| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 9:29:16 AM | I am a nice guy and I hardly ever finish first . I can be a little shy and quiet ( sometimes ) which in general does not help . I am opened minded about women in general . If I meet a woman and I feel some type of attraction towards her and I do approach her , it is aways with the intent of trying to get to know her and see if there is potential to develope a true relationship ( not just get her in the bed ) because I am looking for more than that .
I think that women in general aren't looking for a nice guy to develope a relationship with because they preceived nice guys as boring , which is not necessaryly true . They want nice guys as friends , so they can have someone to depend upon to be there when things don't work out elsewhere . I have talken on the roll of being a good friend several times waiting to see if more could develope and what usually happens they end up meeting some " macho hunk " that they fall for . But being a friend you just sit back and wait to see what happens ( caring about them being happy ) and usually this " macho hunk " turns out to be a jerk / ***hole and treats her poorly . They turn back to me as a friend , because they know that I am there for them if they need someone to talk to and help them get past the bad experence .So you continue on your friendship waiting to see if anything develops and the cycle starts over again with a different guy .
So , I think that women are afraid to try to develope a relationship with a true friend because they are afraid to lose your friendship and they would not have anybody to turn to , to be there for them , which might be true in some cases . I myself do not give up on friendships that easiey . If you have a true friend that really cares for you , they can look past the fact that a relationship did not work and still be friends because they care about your happiness .
I was married for 6 years and have been divorced for 19 years and I have had several good relationships during that time and I am still friends with most of them .
Women need to open there eyes and see what a true nice guy wants and have to offer , which is usually what good relationships are based on . Afterall , everybody looking for a relationship sometime in there life time unless they are planning on being alone all there life .
I realize that all nice guys are not "TRUE " nice guys , but i know that there are some because I am one . I make a good friend , but I have potential to be so much more . I just need to meet the right women that can see & feel that potential . There are alot of men & women playing games you just have to dig past them to find the right one , just be careful and not pass them up too quickly . | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 10:01:21 AM | Dimitri, I read your profile, I really so no difference too much compared with other files.
Unfortunately, women SAY they want sensitive, but inded seek the "Animal/outlaw biker" types. Aka "Alpha male"
However, to argue this, men, who describe yourself as you are, are not marriage material.
Geniune nice guys who show more of their sensitive side...are marriage material. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 10:50:13 AM | "Squirrels just wanna have fun..."
To Dimitri:
1) I never drink alcohol, and never have (I'll admit to way too much carbonated soda).
2) I did start exercising, but only very recently
3) I also have been watching my diet, more carefully, in recent months, and have lost a few pounds...slow-going, but I'm on the right track, at last !
4) thanks for the info & suggestions. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 12:27:13 PM | A lot of things have been said about "nice guys", both negative and postive. A big positive that isn't mentioned is that they contribute to the stability of society. They help uphold values that keep everything together.
It's the "nice guys" that often do the thankless tasks, help the needy, or just simply be there when someone is down.
I think we ought to consider, where would society be with "nice guys". More than that where would humankind as a whole be without them.
Just a thought. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 1:23:02 PM | A lot of things have been said about "nice guys", both negative and postive. A big positive that isn't mentioned is that they contribute to the stability of society. They help uphold values that keep everything together.
It's the "nice guys" that often do the thankless tasks, help the needy, or just simply be there when someone is down.
I think we ought to consider, where would society be with "nice guys". More than that where would humankind as a whole be without them.
Just a thought
Good thought, Markawelch:
Nice guys dont:
-Have numerous sex partners
-Don't beat their girlfriends/wives
-Are faithful
-Are loyal
-Open doors for people (not just women)
-Give someone a helping hand
-Put themselves first before others (Those who are first, will be last; those who are last, will be first)
-Make good shoulders to cry on 
-Attentative
I could write more....but that's just the tip of the iceberg | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 1:36:37 PM | Of course, the same thought extends to "nice girls" as well.
"Nice people" are often sought out when someone needs something from them. However they are seldom appreciated.
Throughout the various stages of our lives, we encounter these quiet and unappreciated souls.
How about that helpful chubby girl in high school? She never dated, but was always there when someone else's date when bad. She always had a kind word or a smile. She belonged to all the clubs and made sure that all the events succeeded. Still, she never got a kiss from the her heart's dream and seldom got a thankyou, except from the principal or teachers.
How about the quiet computer nerd that works in the next cubicle? He always has time to help someone when their computer melts down. He works on weekends to cover for someone who has fun plans. He contributes to the "kitty" when it's passed around to help someone who is ill. He does these things quietly and then goes home either to an empty apartment or to his parent's basement.
What about that brother or sister that helps take care of the ailing parents? The ones that do so out of love and not desire for personal gain?
I could list many, many more, but I think you get the idea.
When you see these nice people, just remember.................. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 4:12:00 PM | A book I can recommend to the men here.
