| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 8:18:10 PM | | "Sometimes in order to rise up you have to see what's beneath you" neitsche | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 8:19:30 PM | | I am picky to a certain degree. I do not want a guy that is a jerk. I want to be treated with respect and be treated as a lady. I want to be pampered and I realize that some guys would like that too. Yes, it is ok to be picky as long as it is within reason. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 8:22:23 PM | I am guilty of being too picky, go ahead and shoot me!!! I have high standard and I have the right to be picky lol. Peace!!!!   | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 8:43:06 PM | bucsgoil said:
Maybe it's just verbage but it's fine to expand your parameters a bit.
Yeah, there's alot of talk in threads like this about raising and lowering standards, when actually it's more about giving ourselves more choices.
We all know the stories about the folks who devise entire shopping lists of qualities required in a partner, just to go out-and-out bananas over someone completely different.
Stories like that won't happen here. Because online, all we have are the grocery lists. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 9:13:06 PM | | I think "picky" is the wrong choice of word. In life, we tend to set standards, standards in which people who are seriously interested should meet. I think people tend to settle, making themselves miserable in the process. As with anything, set your standards according to how you see fit and hopefully that person(s) will come your way. As for myself, I'm extremely picky - why not? Should I ever choose to re-visit marriage, I would want to have the best compatible person by myside thus in the long run making me happy :-) | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 11:45:47 PM | I think its just hard to find the one we want to settle in on.
Out of curiousity, why would it be hard and in what way do you mean it?
I agree that it is hard to find the right one for you , trust me I am going through it now. It seems because of the falling values and morals that seem to be going on that it is getting harder and harder to ind that love of your life. But there are peole out there that don't settle when they CAN or they HAVE the opportunity to settle but choose not to over (what I and many others see as ) silly and trivial reasons.
But I get what you mean.
So ultimately (as I said repeatedly throughout the forums) It comes down to motive and what the reason beind being picky is.
By the way, Please pardon my typo errors , I don't know whats been going on lately with me but the past few weeks my typing has been nasty and sloppy. lol | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 12:02:20 AM |
But there are peole out there that don't settle when they CAN or they HAVE the opportunity to settle but choose not to over (what I and many others see as ) silly and trivial reasons. I don't think anyone should settle no matter if others feel we may be too "picky" or have silly and trivial reasons for not wanting to be with someone.
If the values and morals are falling ... too bad. I'm not lowering my values or morals just so a man with lesser values or morals will fit my criteria for a partner ... that's BS!
That would be like saying that ...
*Just because men no longer want a "smart" woman that I should "dumb" myself down for them.
OR
*Just because men no longer want a "clean" woman that I should just not bother to shower any more! | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 12:05:53 AM | | I have to say that what blueeyes4u59 said... took the words right ouf ot my mouth. I do think that we all want someone who 'wows' us... I wanted someone who 'wowed' me, and luckily, I found him.But it wasn't easy, and I DID have to think 'out of the box' to find him. Picky... well, yes. I think to some extent we're all picky. I think some people are out of their minds picky, but, that's not everyone, just some. LOL. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 12:07:51 AM | I don't think anyone should settle no matter if others feel we may be too "picky" or have silly and trivial reasons for not wanting to be with someone.
If the values and morals are falling ... too bad. I'm not lowering my values or morals just so a man with lesser values or morals will fit my criteria for a partner ... that's BS!
That would be like saying that ...
*Just because men no longer want a "smart" woman that I should "dumb" myself down for them.
OR
*Just because men no longer want a "clean" woman that I should just not bother to shower any more!
No I didn't say settling for lower morals and values, never, i am against that, When I said "trivial" things I did not mean value and morals, those are extremely important and those are one of the things we should NOT settle for if a person has low morals and values etc. You misunderstood me, I agree with you on that. Values and morals are very important and I have high moral standards myself.
When i said trivial I was meaning more on the physical /materialistic level, as in race, or colour of someones eyes or hair , car or luxerious and stuff like that!!
I never said settle for anyone with less morals or values. Thats a big no no with me. lol | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 12:17:07 AM | ^^^ Oh ... my bad about morals and values misunderstanding!
And as far as materialistic stuff goes, I don't care about that ... however, I do have ideas about physical status, and I won't cave on that one.  | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 2:50:17 AM | the more secure and happy we are with ourselves and who we are, the more adamant we become about who and what we desire. It makes total sense. Less we become lonely and frightened, and haphazardly grasp at the first thing that comes along. Paying us any attention. Making two miserable people in the process.
So raise that bar to the gates of heaven, never faltering and be patient.
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 4:29:37 AM | "Stories like that won't hapen here. Because online, all we have are the grocery lists."
