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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a      Home login  
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 Vandelai
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 26
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lotPage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I find that neither being a JERK or a NICE GUY (tm) pays off....but "indifference" works very well with women
 keeley120
Joined: 11/27/2004
Msg: 27
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 2:55:58 PM
maybe nice guys should just quit whining and learn how to use that tongue for more than stamp-licking...
 markawelch
Joined: 3/1/2005
Msg: 28
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 3:03:37 PM
keeley120, you really shouldn't taunt a bunch of lonely, horny guys like that........
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 29
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Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 3:39:27 PM
Taunts can be succinctly persuasive.
 keeley120
Joined: 11/27/2004
Msg: 30
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 5:07:20 PM
Lol...true...but hey...i'm not gettin laid and u don't hear me whining. Anybody can pull down their pants...I want a man who can tug at my heart, and challenge my thinking a little too...that's the kinda man i'd be pouting over...Being nice has nothing to do with getting laid--being sensual, passionate, and clever does...lol
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 31
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 5:24:33 PM
I guess theres no "Personality 101" at a college near ANY of tha finger pointers?
d*mn......
I'm gunna start an on-line paypal class!!! jeeEEEezuz
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 32
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 5:26:14 PM
Hey mark......You still singin and dancin and swingin about? Dont we need a couple more flakes ta join our band?
 Passinthru
Joined: 2/3/2005
Msg: 33
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 5:27:20 PM
medana hit a key note in many who consider themselves as "nice" to the rest of us would appear to be doormats.

I'll even go so far as to say many are passive aggressives who will do almost anything to lure someone in and then harbor resentment later for feeling they had to sacrifice their dignity in doing so.
 Passinthru
Joined: 2/3/2005
Msg: 34
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 5:29:42 PM
and keeley's right, pushups with your tongue can really help
 laralicious
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 35
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 8:53:42 PM
haha you tell em girlie!!
 markawelch
Joined: 3/1/2005
Msg: 36
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 9:38:18 PM
Hey reefer,

Yes, let's find those other two idiots and hit the road!
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 37
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 9:49:08 PM
even better idea Yer a writer........I'll let ya write my story.......we'll be famous and rich.....well youll be famous.....ill just be rich lmao
 markawelch
Joined: 3/1/2005
Msg: 38
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 10:03:02 PM
Hmm.....

What to call it......

Ah...."The Life and Times of a Bathroom Philosopher or How to make beer money without breaking a sweat"

How about that? (grin)
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 39
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 10:15:35 PM
How about............I was born jan.14 1973 2 weeks late and after 18 hours of labour during the half-time show on SuperBowl Sunday........the Doctor showed up drunk and in NO mood to...............I mean THATS just fer starters.......it gets WAYYYYY better......................
 Arpi
Joined: 3/15/2005
Msg: 40
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/17/2005 11:53:19 PM
This post may seem technical.

Is causality implicit in the statement of the message, or can it be validly interpreted in more than one way?

In other words, if the statement holds, does it mean:

1) By being nice, guys don't get laid a lot.

OR

2) By getting laid a lot, guys aren't nice?

My reading of the posts tells me most people are leaning toward interpretation 1. There is also some support for interpretation 2.

So maybe another way to phrase the question at the heart of the statement is: are being nice, and getting laid mutually exclusive events for a male? Let's explore.

Being male is self-explanatory. I like to think "getting laid" is too. So that leaves us with "being nice".

Nice is a subjective qualifier. Subjectivity remains even when you place the word Nice beside the word Guy. "Nice Guy". What is that? From the conversation thread, it would seem that Nice Guy has been broadly defined as being one end of a spectrum on which we find "Jerk" at the other end. The implication is that being a Jerk and being a Nice Guy are mutually exclusive events.

That's still pretty broad though. Can we get a clearer definition of Nice Guy?

If the Nice Guy definition is limited to "the one who won't talk to the women and be assertive, and doesn't get laid", then we almost end up with the circular reasoning of "nice guys don't get laid (a lot), given that nice guys are the ones defined as those who don't get laid (a lot)".

So Nice Guy needs to be better defined. I don't have the magic answer to define more precisely what a Nice Guy is, though I might throw out some considerations for trying to:

- Is the status of being a "Nice Guy" something that one can fairly assess about one's self, or should that assessment from others around him?
- Can a Nice Guy be defined outside of the context of whether or not he gets laid a lot?
- Can I be qualified as a Nice Guy from this post, from my profile, etc? Similarly, can I be qualified as a Jerk using the same criteria?
- Have you ever told someone that he's a Nice Guy? Has anyone ever told you that you are a Nice Guy?

