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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 9/27/2006 4:55:08 PM | Well, I just got the "I don't think there's any chemistry / let's just be friends" text off a gorgeous girl after 2 dates.
Before the first date I decided I would be a real gentleman to her.
On the second date I got the hunch she was after another kind.
Am I bothered? No
Because I like to be with a gentle-woman who makes me WANT TO BE A BETTER PERSON.
A girl who doesn't like to be treated well will have you degenerating into a baztard - something you may never have been.
Surely, if you're a true gent your friends would see whether she was right for you.
Accept it move on, and HAVE FAITH IN THE PERSON YOU ARE NOT WHAT A WOMAN WANTS YOU TO BE. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 9/27/2006 6:22:31 PM | I think it's fair to say that as you move along the aggressiveness continuum, starting from a very passive person, and move towards a point where the person can be called outgoing, and then towards assertive, and towards aggressive, you may find that the further you go the more likely you'll see that person described by someone as a jerk.
This doesn't mean aggressive people are jerks, of course, but they tend to get themselves out there in people's minds so opinions are more likely to be formed about them than people that are more introverted and simply don't make an impression.
In the world of relationships, the old standards still apply, and men are supposed to go out there and make the first move, so if you're not naturally active in making yourself known to women, that is you are rather passive and introverted, you will not do well. (Exceptions exist with the "super cute" guys, but still an introverted super cute guy will have a harder time hooking up than an introverted super cute girl).
Men are assigned the position of being on the prowl, so if you're very passive and introverted, you're sorta doomed.
I don't think being nice has anything to do with it at all. It' smore to do with assertiveness and getting yourself noticed or "out there." I'm not even convinced that confidence is as large a factor as it is played up to be
Obviously confidence is important, but I think it has less to do with that and more to do with assertiveness or outgoingness or just a willingess to take some first steps. I have seen many extroverted guys that are not really confident at all, but aren't passive or introverted and they seem to do okay with women despite it. Lots of introverted men are very confident and (some surprisingly think way too high of themselves, even) but lack the tendancy to assert their presence around women or to make first moves. Just because a person i sintroverted or super passive doesn't mean they aren't confident.
All in all, I think that is really the kernel of the problem - not confidence, not beign a jerk or a nice guy, but rather just the ability to make first moves and get yourself in situations where you make a good impression rather than being invisible.
All that being equal, it also doesn't hurt if you're really cute. Guys tend to think it's all about "game" and maybe its comforting for men to think that there's some sort of "skill" they can work on and get better at. There probably is. But woman react to looks more than guys like to believe. That's probably why guys dream up theories about having game or being a jerk and acting aloof - when maybe the other guy is just cuter and better dressed than you? | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 9/27/2006 10:04:17 PM | There are simply 3 types of men, there are NICE guys GOOD guys and then simply JERKS.
If nice guys are what women really want, then why is it that most nice guys are single? Why is it that we constantly hear stories about women dating big jerks that took them for a ride -- literally?
The fact is that women generally don't want nice guys, or maybe they're too busy chasing after jerks to realize that they do. Why? Because women act on impulse and emotion rather than fact. Who do you suppose brings out these same irrepressible emotions in women? The jerks, of course.
So what does this all add up to? No one wants to get hurt, but in the same instance, no one wants to be perceived as a jerk either. That is why it's important to have a balanced attitude towards relationships. A man has to be able to court a woman, amuse her and excite her while continuously remaining a challenge.
In other words, be nice to women, but remember who comes first in life; you, your irreplaceable family and friends. | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 9/27/2006 11:13:21 PM | The good ones appear boring, we don't frequent the bar and dance scene regularly because it's expensive and we have better use for our hard earned money. To go out for entertainment and have a good time is fine but in moeration.
We don't take advantage of drunk women or look for one night stands, not a reputation that we care to have.
We end up the friend who listens about the drinking, physical abuse and wasted money.
Asthetics, buy that flashy car that is expensive to ensure, repair and the mileage sucks. I had a plain jane volvo 240 that never quit and i miss it and still see it taking the fellow's wife to work everyday.
The same type grabs their attention again so it must work behaving like an a$$
I act like an a$$ for no one sorry, besides I want quality over quantity and imagine I'll find a person that prefers the same | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 9/28/2006 6:22:14 AM |
There are simply 3 types of men, there are NICE guys GOOD guys and then simply JERKS.
A man has to be able to court a woman, amuse her and excite her while continuously remaining a challenge.
In other words, be nice to women, but remember who comes first in life; you, your irreplaceable family and friends.
Words of wisdom. | |
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step1
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Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 132 | |
| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 10/3/2006 2:21:25 PM | Interesting thread, I’m going to try to break this down for myself. I’ve been told I’m nice.
I’m not sure if this is a race, so I’m not even thinking that “Nice guys finish first sometimes” Looking at it more as trials and tribulations in life and trying to work through it – moment by moment.
“…but they just don't get laid a lot.” I’m not sure what a lot is – I’ve turn down a number out of respect of the other or myself. Is that wrong?
People tell me that I’m blessed. I kind of like that than making marks on a bedpost. Oh I do have the tools … I hate making marks on bedposts.
“Just a step1 thing”, I guess. Hope this helps.
step1  | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 10/7/2008 8:33:19 PM | Things are simple...
If girl doesn't find you attractive, you have no chance end of story. You can be ugly or good looking, stupid or smart...girls are just like that if she finds you attractive you will get laid if not you won't. Now, there are a lot of guys who simply don't get laid, and answer is simple. A lot of girls don't find you attractive, just live with it till you meet one which will and make sure you don't push her away cause you might not get second chance. What can you do to change that? Not much...you're what you are...
Really sad part of the story is when guy gets rejected by many girls and finally there is one who likes him, unfortunately he doesn't find her attractive and many guys just can't go over the fact that they can't get good looking ones but some ugly chick is their only chance. And what they do, they reject that chance and they stay lonely.
I know life is a ****... | |
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| Nice guys finish first sometimes.......but they just don't get laid a lot
Posted: 10/7/2008 8:39:41 PM | The way I see it , it is the nice guys that finish first and get the action.,,,they are the ones with the patience, understanding and respect and somethings are worth waiting for...
When they get laid it is for real or keeps,,,it's the nice girls that don't get much action because they are waiting for that nice guy who doesn't come around too often. | |
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