecure if they so much more then the one they love.If they go on to see who will enjoy them on a relationship site and have a significant other yes I find it is cheating..Absolutely...get real be true to them and to you,get off lline and put all your energy into the present relationship or dont even start one. LV | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:54:26 AM | | I disagree it gives the wrong signal to people and could mess there heads up especially if you already in a relationship.Talk is no longer cheap!L | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 11:11:38 AM | | When is flirting cheating? When you hide it from your partner! If you are not doing anything wrong you wouldn't be hiding it. | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 11:41:09 AM | Well said, if what you do, is not what you would want your partner doing, then consider it cheating. I'm single so flirting is fine, yet if I have a partner, then I should be fliting with him. Mmmmmmmmmm that would be nice.   | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 11:49:05 AM | I agree.... if you are hiding the fact that you are flirting with someone, it becomes a bigger issue. It in fact become constantly lying to your partner.
If you are writing back and forth and deleting your emails to cover your tracks.... it is cheating. It might not be as serious as actually going on dates but I firmly believe that eventually one will lead to the other.
It starts out innocent... just having fun enjoying the attention but you are hiding it from your partner. Then after you become comfortable with it because you haven't gotten caught just yet.... you will eventually justify meeting these people. Again to you it's all innocent.... it's not like you are going to sleep with them when you meet them for coffee or drinks.
I feel if you are one who likes to flirt..... you should be up front and honest with your partner. The should know your passwords for example and you should not be deleting your messages.
If they feel the need to check up on what you are doing.... there is a problem there....
If you are keeping them completely in the dark.... trust me.... I can tell you first hand it will bite you in the ass! Sooner or later you will flirt with someone who you have no idea knows your partner and it will blow up in your face when you eventually meet somewhere and discover..... holy crap they know each other..... | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 11:58:21 AM | An emotional affair is an affair. Period.
Looking for support or "strokes" from someone outside your relationship. ..Wrong.  | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 5:19:39 PM | Op, how can you even use the word "permanent" and flirting with others in the same statement ??? I think you need to take a good look inside.. ya know theres a golden rule out there and it should apply to relationships too..." treat others as you would like to be treated" How would you feel finding out your partner is flirting with others online ???
Been there, done that one.. she called it needing to feel attractive and I guess I got blamed for that.. but the fact still remained, is it innocent flirting when the other person asks to come over and see tanlines when the kids go to bed ??? is it innocent flirting when someone asks do I have a chance or am I wasting my time ? I dont think so... and yes it hurt alot to find it out.. I dont think theres room to flirt when you use the word love or permanent | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 5:23:39 PM | When you follow though with it. I flirt with my customers all the time but I will never do anything more, professional ethics.
Doc Sage  | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 5:25:48 PM | What's going on in your mind when you flirt with these other woman?
How far are you taking it?
You sound like a Mr. Ego who is keeping his woman in the dark....maybe YOU should step into the light, hmmm? | |
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| When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2008 5:26:03 PM | | If a guy does something with a girl that he would NOT do if I was in the room too, he's cheating | |
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