Finally (if you've read this far, I am flattered, or you're bored), is this really about which kind of "guy" (Jerk / Nice Guy) gets laid (a lot), or is it in fact about approach? Is anyone really just a "Nice Guy" or just a "Jerk"? Humans are moody creatures, and I would imagine that, like our recently divorced colleague, a guy's approach is influenced by not just his personality, but also by situational factors external to who he is (for example, results from historic approach attempts). There is a wide range of approaches, and it might be impractical to try to fit each of them somewhere on the Jerk-Nice Guy continuum. For example, what about the guy who doesn't approach women at all but gets laid a lot because they approach him? Based on that information alone, can we really lean him more towards a Jerk or Nice Guy?

Arpi
 markawelch
Joined: 3/1/2005
Msg: 41
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 3/18/2005 10:11:56 PM
Don't worry, it's not my idea of a technical post. A bit verbose perhaps, but not technical. (grin)
 markawelch
Joined: 3/1/2005
Msg: 42
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 43
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Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/1/2005 4:03:09 PM
Well, sometimes "nice guys" make one fatal mistake.

They try and solve a womans's problems.

Anyone that has been there knows that the only thing you will wind up with is a soggy shoulder.

A man should listen to a woman who is going through difficult times. The answers she already has , most times. She just wants to share the experience.


It's like the difference between men and woman when asked " How was your day ? "

A man will often say good, bad, terrible...etc.

A woman will start with " Well, I got up at 7 am....." and describe the entire day in detail, right up to the time until you said " How was your day ? "

Not all woman, mind you.

We are equal, but we are not the same.

" Nice guys" sometimes forget that.
 markawelch
Joined: 3/1/2005
Msg: 44
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/1/2005 5:16:03 PM
...........then it becomes "you are so nice and just a really good FRIEND."
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 45
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Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/1/2005 5:30:33 PM
"Nice guys" will also never draw a line in the sand. ( same thing for "nice girls" btw)

Every rose has it's thorn. It is up to each of us to decide when the pain exceeds the beauty. If a woman hurts you in a deliberate manner, or by being thoughtless, or by making you feel less than human - you decide if it is worth it.

If you stay, don't complain. After the first time, you can only blame yourself.

Like skateboarding, knowing when to bail ( only when the situation passes your tolerance level) is a critical skill to learn.

You should never run away, but there are certain times where walking calmly in the opposite direction is the only solution.
 Sickofwork
Joined: 1/10/2005
Msg: 46
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/1/2005 9:28:48 PM
Hmm...i agree that nice guys dont get laid alot...I am and allways will be a nice guy...but it really hits you are sitting at home hanging out with 4 women that will never have sex with you and only see you as a friend and someone to talk to. But hey...better than hanging out with 4 guys i guess
 Vandelai
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 47
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 3:43:17 AM
"If they just want to hit it and quit it, are they really nice guys afterall? "

I get a kick out of the false statement. This is highly blown out of proportion, apparently ,now "Nice guys" want to "wham bam thank you ma'am"

No, that would be a "Player" or a "Jerk". A nice guy wants an actual relationship with a woman, but even a "Nice Guy" wants to get laid too, just like in any relationship where a couple is sexually active.

Of course, a nice guy is "Eventually" going to want to get laid, that's why he wants to be her boyfriend.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 48
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Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 6:31:30 AM
Another thing from my experience with women. ( No claims of expertise, just some lessons learned - and still more to follow. )

The woman I find the most puzzling about women ( and the same applies for men by the way) are those ones I have met that ALWAYS have the same problems with men.

Many different men, over years of time, and yet always the same result.Getting horribly hurt, betrayed, used.....

There is only one thing in common.... themselves.

I noticed that in my dating history. I have seen a progress over time, a gradual improvement in the quality of women I meet. I thought it was a little strange, until I realized they hadn't changed.

I had.
 Quack
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 49
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 7:28:33 AM
I must be too nice, lots of friends no lovers... have only had really 4 relationships that were over a week long. One was 8 months and one was 14 or so years. Never really date, cause I get yo are such a good friend.. man this suck. I just cant seem to really turn into a jerk just to get some, I would rather it mean more... so alone I stay
 Vandelai
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 50
Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 7:33:53 AM
You hit the nail on the head ,Montreal.

It almost seems like a broken record...over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over again.

"He cheated on me" or "I'm an idiot magnet" or "He abused me" or "He was a jerk"...used...abused...betrayed..etc.

If I had a dime for everytime I heard a woman say that, I'd be rich , 10 fold!

Also, Sliv, that's right...."its always someone elses fault, right"?
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