| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/7/2006 11:51:42 AM | G'nut: I have arrived at "intimate encounter" after removing the other options. My heart's desire is a life-long, romantic relationship, even marriage. And at 47, life-long is not that long anymore. Next to that I would go for a lasting, meaningful long term relationship, or LTR. Since that escapes me, I demote next to dating, however, unable to get a date and not wishing to forgo sex altogether, the friendship category is out, which leaves me here hoping for at least an intimate encounter. Yet women are picky even about whom they let bounce them around on the bed, as luck has it. Alas... | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/7/2006 11:54:22 AM | Referring to: "online dating is like grocery shopping...you're only going to go for the best produce on the shelf".
But what is the "best produce"? Doesn't that definition vary widely from person to person? For me, a man being conventionally gorgeous is actually a detriment--for various reasons, I avoid men who are prettier than me (and I'm damned pretty ) I look for an intellectual man with emotional depth. I couldn't care less how much money he makes, so long as he doesn't expect me to financially support him. The next woman's shopping list may involve a man who is rich and gorgeous, and she couldn't care less about his intellectual depth.
I may not be the "best produce" for one man, but I may well be for another. To each his/her own. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:00:53 PM | I am not TOO picky...but yes, I am going to be selective. Why should I waste my time or my date's time by going out with someone who is not compatible with me?
I have learned that I need to find someone high energy and also fit....and I am holding out for that regardless of how long it takes. | |
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Meface
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Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 79 | |
| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:12:26 PM | I really take exception and just plain object to you guys who are calling other human beings trash and a waste of time. Criminals who have done hard time can be rehablititated. Even Bush, whom I intensely dislike, showed us that people who've been on welfare 25 years can get a job. There is no reason for all this hostility.
Certainly, you are looking for whom you are looking for. But a lot of you are forgetting that you are not GOD. We've had so many prosperity seminars here in America, we think we are the author of all our experience. You have met each person you have met for a reason. You may not know that reason. Maybe you'll never know that reason. To turn them on to a job opportunity, to turn them onto an investment, a self help book that will change the direction of their life. What about to have a little fun today? My goodness. Aren't we demanding. Do you walk up to the Author of Creation on his golden throne and just throw a tantrum--I want such and such right now? I'm filing a greivance with my union.
I find that as I grow older and grow wiser, who I'm looking for changes. I used to go for very hot, gorgeous, long haired guys with almost no income. Oh, they were hot in bed. Sure. We even thought we were in love for awhile. Now I go more for nice and financially stable. What you think you're looking is very temporary and often just based on your hormone level. What happens when that changes? | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/7/2006 5:32:34 PM | Yes, I'm picky !!! ... But I deserve the best & refuse to settle for less !! ... I AM looking for Ms. PERFECT & untill I find her, I'll continue to enjoy my own company ... which "ain't that bad"  | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:05:44 PM | | I've settled for girls at times when I knew I could do better but it's so hard to find anyone interesting let alone a knockout and I really don't care most of the time for a girl that is all looks because usually they have no personality but us guys most of the times go for the looks unfortunately over the whole package. But I've had so many bad experiences out of my stupid blunt mouth or not really thinking that now I am just looking for a nice,pretty girl with a good personality lord knows they are out there but hard to find. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/7/2006 10:24:34 PM | This is from another thread I posted to But it has been passed around the intenet emails for a year or so. Im not religous so ignore the love the lord stuff but it still is humuorus.
Husband Store:
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York
City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase
as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love
kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims,
"I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and
sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 12:01:39 PM | Yes...I'm very PARTICULAR with who I date. I am also one who wants her socks to roll up and down...also like toes to curl~ lmao!!!
