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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/4/2006 7:23:02 PM | Anything but jeans and a t-shirt isn't formal, Geoffre. "Formal" dress is something completely different from casual, no jeans. That's why I asked Sylvain to define exactly what he expects people to wear.
Sample definitions from About.com (http://fashion.about.com/cs/glossary/a/partydefinition.htm):
Black Tie means formal. Men wear tuxedos, women wear c o c ktail dresses, long dresses or dressy evening separates.
White Tie means ultra-formal. Men wear full dress, with white tie, vest, shirt. Women wear long gowns.
Formal usually means the same as Black Tie, but in some trendier cities like New York or Los Angeles, it could mean a black shirt, no tie with a tux. Women wear c*cktail dresses, long dresses or dressy evening separates.
Ultra-formal means White Tie. Men wear full dress, with white tie, vest, shirt. Women wear long gowns.
Black Tie Optional means you have the option of wearing a tuxedo, but it should clue you into the formality of the event, meaning a dark suit and tie would be your other option. Women wear c*ktail dresses, long dresses or dressy evening separates.
PS: I'm an adult, dress as an adult all the time, but I've never been to a soiree of any kind. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/5/2006 2:41:52 AM | | lol well trust me Im a event pofer and well just dress to look nice mean formal aka clean, and plz dont refer to te definitions, thats just scary, we aint into the glossary. and well tuxedos my ass, lol we arent all rich so really much just dress like your going to a funeral or a after wedding reception lol | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/5/2006 3:56:31 AM | I've been to a number of PoF events as well, Geoffre. I plan to be at the Sept. 10th coffee chat, too.
That's precisely why I asked that Sylvain define what he means by formal dress.
I don't own a ballgown or c*cktail dress either, and I think that people can look just fine without spending $1000s on their clothes. Personally, clean and tidy, with clean hands and fingernails, would suit me just fine.
Although you may not want to refer to the definitions, stating "formal" as the dress code for an event has a specific meaning for many of us who are in our 40s and above. It doesn't just mean "dress nice" or "no jeans".
If all he means is "dress nice" and "no jeans", then that's what should be stated. Calling an event formal may turn off some people just because they don't believe that they have suitable clothes. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/5/2006 4:18:36 AM | RE: Fall Ball: No toxedos will be necessary at the Fall Ball. I would like the men to wear suits, but nothing fancy. We have to re-create a certain environment that shows that we care enough to be our best and to dress our best(as much as we can afford). This will be the last mega event I will be organizing for 2006. The purpose of the ball is to try to create an environment that attracts those seeking meaningful and permanent relationships. The details of the Ball are now being worked out. An anouncement will be made at one of our Sunday meetings as to the date, location and program.
See you all this Sunday at 2:00 PM, NOTat 3:00 PM. Those who do not come at 2:00 PM risk missing the group if we have to walk over to Montanna`s, or at another location if Montanna`s is too full. Please keep this in mind.
Thank you all in advance:
Sylvain
Please remember:
-Our meetings are for singles only, the only couples who can attend are couples who met at our events -Our events attract those who are interested in building meaningful or permanent friendships -Our events are for adults of all age ranges, from 20 - 120 -Our events eventually hope to attract Professionals With Disabilities -Prepare your 30-second group introduction -Wear something black, IF you have something black -Contact me before Friday, if you have anyquestions about the Sunday event -Please contact me if you have any questions about the Fall Ball, ar ask them on Sunday -Feel free to invite other single friends you may have since there is plenty of room available
P.S. People with disabilities have no virtuall singles site in Ottawa. They love to party and mingle just like any of us. I strongly encourage anyone who knows people with mobility impairments, visual or auditory impairiments, to ask these people to contact me directly, so I can invite them personally to attend all my socials. One thing these people are not, is boring! | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/5/2006 6:45:32 AM | Thank you for clarifying the issue of what to wear to the Fall Ball, Sylvain.
Suits make more sense than tuxes - and I'm sure that someone wearing a nice sport jacket wouldn't be turned away either. Ladies have more flexibility - we can choose between dress pants or a variety of dress styles. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/5/2006 2:18:01 PM | Alternatively: Here is a suggestion from a new member to this forum:
"I have a suggestion ... what about having an informal seminar on "What a Woman Wants" and another on "What a Man Wants". My suggestion is that you ask 3 women, each representing different generations, to form a panel and briefly describe "What a Woman Wants". Questions from the audience would be at the end. This presentation would be aimed at men.
