| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 10/13/2006 4:41:31 AM | Because: I think they to f nice girls who are looking for LTR and not the kind who want one night stands Great book to read called "he's just not that into you" by Greg
Berhrend Ya read the book it's easy reading and make ya feel great and understand to dum asses
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Aphorodite == You asked for it.
Book review. He’s Just not that into you
These self help books do far more harm than good. More to the point they are virtually the only large scale source of relationship advice. And they are leading people into relationship disasters. Better advice can be found in university studies and much much better advice can be found in the hands of professional marriage guidance counsellers but the second is only normally consulted AFTER the marriage has run its course. And is on the rocks. Too late then
Not into you Page 1
Introduction By Liz
It started out like any other day. We were pitching around ideas for our fiction stories from Sex and the City and one of the women asked for feedback on the behavior of a man who she liked. He was giving her mixed messages and she was confused.
After much discussion we concluded that she was fabulous and that he must be scared.
But on this day we had a male consultant in the room who gives a straight male perspective. Greg listened and then said to the woman. Listen it sounds like he’s just not into you.
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OK ladies. Listen up! Open your ears and, far more importantly, open your minds. Firstly the average woman is about as “fabulous” as the average man. But the over inflated, and totally fragile female ego can’t handle the possibility of being “average”. This despite the average female making frantic efforts to power dress to the same average as those around her, to date the same type of boyfriends, to patronize the same bars etc etc etc. Baa baa baa!
But Greg couldn’t give the straight male perspective that I am giving because even one female ego couldn’t handle true male honesty, let alone the half a dozen in the average office environment that Greg normally occupies.
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Not into you Page 8
Greg reminded us that we were all beautiful, smart, funny, women and we shouldn’t be wasting our time figuring out why a guy is not calling us.
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===== Greg failed to mention that beautiful is the last on the list of desirable traits that real men seek. The other traits can be as undesirable as desirable. I note that Greg never used the word “horny” when he described the ladies. From a purely sexual point of view that’s a hundred times more important than “beautiful”. From a general point of view the most important characteristic of the lot is “likes men” Most women are actually so conditioned to man hating that even they aren’t aware of how bad they really are.
Smart is desirable. Smart ass is not. Funny ceases to be funny, in a hell of a hurry, if funny consists of a continuous stream of malicious jokes about men. To get some idea of how unfunny this sort of thing becomes, in a hurry, try spending a couple of days cracking nothing but blonde jokes and see how fast the blondes in the office lose their sense of humor.
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Page 9
You are all dating the same guy.
Hey I know that guy you are dating
Yea I do. He’s that guy who’s so tired from work, so stressed about the project he’s working on. He just been through an awful break and it’s really hitting him hard. His parents divorce has scarred him and he has trust issues. Right now he has to focus on his career. He can’t get involved with anyone until he knows what his life is about. He’s just got a new apartment and the move is a **** As soon as it calms down he’ll leave his wife, girlfriend, crappy job. God he’s so complicated.
He is a man made up entirely of Your excuses. Reasons that you would consider perfectly valid for knocking back any guy. The minute you stop making excuses for him he will completely disappear from your life .
Are there men who are too busy, or have been through something so horrible that makes them hard to get involved? Yes, but there are so few of them that they should be concerned urban legends.
For, as already suggested, a man would rather be trampled by elephants than tell you that he’s not into you.
That’s why we have written this book so that they can be seen for what they are. Really bad excuses.
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(English Translation)
Hey I know that guy you are dating
Yea I do. He’s that guy who’s so tired from working seventy hours a week because it s that or he’s on the dole, and that’s not counting the stress itself. He gets home, picks up the phone to ring you, stretches out on the couch to get comfortable and bang, its dawn. He’s fallen asleep mid dial. That’s how hard he’s been working.
He just been through the kind of awful break up that leads one in thirteen of these guys to suicide. Forget everything you have ever heard about youth suicide. Guys outnumber girls by three to one in the suicide data and post divorce trauma accounts for twice as many suicides as all the rest put together. Almost all of them guys! Yes! He is doing it that hard. His parents divorce has scarred him since the day he sought out the long lost dad who his mum told him had abandoned him ten years ago. That dad has told him that, contrary to the man hating lies of his mum, he has been paying full maintenance, and has sent him a present every birthday and Christmas even if mum made sure he never received them.. And that dad has been living in a residential trailer park on an income of twenty dollars a week, by the time the tax man and the maintenance women have helped themselves to his pay envelope.
