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 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 551
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why do men always have to look at other women!! Page 23 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

Why are women so threatened by their man looking at other women?

I wonder that ALL the time. The usual answer? "It's disrespectful." Uhhh, OK! I don't agree, but then again, I'm one of those that's likely to point out beautiful/stunning/attractive women simply because as a woman ~ I find my gender peers interesting to a serious degree. And on the other side of this ongoing debate? I'd be a HUGE hypocrit to be upset if/when "he" looks ~ simply because I look at other men. As long as we're looking, not looking to find ~ it's all good with me. JMO
 rjpeagles
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 552
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:44:53 PM
And along those lines greeneyez don't we all (men & women) like when we get positive attention for how we look, even when we are in committed relationships?
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 553
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:03:14 PM

Men don't have to look they choose to disrespect who they are with and look.

Just like you choose to make a big deal about it.

I, for one, would rather remain alone than be in a relationship with someone who wants to make me feel guilty because I still find other women attractive. I have enough stress in my life to want to have someone add to it.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 554
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:05:33 PM

Men look because their gf or wife allows them to. Men don't have to look they choose to disrespect who they are with and look. Some of us women don't tolerate a partner doing that shit. He's confronted on it and if he refuses to stop he's history.

Rj...because men doing that is NOT necessary. So what if a woman takes care of herself and puts her best foot forward at all times. It doesn't mean she's out trolling for men. It means she's taking care of herself.


Honey, I understand that your man looking at other women is distastful... unfortunately, it is a reality you will never change... and taking a control freak attitude toward the situation by trying to control your man will only make things worse... by trying to bully him, all it will do is lower his level of love for you, and in turn, lower the quality of your relationship at best... at worst, you breakup.

Also keep in mind that men fall in love just like women... and that means you will look even better to him! It's true! Your competition will look pale in comparison.

The best you can do is choose a good gentleman who looks less, and/or does it more subtly so you notice it less or not at all. It's the guy who rubs it in your face or does it too much who is bad; occasional looks at the bikinis on the beach are normal (it's like waving candy in front of a baby!).

What you have to realize is that all men look... even gays look! Someone was just telling me the other day about a gay man who likes Heather Locklear! Crazy!

It's like telling people to change the channel if they don't like what's on... it's too late once they have seen it, the crime has been committed! It's like telling a jury to disregard incriminating evidence because it does not meet legal requirements. Once the cat is out of the bag...

Get over it.

So what if he looked once... you are the one he respects above all others. You are the one he is going home with.
 honeyangel1985
Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 555
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:11:55 PM
^^^Get over it?

Sticking to my original comments. I'm a control freak for expecting respect? That's just a cop out men use to justify them drooling over other women. So I'm supposed to just stay at his side, shut up, and tolerate him panting over other chicks? If I'm dating a guy who disrespects me like that he's dumped pronto. That's not respect. I won't be with someone who makes me feel uncomfortable for his own selfish pleasure.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 556
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:23:48 PM

What you have to realize is that all men look... even gays look! Someone was just telling me the other day about a gay man who likes Heather Locklear! Crazy!

Oh, I totally believe you on that one. I used to work at Disneyland where literally about half of the male employees are gay. One of them was talking to me about a Madonna concert he had been to recently and basically told me about how he was lusting over her.

I looked at him funny and said, "I didn't think you swung that way!"

He replied, "for her, I'll make an exception."
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 557
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:28:00 PM

I'm a control freak for expecting respect?

You're a control freak for being the only one who gets to decide the definition of the word "respect." You're a control freak for expecting other people to change their behavior to suit your expectations.


That's just a cop out men use to justify them drooling over other women. So I'm supposed to just stay at his side, shut up, and tolerate him panting over other chicks?

The topic at hand is "looking." You are the one who is equating mere "looking" with "drooling" and "panting."


If I'm dating a guy who disrespects me like that he's dumped pronto.

I doubt his heart will be broken. No guy likes having to put up with that much stress.


That's not respect.

Nor is trying to punish a person for something that is 99% of the time little more than a knee-jerk reaction.


I won't be with someone who makes me feel uncomfortable for his own selfish pleasure.

Fine with me. Just realize that you are the one who is choosing to make a big deal about it, not him.
 LUSTING IMPRESSIONS
Joined: 8/4/2009
Msg: 558
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:43:40 PM

I, for one, would rather remain alone than be in a relationship with someone who wants to make me feel guilty because I still find other women attractive.


Amen brother. Actually I take it futher and I'm not willing to have anything more than a fling with a woman insecure enough to feel threatened if I ask her opinion about another chick I think is hot. Of course I'm cool with her checking out other guys and telling me, no double standards here.
 green.apple
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 559
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:53:02 PM
I think that both men and women look at men/women other than their partners, but I would say men are much more sensitive when their woman is doing it. They will generally have a lower tolerance level to it than the women do.

Now, try looking at it from the other perspective. Have you ever felt a guy's eyes on you while he is standing near you with his gf/ wife by his side and how do you feel about that guy? It disgusts me, honestly. Because that guy appears so "needy" when he does that and his wife is present. I won't even mention married guys who go out alone or with other men and do that pretending they are single. That one gives me a combination of rash and diharrea.

 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 560
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:21:48 PM
I'm with verygreeneyez on this one. I've been known to point someone out to a partner, and occasionally have had a partner comment on another woman's beauty to me. My partners know I'm cool with that. As long as he's respecting whatever relationship guidelines we have in place, there's no issue as far as I'm concerned. I look at other men, too, but there's a difference between noticing and actively lusting after someone. I'd vastly prefer to have a partner who feels free to discuss this sort of thing with me than one who feels he has to hide even any vague interest he might feel simply because we're partnered. I expect people to notice other people, and I much prefer the honesty. That's respect in my book.
 4whoiam
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 561
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:26:49 PM
2 words: Control Freak.

