|
|
|
|
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 9:28:23 AM | Waspleg,
As far as the lies I told in my profile. I said I was a millionaire seeking a trophy wife. Pretty funny I thought. The truth is, I've now received messages from 18 women, none of them innitiated by me. When they respond to me, generally the first question is "Is this for real?". I try to avoid direct answers so to let them assume whatever they want. Here's the tally of women I met.
18 total
Flat out saying yes to my profile - 7
Would want to get to know me but would most probably say yes - 4
Not interested in the money or marriage, but are interested in me - 4
Vulgar/calling me a loser/etc - 3
The ones that I talk to on a regular basis are the four that show intrest in me and not the money. These girls now know the truth, and we are still talking. It seems like a shallow way to meet women, and it is. But like I said it was just an experiment. Now 1 of the 4 has not talked to me in a while, and 2 of the remaining 3 are not in my area, but the last one is soemone I chat with on MSN almost every night.
I don't recommend using this strategy, as it can get a little overwhelming sometimes. I just wanted to see what would happen. DO NOT USE THIS STRATEGY! I plan on deleting this second user acc ount this Monday after the long weekend. If you may want to lie on your profile, first try lying about what your looking for. You may also be surprised.
Ciao for now,
Joel | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 4:42:09 PM | | Judging by your defensiveness you obviously missed my point. | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 4:50:48 PM | Oh, and I bet you thought a lot about romance in the 1st 10 years of your life...You havent been in the game since birth. Not trying to pick on YOU or make generalizations about ALL women, I can only speak on the vast majority in my personal experiences, and I do. I speak what I feel and know, I DONT hold back, and I give nothin but honesty. Its too much for most people, but hey if its too hot get out the kitchen is my philosophy. No bad intentions here, and didnt mean to offend ya, but Im not gonna lay back and take it you know where just I had the gall to actually say what was on my mind.
Oh, and on the subject of smoking....Being a smoker I know that the majority of us dont enjoy killing ourselves with poison, but its an addiction. Personally, I know that if a really special girl came along that didnt want to date a smoker that would be some GREAT motivation to quit. But Im SURE as hell not going to lie about it in my profile just to attract more women. All Im sayin is it might be a BIG loss to ignore every smoker that messages you. Were not the devil, we just have a problem that you dont like. You dont think somone who really loves you would kick a habit or two for ya? -R | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 4:52:30 PM | | Oh, and isnt doing a little biatching what a testimonial forum is all about? Share your experiences, right? Well, theres mine, and it sucks. | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:20:33 PM | Time to start takign these apart and going paragraph by paragraph; all of you write too much to fit on this tiny screen at work.
[QUOTE]6-7 years. So in 6-7 years of your life, you've expected the woman of your dreams to come along, sweep you off your feet (or vice versa) and live happily ever after? Are you serious? Unfortunately, life does not run on your timeline. I know it's tough to hear, but really, you have no choice in how long it takes. I guess technically speaking, I can say that I've been at this game for the past, oh, 25 years of my life. I've had 2...that's right 2...actual "boyfriends" in my life, and neither relationship lasted longer than 2 months. How's that for longivity?
Not so good, I'm only 25 and I've had two real long term relationships averaging 3 years a piece where I considered myself unofficially married, of course teh ****es in question apparently didn't, one of them was trying to **** around behind my back unsuccessfully (her would-be **** buddies would actually find me on irc/aim/whatever and ask me where she was) that was the end of that one, the other one cheated on me with a girl.. not just any girl.. her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend while he sat there watching them, and she lied to me about it for a few months until "she just couldnt' stand the guilt anymroe" and unloaded it on me; selfishness cubed. So I don't consider longevity the mark of a good relationship anymore, **** being unhappy to please someone else; never again.
