| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/29/2006 9:32:49 PM | Kataklysmic,
that happened to my pal actually.
He finally got smart and divorced the evil ****.
She knew he was the best thing to ever happen to her, so she sabotaged all his relationships.
Called them, threatened them etc.
He is the nicest guy imagineable, and every time he met a nice lady the ex ran them off claiming to be the wife.
He finally has gotten it stopped , but took him many years to do so, and he moved to another town 500 kms away to get away from the psycho ****. | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/29/2006 9:41:04 PM |
OP, can I have the guy's email please?
I want to learn his tricks. 5 woman and he still has a wife? He must be good in some way. I think I can use a pointer or two from him.
I laughed when I first read that statement then I thought about it, and it makes perfect sense.
This guy who has been with five women, knows what he is doing and does it well apparently, and shows no signs of slowing down.
Isn't it a bit odd that a single man is jealous that a married man, is having better success at dating then himself, makes you wonder what makes the "separated/going thru a divorce" person more attractive.
And for his wife to call 5 women shows how much of an idiot she is, he is the one that is cheating why blame the other party.
If she refuses, and continues to ignore what he is doing, then guess what he is going to keep doing it.
I think he lives at "home".....and got caught.....cause he disappeared off POF on Sat.
In the world of dating there's plenty of deception, but sometimes the red flags just have to pop up.
I mean if you can't call someone when you want, or don't have their home phone number or you get a beeper number, doesn't that cause an internal alarm.
Do we dismiss it just to be involved in a relationship, or is it something inside of us that overrules normal logic.
I have known some women and even some men, who have been in relationships with someone separated/going thru a divorce, only to have the dream crushed.
The odds are not good, don't get me wrong it does work sometimes, but stepping out of the box and looking inside can make things a lot more clearly also. | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 3:26:04 AM | wanttobyours - the fact is, even if you are not "living" with your wife in the same house, you are still married, and you do NOT have the ability to legally commit to another person until you are legally divorced. As for calling her a cheating **** - hello...you are a married man on a dating site looking for women...pot/kettle - ringing any bells???
For the other poster who said "well, he said his wife was mean, etc.."...what on earth do you expect him to say? she is the most wonderful caring woman in the world??? if a man/woman is looking for an extramarital affair they aren't goign to be "pumping up" their spouses LOL | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 5:28:03 AM |
the guy who cheats, gets caught, cheats again and the wife just pretends it isn't happening?!?! It hurts everyone, the wife and the "girlfriend", kids, everyone--it's never okay.
I stayed in a similar marriage, but did not pretend it wasn't happening. I simply couldn't afford to leave. Finally, I cornered the bastid. I told him plainly "You do this because I have allowed you to do it. Do it once more and I will not put up with it again." It took him nearly a year, but wolves never turn in to sheep. When I caught him again, he got home, I took the car keys, went to the attorney's office and filed. His response? "But honey, you LOVE me!!!!" My response: "You know what? I'll get over that". Of course, I lost everything and me and the kids had to work hard to get it together, but we survived and yep, shoulda done it years sooner. But I do understand these women., and having been one of them, my heart goes out to them. | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 5:38:24 AM | | A further thing to put into place is asking him for his home phone number. If you run into any kind of snag with that then yes, flags should go off. | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 5:40:50 AM | | So true!!! I worry about this to. I guess we have to go with our gut feelings. But men can be charming and we fall for their lies, not all men I hope are like that. If she called you he does this all the time, lucky you found out, how many men do this we do not know about? | |
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MERC01
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 57 | |
| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 8:03:45 AM | Cocoa you say " all the women on here be carefull" What about the men?
My experience was that I dated a women for about 2 months before she up and dissapeared. I had visited her home, work, called her home and cell and work, while we were dating. After 3 months I recieved a call from her hubby. I was not the only guy apperantly; she was seeing a guy who is now in Iraq, dating her boss at the hotel she was working, and seeing me at the same time as well as being married with two kids.
So men decieve eh? I have found women to be more deceptive than men in here, maybe not actualy married, but datring many men at the same time, then they complain about men doing the same? double standards or what??? | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 8:11:37 AM | | Well done! Good for you! If you don't lie, you don't need a good memory. | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 8:38:28 AM | | Just wanted to say, to Tex and Greeneyes, I agree completely, well said! to verygreen, I definitely would have called,a woman has every right to know what'sw going on IN HER MARRIAGE... and I was glad to undo the guys a bit and let the women know it was not ME who was the scumbag, cudos to them for having the ba**s!!!!! and as faras tim3 ...no offense, but your sloppy attitude is why all us good gals are choosing to remain wonderfully single!!! ...p.s. get a clue and some morals on the side...peace :) | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 9:09:10 AM |
and as faras tim3 ...no offense, but your sloppy attitude is why all us good gals are choosing to remain wonderfully single!!! ...p.s. get a clue and some morals on the side...peace :)
ummm...sloppy attitude? Can you explain that?
