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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/20/2007 7:49:21 AM | When i was in my mid 20's I met an older man named Wally. He was perhaps in his mid 70's Wally was still Surfing and had taken up the hobby of Blowing glass. Here was a man who wa still full of Life his eyes twinkled with excitement and good cheer. His home was a cluster of old surfboards and artifacts from his life, dating back to the 1920's. He and his dear wife were still very much in love. They both had this youthful outlook on life. He was more alive in his late 70's then a lot of people 1/2 his age.
Wally passed away at 85 years old. He was still involved in Surfing. Not going out on the bigger days but still getting out when then conditions would allow. He had friends from their teens all the way up to his age range. That is the art of aging with style. | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/24/2007 4:05:01 AM | Physically, I feel one heck of a lot better now than I did in my 20's. The part that bothers me is, well..... sometimes I can't remember things.... like.... how I have made this same post to this thread about 16 times. That is the beauty of it, ya know. Every thread is new and exciting... like it was the first time.
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/24/2007 5:22:56 AM | Well I woke up this morning another year older, the age of 56, and life is still as good as it was yesterday | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/24/2007 12:19:05 PM | ernestine anderson, age 78, was at the monterey jazz festival this weekend in CA. she took down the house and she had to be escorted to her seat. she sang feisty songs and even the "blues" had humor. a few times she mentioned she longed to stand and dance like she "used to do". i looked at her and she gave me courage.
for me, it is difficult knowing what is getting old and what is my disablity. the latter comes and goes. i get a good med and it takes away the pain and the fatigue and then, WHAM! it has side effects that are as bad or even worse than the original symptoms being treated. it's been an up and down battle for about 12 years now, but i will say it prepared me for aging. in the beginning, i "Interviewed" a number of people with conditions similar to mine and a number of old people. there was an 80 year old man who explained to me that he still was the same person mentally, but his body was not accomodating his thoughts and what he wanted it to do. it was an aha moment for me, but also bitter sweet. i guess i just thought old people slowly faded and ascended. i never thought the mind would be active still and yearning to break free and find itself another body.
for me, i like to face my fears and get them out of my system. then i push onward. at the peak of this disablity, i fost/adopted my three teens at the age of 50. two of them got to the adoption level and i am still working on the third of the sibilings who is in and out of jail and wanders back and forth. right now we are at a "tough love" moment. being older, i cannot just give freely of my resources any more, especially when they will be tossed and wasted. my eldest went onto the streets and is now back. so, this has been a worthwhile journey, but at 58, i do not think i could permanently take in any more lost souls.
my pets are also aging and we just put our oldest little guy to sleep. fortunately my manfriend has a big, beautiful yard and so i could rest him there peacefully as living by the ocean and creek is not a stable burial ground. he was my last link to the east coast life and i have been here now about 13 years. but only one in this area--the silicon valley lifestyle and housing (for me) were terrible years. here it is peaceful-- in the santa cruz/capitola/aptos area south of san jose, and over the mountains and winding roads (to create separation from the silicon insanity and overgrowth_.
i think if things didn't keep happening to me, i could handle aging with less stress. but because of all the things, pets, people i took on, i am having a very hard time right now and my energetic resources are fading fast. my bank account was defrauded, i have had problems with contractors working on this old stained glass home that i bought which is pretty but poorly constructed in various areas. now, my ex has screwed up my cobra it seems and i may be out 18 months of additional health care coverage and need to start the battle on that front.
i just want peace. i am fortunate to have a manfriend who shares many activities with me and we have a good man-woman relationship! in fact, way better than in the past. i believe the key to that was to know the difference between codependence and interdependence and also to know that you cannot change someone and that you also need not change. just take turns and do what only you want by yourself if needs be. you cannot force a round peg into a square whole. but.... you CAN ease it in!
so yes, it was very wierd walking around and seeing all these "old people" at the festival and knowing i was one of them. with my kids and all the ones before them hanging at my house to keep out of trouble, my best friends who are in their 30's but slowly dwindling with the moves i've made and no longer working in an exciting field as an "important" consultant and change agent, i am dealing with me and my maker. i always longed to sit and be with nature, but then i get there and i feel antsy. so, i just breath deep and talk to the ducks and racoons and try the walk to the ocean. if my manfriend goes with me, we snuggle.