Great wisdom here, Mtloophiker. I think that the greatest loss is when the grocery list is based on superficialities, such as appearance or material status. It seems that many men will only date a beautiful, slender woman--a 10. These men fail to recognize the value and potential delights of a woman of lesser ranking, a woman who is merely pretty and maybe a few pounds overweight. I have heard men complain that many women will only date a man with money, that they base a man's worth on what he can provide for her materially. In the same way, these women are missing the delights that a man with lesser means can bring her.
Some people remain involved in online dating for years, seeking something that they may find they don't even want, once they think they've found it.
I hope you find the woman you seek, Mtloophiker! | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 5:26:17 AM | | I'm a little picky, but I don't seek perfection. I just want someone that I'm into and she's into me. It's not black and white. It's a giant grey area that many many women could fill. So I don't think I'm limiting myself really. I just have a type of girl I'm interested in and anything outside of that is just setting myself up for failure because I won't be happy in the long run. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 6:15:30 AM | Sambucadawg makes complete and utter sense on this matter, and funnily, I was discussing this with some friends the other day. Romantic attraction is similar to our "attraction" to food in many respects - we just don't get a choice, we're a slave to our tastebuds and we're not gonna scoff the food we dislike. When we go shopping, we are discerning about what we put in our trolley, are we not? We browse the shelves and only select the stuff we know we like and completely disregard the stuff that makes us balk or turn our noses up. Well, looking for a partner's the same. So, while we may not have much choice in who or what we're attracted to, we DO have a choice when it comes down to what we put in our baskets! And thank goodness we do! All hail Pickiness!!!
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 7:27:02 AM | I'm not going to go for someone that doesn't do it for me just for the sake of being in a relationship. That's dumb.
I'll wait until the day I die for someone who's perfect for me to come along, and if he never does that's fine and dandy too. There's lots of freedom in being comfortable with yourself and not minding being alone. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 7:39:46 AM | She said trolley...lol. Gotta love the british lingo.
I beg your parcels? Why what du u yankee doodles say? Please enlighten.. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 7:53:05 AM | | I think that because we have so many options here that most people here dont seem to take the time and get to know the person even if things went fairly well. they are thinking well im still talking to that guy and I still want to meet him.... | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 8:24:19 AM | I find less than 1% of the women here of any interest to me. And it seems that women on POF consider only 1% of the men worthy of consideration. Since I rarely send out messages and you're likely sending none, the chances that your 1% will coincide with my 1% are statistically insignificant. Seriously, in real life women drool over me, online I'm barely noticeable. But it's still good entertainment. I message women telling them that I want to bend them over. If they're still picky, then I increase my chances by promising them that it won't hurt. Am I picky or what? 
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 8:43:16 AM |
don't be stupid people... you abuse your powers..
LMAO ~ this is why we are picky. 
~OT~ I'm picky, very. I have no intention on that changing. I want what I want and I am not about to settle for less than that. Likewise, if I actually do finally meet someone, I hope he feels exactly the same.  | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 9:26:13 AM | | No! I'm not too picky; I'm realistic. With input from others, I evaluate myself to see what I bring to the table. If I believe I am at the 80 percentile in overall desirability, I will not accept anyone much below that percentile. And, I will not waste my time seeking someone in the 90 percentile or above because that would be hopeless. Otherwise, I will settle for whom I can get. However, I will not settle for anyone more than a few percentile points below that which I can get. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 9:29:35 AM |
I beg your parcels? Why what du u yankee doodles say? Please enlighten
We say "grocery cart", love. A trolley here is a like a train that rides on tracks and carries people. Sometimes a trolley will have wheels like a bus, too..but still looks like a train car. Mostly used for short distance transportation. Weird, huh? | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 10:26:14 AM | "Shopping lists" and "must haves" are just wishful thinking, real life doesn't work that way. In the real world you fall for somebody and everything on your list goes out the window, and you "settle" -- because attraction is involuntary, not based on logic. But you're not gonna fall for somebody online, because all you see is just profiles, and you'll never find real "attraction" by staring at your computer screen and shopping for a pretty face. People falsely believe that they're intuitive enough to spot the perfect match through a small photo and a blurb. I'm not that perceptive, nobody is. The only way is to talk with a lot of people and never judge anyone until you've met them in person. But people online are not talking, 99% of message traffic is useless because people don't know how to communicate and to relate without the physical presence. So just have fun, it's playtime 
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 10:39:22 AM | What it all comes down to is that no matter what criteria people use to filter prospective partners, you still need to be open minded enough to (actually) meet people, to really find out if there's chemistry between you.
Remember, even opposites attract! And live very happy lives together. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/6/2006 10:41:08 AM | people who judge someone completely on their pics alone, without checking their profile.. are a waste of peoples time!
they really are unable to broaden their minds.. | |
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