Disappointment and heartache are a part of life. It's the whole "live and learn" thing. You'll get through it. Honestly, no woman in her right mind would enter into a relationship with a guy that shows nothing but pessimism. Why would I do that to myself (hypothetically speaking). Maybe this particular medium isn't the way for you go to to find that special person. If you still want to go with it, I'd suggest a more positive outlook, even if it's forced at first. It's hard for any woman to think "hmmm...how about this guy? He seems pissed off! Let's look there!"
i'll go out on a limb here and say that I think most everyone here has been put off by the 'normal' channels of dating or they wouldn't be so persistent with this medium; I for one, am spineless in person, unless the girl makes some kind of overt action like.. i dunno telling me she likes me I have 0 ability to approach anyone, in addition to that I'm an introverted recluse who works 3rd shift because he hates people; this makes meeting someone (specifically someone who I can at least stand much less like) difficult in the extreme. I can fully appreciate teh pessimistic outlook of anyone looking out on the wasteland that is modern society and trying to find someone they want to be with much less raise a kid or two. You look fine to me Nikki, and I'm sure you've been approached a number of times in person, I for one have not; ever, actually once or twice but I was too obtuse to know what was going on and that was in highschool (class of '98, its been awhile). I know that people are classified by gender roles so I've been working on my issues (I have a fear of heights where I can't move my hands and feet physically hurt and I can't talk my mouth gets dry etc, the same thing happens when even THINKING about approaching some girl; even the cashier at ****ing walmart.) to no avail.
And yeah, it may give me a little confidence to know that 7 people put me on their favorites list. I looked at that last night after I'd talked to you. 2 of those 7 actually talked to me and BOTH of them ended up giving me truly horrible comments about my body and making really rude jokes...and we haven't talked since. So yeah, great for the ego there.
i emailed you two easy questions and you ignored me, what does that say?
Seriously, I'm sorry that you haven't gotten any responses. I'm sure you're a great person with lots to give but when every word that comes out of your mouth is some sweeping generalization about all women and how horrible we are, what are you putting forth that would make us WANT to come to you? I've sent out plenty of emails and not gotten back a response. And I didn't say that ANY of it was ANYONE's fault. Just the way it works. [/QUOTE] fresh from reading joel's fake profile post apparently all you (women) want is money, in which case, i give better handjobs anyway.  oh and one last thing, maybe not getting a reponse is agood thing, i was talking to this chick the other night who was desperate to get out of her parents house and seemed nice enough, we're short staffed here I offered her aj ob and a place to stay and she emailed me back saying she hadn't responded becasue she found some sucker to support her from PoF so apparently it works wonders for the 10 women but not the 20,000 guys. --Jon Misanthropic Misogynist  | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:21:29 PM | Time to start takign these apart and going paragraph by paragraph; all of you write too much to fit on this tiny screen at work.
6-7 years. So in 6-7 years of your life, you've expected the woman of your dreams to come along, sweep you off your feet (or vice versa) and live happily ever after? Are you serious? Unfortunately, life does not run on your timeline. I know it's tough to hear, but really, you have no choice in how long it takes. I guess technically speaking, I can say that I've been at this game for the past, oh, 25 years of my life. I've had 2...that's right 2...actual "boyfriends" in my life, and neither relationship lasted longer than 2 months. How's that for longivity?
Not so good, I'm only 25 and I've had two real long term relationships averaging 3 years a piece where I considered myself unofficially married, of course teh ****es in question apparently didn't, one of them was trying to **** around behind my back unsuccessfully (her would-be **** buddies would actually find me on irc/aim/whatever and ask me where she was) that was the end of that one, the other one cheated on me with a girl.. not just any girl.. her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend while he sat there watching them, and she lied to me about it for a few months until "she just couldnt' stand the guilt anymroe" and unloaded it on me; selfishness cubed. So I don't consider longevity the mark of a good relationship anymore, **** being unhappy to please someone else; never again.
