| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/9/2006 8:52:11 AM | | ^^^ no ones faulting him amberkings....by Antis postings, he was on the other side of those poeple...now he stands on the same side and looks down at others from that side....just hopefully he keeps a perspective of whats real ...is all some were trying to say...its amazing when you put yourself in others shoe an see the reality. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:39:02 AM |
Thats obesity, not someone whos 20 pounds overweight. I dont mind a set of hips on a girl..
Sorry I have to defend him on this one…this is what he said he doesn’t want to date someone EXTREMELY overweight. I can understand this. I love a man with a little meat on their bones, but I do not want to date someone super monstrously obese.
So now you've *become* them by finding overweight people unattractive physically and not dating them, exactly as they did to you all those years ago. I'd call that picky, yeah. And that other word.
You left out that they called him names and made fun of him…that’s what destroys egos a little rejection isn’t a terrible thing we all go through it. Its when it’s accompanied by teasing and mean comments that it destroys egos. He said OBESE people are unattractive. And even gave a 20lb leeway which I think is good. A lot of us gals are in between and have that extra 20lbs that don’t seem to want to go away. I don’t think that’s too picky. I think that’s being honest with what he’s looking for. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/9/2006 11:03:36 AM | | I am definately picky. But am i supposed to lower my standards then? I definately cannot change the fact that I want a respectful/intelligent/loving guy. If i am not getting respect and love-why be with someone? So-is it the physical/attraction aspects I should compromise on? I have seriously wondered this lately. Should i try to get to know ppl better-not expect instant attraction? Its not really my style to wait for attraction to build. I am either atttracted instantly-then get to know them personally-or no attraction and move on. I do wonder what mistakes I am making in choosing certain guys to date-and what i can change to find the right one. Or do I need to stop searching? | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/10/2006 8:45:29 PM | | to me...he must have killer eyes an a smile....for i tend to look at them constantly. i dont judge a guy by his weight....lets face it..there are alot of guys out the with beer bellies an thats ok with me. i look for his heart an soul what he has to offer to another. looks can come a go...just like people do in our lives....but a soul remains forever. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/10/2006 11:22:04 PM | r u to picky when it comes to looks or body size,hair color what?maybe thats why you are alone.......what someone looks like or the color of their hair or any physical part of them doesnt make them who they are on the inside.......this is the problem with most men today, they want what society and tv are sending out all over the world as the perfect person..........well, being skinny and beautiful doesnt make you honest and compasionate | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/10/2006 11:41:33 PM | On the other hand, being BBW or BBT, or altitudinally challenged or Silver haired doesn't make you an honest or compassionate either........ Lady, just drop the club, and step away. Look we as social people, have our likes and dislikes, that doesn't mean I want to be sitting across the table, from a Dislike column galore just be cause she's honest and /or compassionate, too. Most of us, are a visually stimulated, M & F at what ever turns us, To the sight impaired, I'm sorry if you feel this...in braille
But really, either you look for what you want or you don't, Or they may come looking.......
for YOU!!! And then come the questions. Their colums of likes and dislikes. Think about it, and while you're thinking about it.........Other people, are out there doing it.
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Derps
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Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 108 | |
| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/11/2006 12:21:28 AM | | i see no problem with being picky, why settle for less then you deserve, i found that out the hard way and settled for way less, its just cheating yourself if you settle for less. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/11/2006 7:22:58 AM | Sure we are picky. Why should we repeat the mistakes of the past, I don't think being picky is a bad thing, we should know ourselves well enough to know what works for us. We know what is atractive to us and what kind of personalities we get along best with. If you love to laugh no point in being with a grouch.
All the best, | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/11/2006 7:24:47 AM | | i agree absolutely avalon, there is nothing wrong with being SELECTIVE.... | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/11/2006 7:27:11 AM | | Being selective, don’t want to settle. Years later you’re all still here looking for what is obviously impossible to find. To each it’s own I suppose….. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/11/2006 7:51:14 AM | I have also observed what you say, Funme...years later and people are still here looking for what is impossible to find. I playfully refer to online dating as the Land of the Superficial. So much is based on that first photograph--a static, one-dimensional photograph. Perhaps if more people looked beyond that photograph into the real person behind the photo, more people would find their true match.
I never determine whether or not to connect with someone on a photograph. I mean NEVER. Emails and telephone calls are a much better screening device. Besides, I have yet to meet a man who matched my image of the man in the photograph. Their personality shaped how I perceived the man--for better or for worse. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:28:21 AM | | I don't think our true match is impossible to find, but it can be difficult to search when all you have is the written word on a screen and someones best pic, and it is impossible to meet everyone and even if you did, it would take time to know if that person is really for you, for then we have to look behind the initial attraction. we deserve to be picky. I think the problem often lies in the fact that we have to make judgement quickly, especially in dealing with people looking for long term commitment right from the start, how fast do they want to move the relationship along, are we comfortable at that pace. May be impossible to stay around long enough to see if a person is compatable, if we feel we are being rushed. the way I look at it there is lots of time, and we should be as picky as we can, there is a lot at stake. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:40:06 AM | Why is that? I find it as the older I get the more I get picky. I would not lower my standards just to please anyone.
