| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 10/15/2006 12:01:55 PM | Armyguy35 you look just fine in your picture!
I don't understand what the fuss is all about. meet them if you are not attracted then move on. Be nice to one another!!!! | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 10/15/2006 2:07:05 PM |
It depends ... did the person ask for your honesty, or for you to give them your honest opinion? If so, then they asked for it.
Lesson #1 - don't ask for things unless you are ready on every level to accept it.
I think butterfly addresses the real point of the thread here. It goes beyond the issue of whether one should be honest in relationships.... | |
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viszyl
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Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 53 | |
| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 10/16/2006 12:37:13 PM | I think you should be honest.
If people lie or mislead you, tell them off!!!
I'm also tired of all these fakes and liars! | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 6/23/2007 2:18:08 PM | | I would have said "shame on you" and boogied, zooooooooooooom ! Normally im very caring of others feelings, but when someone is so deceatful, they need a good tongue lashing ! She had alot of nerve... | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 6/23/2007 2:44:40 PM | There is being honest and just plain mean.
I mean you don't meet a lady and afterward say you know you are just too d*amn fat or ugly for me. Honesty is something that should be given tactfully.
I firmly believe in honesty it is only thing going for me. 
I don't believe if someone is dishonest you should jump down their throats either. I have very few words for someone who intentionally deceives me. "I had one rule, just one, don't lie to me. You broke the rule." | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:07:40 PM | I would not think so offensive, but maybe not wise. Some may misinterpret what you mean.  Show some tact, and gentleness. Even if you are offended, state your thoughts without provoking more. | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/23/2007 5:30:45 PM | | Did you try to get to know her? Or did you ask her why her picture didnt represent her? If you're going to try to meet somebody online, communication is important is it not? Maybe the picture WASN"T 12 years old...maybe she just photographs better than she looks....it happens.....but being cruel isnt the answer....just tell her that as nice as she is, you dont think its going to work out....no sense in kicking her in the teeth by being mean...we're all looking for the same thing right? | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/25/2007 12:43:37 AM | The is a difference between honest and mean.
For the OP:
Honest: When did you take the photo in your profile? Or how old are you? And just let them know in a nice way that you prefer someone who posts their real age/recent pics.
Mean: Damn! You are OLD AS HELL! Do you fart dust? Was Jesus alive when you took that photo? You are a damn dirty liar, die! I don't date grammas! | |
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CTR916
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Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 61 | |
| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/25/2007 1:16:17 AM | I tend to agree with this sentiment:
There are many ways to say something honestly without being rude. I have yet to learn them since I usually say the first thing that comes to mind, but if you are worried about hurting a persons feelings, think about all the ways you can say something honestly and choose the nicest way.
Maybe we can create a form of (POF) relationship that includes the benefit of not being overly judgmental when meeting fellow POFers. We could even call it, a POF relationship, with benefits. | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/25/2007 3:42:05 PM | I simply don't get understand why someone would put really old pics on their profile if they are actually wanting to meet people.
I once drove 12 hours to meet someone who called me when I was an hour away to tell me his pic was fake! At that point I continued the drive to the motel I had booked. I did meet him but discovered that he had simply lied about EVERYTHING. Amazingly enough he was a real con artist - he had pics of someone "normal" that he had sent me that looked like they backed his story of being a nurse. That wasn't true either.
As you all can see my photos are real! Not very flattering, show me being overweight etc. Yeah I could have posted headshots, or glamour shots or pics from 5 years ago when I was smaller but what would be the point?
I prize people being honest - and yes there can certainly be tact involved! | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/25/2007 5:01:53 PM | | I will take and keep a person in my life who is blunt (overly honest). I will not accept a person in my life who tells little white lies for the sake of not-offending me. In a social situation white-lies are necessary. They are even necessary in a work situation to preserve the tranquility of everyone, except when a supervisor needs to speak bluntly to an employee to protect other employees or the business. I prefer bluntness even though it may hurt my feelings from my loved ones. YES, it does hurt, but an overly honest relationship will be more successful than one that avoids the truth. | |
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CTR916
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Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 64 | |
| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/25/2007 6:09:59 PM | | I think women should not be overly judgmental on us guys, when we ask if we can call them when we want to get laid. It may just be a habit, from a previous relationship. | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/25/2007 6:53:07 PM | I find it offensive to be overly lying..it is offensive to be a liar. It is not offensive to be honest. You have to be careful how honest with certain people. Honest is better. What are you hiding.? The need to feel dishonest. I would not want to date or raise this type.
I tell kids its better to be honest then branded a liar.
I would also say this is more a subject of..as mentioned before honesty vs. tact.
The world can be cruel enough...sometimes a person can live without knowing your just not that into them. | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/26/2007 8:13:48 PM | The term "offensive" has to do with the Delivery of this honesty. Honesty is always best, but it's all in the Delivery.
I could tell you that you stink and should take more showers....or....buy you a gift box of soap & cologne, and invite myself to shower with you...
A silly example I know, but you get the point. | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/26/2007 11:59:55 PM | | Cooky, ix-nay on the ig-bay boo-tay... I'm trying to score a gift box of soap & cologne, and a shower with a long cool fishette. | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/27/2007 1:02:32 AM | i don't understand how someone in their right mind with intention to meet someone would lie about their pics, knowing full well that they would be caught immediately upon meeting? do they really think they will get away with it or look the same as 12 years ago? on the other hand, many lie about their age and looking younger, will get away with it. i did that the first few months when i first started to date again because i thought i would get ruled out with the pre-set age ranges on another site that were in five year increments.
but, then i felt bad as a liar and not wanting to start a relationship that way (in turn being doubted about everything i said in the future) , so i told the one person i actually got to know by email, when i actually met him, once i got my foot into the door, that i lied. then after a few months, i just said screw it! i put down my age and met my manfriend on another site immediately. my pictures, however, were always honest, probably because i could not stand the rejection if they were not.
as to the man i lied to, he was very forgiving. i suppose becuse he lied about smoking which i can not physically tolerate with my lymes, and now i believe he lied about his age and G-d knows what else. he was a good looking guy, great personality, good dancer. he did not have to lie either and he should find someone else who smokes . but i think his lying went way deeper. i'm glad i stopped seeing him. maybe he was married as well, who knows. see, once you discover a lie or two, you being to doubt it all.
as to being honest. be clear beforehand, if they are that full of it, just move on. not worth your energy and it is a hazzard of any type of blind dating. but do pursue, assuming you yourself are legit? or are you really talking about yourself being the dishonest one? if you are sincere, it's a numbers game. some of us are good at weeding out online. others need to meet and weed. ah, but the roses are worth it!  | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 8/27/2007 4:17:09 AM | Honestly Sock...I can smell 'ya from there. Didn't want to say anything, but...
Do you prefer Old Spice? Or I think I have an old bottle of Hi Karate! | |
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| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 9/1/2007 2:31:35 PM | Honesty is always a good thing. However, it can be offensive to be "overly" honest.
In my experience, people who are "just being honest" are often expressing an opinion without regard for the feeling's of another. They hide behind the veneer of "honesty" to both justify their insensitivity and disown the consequences of what they've said.
There is something to be said about tact. | |
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CTR916
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Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 74 | |
| Is it offensive to be overly honest?
Posted: 9/1/2007 3:29:14 PM | | I think it is more offensive, to give an "honest" opinion that is full of fallacy, than to give an honest opinion that is not full of fallacy. | |
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