i do think it's good to partner up in some way. maybe just friends and not necessarily living with each other. but also i don't think you can judge/change others or expect the perfect person in the outer sense of their physical appearance. there is always something in another who is not perfect, that can attract you. his/her eyes, the move of a muscle, laughter, an impy grin, kind voice, touch or gesture.
we need to hold onto the good things, but also bemoan now and then so as not to get "toxic" by withholding feelings. but then, put one foot in front of the other, find a cause or a charity, finally take advantage of that moment of silence and peace and sit with ourselves. sitting with just me is the hardest. as my manfriend says, i have a very active mind! he often pets my forehead to shut me up and get me to go to sleep rather than making plans for the rest of my life (as well as the world!). i am sure this is part being a person who is bursting within the limits of a body that is not working. but, also it is anxiety and not wanting to get too old and not get everything done!
so the answer, for me, is to pass it on to the younger ones and trust/hope they can carry forth some piece of what i perceive as "the legacy". several of the more talented groups at the jazz festival were very young and that made me very happy that i could also relate to their music and in fact, many were preserving (with little tweaks here and there) the legacy of their forerunners. the dexter gordons and doc cheathams have died, but the new ones have taken their place. sweet basil's in nyc is gone, where i used to sit and talk now and then with doc and feel less alone on a lonely sunday, as he reminded me of a "dad". i don' t fear death (having almost died once) , but i do fear the horrible things that are going on today and i hope will not escalate, but maybe even get better for more people who are still young and suffering so greatly all over this world. i am powerless over that and that is a difficult recognition. as for my life, i have to do it one day at at time or if necessary by the hour! | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/24/2007 1:40:51 PM | I hope when I get older, I will not be alone. That is the worst thing that could happen.
I hope most of us make it out of here before then | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/24/2007 1:48:30 PM |
I hope when I get older, I will not be alone. That is the worst thing that could happen.
I hope most of us make it out of here before then
Being alone is not even in the top 100 of the worst things that could happen. | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/24/2007 7:32:56 PM | bionic woman, i don't want to be alone either, but moreso i don't want to be lonely. i've had signficant others in my life who made me "feel" very lonely. so i unmade the loneliness, after trying very hard--ditched the narcissist and later the deceiver and branched out into doing service. i also make sure to get rid of mean spirited people very quickly! as long as we each give ourselves a push and pursue dreams that are achieveable so we don't remain on the pity pot forever, or teach others who are more able physically or agewise to pursue similar dreams for us, we will be surrounded with lots of goodness and good people. we will have made a contribution and go out loud and strong and remembered. feelings  are just that: feelings. actions will make us happy, peaceful or maybe even passionate or mischievous!  after all, i have another 42 years to raise hell. sitting or standing, it's one's "presence" that counts the most. | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/25/2007 8:17:09 PM | | I am not looking forward to getting old which I am well on my way I feel at times being 50 but I think what bothers me the most is growing old alone. This may sound old fashion but I have worked hard for many years and I am ready to settle down and be a house wife again either with supper cooked for my man when he gets home from work or else being able to be free to do as we please if he is retired. This is what I look forward to in my old age along with good health for many years to come for us both, my partner and I. | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:36:48 PM | | It's going to happen and there is no way to stop it. It's a fact of life that's not worth worrying over. Just take life one day at a time and make the most of it. | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/26/2007 4:19:04 PM | I hate it... I hate it.
I don't want to grow older anymore.
I liked it until last year.
I find that this year has been harder. I just turned 55...
I don't want to be old, wrinkled and 'invisible' because whether we like it or not, older people do not 'enjoy' the reputation they had 50 years ago. Now days, they are seen more like a nuisance.
I HATE IT! | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/27/2007 10:15:52 AM | The worst part of growing old is the disillusionment with all the things I used to believe in... the collapse of most of my ambitions, dreams and hopes. I used to be so idealistic. Now my brain can't help but focus on the negative and dwell on the hurts and bad things and betrayals. I am constantly fighting against the "bad" side of my brain that asks "what is there to live for and look forward to?"
Everything I tried to do, everyone I tried to fit in with... a big nothing. Dating has certainly been a loss. It's not going to get any better either.
Friends who have retired have found that that isn't so great either. They experience loneliness, lack of connection, uselessness.
I used to enjoy good health but in the last few years it's been one thing after another. Like an old car I am just getting more rusty & decrepit.
I sure hope I can carry thru with my resolution: if I get heart problems or other serious medical issues, SAY NO to life-prolonging medicine. I've worked in nursing homes and I think that the life that is prolonged is NOT WORTH IT. Better to go out quick. Oh yeah, and save millions in medicare $$ that way too.