If I feel there are no "sparks" then I'm not gonna drag anything out. I know what I want, and what I don't want. I'm NOT going to settle for anything less. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 12:54:56 PM | picky, but realistic....
there is something I still ponder....every once in awhile the doubt does creep in!
food for thought......since we're talking produce and groceries! | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 6:31:53 PM | | In my early years, I was very picky too. I usually broke it off after the 3rd date. Within the last 10 years, I have lowered my standards and as a result my relationships didn't work out. Right now, I choose not to waste my time with anyone who is not right for me. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 7:00:50 PM | Attraction's not a choice...On either end.
Decide what you want; do what you have to do to get it.
I wrote Bridget Fonda---
And she replied! | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 7:03:01 PM | | Yeah? Well, I wrote to Captain Kirk and he sent me his picture. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 9:44:19 PM | Oh no I'm not being picky at all. I have a few standards though. I use to have high standards but noticed that I ended up dating pretty morons or complete narcissistic magelomaniac freaks who wanted to rule the world..or at least mine...been there done that, don't think I much care for the idea anymore. I have 10 simple requirements:
1) I must be attracted to him.
2) He must be able to hold a conversation.
3) He must like me as a person.
4) He must be attracted to me.
5) I require someone with an open mind.
6) Must attempt to get along with my kids. This may or may not work due to the fact that children almost always attempt to end a relationships because they want Mommy or Daddy to themselves. So it takes a little more patience on their part to work our way through until we can all get along.
7) Must have patience and be able to communicate (if I'm being an evil **** and driving him nuts don't just walk away, or yell and get angry..laugh at me and ask if I'm done yet...let me spaz..laugh at me again..then kiss me).
8) Have a good sense of humor, be able to laugh at life, himself, and me...we'll both laugh at the kids they're retarded like their Mama.
9) Attempt to get along with my Friends and Family(had one antisocial..I never want another).
10) Attend stupid work functions with me, and I will be the dutiful girlfriend/wife for them in return.
Am I being picky?
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:28:33 PM | Im extremely picky.
I was a fat ass kid. The only girl that dated me in highschool is actually a very well known member here. I a was an overgrown geek with no redeeming qualities. I was never the guy who got the girl. I was the guy who got made fun of by the girl.
Now my shoulders are twice as wide, my waist is half as wide, and I find many of those girls who would have once made fun of me, the ones who rejected me, and called me names, and destroyed my ego, would now jump at any chance to be around me. They disgust me.
I tend to like quiet girls. Sweet, pretty, easy going girls who like to laugh and talk. Intelligent girls with morals. I also seem to get along better with girls a little older than me. I prefer a girl with a job, not because I need money, I have a great job, but its nice to be with someone who is financially independant. I want a girl who I can trust, who trusts me. Who enjoys being treated like a princess sometimes, but doesnt expect it constantly. A girl who will give some moral support in whateverwhat I do, one who doesnt mind hanging out with friends once in a while, I dont mind hanging out with hers. Someone who likes to barbecue, maybe play a little catch, even if she's not very good at it. Someone who tells me what she wants and when im doing something she doesnt like. And it'd be an awesome bonus if she was a Boston Bruins fan. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:34:16 PM | | Understanding your past and how difficult things were for you, does that mean you'll also date the fat girls? | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:50:13 PM | Probably not. I would never make fun of them or hurt their feelings, im just not physicly attracted to women who are extremely overweight. SHe could be the nicest girl in the world, i still couldnt date someone im not physicly attracted to.
Thats obesity, not someone whos 20 pounds overweight. I dont mind a set of hips on a girl.. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:51:46 PM | I find many of those girls who would have once made fun of me, the ones who rejected me, and called me names, and destroyed my ego, would now jump at any chance to be around me. They disgust me.
So now you've *become* them by finding overweight people unattractive physically and not dating them, exactly as they did to you all those years ago. I'd call that picky, yeah. And that other word. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:52:04 PM | | I couldn't not be physically attracted to someone I loved. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 11:03:37 PM | Some are, some aren't, it tends to vary. I am not picky about height, that really has nothing to do with what a person is like, unless they are one of those rare folks with a Napoleonic complex. I do prefer people who have opted out of smoking, along with some other things.
