Balfro
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Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 51 | |
| Virginity scares men
Posted: 1/28/2007 2:30:36 AM | I think that you should tell any potential mates that you are a virgin. Cause if they do back out and run away then they weren't worth losing your virginity to in the first place.
Being a guy I can tell you this: Virginity doesn't scare me at all... But two of the reasons I can think of that would do it for some guys are
A) Virgin sounds so innocent and maybe they just don't see themselves with someone so un-naughty
B) Virgin = inexperience. They probably figure that you won't know what to do in the sack and might (and no pun intended here) suck.
Don't try and convince a guy that he needs to have sex with you. Just try and find a guy who doesn't care about that but that you care enough for to give it up. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/2/2007 11:51:30 PM | That sounds silly to me.
In this age i honestly dont know anyone who has wiated till they were married, my parents have been together for thirty six years and have NEVER married and are so incredibly in love it almost makes you wanna vomit.
And they fight a whole lot less then married couples thats for sure.
One thing people dont think about when they t alk of the evils of premarital sex is that sex DOES have an imapct on your marriage life and there is such a thing as being sexually incmpatible. It would never work . I could lead to fights , frustration and a whole lot of tension in the air when two people are unable to exspress to each other physcially. Can you imagine having to admit to friend s and family that you divorced someone beasue the sex sucked?
Iknow it makes me sound shallow but it also makes me sound honest. I know myself personally i find it difficult gain any pleasure from sex So i would defintly be takin it for a test drive before driving the car off the lot if you get my drift.
when i was sixteen and started seeing my first serious boyfriend my mum was on me constantly about sex and its evils and one day my dad pulled me asde and told me that sex was a personal choice between you and that person And when the times comes and your ready you do what feels right. IF it feels right. I waited till i was eighteen and even tho im not with that person now i dont regret it.
Dont EVER let anyone tell you what you do with your own body is wrong. If we werent meant to enjoy our bodies they wouldnt have been made to feel this good.
~Tabs | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/2/2007 11:53:56 PM | Yeah sorry that was in rsponse to message 28...
It didnt quote as i was hoping it would :p | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/3/2007 5:58:10 AM | Speaking from the the only 2 I have been lucky (or unlucky) to deflower... I found that ultimately they became very attached. Not that I minded at the time, but I also found that their selfesteem required fairly regular assurance that they were good and doing it right.
All of which I thought there were great and I rather have someone who is inexperianced over someone who is. Only because they are more willing to learn what I like and willing to communicate to me what they like. I find experianced women get upset if I try to gently help them along or by trying to communicate.
Just my experiances. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/3/2007 6:12:39 AM | Kay, why are you lying on me? I was in a long distance with a 31 year old virgin. It does not freak me out. As a matter of fact, I would date another virgin in a heartbeat. I would like to be told, because, I myself (though not a virgin) am looking for a no sex without marriage based relationship. There are three types of men you should be looking out for...
1. The one's who won't date you because they are looking for sex in the relationship, rather if the relationship leads to marriage or not.
2. The game players who see it as a challenge to take your virginity. They will put on a pretty mask and seduce you into changing your mind.
3. The one's who want to hit it and go. These are the one's who aren't looking for anything too serious, but still want the benefits of getting their wicks wet.
Hang in there, are a lot of guys out there who are honestly looking for a young lady such as yourself.
Oh, and read this thread carefully, you will see what I am talking about. And whatever you do, hold on to your beliefs, I can speak from my own experience, I wish I would of told my first gf no. 8 women later, I can say I have that longing for that close contact and I feel like I am missing something. But, with that realization...I know understand why God said, "for this reason, a man will leave his parents and cleave unto his WIFE (I wish I could bold and under line it), and the TWO shall become ONE." So, hang in there, don't let the logic of this world change your mind. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/3/2007 11:53:46 AM | [Sleep with them (I am assuming that you have masturbated before) so there will be no blood]
Are you dumb? Just because you masturbated doesnt mean there wont be any blood. If youve used a Dilo then you ve been torn but not just plane old masterbation.
And if you have to wait to find the right guy who care youve waited this long already which is more that most of us what a little longer?