The hidden solution to the social security shortfall: serious re-thinking on end-of-life Medicare and keeping millions of suffering old patients alive when they'd rather be mercifully put to sleep like a beloved dog. We treat our animals more kindly than our grandparents.
Ooops. Controversial.
Boo hoo! Thanks for listening. | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/28/2007 8:05:33 AM | Men bewarned of 40 something women?!
She made my life a living hell
From morning to night that woman could yell
She would shout abuse and get agitated
If ever I was stupid and for me she had waited
This hell on earth went on for many years
Slowly i resorted to drinking whiskey and beers
But the moaning and groaning was not diminished
Until late at night and the beer was all finished
I was becoming a drunk i was inebriated
And all because I was always berated
I wanted to thump her, I wanted to vanish
It was not to be, to the shed I was banished
I hatched a plot in the back of my brain
I would slit her throat and her money i would gain
But my plot was empty, I had no backbone
And I realised you can't get blood from a stone
What could I do, I could not go on
She would shout at me even from outside the john
"What are you doing, you are spending all day
What's going on in there, get out of my way"
It wasn't always that she was this pain
She was quite plesant, well now and again
This only started in the last few years
Never before had I indulged in the beers
It was coming up to 50 when she started to change
Jez she became a dragon, from her mouth would come flames
Her hot flushes increased, God she so hated me
When the doctor told her she needed HRT
She went from bad to worst over the next few years
A weeping and a wailing and lashings of tears
She grew a moustache and a fine bushy beard
And from her mouth strange mutterings were heard
The woman had changed beyond recognition
I'm sure all you auld lads recognise the condition
You all have my condolenses and my deep felt regrets
As you old woman sounds like she had developed Tourettes
The only solution I can offer to mankind
Is to ensure that come 50 you must leave behind
A woman about to metamorphosis and to change
Into a howling banshee who is slightly deranged
I hear gasps and exclaimations from you mature ladies
Now you no longer want or can have babies
But for generations we men have had to suffer for years
It's you ladies who made us resort to drink beer.
to this problem
To prevent your wife from turning into a goblin
Is never to get married | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/28/2007 8:34:56 AM | I was considering starting my own thread about this subject, but, then I found this one.
I will be the BIG five-o in 13 days. I find myself struggling with depression the last ten days or so.
It's not about getting old per se, I look in the mirror and I don't see a 50 year old woman, nor do I think my attitude is "old". There may be a little bit of struggling with my own mortality.
But, the issue for me is..I'm 50, and I don't seem to have accomplished few,if any, of the origianl goals I set for myself. I have a job I enjoy, which pays well, but it's not what I REALLY wanted to do. I didn't finish the important ( to me) degree I set out to do. I'm divorced. Single. No children. Alone. I have things to keep me busy, and I try to give back to the community.
But, I find myself questioning the value of my life, and my purpose. Was it just to exist? | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/28/2007 8:46:22 AM | age is a state of mind ... so perhaps it's which state your mind is in:-) Try a child's perspective:
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:
"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big
brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with
a lot of other retarded people.
"They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big
tricycles and wear nametags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building
called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now.
"They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming
pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to
swim.
"At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so
nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.
"My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they
just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night: Early Birds. Some of the people can't get
past the man in the dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked
center and call it potluck.
"My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so
I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house.
Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren." | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/28/2007 9:26:15 AM |
I supose as the saying goes, 'your not getting older......your getting better'
repeat l0 times each day for l0 years
messl94 loved the retardment story.lol
quite touching .... | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/28/2007 1:29:08 PM | | I like claypot's response, because I, too, was "born old, and was old as a child." So now I'm "living life in reverse -- and LOVING it!" | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/28/2007 10:03:42 PM | If I'd have known I would have lived this long.....I would have drank better liquor. lol
After a person passes fifty, the physicians want to load you up with a hand full of pills for mornings and night. You wish you'd taken better care of your teeth. You are so happy that the doctor can remove your cataract. It's embarassing to keep asking "what did you say?" When a man is young...having an erection was embarassing, but when he gets old....its a blessing! lol Truthfully its better to age with your partner than to find yourself alone. | |
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| how do you feel about getting old?
Posted: 9/29/2007 1:40:09 AM | | I hate it! I want to stay a kid forever. Getting older sucks, but I guess it's better then the alternative. | |
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