Disappointment and heartache are a part of life. It's the whole "live and learn" thing. You'll get through it. Honestly, no woman in her right mind would enter into a relationship with a guy that shows nothing but pessimism. Why would I do that to myself (hypothetically speaking). Maybe this particular medium isn't the way for you go to to find that special person. If you still want to go with it, I'd suggest a more positive outlook, even if it's forced at first. It's hard for any woman to think "hmmm...how about this guy? He seems pissed off! Let's look there!"
i'll go out on a limb here and say that I think most everyone here has been put off by the 'normal' channels of dating or they wouldn't be so persistent with this medium; I for one, am spineless in person, unless the girl makes some kind of overt action like.. i dunno telling me she likes me I have 0 ability to approach anyone, in addition to that I'm an introverted recluse who works 3rd shift because he hates people; this makes meeting someone (specifically someone who I can at least stand much less like) difficult in the extreme. I can fully appreciate teh pessimistic outlook of anyone looking out on the wasteland that is modern society and trying to find someone they want to be with much less raise a kid or two. You look fine to me Nikki, and I'm sure you've been approached a number of times in person, I for one have not; ever, actually once or twice but I was too obtuse to know what was going on and that was in highschool (class of '98, its been awhile). I know that people are classified by gender roles so I've been working on my issues (I have a fear of heights where I can't move my hands and feet physically hurt and I can't talk my mouth gets dry etc, the same thing happens when even THINKING about approaching some girl; even the cashier at ****ing walmart.) to no avail.
And yeah, it may give me a little confidence to know that 7 people put me on their favorites list. I looked at that last night after I'd talked to you. 2 of those 7 actually talked to me and BOTH of them ended up giving me truly horrible comments about my body and making really rude jokes...and we haven't talked since. So yeah, great for the ego there.
i emailed you two easy questions and you ignored me, what does that say?
Seriously, I'm sorry that you haven't gotten any responses. I'm sure you're a great person with lots to give but when every word that comes out of your mouth is some sweeping generalization about all women and how horrible we are, what are you putting forth that would make us WANT to come to you? I've sent out plenty of emails and not gotten back a response. And I didn't say that ANY of it was ANYONE's fault. Just the way it works. [/QUOTE] fresh from reading joel's fake profile post apparently all you (women) want is money, in which case, i give better handjobs anyway. oh and one last thing, maybe not getting a reponse is agood thing, i was talking to this chick the other night who was desperate to get out of her parents house and seemed nice enough, we're short staffed here I offered her aj ob and a place to stay and she emailed me back saying she hadn't responded becasue she found some sucker to support her from PoF so apparently it works wonders for the 10 women but not the 20,000 guys. --Jon Misanthropic Misogynist | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:22:10 PM | | sorry for teh 2x post i tried to edit that first quote, apparently CAPITAL letters **** it up | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:27:47 PM | oh and it gets better, guess who posted a testamonial, bellaluna25 4 posts down from this one is the same dumb ****, she probably just met that guy cause she was falling all over me the other night begging me to add her some yahoolist i don't use. | |
|
nikkiw
|
Joined: 2/23/2005
Msg: 34 | |
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:35:25 PM | Santacide: I could say the same thing about my weight issues that you say about smoking. A LOT of people miss out on some truly wonderful men and women because they don't look past their weight. I'm not saying you're the devil or a bad person because of smoking. I have some friends that smoke. I'm not willing to end a friendship over it (or even consider not being friends with someone initially). But I also know that I'm not willing to kiss an ashtray either. And maybe this is stupid, but I don't want anyone to quit something because of/for me. I think if they want to kick the habit, they have to want it for themselves, not someone else. To kick a habit for someone else *could* end up in resentment which is not something I want in a relationship.
That said...I'm really sorry that I sounded as ****y as I did. I felt like I was being personally attacked for not holding back and saying what I feel. And I still feel the same way. And okay, take out the first 10 years of my life (although I'm sure the cooties game existed before I was 15)...even so. Even if I drop it down to the 6-7 years that you put out there. 6-7 years is possibly a really short time frame in the grand scheme of things. And I know that it's human nature to want someone...to hold someone, to be there for someone and to have someone be there for you. I miss those things. I want them whole-heartedly. But I'm not willing to allow my thoughts on relationships be skewed by a bad round at internet dating (no matter how long it's lasted). Sh*t happens for a reason.