A clue? Clue me in please....help me out.
Morals on the side? What does that mean? Where in my post does it indicate I don't have any morals?
Enlighten me gynger | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 9:33:06 AM | Wow i can't believe people are taking some ppl's point of view and slamming on them! I am quite sure TIM does not need anyone to stick up for him but I can say from meeting him he is a great guy and has a wonderful view on life! A little more upfront and straightforward than most but really, should u not look for that in a person nowadays with all of the cheaters, abusers etc... out there??? Get a grip and get to know ppl personnaly before u slam them please! Hmmph!
TIM: Don't bother asking more questions as this can easily be made into a flame war! Is it really worth your two cents???
Nightheart: There are lots of snakes out in the real world and it's getting harder and harder to weed through them just keep your head up and your morals good! There are plenty of fish in the sea! | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 9:49:34 AM | I can't understand why separated people are lumped into the same category as lepers, the morally corrupt and sexual predators! With all the crap you guys give them, the 'bad' ones are going to simply mark themselves as 'divorced' to avoid the problem. The fact that anyone is honest and admits that they are separated surpises me now!
If you are scared to deal with a separated person because of your own personal fear, that's your problem, but don't lecture separated people on morality. You don't speak from a position of necessarily knowing "their" specific sitaution. I've met some divorcees a lot more screwed up than some of the separated ladies that I've dated.
In my case, the divorce papers have been filed, we've split up everything, we agree on everything including the kids. I'm simply biding my time until the mandatory 90 day waiting is over and the judge puts his stamp on the papers that are currently on his desk. Emotionally, my relationship was over a long time ago and I'm well adjusted so what's wrong with me wanting to make some new friends as long as I am up front with them?
Still married? Technically. Over with? Definately. Any chance of reconciliation. Never!
Maybe should I sit in my house, alone, for a predetermined "mourning" period to make it look good to everyone else? Sounds more like prison! There's only so many summers and so many winters in one's lifetime and why should I waste any part of them because of a government mandated waiting period?
Yes, separated can mean a lot of things.
Maybe it really should mean "talk to me and decide for yourself if my situation works for you" but don't show me how shallow YOU are by assuming that I am a scumbag just because I was honest.
On the other hand, once my divorce is final, I may leave myself tagged as separated as a way to weed out the shallow ones in the same manner that I currently understate my income.  | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 10:29:16 AM | | tim3...the fact that you even have to ask simply states my point...but since you asked...women are looking for a guy who gives a shit about morality...basically you were saying that noone can be trusted ...married or not, but I beg to differ...I will only think about dating someone who thinks of relationships in terms of monogamy MARRIED OR NOT!!!!!!!!!! Of course, I have been burned by this,as there are so many (males AND females)that are willing to just go ahead and F*** anyone... but if it is true that you reap what you sow, then that is what I am searching for,sopmeone who wouldn't even CONSIDER IT... sad to say it IS like finding a needle in a hay stack to find a man(or woman) with morals... :( ...as far as morals...go back to kindergarden or home, or wherever you should have learned that not honoring a relationship is ok...this, my dear is your issue, not mine...peace, D | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 10:43:53 AM | ^^^
methinks someone is reading between the lines a bit too much and not what was actually posted....