I think what it basically comes down to is someone you get along with and have chemistry with.{And as mentioned in another post doesn't have an annoying voice or other attributes that drive you up a wall.} Someone I like may be someone another lady would wonder what I see in him, it all is individual, or as said on one TV show, on a *case by case* basis. The only ones I don't answer are the occasional nut cases.... | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 11:03:41 PM | | I personally believe that being picky when it comes to dating is a GOOD thing. For me, I would never want to settle for someone I wasn't 100% satisfied with, because I'd always be wondering if I would have been happier with someone else. That's not to say that I wouldn't talk to, and be friends with people I wasn't attracted to on say, a physical, or a psychological level... but for me to have a long-term, meaningful relationship with someone, I would have to be attracted to them on ALL levels, and that is something I never have, nor ever WILL compromise on... to me, if you settle for dating someone you're not attracted to, you're only cheating yourself, and risking nothing but your own happiness. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 11:04:02 PM | Once we see what marriage can be and what it can't be,
we're in the position of trying to avoid certain aspects of it.
Unfortunately, that really can't happen since we have to take some bad with the good. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 11:16:55 PM |
So now you've *become* them by finding overweight people unattractive physically and not dating them, exactly as they did to you all those years ago. I'd call that picky, yeah. And that other word.
No, I havent become anything. I take care of myself. I get up in the morning 4x a week and do cardio before breakfast, I weight train 6days a week, as well as train abs, obliques, forearms and calves every second day. I eat 6 good, nutritious, measured meals a day. Im clean, I dress well (Actually, I get female friends to dress me well  )
I dont expect any girl I date to do that, I do it for me, I enjoy my training, and it makes me feel good about myself. But I do want a woman who takes care of herself and can do a little physical activity. I like to hike, snowboard, ride motorcycles, I fill my life with fun activities. I dont expect anyone to do all of them, but it'd be nice if she came out with me when she had time to enjoy the outdoors a little bit.. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/8/2006 11:40:11 PM | No one has to settle for someone who isn't attractive to them, and without physical attraction no other more meaningful attraction will happen. That is human nature and no amount of griping or misplaced reason will change that. That is pure science.
However, it seems that there are too many looking for the mythical "soulmate" when in fact there is no such thing, in this context. The possibility of there being one is rank stupidity.
There are any number of people, possibly hundreds, that any one of us could be happy / compatable / viable/ with, and finding the one that suits us best on "most" fronts is the key to the game. From then on its a matter of respect for each other / a massive amount of compromise on both persons part / a complete giving over of feelings and devotion by both parties / trust / massive amounts of forgiveness and even higher quantities of understanding / and the largest leap of all is love. Couple this mixture to massive amounts of work to maintain the relationship, without becomming complacent and you have a good situation.
But.......there is no one and only ..... otherwise there would be no such thing as divorce. We would just hook up and know we were there.
There are many people who are too picky and overlook the possible great person, because of an unswaying course to find the "perfect" person and an unwillingness to compromise a little......not a lot, just a minor sway.
Generally they will remain alone till it hits them that they are alone.
Others carry their baggage right out for all to see, and judge others by previous experiences. This is just a recepie for failure. The baggage has to be thrown away completely and view the world and others with new eyes and no expectations.
No-one should settle for less than the attraction they desire, but no-one should ever be judged by standards set by others experiences, and by unreasonable expectations. And no-one should ever have to be in any sort of relationship without compromise and forgiveness. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/9/2006 5:58:03 AM | Why shouldn't Anti-hero get the girl he wants? I wouldn't want to date someone who didn't find me attractive..Should it be forced upon Anti-hero just to prove that he is a nice guy? No...
He can't help who he is attracted to, he probably was attracted to the pretty/shy girls in highschool but because of his own weight problems, he was probably too insecure to go after what he wanted and now that he is in better shape he has the security and self esteem to actually make his desire happen. You can't fault him for that. | |
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