I don't agree with it 100 percent, and I normally don't even pay attention to this type of book to be honest.
How to succeed with women - by Ron Louis and David Copeland.
When I got divorced, the title caught my eye in the bookstore. I picked it up with some scorn, and gave it a quick look.
It actually had a lot of positive things to say about how men interact with women.
I bought it, and learned some things.
I wish I had read it when I was a young man, would have saved a lot of trouble.
You can find the website by Googling for it, and check it out. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 6:42:24 PM | | Now i'll tell you a true story that happened to me a couple of months ago. I happen to be the nice guy type, and of course, I do not get laid a lot, period. I better adjust something or I'll go nuts. Anyway, I met this girl, about 23 yrs old and we spent the afternoon together. Then she told me I could stay in her place. Only one bed tough. So she told me we could sleep together, and she took her clothes off while we were in bed and put her sleeping top on and held on to me. What did I do? Talked with her because she was going through a hard time in her life and needed a caring listener. No getting laid. Sometimes I think I was too nice, but then, sometimes I think she needed to talk more than to have sex. So, it is true. Nice guys do not get laid a lot. The next day I went to see her and her ex b/f, who treated her like crap was with her...having sex. Just my two cents... | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 6:58:44 PM | To Vandelai
I don't know if they really need them.
Men are creatures that are not , by their nature, emotionally as in tune with themselves as women are. ( Again, not ALL women) .
We are to busy being MEN sometimes, to notice we are human too. We cut ourselves off a lot from many good things in life.
Like holding someone that just needed to be held, without anything else on our minds.
You can give yourself an orgasm anytime you want, but try hugging yourself and see how succesful you are at it.  | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 7:05:29 PM | Here is the URL for the site:
http://www.howtosucceedwithwomen.com/
Again, not a Bible of any kind. I don't agree with some of the concepts. I do find that it gives some interesting insights into why men sometimes run into the problems we do.
Take it for what it is worth. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/2/2005 8:19:19 PM | Montreal guy, here is a blurb from an article about "how to get physical with a woman, and basically tells how to read someone's mind, (bunch of BS)
---------------------------------------------------------------
So you decide to stop and hope that maybe things
will "heat back up" later.
WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE
If you really stop and think about it, the reason
why you run into problems in situations like these
is that:
1) You don't understand exactly what turns women on.
2) You are afraid of rejection.
3) You don't know what SHE'S thinking, so you hesitate.
I honestly believe that most men CAUSE their own
problems and resistance when it comes to "getting
physical" with a woman.
Yes, you read that right... MEN are the ones who
CAUSE the problems.
It's not the woman!
It's the fact that you don't understand the situation,
what's REALLY going on, and how to proceed.
WHAT WOMEN WANT... BUT WILL NEVER TELL YOU
Here's a little secret that most women will NEVER
share with you...
THEY KNOW WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND.
Women can tell what you're thinking!
If you want to kiss her, but you're nervous about
it, SHE KNOWS.
If you're kissing her and want to do more... SHE
KNOWS.
Here's the KICKER:
If you're afraid of her rejecting you, SHE KNOWS.
Really.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, it is the MEN who are the ones that cause the problems, not women....wonder who wrote this, a woman? LOL
Most of these self-help books, if you've noticed, are geared to what to do to "Win" a woman over.
Women can just sit back, and pretty much do nothing to get a man, while men, according to the media, have to jump hoops. I don't intend on going along with the mainstream advice if this is the kind of advice I am reading. | |
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Quack
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Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 71 | |
| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/3/2005 7:12:18 AM | I dont normally meet women with the intentions of getting a piece. The first date is to get to know them, or if I meet them someplace, getting in thier pants is not the first thing in my head. I want to meet a decent woman, and as far as hoping in bed right away, it has never worked for me, I usally dont care to see them again if it was that easy. Since I am looking for a long term relationship. I have time and am willing to invest time in someone worth it.
I have had a few times where the first meeting ended up in bed.. but like I said, I have never been one out looking for just that. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/3/2005 2:02:55 PM | I am a nice woman and dont get laid a lot. AND, empty sex is not my goal. I find that being nice has advantages and disadvantages. Many think they can put it over on me, the internet has taught good street skills, I learned it all from the things done or attempted to do on me.
Everyone thinks they are nice, or honest. People are people, the amount of sex you get is really about how skilled you are at seducing the other person. TIP - if I was feeling horny, I would not be trolling on the internet for someone all I have to do is go out somewhere, smile with that come here look. I like to see what I am going to get. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 4/3/2005 3:37:23 PM |
Nice Guys Finish First sometimes.................but don't get laid a lot
Hmmmmnnn??????
Well, in the sexual context. I have always *followed* the adage.
Nice guys, (do indeed) finish.................................................. last.
While turning things up side down, may certainly be considered a rewarding sexual strategy.
It just does not work in this case.
darjeeling | |
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