And Joel...I would LOVE to give tips on what girls want. The thing is, it's completely different for all of us!! I love romantics: compliments, well thought dates, stimulating conversation, small touches, letting a woman know that she is beautiful to you, chivelry. Some of my friends are very feminist. They like the romantic aspect with it's just the two of you, but otherwise they want constant intellectual stimulation, they want to go dutch, they want to open doors for themselves to show that they're perfectly capable. I guess what this amounts to is that you really need to show us that you care about who we are and in doing so, you need to ask questions. Be interested in what we like or don't like, let us talk but don't just allow us to ramble. Actually listen. It really is important. Don't generalize all women into one category and assume we all want the same things because it's simply not true. We're a very complex sex in general, but even more complex when you get down to what we feel individually. Know and understand that, and be willing to react differently to different women.
Whew...that was long. I can't seem to make short comments on here! Again, I'm apologizing for my pissiness. I really don't mean to get so adamant about this. It's just hard when I'm playing the same dating game that other people are and I hear nothing but negativity. Yes, it's hard. No one said it would be easy. But is giving up really the only option? Absolutely not. | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:41:14 PM | | why apologize? being pissed off is a legitimate reaction/emotion as much as any other | |
|
nikkiw
|
Joined: 2/23/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:41:47 PM | | waspleg: I haven't responded to you yet because I haven't been at my computer long enough to do so. I just got home from a really long day so I'm just now getting to it. Sorry I'm not running on your timeline (sarcasm, sorry). I'm getting to it, I promise! | |
|
nikkiw
|
Joined: 2/23/2005
Msg: 37 | |
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:43:39 PM | | I'm apologizing because this is an adult conversation. Being pissed off does not mean getting ****y towards people expressing their own opinions. | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:52:11 PM | | you must be english, no one else apologizes so much | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:54:59 PM |
I'm apologizing because this is an adult conversation. Being pissed off does not mean getting ****y towards people expressing their own opinions.
on persons interpretation of ****y isn't necessarily anothers, i've been online long enough that what you said barely strikes me as negative much less ****y; as i'm sitting here on the desk its my job to deal with rude drunk ***holes all night, maybe my skin is thicker | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:56:26 PM | | addendum: its always the rude drunk ***holes who are coming in with chicks from bars to **** and leave btw, so women loving being treated like sh*tis demonstrably true in my case. | |
|
nikkiw
|
Joined: 2/23/2005
Msg: 41 | |
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 10:57:35 PM | | Yeah, I'm fairly over-emotional. It's (one of) my downfalls. I feel bad when people get upset and, though I will still express my opinion, I will do my best to make sure that no one's feelings get hurt and that everyone stays on the same page without getting upset. Peacemaker? Guess so. | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 11:04:20 PM | | that sounds similar to something i read in one of the conversations iwth God books, something to the effect of, you can't be responsible for how someone reacts tos omething you say you can only do your best to send the message clearly in a non-hurtful manner but that betrayal of self is the highest form and not to send the message would be the worst thing of all. (something i agree with but find difficult to practice, i avoid confrontation generally) | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 11:14:42 PM | | Try and imagine it from a guys perspective Nikki. We are the ones who have to do all the work- we have to initiate contact because women never do it first to us (as a matter of principle?) and only to be flatly rejected the majority of times. We are the ones who have to face the most rejection while the women casually pick and choose their favourites. I know there's been a lot of complaining and venting but it is an extremely frustrating experience, so try to have a little sympathy for the guys too. The only frustration women have to go through in the online dating game is putting up with all the guys messaging them who dont fit into their "perfect guy model". | |
|
nikkiw
|
Joined: 2/23/2005
Msg: 44 | |
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/25/2005 11:47:38 PM | But don't guys choose their favorites too? I mean, you obviously wouldn't initiate contact with someone you weren't remotely interested in, right? I understand that it's frustrating because I've been there! Contrary to what seems to be popular belief, women get rejected on dating sites too :) And yeah, maybe it is easier for women than it is for men in some respects, but it can also be just as difficult. My only frustration is not sifting through all of my choices and picking "perfect model guy" from the stack. This is a frustrating game for everyone, not just the guys. All that I'm trying to say in all of this is that you're not alone in being rejected or having a rough go of it. It's not easy for anyone, including those that get tons of messages. I'm sure it would feel good to get more responses than you may be getting but more doesn't mean it's easier.