Mistic | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/5/2007 3:04:21 PM | i don't think its a scary thing, its just an important thing; most people understand how serious it is in regards to the first time. You don't want to ruin or let someone down or not handle the situation the best way possible; esp if u don't have feelings in regards to long- term/permanent relationship.
guy or girl when its their 1st time u can really have that person get attached and if people don't want to deal w/that; then know they won't, just thank god that the guys were nice enough to respect that.
some dudes won't care..and just have had it w/u and left it at that..
i have dated virgins before its not bad; u just wanna make sure they are doing what they really want to and not what they feel i want to, an its hard to know because the girl has no past exp/desire to draw upon. so u don't know..ur not sure.. at least in my case i was; i wanted her to be sure and none of the girls could straight up and down say yes when i asked and to me if u can't say yes i want to do this.. then u really don't want to.
i never had sex w/any of the virgins...they later went on to do it w/someone w/less regard and or respect and they really have been impacted by it in some pos and some neg ways..
if ur a virgin its coo w/me u just made a concious dec not to have sex like others make it to have sex...no prob..
i don't think guys are scared..they either don't wanna deal w/u being attached or b) are respectful of it and its importance | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/5/2007 3:48:39 PM | to be honest love... most of the guys i know here would love to take a females virginity and as of to what i have experienced... no man i know gets freake dout by a woman being a virgin... the only thing that might possibly freak them out is that they will have2 take it slow with you to begin with and most guys these days dont like going slow, they just wanna pop their cork and get it over with for their own satisfaction.
My advice to you though, dont even consider not telling them that your a virgin because then you'll be hurting bigtime and they'll wonder why you seemed so "in-experienced" for someone who's apparently already done it before, just keep telling them and you'll find one who wont be freaked out by it (perhaps also they could just be the freaks who believe the stories that there's loads of blood when popping the girls cherry) lol | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:50:22 PM | I can see the part about the emotional attachment because nobody will ever be able to replace the person who is your first lover. Especially if you are female no matter what the experts on equality say. A woman's choice is simply special regardless of the circumstances that surround the event.
It's like the big dream wedding some plan for only to find it lands on the day a tornado touches down. No matter. The memory lasts a lifetime. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:54:37 PM | | I would be happy that these guys refuse to sleep with you....It shows they are not ready to emotionally support a woman. Being your first time you are going to probably end up real attached to the guy, and these men you have been seeing obviously do not want that connection. Wait until you find the right guy. Don't keep trying another guy until you get someone to do it with you....there are plenty of guys that would love to sleep with you because you are a virgin. Their intent is good....so good luck! | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/5/2007 9:50:12 PM | The good guys get uncomfortable with taking a girls virginity when they know it is wrong...what I mean is, when they know that they are not totally into you. I hope you don't feel like now that you have reached 18 you NEED to lose your virginity! Wait until you find the right guy, seriously. And not because it is special. But because when you do lose it, you will find out sex is great and you will want to have it all the time rather than a one night stand!  OKay...AND because it is special. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/5/2007 10:17:03 PM | sounds like those guys thought that since you're a virgin you wouldnt know what you're doing so they wrote you off thinking you wouldnt be a good fcuk.
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/5/2007 10:35:38 PM | #1) Virginity is not bad. Stupidity is bad. One you can correct, the other? Not so much.
#2) 18 is still young. Me? I was 21 and a virgin, and it didn't matter a tinkers damn.
#3) It isn't experience, it's THE experience. Imagine a girl that had lousy sex 100 times. Are you worse off than her? I doubt it.
#4) Trepidation aside, sex is healthy, good for you, and most of all it's fun. Going in with the wrong attitude will just wind up with you getting your heart bent, twisted, or just plain broke.
#5) Sex is often seen as a "guilty" thing. That is a true thing in our society, especially when it comes to girls. So think of it like swearing. Say a few Hail Mary's and move on.
#6) Boys like sex, Girls like sex. Someone who can take it or leave it, just never got the good stuff. Make sure you get the good stuff. Or move on.
#7) Virgins are like Violins. No matter how good the maker, they are never good out of the gate. It is time, and play, that make them things of beauty.
I was going to write more, but after #7, I just figured I would quit while I was ahead. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:53:04 AM | | Take your time sweet one, don't buy into all the advertising. And READ what DentedKnight says here a couple a times or more; seems a mighty smart guy. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/6/2007 5:01:33 AM | OP: You are cute and you are legal. There are any number of men who would happily help you with that "problem".
Yes, virginity can be a turn off. Honestly, many men would prefer a partner that already has an idea what she likes and what she's doing.
There are two basic perceptions men have of women loosing their virginity:
1) I think you are special.
2) I'm tired of being a virgin and want to get laid.
"1" is seen by most caring men as a big responability... are they ready for the commitment you will attach to it? What will the emotional effects be on you.
"2" is seen as a smaller responsability "let me make sure I do this well".
I've been both for a partner in the past.
