| | 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..Page 4 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | | I dated a guy who told me he'd "have me in bed by the third date"...needless to say he didn't make it to a third date....that sort of attitude really sucks...and ensures they will have an endless string of one or two dates....... | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/11/2006 11:21:38 PM |
tend to look like inquisitive boy and hey it's doug.
I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean......but I'm 14 years older
than you and wouldn't trade looks or personalities!
You say you're looking for "the one", but if she's not in bed with you
after three dates she's not worth spending your "dough" on?
There's a huge difference in having some lame childish three date rule
and letting a woman not interested in you take advantage of you.....
and I wouldn't do either! I guess some of us are smart enough to figure
these things out without some whiney candy-a$$ed rule!
 | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 4:27:53 AM | As to Your Prince's comment in Msg 68: Well, Inquisitive Boy and Hey It's Doug look pretty hot to me. So what's your point? Are you saying that any woman who went out with YOU would be panting to f!ck you on the first date? Sheesh.
BTW, from the looks of your profile and photo, I smell a fake. Another married man out trolling? | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 6:49:49 AM | | By the third date, I want to know that I am not on her buddy list. Being on a woman's buddy list sucks, and not in a good way. Buddies don't get laid, they get used. If she doesn't let me know, in some way, that she is interested in being more than friends, then I assume we will never be more than friends and I will back off. We can be friends, but I will NOT let her use me. | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 7:54:29 AM | I think the rule is true only if the guy wants sex. I've been in that situation a couple of times where there was chemistry and we had kissed on the first couple of dates. They knew I don't rush into sex and seemed all cool about waiting until I was ready but meanwhile by the 3rd date true colours came out and they pretty much expected it either in their words or actions. They were generally a bit younger and I tend to stay away from men in their middle to late 20's now (I hate to generalize though). Usually by the 3rd date I find true intentions come out if they haven't already done so.
Unfortunately if I invite someone over to watch a movie and snuggle and kiss by the 3rd or 4th date because of all this I feel I have to make it clear I am not inviting them over for sex. I think it's kind of sad actually that I have to say that when they know my beliefs already.
I have however had many stand up guys and wonderful relationships where the guy waited because he wanted me to be ready.
I also believe in paying my share of the bills or taking turns. | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 7:55:02 AM | | Greystone, it's interesting that you perceive that buddies get "used" by women. In what way? Do you still pay for outings? I have male friends whom I cherish. When we go out, we split the costs. I am most certainly not using these men, nor are they using me. We both benefit from our friendship. | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 8:09:02 AM |
Even if a woman has sex by the third date, it's no guarantee that she won't get dumped anyway. Or dump him! I don't see putting a time line on the whole sex thing, but in all honesty, do I want to hang out with someone for weeks on end and then find out they are a) bad kisser b) lousy in bed.??? Nope I don't, not if I'm looking for a long term relationship! If there is a physical attraction there and I'm comfortable then that's a choice I make. If he doesn't like the wait....Bye-Bye!! No loss obviously! I wonder how many women reading this will now hold out until at least the fourth date just to see...  | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 8:22:47 AM | | Sparklin, I agree about the kissing thing. I had a male friend who went out with a POF woman a few times before kissing her good-night. The kiss was awful, not at all to his taste (pun intended). Early in my POF days, he recommended to me that I get a kiss by at least the second date. Good advice! But then, there are a few bases between kissing and sex. | |
|
| |
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:24:35 AM | yup...not familiar with this rule...
my only rule is that if there is no interest (ie attraction or laughter) by date three then we are both wasting each others time.
Perhaps a kiss by date three..but sex..nope.
I mean I prefer to exchange internal bodily fluids with those that I can at least pick out of a police line up.
I agree with what others have said: three dates for sex is used by those who see a relationship as the route to sex...nothing more.
however I do have one rule...first dates dont count.
I never dismiss someone because a first date wasnt perfect....modern dating tends to happen a little quick for my tastes...everyone gets a free "get another chance card"...but only one...lol. | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:46:20 AM | | It doesn't have to be sex, per se, but there should be some sort of intimacy by then. If not, the way I see it, she's not interested and just sees you as a "friend". | |
|
| |
| |
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 3:35:47 PM | | Guys go for second dates even when there was no nookie the first time out...? If you paid to see a band ans they showed up and said they were not ready to play...would you buy tickets again...and if you did and they showed up again and saidthey just were not ready...would you really buy tickets again. Geez!!!!!!! | |
|
_TDH_
| | Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 90 | |
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 4:41:57 PM | ...tend to look like inquisitive boy and hey it's doug. by 'Your Prince'
Just say it... you're jealous of our rugged looks!
The things I could say... but don't.  It's just childish to think that the entire future of a relationship rests on such a silly rule... now if this topic had been if there's no chemistry by the 3rd date I would have agreed!  | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 5:34:03 PM | Inquisitive boy and hey it's doug, i was just kidding guys. Seriously.
No intimacy by the third date = no chemistry by the third date. That's my point. | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 6:17:17 PM | Greystone, it's interesting that you perceive that buddies get "used" by women. In what way? Do you still pay for outings? I have male friends whom I cherish. When we go out, we split the costs. I am most certainly not using these men, nor are they using me. We both benefit from our friendship.
I'm probably more sensitive to the subject than most people, because of what I do for a living. Early on I learned not to tell people that I repair refrigeration, heating and A/C because the neighbors would drive me nuts, calling all hours of the day or night, and then get pissed off when I said no. I started telling everyone I worked on pneumatic control systems. And no, you can't borrow my tools.
Women play the "friends first" game, leading you to believe that the relationship may be going somewhere, when in fact it is going nowhere. They are getting the emotional support they need while they are waiting for the real thing, you are being manipulated.