Just because his eyes aren't on only you 24/7 doesn't mean he isn't happy with you. Eyes wonder.. I've been in a relationship and have looked at other men before, geeze, it's just looking! It's nothing like touching or kissing.

There are controlling men out there who will beat their girlfriend senseless just because they had eye-contact with a man who was speaking to her, like her boss, brother, or the clerk at the grocery store.

It's ridiculous.
 green.apple
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 562
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:28:25 PM
Some guys are extremely flirty and do that all the time, compulsively. You can't compare that and an occasional interest in another woman's looks, which I consider normal and healthy.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 563
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:33:24 PM

Men don't have to look they choose to disrespect who they are with and look. Some of us women don't tolerate a partner doing that shit. He's confronted on it and if he refuses to stop he's history.
You've got to be fawking kidding me?

Hell... if a confident and attractive woman walks by, even I notice... what the hell is wrong with my s/o noticing too? He's with me... not her...

I think only an insecure, or immature woman would have issues with this...
 aaamm
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 564
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:51:16 PM
There is a difference between looking and gawking. If he didn't look, I would wonder if he needed his vision checked. If he looks too long, yeah, uncomfortable...
 BigBee77
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 565
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 10:57:46 AM
A man looks at other women and women look at other men. That's just the reality of life. Humans are taught to appreciate beautiful things so why should the opposite sex be any different. Even in spite of all that, if you are exclusively dating someone you should do it with taste and discreetly because it may be seen disrespectful by your mate. It boils down to whether you are secure or insecure in your relationship (how men looking at other women and vice versa, may affect you). If I'm with a woman, I don't worry about whether she looks at other men when I'm not around (or when I AM around in some cases). She'll probably do it whether I'm with her or not, so why should I trip. I wouldn't even trip if a man looks at my woman. I'll take it as a compliment. THE FACT THAT YOUR MATE WILL LOOK SHOULDN'T BE THE ISSUE. . THE ISSUE SHOULD BE, IF YOU KNOW DEEP IN YOUR HEART, WHETHER YOUR MATE WILL ACT ON IT OR NOT.
 scottdehart
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 566
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 11:37:09 AM
Okay, I haven't read all 23 pages of responses, so someone may have already said these things.

Yes. I look when they walk in the door. I know I do. It comes from being alone most of my life. You look.

I've actually thought about this quite a bit. Here's my theory on why I look (why YOU look may not be the same, dunno)

It's a combination of fight/flight and possible mate potential. Anytime the human eye detects movement it will track to that motion. It takes actual conscious control NOT to glance to movement. Try it sometime. Over the ages we (men) were considered the protectors/hunters for the family/clan. Movement denotes the possibility of two things. Dangerous or not-dangerous. You make this decision of the two in a split second. Once the movement, in this case a woman, is determined to be non-life threatening the next element is the basic "Is she a suitable mate for offspring?" You don't consciously think that statement, but it IS hard-wired into us. It doesn't mean that we'll jump up and try to mate with her (well, most of us wouldn't. haha). I think we're programmed to observe, quantify and act.

I don't live in the city, I live in the country, the woods/mountains. There ARE still creatures that don't consider a human the top of the food chain. They just consider us food. So being alert to any movement or motion is still viable.

However, all that being said, to keep FROM automatically looking, I'll sit with my back to the entrance, that way I don't see someone coming in the door and automatically check them out.

I was dating this one lady and someone walked by and I looked. She said "You were looking at her, weren't you?" I said, "Yes, I looked at her, but I'm sitting here with you...not her."

But, as always, that's just my opinion.
 dom.is.gone
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 567
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 12:39:57 PM

I was dating this one lady and someone walked by and I looked. She said "You were looking at her, weren't you?" I said, "Yes, I looked at her, but I'm sitting here with you...not her."


Thank you! Exactly!! That should sum it all up right there.
 sungoddness
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 568
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:18:43 PM
well hon look to and if he really stikes yr fancy talk to him ! what good for the gander is good for the goose!
 Walygatr
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 569
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:23:37 PM
Looking at women in the company of another is a learned art.
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 570
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:29:10 PM

Surely if they are happy with someone, they wouldnt feel the need to look at other women?!

Insecurity is such a turn off.

I was caught looking at another woman recently (it was in a club very short dress) and my date said "she really has a nice a$$ doesn't she?". That's a secure woman.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 571
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:31:23 PM
If anything I find women check out other women more than what men do...obviously for different reasons though....I must admit it's never bothered me if my man looks at another woman because I alway spoil his fun by commenting on how good she looks anyway.
 satyr1987
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 572
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:57:30 PM
to answer the original post without reading any other posts.

i happens both ways, and either side doesn't admit sometimes, its not because they are not happy with the opposite, i think its more like light to flies.

just think every1 sees someone on tv and thinks mmmm! yeah!
 Whole 9 Yards
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 573
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why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:58:19 PM
^^+1. (msg. 578)

Shoulda really tested that security and and asked for the threesome!
 PiggyT
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 574
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:59:42 PM
So you own a home.... you don't look at any of the other houses on the block? For that matter, no architecture of any kind?

Silly silly silly.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 575
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:06:12 PM

And I am once again reminded of why I love you for more than your looks, ArabianAngel...


Only I didn't finish my post off lol...you see MY man would have no reason to look at another girl...that's**** for ya!
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