I think you are correct to be honest. You seem out to loose your virginity. I'd suggest that you may want to set out to deliberatly do that. Go use some cute guy for good sex. As mentioned before, most men would voulenteer... the good ones with the emphasis of making sure it was the best experience it could be for you. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/6/2007 5:13:36 AM | at my advanced age... dating a virgin would be odd (cause I date women in thier 30's) but definately not a deal breaker...
you will always remember your first but at the ripe old age of 18 that is not a big deal...
now as far as the guys freaking out that is probably cause they are not that experienced and are scared cause they may be a virgin (or pretty damn close to it)...
so do not sweat it, take if slow and enjoy the journey! | |
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voycee
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Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 67 | |
| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/6/2007 9:02:19 AM | | well to be honest that is most men all over they dont like the fact that of being the first one its just sumthing us men r like but yet saying that you can also find other men that will take care of u, and want u 4 u they wont bother if u havent had experiance b4 or not, like myself i dont care if people want sex they will be ready at the time that feels right for them. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/6/2007 9:48:01 AM | 3 weeks is no where near long enough to have sex with someone when you are a virgin
What about when you aren't a virgin... I mean i still am but for those out there that do have sex, shouldn't you want to wait to have sex with someone?
Just a thought | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/6/2007 10:53:14 AM | Yea, I can't buy into the "you should wait however long someone else feels you should" either. Personally (and leaving the STI argument aside for a moment), I think going to Europe or Nevada (is prostitution legal in Canada) and getting a professional to do it is a perfectly legitemate choice: You know going in there's no chance of a relationship, he does too, he knows what the hell he's doing, and his sole purpose is to make your time pleasent.
If it's not gonna be "true love (TM)" it might as well be done right.
Of ourse, someone your lady friends recommend for such a purpose might work as well. I know it's quite the compliment to have someone choose you for that task. | |
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t-bag
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Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 70 | |
| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/7/2007 3:46:13 AM | | some guys are worried about attachment issues. if that's the case maybe they're not the right guy to be dating. it shouldn't really matter whether you're a virgin or not. i was 20 when i lost my virginity. losing it is a big deal to some more than others. hell i'd date a virgin it'd be a totally new experience for me. i'd just take it slow, make sure she wants it and won't regret it later. nothing would be worse than causing any unnecessary pain, unless you're into that sort of thing. eventually things will turn around in your favor. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/10/2007 1:51:08 AM |
What about when you aren't a virgin... I mean i still am but for those out there that do have sex, shouldn't you want to wait to have sex with someone?
Why wait?
Life is short, you know.
Michael | |
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1Kam
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Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 72 | |
| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/10/2007 2:16:57 AM | Haha, I love society and I love psychology.
Listen Kay, you've been brought up a good girl. I'm sure you've never touched drugs or smoked a cigarette, as sure as I am that somewhere in the back of your head you still believe in our lord almighty. (They both go hand-in-hand, meh...) Anyways, my point...
When you were 14-16 everyone was fawking... But you!
Now everyone's 18-20.
A person who's been fawking since they were 14 will feel remorse for losing theirs so early, this in turn leads to a feeling of guilt for thinking that you deserve a better experience if you were saving yourself for that long a period of time. They may also think you're a Jesus Freak, do-gooder, or maybe there's a medical condition they don't know about.
A sensible person will feel awkward or even remorse for fawking you. A cold b@stard will just do it. Wanna get laid? Quit tellin people you're a virgin. It's the normal thing to do.
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/10/2007 10:38:51 AM | "Wanna get laid? Quit tellin people you're a virgin. It's the normal thing to do."
That sounds good in theory but it would never work in practice. I understand not telling other people you're a virgin it's nobody's bussiness. but a person you may be potentially intimate with, you might as well tell. Because once you get into it with another person. They will almost always be able to tell, and guess you're a virgin. So you might as well tell them that why they can be compassionate and be gentle and accomodating with you, or take off. That why you know what kind of person you're dealing with. Better they know before then during because unless you're a really good liar and really really good in th sack (which is EXTREMELY unlikely if you're a virgin) They're gonna find out. | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/10/2007 11:04:12 AM |
Better they know before then during because unless you're a really good liar and really really good in th sack (which is EXTREMELY unlikely if you're a virgin) They're gonna find out.
Yeah, but if they find out you are bad in the sack, they will KNOW that you are NOT a virgin.
Michael | |
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| Virginity scares men
Posted: 2/10/2007 11:52:04 AM | I had two experiences with virgins. The first told me beforehand. The circumstances were somewhat unique because she was staying in a corporate apartment but she lived on the other side of the country. We met at a party of a mutual friend.
When her project was over, we knew the relationship likely was, too. We both admitted to each other that we weren't longterm relationship material. We had a great time just dating for a few weeks and when she was ready, she was ready.
The whole thing doesn't scare me, personally, but I don't take it lightly. I look at it as an opportunity to make her first experience memorable, genuine, safe and positive. I'm hoping that allowed her to go into future relationships with a positive attitude about sex. | |
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