Right now he has to focus on his career or he will have no career whatsoever. Not even just a job. He can’t get involved with anyone unless she’s the absolute perfect woman who definitely delivers the commitment she expects. If, and only if, it calms down he’ll dump his crappy wife, and if and only if, he can find a better one he will leave his crappy job.
He is a man made up entirely of his own perfectly valid reasons. Reasons that you would consider perfectly valid for knocking back any guy who was bothering you when you had other things on your mind.
The minute you stop making allowances for them he will certainly disappear from your life and will possibly suicide. Not your fault of course although your dumping him may have been the last straw, It’s actually the fault of an abusive ex and an abusive court system.
Are there men who truly fit this mould. Yes! Quite literally millions of them. Almost every man who divorces seriously contemplates suicide at some stage and that one in thirteen are only the ones who happen to succeed. That one in thirteen accounts for as many dead bodies as the total number of road deaths.
But, because you are so hung up on the idea of a handsome prince the average ordinary, abused, male would rather be trampled by elephants than tell you the real reason that he’s not into you.
No female is game to put these reasons to print. To really get them out of the closet. These “really bad excuses” cop a heap of sympathy when the women use them as excuses to skip the dating game and the women aren’t the ones so distressed that they are blowing their brains out. | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 10/13/2006 7:02:47 PM | | Because they are good at it and know exactly how to play the innocent,this is something i have learned big time,i now realize some have let the online thing destroy everything good when it comes to loving someone again,not all men but many,the same goes for the women,the gate swings both ways,but when it comes to someone truly looking for love and settleing down again for heavens sake dont hurt then they are here honestly looking, | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 10/13/2006 7:29:10 PM | | I just wanted to chime in for a second and say that I have read the book "He's just not that into you" and I will tell any woman it is a must read. It really makes perfect sense and once you start to see some of the wisdom in this book and apply it to your own dating experiences, it makes things a little easier to deal with. | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 10/14/2006 2:01:56 AM | LOL. I glad I saw the LOL....... I was worried about you.... and its not so much the men, it's HOW women go about meeting the kind of guy that a want. I have the answer an a fool proof plan. If your interested and serious, let tme know.
Los Endos | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 10/14/2006 6:40:19 AM | | Have you heard the saying, "He's not a jerk, he's just a jerk to you." Same goes with, "She's not a ****, she's just a **** to you." The idea is that if you treat someone a certain way, they'll treat you a certain way. In your case, you're probably treating them as though they have the power to do anything in your online relationship. You might also be flirting too much and indicating to them that you only want to flirt. Have you wondered why slutty girls complain about only attracting jerks who want to use them for sex? Well it happens and the reason they attract jerks who want to use them for sex is because they act like sluts who are easy to use for sex. | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 2/19/2009 6:17:37 PM | | LMAO, come on people, this is to funny. boy's want to get laid. Some men want to be mentally stimulated before ever thinking of a sexual relationship. how is it alot of you say " friends first" , but it turns into a game, for some seek and destory, some a ego thing, some thrill of the chase.both sides have issues | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 2/19/2009 7:57:58 PM | One thing you should look at where you are meeting these guys. The environment tells you a lot about some or most of the people in it. The way a person carries them draws a certain type of attraction. One of the key things is don't let your feelings get away from you. Women are more emotional than men and their feelings come into play faster. When this situation happens, most of the time the women will think the guy is toying with her heart and/or her mind. This is not always the case. This is the point a non-bias conversation should take place one-on-one and face-to-face not on the phone or through text messaging. People are always pointing the finger at the other person, sometimes the problem is us and not them. Wait, what am I thinking? We as individuals are perfect with no flaws, yeah right, time to realize who you really are. We all have our flaws. I know I have mine.
In my opinion men & women are so stuck on what our own personal values and image, we don't take time out to try and understand each other ( in relationships that is). I'm guilty as well as millions of other people out there. The the key is to know you are guilty and start doing something to correct it and stop blaming other people all the time. | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 2/19/2009 8:27:27 PM | I agree that goes both ways. I have received emails from women overseas, but on their profile it says they are from Kansas, New York or some where else in the states. If you are going to use and uncontrolled dating site to possibily meet some you have to expect things like that.
