| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:03:32 AM | | I barely have the time to walk to Marks and Spencers to pick up some milk and bread, let alone make time for two relationships! Definitely requires skills of time management, lol. I'd also feel too guilty, and completely confuse things I'd done or said between the two. | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 11/22/2006 9:38:45 AM | I know it's not for me, I like to focus on one person and get to know them instead of constantly comparing them to the other girl I'm seeing. I can't do that if I'm dating more than one person so I don't bother trying.
To each their own, if a person is comfortable with it and they're not sleeping with each date, I don't see that it's a problem. Eventually I would hope to be let in on the news, if there is a 3rd or 4th date, and a spark, I would want to know that I'm just one of a couple guys that she's at that point with.
As someone else mentioned I don't see how you have time to do that. Between work, fun activities, friends and family, I know I would not have time to date multiple women. I am wondering who does haha.
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 11/22/2006 10:37:08 AM | Technically, unless 2 people have explicitly agreed to see only one another, there is nothing wrong with DATING more than one person. If sex is involved, or the "you & I" seems to be turning into a "we", then you need to have a discussion.
As a completely practical matter, I'd say your social life is YOUR business. But I don't recommend taking extreme steps to CONCEAL or LIE about other persons you may be dating. Keep in mind that one or more of your dating partners may react unpleasantly or irrationally to the discovery that they are not "the only one".
As someone else mentioned, don't be talking up your dates with one dating partner while in the company of another. That is just tacky.
Cindy O | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 11/22/2006 11:49:23 AM | | I was dating two girls at once for about 3 months. Both girls new about the other and nothing was kept secret. Relationships take work and two take alot more. The biggest problem is eventually you have to choose just one. Thats going to cause problems. The one I left ended up stalking me and just couldnt let go. I had to change my phone number and move. Im sure not all situations are like this but I wouldnt suggest a poly relationship. As far as the guilty feeling goes if your honest two everyone there shouldnt be any guilty feelings. | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 11/22/2006 5:20:33 PM | | Dating more than one woman at a time? No way! Never had and never will. I'd feel like I was cheating on both. Plus, I'm the kind of guy that only wants to give my full attention to only one. It's a loyalty thing with me. | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:04:20 PM | It's one thing to date more than one person if you're just going out on first or even second dates, seeing who you hit it off with and who you don't. It's another thing if you've been seeing someone beyond a a few dates and you think there is potential for something lasting.
This is no different than talking to several people online, trying to find out if you are interested in meeting or not. I know of almost no one who won't talk to anyone who is interested just because they are talking with someone else. However, once you start seeing someone on a continual basis, and are developing feelings for them/starting to become intimate with them you should have narrowed it down just to them.
I wouldn't expect a guy to not go out on a date with someone just because he went out on one or two dates with me. That said, I would want us to be mutually exclusive before we started to get intimate.
The best approach in this is to know what the other person's thoughts are on this matter BEFORE going out with them. That way you both can know how each other feels about dating, and when things should become exclusive. | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:24:43 PM | | I used to wonder this very thing myself. I don't see the benefit of being committed to a person thaqt 1) does not satisfy your needs and 2) leaves needs unmet that you desire to rely on someone else to fulfill. Until you do find him-- the one worth accepting and leaving all else for, you're obligation is to your own happiness. Delight in all your options. No shame in that at all. | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:34:25 PM | | I only multi-date when I am not "serious" about any one of them in particular. This usually means it is pretty early in the progression of getting to know them - but not always. I have never felt guilty about it, but I also have never felt honor-bound to discuss it. I am pretty honest in my relationships and nobody has ever thought we were exclusive when we weren't. | |
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ubisir
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Joined: 10/5/2009
Msg: 40 | |
| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:11:47 AM | | I think your reply is most sensible. I've been contacted by three ladies soon after joining, and I've set up three "meet and greet's" just to get beyond the 0nline stage and see if any one of them is interested in ME. Everyone is a little wary at first, that's natural. Should one of us pairs hit it off well, then I would immediately go exclusive. I don't expect anything to go beyond a friendly stage that quickly anyway, and I would hate to cause hurt feelings over it, but that's the risk taken in this ventrue, and as the phrase goes, the are plenty more fish in the sea! I don't pretend to be the be-all and end-all of manhood! Also, it's very likely none of them will want to pursue anything further, so until that time, best to keep your options open. | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:04:31 AM | As someone else mentioned I don't see how you have time to do that. Between work, fun activities, friends and family, I know I would not have time to date multiple men. I am wondering who does haha.
In my opinion, and it's just an opinion, it seems to me the men/women who have time to multidate are usually the ones that want/need the excitement of the newness of seeing someone new. And sometimes it can be because they are afraid to get involved in a long term relationship with just one because of the pain they went through from past broken relationships. | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 10/24/2009 3:06:05 PM | | I talk to one woman at a time on here. I date one woman at a time. I like to have several dates in the first two weeks and pretty much open myself up to her as to who I am, where I come from and what I am looking for. If there is nothing there I am out in less than two weeks. I don't want to hurt someone's feelings so I date one at a time until I feel or we both feel there is no chance and then I move on. | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:23:42 PM | | I struggle with this as well... not the guilty part, but dating several men at once. It's exhausting! Dating doesn't mean sleeping with them... it means casually going out and getting to know each without getting really involved with any one. The experts say this is really the only way to weed out the losers and pick up on any red flags. It is difficult to do though... | |
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| Dating more than one at a time..... never done it before!!
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:27:18 PM | what in the world!? why on earth would you feel guilty if you're only dating? a girl should date as many as she can handle - but 3 is the minimum -
a pair & a spare
that way, even in a flu epidemic, you have a date on saturday night :)
you know what you call a guy you see EVERY night? HUSBAND
have fun, girl and good luck | |
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