| | what do you mean when you say no chemistryPage 5 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | | I "think" its all about the initial... DO I like your looks. If the answer is NO. Its over its done. If the answer is..Yes, or Possibly, you consider the other attractions, Mentally, Spiritually, Educationally, (along with whatever YOUR personal list includes) and then the even present what things you have in common!!! | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/15/2006 11:01:28 AM | INITIALLY yes, but you are talking about animal attraction when you bring up phermones.
It has nothing to do with spiritual attraction, emotional attraction, mental attraction, tenderness, thoughtfullnes etc. Those attributes take time to explore and to understand. Phermones elicit a purely physical response.. Without animal attraction, the other levels of attraction mean I will probably always love that person but not be 'in love with' that person, and while I might decide I can live with that person, I can't say I am 'truly, madly, deeply' happy... more like I 'settled'.
*sigh*.. it also means sex won't be on the list of top ten best pastimes. OH well. The older ya get, maybe the less that matters.
Im beginning to think it all comes down to looks. Im an average looking guy but I know somebody who is never single. He can get any girl he wants. Nope, it's not the appearance, it's the confidence that attracts the women. He knows he can, so he doesn't really keep track, and those females are jockeying for position, meowing & hissing, etc .. Another example is Danny DeVito. That fella is NOT what we might call good-looking, but he's happy in his own skin. Rhea Perlman ain't dumb .. ;-) She saw gold and grabbed it.
these excuses like, no chemistry, no connection, nothing in common
translates to, "Not interested becauce you don't have enough money and or you don't want to pay enough".
What a cynical, bitter outlook. And how wrong you are. Boring and obnoxious has nothing to do with money. I'd love to date a funny, intelligent, poor guy who makes my knees weak than some pompous, brainless, rich dolt who just makes me feel creepy when he looks at me. AMEN to THAT!!! .. Money is just as useless a catch-all excuse as the other stuff that was scoffed at! | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/15/2006 11:46:35 AM | | The first so called "chemistry" is merely animal attraction. Most understand it takes time to really know and few times is the first date going to tell all. There is nothing wrong with that, it is not a very good gauge for for the future. | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/19/2006 6:49:40 PM | It is because you haven't met the RIGHT woman yet. It has nothing to do with how you look or your personality...is is all about that CLICK.
Your looks and personality etc are right for some women....you just haven't met them yet. | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/19/2006 7:21:28 PM | it just wasnt meant to be.....im sure you have been in a similar situation before when a girls made it clear she really likes you but you dont feel the same.....think back to how you felt and you have the answer  x | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/19/2006 7:24:27 PM | Hey guys!!! no chemistry doesnt mean that the man dont have money!!! I have met some men that have plenty of money and mind you, they are so truthful telling me that he has plenty of money and to me its a turn off. I work hard to get what I want and dont need anyone to give me money or support me. No chemistry means no attraction and usually one find that out on the first meeting, that means too, that no more second date, thats the purpose of meeting in person. why is it that most guys thinks that all women are gold diggers?
that hurts on our part. Please !!! know what kind of woman you dating first before you judge us.   | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/21/2006 7:58:23 PM | | No chemistry means something is missing, it can be lack of physical attraction, not enough interests in common, different lifestyles or values as well as status in the community. Not being well groomed, poor communication skills, a sloppy dresser, being cheap, oh there are so many things, either you connect with someone, or you don't. My daughter and I have a list of 10 things we look for, and if 8 out of 10 are there, you might have a chance, but a score of less than 7, uhuh, it just aint gonna happen, forget about it. | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/21/2006 10:13:10 PM | pink rose lady-
i'd love to hear the ten things
will you share?
i've only known one person in all my life that i felt that kind of total chemistry with
(and i still can't put my finger on exactly why.....)
he wasn't the best looking man i've ever dated-(not by a long shot)
he didn't have the type of personality i usually find attractive-
playful, boudacious and fun-flirtatious-imaginative-ambitious
he wasn't any of them
he wasn't tall, he wasn't built-he wasn't a jock or a musician
he wasn't ambitious, educated or friendly
but omg-all i had to do was hear his voice and my heart froze in my chest
seeing him, or knowing i was going to see him, made my stomach do flip-flops
it was like a storm of butterflies (lol)
so, apparently chemistry can defy all logic......... | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/21/2006 10:47:59 PM | don,t take it personally....love..has no..logical ansewer..it will change from person to person..
Just keep..on dating...There,s a pretty lady out there for ya....
As.for the ladies..here..THINK..we have all heard the Line..Take,s kissing alot frog,s to find that Prince..so something like that...lol..  | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/22/2006 4:53:09 AM | My opinion cause been there before: Was all kinda good, but in the gut you just know the man isn't the one for you. Something is off the mark. Maybe it's the conversation, personalities, interests etc. I know myself, some dates have ended with me thinking - oh yea great guy has potential - but it's not going to work because he's just "to ______" [fill in blank here] type of deal. It happens.
