| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/18/2005 12:16:36 PM | | Why is it that if you take care of your body and are concerned with your looks, you are regarded as shallow? I know alot of intelligent people who feel that looking good is definitely a plus in their life. Now it would be ludicrous for me to say that looks are not important to me. But i do feel that it adds to the package. By the same token i have gone out with beautiful women who i have nothing in common with and completely lost interest in them. So Jen don't fret. If your happy with the way you look eventually you will find someone who will notice how secure you are in yourself. Trust me when i tell you, that is a turn on in itself. Good luck | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/18/2005 12:44:29 PM | heres my problem....
if you truly are average you cant win!
if ur hard on yourself...thats no good bc they want someone with confidence..
if ur confident...you'll get all the haters who feel its their right to put you down
theres no happy medium
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/18/2005 1:51:16 PM | | How can you say that if your truly average you can't win??? .... there is no reason for anyone to be so hard on themselves ! We are are given charecteristics that make us special for exactly who we are ! I have men tell me that they perposely have avioded me because I was tall and blonde... and they felt intimidated... who knows if one of them might have been the right guy !! I never got the chance to find out. Beauty is definetly in the eye of the beholder, some people just don't give themselves a chance to find out what others have to offer because of their predisposed ideas of the perfect man or women. I'm 46 and have been out of the dating sceen for almost 20 years... I feel that now a days, more people are looking for someone solid , trustworthy, caring, and fun to be with.. as all the years of dating strictley by looks have got them nowhere ! Everyone please use this site or any other method of dating as a time to express your true self and be proud of who you are ! | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/18/2005 2:37:59 PM | [I have found that a person who may appear to be "great" looking at first glance may become ugly the more you get to know them and vice versa. There has to be a great heart and personality that goes with that person. ]
very very well said  I agree that there must be a physical attraction, but we also have to remember that beauty is only skin deep. | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/18/2005 3:18:25 PM | Notice how many different responses are on here?
So lets say 90% on here are shallow, what about the other 10%?
So, if there were 10,000 people on this site (I have no idea the actual total)
10% of 10,000 would leave you 1,000.
Narrow it down further, you only really want one, right?
Have confidence in the fact you can find one decent, caring person on here
...everything else is just a numbers game.
Oh, and you ARE beautiful. | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/18/2005 4:09:34 PM | Dear pisces princess,
Let's clarify a few things:
A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO LOOK GOOD ARE SHALLOW
Yes, I've dated a few of them myself. And yes, good looking people tend to be a little bit more shallow, on average. But then again, I've had obese chicks come up to me in bars telling me that they like my ass and wether I wanted to f***. Now, that's unreasonable, "Ugly AND Shallow!!!". So there is all kind of people.
FOR EVERYONE OUT THERE, THERE IS A MATCH
Unless you have a third eye, two penises or some other oddities, there are people out there who are in your league. I don't set my eyes on Claudia Scheffer cause I know that she probably won't be interested. Don't be discouraged, look your best and find people that you find "reasonably" attractive at your level.
NOT ALL PEOPLE WHO LOOK GOOD ARE IDIOTS
I think that I look ok and yet have many interests, be it sports or academics, and I have a great career as an army platoon commander. (BTW, that might explain the slight harshness of my comments, in the army we don't take too many detours to tell people what to do! sorry...)
YOU AIN'T BARBIE, THERE IS STUFF YOU CAN DO
Ok, getting out there, doing sports, toning up, getting a tan and all these things that I've said. Sure, you'll never look like Barbie. But at least, it's a plan and it would sure help great many people if they were more active and took better care of their looks. It's much better than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, ain't it?!
MOST IMPORTANT, FIND SOMEONE YOU LIKE
Imagine this, it is possible to find someone both attractive physically and mentally...! So, why the hell shouldn't you go for that? I might be shallow to look for attractive girls but, since I can, that's what I'm gonna do for sure!!! As long as they are not only good looking but also smart, nice and all these other things. | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/18/2005 4:42:38 PM | | well i have to say that even if you have a third eye or two penise's i'm sure in this world of different people there is someone out there who would be attracted to that lol | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/18/2005 6:17:09 PM | Well Tall n Dark.....I must say that your latest posting was in my opinion, much more appropriate. Thanks for responding. | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/19/2005 11:04:11 AM | Actually looks do play a important part in the initial phase of relationship.if you are not
good looking then there are lesser chances of people approaching you, inspite of you havin
a great personality.so looks do play a important part but only looks will not lead u too
further.. | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/19/2005 11:47:46 AM | | im lookin for a wgood woman im 40 yblackmale andsingle im lookin for love | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/20/2005 4:34:17 AM | I think it's great too that we can come in here and give our own personal opinions.
Here is my thought on it.
I get some of those "ur sexy looking...ur pretty looking" mails.
Well....that's all good, but pictures can tell a lie sometimes...i might look slightly different irl...not alot , but maybe some...and i would like for ppl to get to know me for who i am..not the way i look, because they might get dissapointed when they expect to see me the way i look on those pics.....it's posed pics, and we all tend to look a bit different irl.
I believe that i have alot to give....i'm nice and fun and all that....and that's what matters in the end. I know that it's the looks who attract ppl, but i would like to get a chance to see beyond the surface...