I did a test a few times on different dating sites. I made two profiles. One protrayed the true me (professional) and the other one a thug. The thug profile got over 100 hits in one week, while the other one only got 15 hits on one site. The messages were disappointing, on the thug profile women wanted to meet for lunch, at the city park and other places. The professional profile nothing. I sent out over 30 messages with the professional profile and got only three responses if I remember right, maybe four. I did this one five different dating sites and on every site the women went for the thug profile (thats sad), but women want Mr. Right.
So it not just the men on these sites. You can't get the good cookie without opening the package. Dating takes time and effort. Ask yourself what type of cookie do you want. The one thats been sitting on the counter for days or the one in the package. The one on the counter is very easy to get to but it's damage (stale, soft and just no good). The one in the package you have to take a little effort and time to open it (fresh, firm, taste good and better for you). | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 5/20/2009 11:35:51 AM | | I agree! I just had this happen to me! I gave up my job and my apartment and moved t where he was! I still think that hes my soul mate, but after I went to him, less then 12 hours he told me he could do this and it wouldnt work! We live 5 hours away from each other and really hit it off on pof and then instant messaging and then talking on phone for weeks! When we met it was the same way! He even said that is was great that we were so connected! Then like I said I gave every thing to be with him and all he could say was its not gonna work! Get this he aslo told me in a tex message cause he couldnt face me! I moved back to my home town! So what happens if you really belive he is your soul mate and he turns out like this! How do you get over that! It hurs like HELL! Why cant men be honest! His profile also said long term! I agree with you 100%! | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:17:21 PM | pretty impetuous to give everything up before actually trying it out.
you never know someone until you try to live with them
dates and emails don't mean much. and someone saying long term ....
that is just pie in the sky wishful thinking ...
everyone would like long term ... but to expect it is a fantasy. ...
all statistics are against it.
next time ... move in but keep your place for at least a month.
your job ... well if it was a min.wage job ... no biggie ... but anything else ... no offense but that is just nuts unless you have lined up a new job.
Why the hell didn't you do some sleepovers first ... see if you can handle eachother for a weekend at a time ... then maybe for a week ... before thinking you could just move in and have a happily ever after. Your lucky it was only 12 hours ... it could have been a few months and then it really would have been a disaster. ...
He was being honest with you ... just at first not being honest with himself.
The other email and phone stuff was just both of you in a fantasy world. | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 5/20/2009 10:07:35 PM | | Oh come on ,its been the same since the dawn of time, Men will tell women what they want to hear to get in their pants, women just have to be patient and make it a little harder. Its not just us men that are missrepresenting themselves on here...I dont think its right but it is what it is. | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 5/20/2009 10:55:23 PM | | We aren't playing games, and do you really jump into bed with a guy before developing some kind of relationship? A one night stand only occures if you let it. Do you really think that most men want to spend so much time and effort for just one night? Part of the whole dating thing is to see how well you get along with a person, and that takes time. Many times after a few dates you can tell it isn't going to work so you end it. That doesn't mean we just wanted a one night stand, it just means that it didn't work. If a lot of guys you meet seem to decide that you're not the one for them right after your first sexual interaction, maybe you need to improve on you bedroom skills. | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 6/10/2009 10:54:50 PM | | I really don't think there are very many people out there who will "play games" with your heart out of pure spite and the simple "thrill" of it all. My personal perception of this phenomenon is that it is all about how YOU are percieving it. Just because two people get together and have a few intimate moments, does not equate to one person taking advantage of another. When we just happen to be the one who wants more, we tend to rationalize that we've been used because the other person just happens to feel differently. This is simple psychiatry; though no easier to deal with, I'm sure. | |
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| why do alot of men just want to play games with your heart!!
Posted: 6/11/2009 9:42:42 AM | | well some men they dont want to be attach again and there only looking to have a good time but some womans well they open to much and they get to trust that person and then telling him everything and then bang they get hurt the only way a woman can do its not to tell the guy everything wright away then after a she gets to know him well the verry slowly she can start telling him what she wants some times it works and some time it dont so its a chance shes taking well in this new age well every ones they only want to have a good time and then move on but if anyone wants to have a good time well they should put it on the profile only for a good time so that way no one gets hurt and the two of them know the outcome of it .hope that can help u if any ok . | |
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