I draw the line when she starts crying on my shoulder. Save that for someone you are in a REAL relationship with. I tend to empathise and her problems become my problems, which I am powerless to fix. She has a good cry and feels better. My day is ruined. (My ex used to cry on my shoulder, but then she would cheer me up with a blowjob)
And if she is crying about some other guy, that's just downright insulting.
If a woman tells me she wants to be just friends, that's fine, but I interpret friends as acquaintances, and I maintain a distance, especially if I am attracted to her.
If she really wanted to be friends first, and then decides she wants to be more than friends, she will have an extremely hard time climbing over the barrier I have set up between us, because she is on MY buddy list.
It's not about who pays for the outings. When you go out with your male buddies, in what way does each of you benefit? | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 8:06:34 PM | 3 dates and "you're out" seems like a player's rule. The converse is what leads to a serious relationship (3 dates and not even a mention of "putting out").
If the guy wants a woman to put out, go to craigslist's escort section and leave here - and you'll get what you're after (and maybe a little more ). | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 8:07:22 PM | No intimacy by the third date = no chemistry by the third date. That's my point.
Maybe you havn't experienced it at your young age.......but some women, expecially older women who have been used and abused by "players" are very cautious with someone new.
Your "rule" could very well keep you getting to know someone well worth the time and effort.
By the third date you should have an idea of where the other person is, if you don't, you don't read people very well. I've dated some who were "ready" for sex early on, not because they're easy......they just move faster.....I've also dated wonderul women who just didn't have sex until they felt it was "making love".......it didn't mean they were "playing" me or using me for entertainment. Sex means a great deal to some women......and some of them are very special........believe it or not.......you can even have a meaningful relationship without sex......once you've reached that level of maturity......it may end up as a friendship instead of something "romantic" but could still be well worth your time!
Since you seemed to have gotten more serious.....think about that!
AND! Thankyou very much Gardennut.....that was VERY sweet! | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 8:27:43 PM |
Maybe you havn't experienced it at yor young age.......but some women, expecially older women who have been used and abused by "players" are very cautious with someone new.
At my age, It seems to be the norm, and makes it near impossible to know where I stand. I want someone who is affectionate, not paranoid. | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 8:37:37 PM | Nope , not true, generalizing on a specific topic, with the indivuality on here,,,,theres is no A typical man, or woman.
For myself, if theres an attraction, 3rd, 5th, 2nd, whatever, going with the flow seems to work, theres no need to kill something potentially good , cuz shes not ready yet.
And the 3 date rule, I first read it in a forum post from a girl a few months ago. | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/12/2006 10:06:37 PM | Yeap 3 date rule very much exist. Any guy that doesn’t follow it is a FOOL. Every long term relationship I have had it happen before 3 dates. Of course most of them I didn’t even go on 3 dates the whole time I knew them. If by the 3rd date you have not had sex then you are being played. At which point you need to decide if you want to be friends or kick her to the curb.
The only reason not to like that rule is if YOU YOURSELF are a PLAYER..
Here is Another rule: Don’t date anyone that is dating multiple people and don’t date multiple people yourself.
The Romans use feather when they over indulged themselves
Before you attack me you better look real close at my profile and see the difference between why I am here and why you are here. Here is a clue, look at Marital Status.
Someone made a comment that implied: If she sleeps with you on the first date then she is considered a tramp. I disagree with this. From my experience, ones that do sleep with you on the first date last a very long time.
One very big key here is; how well you know them before you go on a date. If you add my online experience to the mix. Not ONE online date has made it to the second date. Not because they didn’t sleep with me, which we did NOT, but because they were very different from what they made themselves out to be. And I choose not to sleep with any of them or waste my time with them.
I don’t know, maybe the type that I have chemistry with: we are just like that. It is not how many. For I would be very happy to find one woman to spend the rest of my life with.
I also must add. The one I waited the longest for, yes past 3 dates, I caught her sleep with her ex-husband, she later wanted to be “friends with benefits” It was also the SHORTEST relationship I had.
EDIT: I may not be painting the complete picture here. Just because by the 3rd date nothing happens, does not mean she is a bad person. It just means we are not made for each other. | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:14:59 AM | silly game some play......I heard that from a girl.....lol....
I would hope one would put intelligence and that special connection first........
All I can say from my standpoint is.........It is "Not True" .....
lol...
Anyway....wishing you the best lure in town....happy fishing...:))
0:)
 | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:49:15 AM | All this crap about sex on the 1st date, sex on the 3rd date, who really cares? If you have two people that are attracted to each other and have the required chemistry, then they should think along the lines that any MATURE person would think. Leave the time limits, name calling and games back at the school yard, and work on your emotions toward each other. Nobody can draw up a schedule and tell anyone when it is 'acceptable' to have sex.   | |
|
| 3 dates and you're out- a mans rule..
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:49:40 AM | As you have just stated it is an unwritten rule...consequently, that rule is different for every man/individual. We all have our agendas and expectations...whether orated or not. Every man is different, some it can be the first date, I have known men who are willing to to last a few months. It all depends on what the man is looking for...does he want a relationship/a sex buddy/ a lover...or is sex so important to him that he has to ascertain at the beginning of the relationship whether or not that you and he are compatible in bed?
From my perspective, sex is not everything, but, it certainly means a lot, therefore, sexual compatiblity can be a guide to how the relationship will develop or stop. If, I am not compatible with my partner in the bedroom, then, the relationship is doomed. I do understand that that the sex can be worked on through conversation, books, dvd's, but, I am a woman....men don't look at it that way. | |
|
Home
login 