When i started to write ppl in here, i must admit i wrote to some of the cute looking guys..but i have moved on now..now i only write those who seems to be nice ppl, and not those "I'm god's gift to women" guys.
I would rather be with one who loves me for who i am...than one who is more concerned about the way he or I look.
And that would be my opinion.... | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/20/2005 6:23:59 PM | | Ok just put it this way , attractive people put a lot of hard work into themselves and of course they would expect to have the same from the other person. The only time I see someone attractive with someone unattractive is when they have money. And of course that would make anyone attractive. There is a choice to be made. If you don’t want to spend anytime in the gym, then spend time making money. You also will have an attractive person, but the price is high and love is not included, can win so just stick with god give you and make the best out of it. | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/20/2005 7:06:00 PM | Ok ... ratpak ... I'd have to disagree with your opinion. I've met attractive people who have never put any work into themselves, the attractive looks just come naturally. Then I've seen some who put alot of work into themselves, spending time at the gym and not be attractive at all. Working out at the gym may alter our body image, but not our facial image.
Everyone has their own unique look and everyone is going to be attracted to different things. For example: the guys that my sister has dated I don't find attractive and vise versa ... but that doesn't mean that the guys are unattractive. It just means that we are attracted to different things in a guy.
In my opinion, a personality and a soul has to come into play with the physical aspects. I learned that experience with my ex. A short time after we separated, I looked at him one day and said "Man are you one ugly f***er!" I saw him differently ... he wasn't attractive to me anymore. Why? Cause I had seen the ugliness within and that affected his physique to me. I couldn't see any longer what I had ever been attracted to.
Once you get to know a person and you become attracted to who they are, you will find that you become more attracted to what they are. There is more than one meaning to the phrase "You are a beautiful person". | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 40 | |
| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/21/2005 3:04:02 PM | | imo looks only get you looked at...after that it's up to you to capture the imagination of the object of your desire. If you can't do that, then even the hottest guy/girl will be forever destined to loneliness. So take what God gave you and work with it by taking care of yourself and your appearance. That's all you have to do as far as looks go. The rest, well that's all up to you. | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 42 | |
| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/21/2005 3:33:32 PM | | Speaking for myself, a womans looks will at most pique my interest. Only with her mind will it be possible for her to be seduced....assuming she finds my weaknesses....assuming I had any ;) | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 43 | |
| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/21/2005 3:35:13 PM | oopsie, I meant to say: Only with her mind will it be possible for her to seduce me....assuming she finds my weaknesses....assuming I had any ;)
I wish this board had the functionality of allowing you to edit previous posts. | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/21/2005 3:57:15 PM | You can edit...briefly before you move to another post...but you must be quick about it.
We all have weaknesses...for me it is when someone talks computer-ese to me. Remember when Morticia would speck french on the Adams Family? hehehe
I'm warped. | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 45 | |
| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/21/2005 4:23:54 PM | | hahaha....I wouldnt even know how to classify that fetish but it sounds interesting and thanks for the tip on how to edit my posts... | |
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Vlad
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 46 | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 47 | |
| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/21/2005 4:44:55 PM | | mmm imo, money llike looks only gets you so far....you would be surprised but most women will trade in all the jewlery in the world for sexual desire and love. The reason why women tend to stay in bad relationships for so long is not because of money and looks or other tangibles, but because they can endure a lot of suffering and unhappiness before they say enough and walk out. | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/21/2005 4:52:00 PM | Beauty is mostly fashion. This is empirically provable. research has been done. Lots of it. Anyone worried about being big google a guy named Rubens. Ever heard the term rubenesque? He's the guy. Rubens was all about the hot chicks. When Rubens was painting the women he was painting were the Supermodels of their day. I'd say they average around a size 30-40.
Facial shape is all fashion. Look at the difference between 1900s models, 50s models and todays models. round smooth faces vs angular bony faces. That one was all about printing technology in fashion magazines. (its long but documented)
The only thing folks have been able to determine that is genuine across all cultural boundaries is that zits are bad, and there's something called the 7 degree slope in women. which has to do with the ratio between the hips and the waist. (hips bigger than waist? generally good to go) Guys had only one: Positions of power. How creepy is that?
I personally am a firm believer in pretty enough. Are you capable of looking at the person and going hmmmm. Thats it. All else is unnecessary physically. | |
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Masa
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Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/21/2005 4:54:27 PM | | Yeah looks, money or whatever attributes. You look for something and your neighbours looks for something different. Alot of people settle, and theres nothing wrong with that, I think... not sure hehehe. People that found all or most of what they wanted end up living, growing old together etc...But by instinct money means, able to provide...And theres alot of single women out there that would not say no to money that's for sure. anyway alot of discuss on that for sure!!! | |
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| it's all about the looks
Posted: 3/22/2005 12:57:16 AM | Am I the only person that has gotten more and more attracted to someone as I got to know them more deeply?
I think it can be proven, with anecdotal evidence at least - people have affairs with people from work, who are often not physically attractive, but yet people fall in love with the person *inside* when a lot of time is spent together.
It seems that in our fast food culture, *Most* of the time, we don't want to wait and get to know someone on a deeper level. If there isn't an instant connection - it's off to the next person.
What sucks is that each situation might be different. I've fallen deeply in a short time based upon initial beauty, and also became more and more attracted to someone over time and they were not "good looking" by society's standards. | |
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