To me chemistry is when the guy and I see things, and understand things on the same level. He can keep up with me, I can keep up with him. Chemistry, sexual - oh yea that's important and the emotional mingling has got to be on the mark or else I bail. That's about it...*shrugs* | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:15:46 AM | it means that when you were together...something didn't "click" for them...move on dman...I asked the same question a few weeks ago and your getting told the same thing...even tho I may think my date and I are hitting it off, he is thinking elsewhere...only thing that surprises me, is why do they say "I will call you" then send you an email saying the "chemistry" wasn't there....people say they don't believe in "love at first sight" but I think the chemistry thing is right along the same lines....if the sparks arnt flying and I am not head over heels then the "chemistry" isn't there...BS!!!! Now if I go on a date and the conversation is great and we are enjoying each others company then, to me, that means we are getting along and that maybe the "chemistry" will evolve...guess I am too old-fashioned and believe in being fair....but you know what..thats ok..cuz I know there is someone out there who feels the same as I do...I just keep on keepin' on!! Good luck dman and have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!  | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 11/22/2006 4:03:58 PM | | maybe she had a few more in the pipeline???? you know, wonderment about what the next one might have....and although you were nice and both seemed to enjoy the evening.....it ain't going anywhere for her. | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 1/6/2007 6:56:33 PM | NO chemistry, which shows someone is chemically imbalanced then.
Can't picture you in bed or naked, now who exactly is thinking sex on the first dates here?
Even with reading through this thread on chemistry or lack of, I still have yet to see a picture perfect clear definition, that doesn't look like an excuse of what chemistry is, and what constitutes the lack OF chemistry.
Chemistry, other than the beakers, bunson burners, test tubes, and chemicals, is just another thing to keep men confused as he!! about women.
To be picturing someone in bed before even saying hi, is a chemical equation that is very unstable and from the majority of the threads on what the heck is chemistry, might blow up in your face.
Another fine example of most women (not all because it was a female that originated the Define instant chemistry thread) that want it all, but not happy when they can't get it all.
With a clear mind, and focused on the person you are meeting, any chemistry can happen.
I'm starting to question what came first, instant chemistry or the term JADED. I had to look up Jaded in the dictionary. A term I wasn't familiar with, because I give everybody a chance. If it doesn't work the first time, try try again.
Trying to figure out what makes a woman spark and chemically balanced looks to be about as much fun as playing leap frog with a unicorn! Both are pain staking if you can't get the hang of it! | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 121 | |
| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 1/6/2007 7:07:14 PM | | If a man says there is no chemistry he means if a woman is the last woman on Earth he still would never want to have sex with her. (my .02 worth). | |
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 1/6/2007 7:42:02 PM | I agree, without the chemistry it is a friends only thing nothing more
It is because you haven't met the RIGHT woman yet. It has nothing to do with how you look or your personality...is is all about that CLICK.
ty well said........ I have been trying to get this point to someone for a week now, well said
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| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 1/6/2007 8:13:33 PM | MSG 19: You got that exactly right! it is just as simple as that!!! There was just something that "she/he" didn't like about you (trivial in some peoples minds maybe, yes) but still enough for that person to not want to see you again. So instead of telling you exactly what it is that wasn't right, they say "no chemistry"... the kissing part means nothing... unfortunately alot of people view kissing as a "sport". Get over it, and move on... be lucky you found out early and they didn't string you along (all the while being annoyed at you for some little thing you don't even realize you do!)
Chemistry simply means that "butterfly" effect in your gut when you hear thier voice, see thier face, smell thier smell... this doesn't happen often, so when it comes around...thrive in it, cherish it!
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C-Lo25
| | Joined: 4/14/2010
Msg: 124 | |
| what do you mean when you say no chemistry
Posted: 6/9/2010 2:32:30 AM | | I honestly think that its just a generic excuse that people (men and women) give so they dont have to be brutally honest. They dont want to feel guilty for potentially hurting the other individuals feelings because they are probably not interested in you because of something that is very superficial. At least you get that much though. Ive dated a few women on PoF and the date will go great then ill never hear anything from them again. I just say "their loss!!" If a woman doesnt want to take the time to get to know me then thats too bad for them. Alot of people are never satisfied so they continually seek the next best thing. You also have the types that are only interested in superficial characteristics. (Those are the ones that constantly complain about dating jerks and douchebags. .. Haha!) Personally, im satisfied with a woman not wasting my time with multiple dates if she feels there is no "chemistry" | |
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