...this moral-less person will refrain from slinging and slagging and leave you to your....beliefs. | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 11:08:24 AM | | well..I have to say I did read your post again, and I just have to say that it is only a reflection of a general opinion that angers me, so I appologize if I was a bit too harsh...suffice it to say though, that if you were to go to Australia, or Canada, or any European country, they would be appalled at the way we treat each other over here....I am referring to the way people simply say, he just wanted to move on, or get over it...I happen to take pride in putting forth every effort in a relationship and I am truly angered when I hear people say well, just get a divorce, or whatever...wedding vows say "till death do us part..." yet people squander the feelings of others as if they were simply bowling partners...not to say that is how you feel, yet the lax attitude towards the fact that others do this and it is ok...THAT is what bothers me,IT IS NOT OK!!!!! Also the fact that not a lot of folks seem to bothered by it...tell me I am not the only one that feels this way!!?? I guess you would have to know more about my story to truly understand, and if you would like to know, simply ask, but I think we as a general population have to stop being so LAZY about our moral standards especially in relationships, also, if you ask the exes if they regret it, and if they lost the love of their life over a quick piece of a**, wonder what they would say???? I am also outraged even more when there are kids involved...they are the ones who get truly heartbroken, and as a parent, it is very hard to sit back and watch them go through it.... :( | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 11:15:48 AM | | Bubba, For you, that is divorce in my opinion, and as I stated, I was separated for years before it was final, only I was honest and told everything up front. I don't mean all who are separated are scumbags...lol...I mean the ones who say it and don't MEAN it...lol...such as the guy who gave me his number and had two kids and a PREGNANT wife at home...now THAT is what I am talking about...I don't think you have to sit around either, if you're truly sincere and want a new relationship, go for it! I am just saying that I am careful and only consider a guy who is separated a friend until 1) I know him a lot better and/or 2)he is truly divorced (court event, not necessarily the 90 days...) also, again, I appologize, but it is the truly ornary guys who have set this precedant for all you nice guys out there, so don't get angry at us, think of what we have been going through...I know you men go through it too...I think it should change...wonder what would happen if cheating were punishable by death like in some countries...we would have slim pickin's left no???...sure would make dating a hell of a lot easier...lol | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 11:20:19 AM | Thank you, Mamasan.
Ditto, from me, Tim. Nothing you said denoted immorality.
Gynger........get down from that soapbox!!!
And quit stating "we" when you are talking about women........
I sure as hell do not want to be generalized to be included in your ranting and raving.
Your antigonistic, argumentative, holier-than-thou attitude is getting on my nerves.
And you have completely lost focus, or have missed the fundamental meaning, of the topic of this forum.
You are dragging through the mud the sincere thoughts of many who have responded in an attempt to turn this into a cat-fight, or a battle of the sexes.
I will not respond to you Gynger.....so don't bother retaliating.
(think she'll listen?)
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 12:36:33 PM | Gynger, perhaps some of your responses have gotten a little away from the initial subject of the OP but For the record, I agree with you about the morality issue. (And i am not slamming anyone or referring to anyone on these postings....) I do see a sad trend that Too many people have become de-sensitized and are not outraged by behavior that is outrageous. I am not passing moral judgement on the OP but as a personal belief and way I choose to live my life...... I belive Seperated is still married and anyone dating a seperated person is opening themselves up to a world of problems. Saying that, I don't think someone in that situation has a right to be offended when it goes bad... you knowingly went out with a married man, seperated or not. I'm not a holyroller by any means but If you took vows in front of God and everyone, if you are dating while still legally married, well heck....aren't you still married under God's eyes??
Maybe it's my upbringing but Geesh, whatever happened to honor and codes of ethics. People really do treat eachother horribly sometimes don't they? Sad | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 12:43:32 PM | "Guys if you are not happy in your marriage, be man enough to let her go so she can find someone who will truly appreciate her."
Um...Not always the man's fault you know..... | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 12:54:50 PM | Soooo... somebody called you, and you have NO CLUE who this person was -- OK, that sounds PURELY MEANINGLESS.
Congratulations! YOU -- have successfully JUMPED TO CONCLUSIONS, without a SHRED of PROOF.
There are plenty of people out there who like to pull pranks, and there are lots of hateful neighbors, co-workers & assorted other SLIME who would do anything to ruin someone else's life... especially if they could HIDE behind some annonymous RUSE like a fake phone call.
There are HUNDREDS of Lemmings who jump off of cliffs every day... without any reason. Try not to be one of them. | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 3:00:48 PM | I know someone who had something similar happen. The wife came to where she worked...7 months pregnant with their fourth child!
She started running background checks on guys she dated. She said it was worth the $50 not to hook up with a loser. | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 3:53:27 PM | | I just got and email from a wife..... of a guy who wrote to me..... 50.00 sounds like a great deal!!!!!! | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 4:43:25 PM | | thats sad,..... his wife should make it so he is telling the truth,....and is seperated! | |
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| ....the wife phoned me!!
Posted: 8/30/2006 5:02:50 PM | | I dated a guy once who asked me over for dinner. While I was at his house, he went to use the restroom, and his phone rang, he asked me to answer it. His ex-wife was on the other end, and cursed at me and said I was having sex with her husband. I knew the guy had been divorced for 2 years, but his ex couldnt let go. After that she called everytime I was visiting, I think she was watching his house. He finally had to have his number changed but I stopped seeing him, because I was afraid she may hurt me! | |
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