The second panel (on a different day) of 3 men of different age ranges, would discuss "What a Man Wants". Target audience is obviously women.
Each panel presenter could talk for about 10 minutes ... total time would be one hour plus however long the questions lasted."
Are there any takers for this suggestion?
Thank you for your suggestion T. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/5/2006 6:23:18 PM | Hey do you guys really what to know what a woman thinks?!?!?! Watch out!!! Message to Loopy, if you need a ride, please message me at Gobrait, my mail settings allow anyone to message me. I am in the west end and can drive you to both the Lonestar party and the coffee chat.
Deb aka Gobrait | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/5/2006 6:23:55 PM | | I think you are going to scare off all the shy people out there (including me). Its like going to a party where you are forced to play those stupid games. Can't people all just sit around and talk to each other without having an agenda? | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/6/2006 7:32:34 AM | "Can't people all just sit around and talk to each other without having an agenda?" -- lipstick1961
I tend to agree. When I first noticed this get together, I got the impression that it was pretty well going to be a simple coffee group thing, and I signed up. Couldn't attend last time, but it's since become apparent that there's a push for it to be something more complicated and demanding, while it still settles in as a regular meet. I'm not talking about the big event, where discussion about that seems to have taken over discussion about the Starbucks/Chapters meets.
This isn't a complaint - some singles might enjoy being more involved and encouraged to stand out (AA meeting style), and that's great - it's not for me, though. Maybe, eventually, something more casual will evolve from the sunday meets, or emerge elsewhere.
All the best with both gatherings cited here, though. I hope everyone who attends has fun and finds good friends there. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/6/2006 8:40:42 AM | It's really no pressure.... I am a bit shy at first too..but see nothing wrong with introducing myself...You could even say..Hi, my name is "so and so", and skip the intro for when you are more comfy....
Loopy :-) | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/6/2006 12:35:27 PM | Actually, in my case, changing my mind about going has nothing at all to with shyness. It has more to do with my not feeling the need to artificially augment my personality (fake being an A-Type extrovert) in order to cater to what this coffee get together seems to be shaping into at this time. That's why I agreed with Lipstick's comments. Isn't sitting and talking and relaxing enjoyable enough, without the organized theatrics?
However, in no way am I suggesting that what's planned should be changed. Maybe I'm completely wrong. Go for it, time will tell. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/6/2006 3:57:16 PM | Let's concentrate on the Coffee Chat this weekend, which is a nice, informal get-together and not as intimidating as it sounds. I've been to them before and I promise you it will be easy. If you have trouble with public speaking, let me know, I will help you. (I'm an old hand at these coffee chats.)
The Fall Ball is another event, still in the planning stages. The dress-up and this and that discussion has to do with it. We'll worry about it later. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/6/2006 6:47:52 PM |
If you have trouble with public speaking, let me know, I will help you.
You're not helping your case here. lol I shouldn't need help to enjoy myself while chatting over coffee. If I go to this thing its to chat one on one with people, not to have a group discussion on what men and women want. We all want something different, there is no real answer to that question. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/6/2006 9:16:50 PM | | ok I guess Jason they missunderstood what she meant, what she meant by a sorta men and women game is more like a who wants to, its like a forum, if I like the topic the people in the forum talk about and I can contribute to it and all and I want to I will, but its not gonna be everymember in the topic, its gonna be the people who are interest to talk about the topic, thats mostly what she means, so if your not interested in doing so, thats just an idea of an activity to do. its not an obligation, because in general we are just going to have coffee and be in good company instead of being in company of shallow , snobby , negative people that you cant even talk to because they think they are all that. so really its just a coffee chat, but I mean for every coffee chat there is always ideas of topics to talk about and well always people who talk to each other, because if you think about it, if we all went for coffee with no idea to what to talk about well wouldnt we look like a bunch of lame idiots, go have coffee with no goals, no topics , no conversation, just a bunch of bodies staring at each other saying hmm what to talk about. so really if you know what to talk about to your fellow pofers well thats great but doesnt mean that others cant plan discussion topics to have with others. everyone to there own will and own discussions. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/7/2006 4:24:43 AM | Stephen: Time will indeed tell what these events will turn out to be. It cannot be all things to all people, however. As long as we keep this conversation alive, it will turn into something that more people want, and more people will want to come back to. As long as the right spirit remains, I will continue to participate in the growth of this event. But this activity is not my job or career. I am doing this for selfish reasons also. I am trying to create the environment that will attract my ideal mate. First we have to create the mood. If I can find my ideal mate as a direct result of my active participation in these events. Then perhaps others may find their soulmates also. The second lesson to be learned I think is that if it works, then perhaps we can all individually create our own forums and events, the environments we believe will attract our own soulmates. Perhaps it may be more effective for us to work on creating this environment together. Perhaps we can, each of us, create mini-enviornments within the Montanna venue. Then we can all meet as one. I don`t know what is best, all I know is that so far the meetings have allowed me to meet and know wonderful people that would have taken me months if I had not created this environment. If we can work together for the Sunday chats, then perhaps we can work together for the Mega Event. We cannot find our soulmates, I believe, we can only attract them by being better and more visible. On the other hand, I may be sitting at an Internet cafe, like I am doing now, and someone could catch my eye and my heart. Who knows where love is?