I guess, though, that my (eternally optimistic, and yes, I'm aware that gets annoying) opinion is that if she rejects you now, it's better than later, right? Isn't it better that you find out that she's not worth YOUR time now? There are some amazing people out there that won't reject you and will give you more than just the time of day...but every minute of every day will have you in it somewhere. Life happens, whether you're going along with it or not. And when that part of your life actually clicks the way that you want it to, nothing will matter anymore. | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/26/2005 12:43:16 AM | i always try to give msyelf the "you've got nothing to lose" pep talk; i mean technically if you get rejected you're jsu tback wehre you started right? but if not you've gained
(i should point out this never works for me and i just smile wanly and go about my day) | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/26/2005 12:44:07 AM | Its not easier for those who get tons of responses compared to those that get practically nothing?? The whole process may still be difficult for everyone, counting all the crap you have to go through but I would still think its easier for those who are actually getting responses...
To be fair, the higher proportion of guys to girls is a big part of the problem in dating sites like this. Too many f..king retarded guys around that keep messaging every hot girl they see, openly asking for sex and without paying attention to the restrictions. They ruin it for all of us. | |
|
| |
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/26/2005 5:29:32 AM | | The other thing that makes this experience of finding someone online quite annoying is that of the women on the site, how many have just put a profile just to get attantion and make themselves feel special, but have no intrest in meeting anyone off this site. How many girls have opened a profile with a couple friends, just to ridicule people. I know when I was younger, many girls would call the dating hotlines (free for women, pay for men) just to play around with guys. I'm sure this is going on. And then what about the kids on the site who want to mess with the "dirty old men". Sometimes you know that profile you're looking at is of a 15 year old dressed in big sisters clothing. So while men have to weed through all this, and women only have to deal with guys that might show intrest, but they are not their type. It all seems like the scales of burden does tip heavily in the mans direction. | |
|
nikkiw
|
Joined: 2/23/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/26/2005 10:10:47 AM | eborys--that's exactly what I mean. I may get a lot of emails but a lot of them are from some of the most ignorant men I have ever "met" so while quantity may be decent, quality is far from it. If that's what you'd rather have, then I understand your point. If you're not up for that, then trust me, it's tough (and discouraging) to get a lot of emails.
And joel--I agree with you but it works both ways (obviously...who was it that posted about having a fake profile??) ;) Oddly enough, though, that's how it works in life too. There are TONS of people out there trying to get some or just to play the game to see how many they can get. It's kinda just like the "real" dating scene, only minus the physical attraction (I don't really count pictures...mine really is me, but I'm hiding what i don't want people to see yet). Yes, the scales may tip a little bit more towards male burden (thank you society), but the girls have to deal with our fair share of it too. | |
|
| Pessimism Reigns
Posted: 3/26/2005 12:57:30 PM | | My least favorite button on this site is the "Who loves me" button. They can't give it another title. Theres nothing more depressing than clicking that button and it says that no one loves me. How about calling it the "stalking" button. This way if no one is on there you know you can sleep peacefully. And if you do have people there, you will feel important enough to be stalked. | |
|
|
| Page 2 of 7
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
Home
login 