It is ok to want more than just instant gratification(how ever u spell it). | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:58:42 AM | no I don't think so really i think were all too scared if you want my honest opinion, I hear about guys who don't call don't show up on dates etc. I also found the same type of thing with the women on here, all talk not much in way of action [no not sex] just in general. they also say they will call but they have a twist in how they do it lol they will give you their phone# tell you to call then not answer the phone and if you call twice YOU ARE LABELED A STALKER how dumb is that? so are we too picky? well?? now that I'm thinking about it I think stupid and childish about sums it up
the capn' | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 6:31:20 AM | I have to agree with the Captain on this one
a lot of stupid and childish people out there. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:37:01 AM | ya wanna laugh? this sort of fits with this thread at least it fits in what I said in it anyway in between forums fun with the capn' I sometimes get serious and write to a female who catches my eye so I wrote a nice but brief note to this woman and in one of her pics she was at a car wash that i recognised so I pointed it out I said hey I know that place it's in hamden ct on whatever road. I go to that one myself that was it among other things that interested me in her profile so within ten minutes I get a note back from her " I'm sorry but I'm not interested as soon as you mentioned the car wash i immediately thought stalker and one can never be too careful on these sites" are you kidding me? is all I could think of but believe me she got a much better response, I won't bore you with it, so you see I was right! scared little people who have no idea what a stalker is- none- I found the whole thing insulting, people get a FN grip on what a stalker is please this is getting out of control what's the point of being on here if your first thought is always going to be ohh my he might be a stalker, my god I wouldn't waste my time stalking anybody, this one pissed me off
the capn' | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:38:24 AM | I understand your frustration, Capnstinkfish. The sad thing is that women sometimes deal with crazies on these sites (and other places). Two years ago I encountered one of these crazies (there was not a second date). This man has cyber-stalked me ever since. He posts fake profiles, contacts me, and then lets little hints slip out as to who he is. He must have a lot of time to waste. I came to recognize his MO and now ignore his messages.
This hasn't affected my willingness to be on an online dating site, but it has made me more cautious. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:39:12 AM | Sometimes I think I'm too picky, but then, there has to be that physical attraction, so if it isn't there, it isn't going to work.
I've dated men where I wasn't initially physically attracted to them, but they had great personalities and had their lives together. In the end, the physical won out, I'm ashamed to say.
There's something about that "spark" that just cannot be denied. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:48:51 AM | garden nut
mua haha mua haha mua haha
I'm your stalker mua haha
nope don't have the time but I would stalk you if i did have the time, did you like that part?
but in all honesty yeah it's getting annoying and I understand completely one should conduct themselves as safely as possible BUT don't you think it's kind of dumb that just because I recognised a car wash in a picture I should have to hear I'm somehow stalker material?....screw her or rather someone else screw her because that is plain paranoia in my book and if your that bad off you should not only be off a dating site but should also be out of dating completely and under a doctors supervision IMHO
you know the song
the capn' | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:59:16 AM | | I dont know, i would rather have someone who rocks my world in ways that are way more important than looks anyday...someone who can back me in bar fights, and hold my hand when i am crossing those dark alleys at nite, rock out to the loud crazy music in a dimly lit, smoke filled dive bar....this still makes me picky tho, cause those guys are few and far between... | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/13/2006 10:01:56 AM | | picky is good.....but pick away and there is still no guarantee that you will remain with the same person forever....Lots of divorce lawyers for that reason. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/14/2006 9:08:32 PM | e
sure we are Picky, and we should be, if you were buying a car or a house you would be getting things checked out and why not in your personal life, your partner has the potential to damage you, mentally, physically, and financially, It might be ok to be picky about the lawyer you need after to pick up after you, going to be expensive, should make sure to at least get a good one. :
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/14/2006 10:44:04 PM | | Of course. I've settled a lot of the time and regretted it bigtime but who wants to be with someone they don't think is fun or interesting or attractive but some settle some wait for Mr/Ms Right who never comes along. That's why we are on here if u ask me,but tha'ts just common sense. It's hard enough to meet people without having to go to bars and talk to complete idiots or make a fool outta yourself. But it's part of the game unfortunately. Somewhere god is laughing. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/14/2006 11:12:52 PM | Everyone needs to stop being so damn picky on this sight (myself included). We are all so picky that we spend all of our time finding flaws in profiles and responding to threads.
Its time to hook up and with the nearest person that fits your general requirements and have hot monkey sex in a cheap motel. | |
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