| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/12/2006 11:47:07 PM | | Since the person can simply delete it, outside it being pointless and spiteful to begin with, the only way it would remain on a profile would be by constantly putting it up again | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/13/2006 6:38:54 AM |
So delly, sexual assault is Ok with you?
Now how do you go from someone thinking it lacks class to sabotage someone's life with a cheap shot on a forum to her condoning sexual assault?
That is nowhere close to what she said.
You live in a bunker with an assault rifle, don't you? Never meeting anybody because you think everyone is out to get you?
$75 an hour for a good shrink would do you wonders. You have serious issues. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:05:54 AM | Just checked the forum and wanted to say "thanks" for responding to me! I tried to e-mail you directly, but I'm too far away and it wouldn't let me.
Thanks again!
Christina | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:18:27 AM | If Ted Bundy were on this site he would have had wonderful testimonials from his adoring friends. Everybody has someone who admires them for some reason.
All of the testimonials I have read so far are only positive and many seem to be from penpals....how much do we really know about someones character if we haven't spent time in their presence, under ALL circumstances?
Negative comments will be deleted and positive comments may not be the truth as you may see it........So what's the point?
Canadian Lady.....
Thank you......I feel physical appearance is a distraction to ones soul....and "Martin" is quite special.....:)
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:24:43 AM | Stupid people annoy me. Please try reading the question BEFORE you respond.
A few people on here are responding to this question by saying things like make sure that negative testimonials can't be written about you by chopping anyone who could say anything bad about you from your favorites list. To those people I say - why don't you just try not being an a**hole and avoid that problem all together? Then I say to these rocket scientists try READING the question presented.
HOW to avoid negative testimonials was NOT the question the OP asked - the question was SHOULD we give negative testimonials - not how to avoid getting them.
My answer I would not waste my time.
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:54:53 AM | I think negative testimonials should be reserved for real problem people, as a warning, if you feel that someone could actually be harmed by them. I've reported people I found with false profiles. They are usually given a chance to correct their profiles, but mostly, they just delete them. I reported one guy to another site who was pretty scary in a "Here comes Johnny!" sort of way when I met him. Had a pistol strapped to his ankle, carried a hunting knife on his belt, lived way out in the boonies and joked about having all his ex wives buried in his back yard. They removed him, but I'm sure he's out there somewhere.
Should we warn people about ones like this? Heck yes! I would want to be warned. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/13/2006 10:19:51 AM | Probably wouldn't do any good - the jerk is not going to change and there's is someone out there for everyone - even jerks! 
I've met my fair share of those recently and have learned to just let it go and move on - it only takes a little while to get over it. At least we can try to get those that downright lie about being divorced, etc. off, but as you say - they can just go somewhere else or come in under a different name, etc.
Just remember that whatever you survive makes you stronger! | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:11:55 PM | | My Mom said that if you don't have anything nice to say about someone don't say anything. Just wait until they die and piss on their grave. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:15:32 AM | | for a bad date, there is no way that I would post a negative testimonial. I feel if you had a horrendous date, best to be discussing it with the person you went on the date with. It's almost like stabbing them in the back. you play all nicey-nice on the date even though you're having a miserable time, decide to never see this person again, be polite and then leave...other person while maybe they noticed you weren't having a great time, has no idea what you thought exactly. And then boom - it's up on their profile? That's just cheesy. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:24:15 AM | | I wouldn't write anything negative unless I honestly felt the guy might be a threat to someone. And if you happen to have what you'd term as a "bad date" it could be because the guy was nervous. I like to play nice with everyone and hope they'd do the same in return. One thing I have learned from the testimonials is to be careful who you add to your list because that could come back to haunt you should they decide to do one for you. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/17/2006 11:52:03 AM | What if you have been chatting with this person for a while, decide to meet and during the meeting you find out that he is MARRIED. My testimonial would be just a way of warning other unsuspecting women that whoizhe is definitely not who you think he is.  | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/17/2006 11:56:07 AM | Sigh.....
EVERY one of thes eposts is about women "warning" people about men.
A little sexist, maybe?
If you were duped, it isn't your business to "warn" anybody. Lick your wounds and move forward. You are not the date police for the world.
Shall men warn who is a golddigger, who has thin pictures posted but is fat, and on the other side of the sword, should we post "Hey, Mary from wherever is an easy lay".
Anything like that is low class. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/17/2006 12:58:00 PM |
EVERY one of thes eposts is about women "warning" people about men.
A little sexist, maybe?
If you were duped, it isn't your business to "warn" anybody.
good point Eastside.
Everyone should be using apropriate caution anyways.
If you're the sort of woman, who needs to be warned, about each specific man, that may use you, then you probably shouldn't even be trying to meet men on the internet. It's probably best for yourself to avoid this medium as a way of meeting people.
But then again, ......if these same women, avoided the internet, they'd just keep meeting "players" in bars or somewhere else. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/17/2006 2:36:55 PM | | No, give the person the benefit of the dobut for one. Second, what's done in the dark soon will come to light. Third, you can always look on "DON'T DATE HIM GIRL.COM" ..... | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:28:04 PM | Eddie,
thanks for the amateur ANAL-ysis.
After reading your several posts, it's no surprise to me that you know the price of therapy.