Sylvain | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/7/2006 5:41:55 AM | Although I'm not entirely comfortable, like Stephen, with the idea of making a "speech" to introduce myself, I do feel that I have to step out of my comfort zone once in a while. Obviously, whatever I have been doing to seek my perfect partner hasn't worked so far as I'm still single.
To me, that means I need to look for new ways to meet people - one of whom may be or may lead me to my perfect partner. Change is always a bit uncomfortable - and a 30 sec. intro really isn't that scary.
The perfect singles meet and greet is one where there are lots of interesting people who actually talk to one another. I prefer to be able to hear the conversations, too, rather than be drowned out by danceable but overload music. | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/7/2006 7:44:04 AM | | lol and as for the speech, lol for godsake a elementary school kid can do it when the teacher asks, ok kids now for the start of a new school year I want you to get up and introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you, " hello my name is steve and I love crackers" , lol wasnt that easy, come on stephen if a elementary school can do it, dont tell me that a kid that age can do it and you cant ? | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/7/2006 9:24:34 AM | By day I am a salesman and I have learned that in business you only have 30 seconds to hold the attention or repsect of someone else. I think our 30 second intro could have more impact than we think on our lives:
Things we can present about ourselves in a 30 second personal infomercial:
Hobbies Work Family Pets Projects (personal development, moving, travel...) Social causes we believe in Meaning of our names Goals in life Jokes on singlehood Favourite singles websites Items to lend, trade or give away Suggestions to improve our get togethers
The choice is up to you, perhaps you can have a different elevator speech for wach event.
By the way, we all usually stand when we deliver our pitch. Few people are comfortable with this at the begining but like everything else in life, we get used to it then we get comfortable with it.
Sylvain | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/7/2006 9:34:59 AM | "But this activity is not my job or career. I am doing this for selfish reasons also. I am trying to create the environment that will attract my ideal mate." -- mnemonist
Hey, all the best with that. I'm definitely not at all trying to seem snide or negative, since I happen to think it's great that there are different types of events being organized. I merely explained my reservations about this one at this time - perhaps I shouldn't have, and let sleeping elementary kids seeking a flame war lay. ah well lol
However, also, one does wonder how long these get togethers of yours will continue, once you've achieved that goal of "seducing" your ideal mate. Will it then become a venture for you? | |
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| OTTAWA UNITED SINGLES COFFEE CHATS, SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH Posted: 9/7/2006 10:18:06 AM | Geoffre: for godsake a elementary school kid can do it when the teacher asks, ok kids now for the start of a new school year I want you to get up and introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you (sorry quotes not working, stupid site)!
Not true Geoffre, a lot of kids worried about having to get up in front of the class, me being one. You loud mouth, outgoing types just don't have a clue! So don't speak of what you don't know. I'd also like an age group for these things. I don't want to meet 20 to 35 year olds. I'm looking to date someone, not babysit them. I think it needs to be broken down. I prefer to stay within 5 years of my own age.
Sorry I'm getting negative here too. But there are just some people who get under your skin just enough to make you write in to a forum!
I hope you all enjoy yourselves. | |
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