You ride the short bus, don't you, Eddie?
That would explain the suit coat with the wino grooming standards.
THAT, Eddie, is "Low class..."
Hey slick Eddie, these people taking advice from 'Thumper' in "Bambi" ("If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all")are missing the point entirely, as are you (big surprise).
The fact is, there are behaviors short of sexual assault that are real hazards to other people, like getting sloshed and driving your date home, putting on a rubber chicken suit and garters and doing show tunes while dancing on the coffee table (your personal favorite) insistly groping at her, etc. If you ever had any female friends (not likely with that sense of fashion) you'd know that there are a lot of guys out there who are sleazy bas-tards, drunks, (they probably wear suit coats with jeans, facial scruff and long stringy hair) obscene, stalkers, married and lying, etc. Although their behavior falls short of rape and would probably not be charged criminally (except by the fashion police) their crummy behavior should be brought to the attention of other females who might be considering dating these 'tards.
But the fact is, Eddie-of-the-short-bus, that these twits said that they wouldn't put a derrogatory on the testimonial...PERIOD.
Accordingly, there is NO practical difference between saying that one would never put a derrogatory in the testimonials because it is "low class", thereby tacitly condoning these behaviors and just outright stating that these behaviors are OK. In either event there is sufficient cause to warn others but those who know "don't want to get involved".
And Eddie.....I'm a ex federal police officer and have over 10 years as a paralegal.
I'll.....just....bet I know a little more about this stuff than you.
Of course I think I can understand why YOU wouldn't like the idea. That "its all about me" thinking is what gives us the "kittey Genovese" type incidents.
And since most people are lost in their own little worlds, here's Kitty's legacy....
Genovese had driven home in the early morning of March 13, 1964. Arriving home at about 3:15 a.m. and parking about 100 feet (30 m) from her apartment's door, she was approached by a man named Winston Moseley. Moseley ran after her and quickly overtook her, stabbing her twice in the back. When Genovese screamed out, her cries were heard by several neighbors; but on a cold night with the windows closed only a few of them recognized the sound as a cry for help. When one of the neighbors shouted at the attacker, "Let that girl alone!", Moseley ran away and Genovese slowly made her way towards her own apartment around the end of the building. She was seriously injured but now out of view of those few who may have had reason to believe she was in need of help.
Records of the earliest calls to police are unclear and were certainly not given a high priority by the police. One witness said his father called police after the initial attack and reported that a woman was "beat up, but got up and was staggering around."
Other witnesses observed Moseley enter his car and drive away, only to return ten minutes later. He systematically searched the parking lot, train station, and small apartment complex, ultimately finding Genovese, who was lying, barely conscious, in a hallway at the back of the building. Out of view of the street and of those who may have heard or seen any sign of the original attack, he proceeded to further attack her, stabbing her several more times. Knife wounds in her hands suggested that she attempted to defend herself from him. While she lay dying he attempted to rape her. He stole about $49.00 from her and left her dying in the hallway. The attacks spanned approximately half an hour. A few minutes after the final attack a witness, Karl Ross, called the police. Police and medical personnel arrived within minutes of Ross's call; Genovese was taken away by ambulance and died en route to the hospital. Later investigation revealed that 38 individuals nearby had heard or observed portions of the attack (TWO called police) | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 10/8/2006 5:27:53 AM |  I completely agree with you, writing negative things on here about other people isn't nice. Especially if it's about an ex. People who write slanderous stuff suck! I have a friend, and her ex-husband slams her on here. They had problems in the marriage & she left him, he refused to go to counseling. He pretends to be her friend & then she found out about this website where he put so many horrible things on it about her.She left him & filed for divorce & moved on. But he never did. I see him at his job, he doesn't shower, shave, & he had all his teeth pulled & never bought new. And yet he talks crap about her still. I've read his profile on here & see where women think he's the type to bring home to their mom. Lol! If only they knew! Thank goodness my friend left him & moved on to a much better & happier life | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 10/8/2006 6:13:28 AM |
...you can delete any testimonials by deleting someone as a favorite. It's totally under your control what testimonials stay and which are deleted.
I'd of thought the above comment would of wrapped this whole thing up. Anyway, the testimonial bit seems like harmless fun to me. If you don't like what someone writes about you, just delete it. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 6/1/2007 8:33:55 PM | | I think if the person is really creepy or innappropriate then other people should know to be leary, but where you get in trouble is that interpretation of what is creepy? Maybe what they could do would be like a 5 star rating system on what kind of dater you are... just a thought. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 6/1/2007 9:08:40 PM | | I think I'd only write a negative testimonial if someone was grossly misrepresenting themselves in their profile. Like if they turned out to be married instead of single, 20 years older than they claim, or even a different sex. But, that person would just delete it anyway, so it wouldn't do any good. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 6/24/2007 10:24:43 PM | I would not. If I had a bad experience, I would just take the high road and chalk it up to a bad match.
In my opinion, people who smear others just to get a little rush of satisfaction are the real losers. | |
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| Should we write negative testemonials?
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:51:54 PM | I agree what good does expressing negative and hurtful things achieve ?
Isn't there enough spite, anger and hate in this world without us bringing into the virtual world ? | |
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