| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 11/26/2006 12:20:34 PM | If Polyamourous isn't something you both partake in and your S/O isn't aware or agreeable to your current interests in another potential partner..........Than it's cheating on any degree or level....emotional or physical.@ some point they entwine!
it's cheating if you haven't agreed together to pursue someone else ........Communication break down at it's finest.
If your not the polyamourous type or couple.....when interest in another arrises than be honest with yourself & the other person. Tell it straight..Bring it out in the open. Discuss it or say something like.....my desires have drifted to another and my desire isn't with you any longer, I believe were done.
Sounds cold however if the person is already having extracurricular thoughts or activities the relationship was over much before this time.
JMHO
HK
handcream and self lovings Ewwwwwwwwwww, That's why those men have such soft hands | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 11/26/2006 2:18:59 PM |
Cheating is someone who turns thier back on you when you have full confidence in thier love and they return your love, by ripping out your heart and soul - crushing your commitment to them by turning thier commitment elsewhere!! Extremely sad and gut wrenching!!!
Wish I could've said it that way...cause that is how I feel !!!!  | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 11/26/2006 7:06:46 PM |
as Dr. Phil says....dont do anything in the abscence of your spouse/significant other that you wouldnt do if they were standing right there............
That's a good point there Mirage, you think that should be the rule? If that's the case, then just about everyone I know is a cheater (not me of course). | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:18:06 AM | I think everyone is right on here! If there are so many who know the rules, why do they get broken so often?
When you are in a relationship...being 'intimate' with another person, whether it is physical or mental is just plain wrong, and shows a complete lack of respect for the person you are in the relationship with.
The internet is a wonderful thing, but has created an easy environment for cheating...sitting in your living room after your spouse has gone to bed, or from the privacy of your office during the day...communicating with someone in an intimate way when you are supposed to be committed to someone else...anonymous or not...IS CHEATING...and planning a trip to visit the parents of a guy she's been (secretly) communicating/intimate with...and lying about it...shows that deep down, regardless of what she says...she knows she was cheating, too. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:38:50 AM | I agree with banned... Cheating includes self love while viewing someone else self loving themselves. Internet cheating is extremely prevailant. To me, if I am in a commited exclusive relationship, kissing another person on the lips passionately is cheating too.
Having said that, if you are NOT in an exclusive relationship, you CANNOT be accused of cheating. If you are open and up front with everyone you date, then there shouldn't be a problem of being accused of cheating. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:59:14 AM | I ended my marriage due to what I knew only to be web cheating .... I found out after the fact that it extended well beyond that ... but the web stuff was enough for me.
I know what I read in message histories and emails was enough for me .... It wasn't just about the sexual stuff ( there was extensive conversation about a webcam expierence they shared) it was about the incredibly personal things my ex shared about me. It commenced about a month after I delivered my son .. so the comments about my body and appearance was a confirmation of my own worst feelings about myself.
I know this, some may never tell their web friends they are with someone ... my ex shared openly with the multitude of women he had online relationships with that he was married and not a single one had a problem with it.
My gratitude extends to the fact that he was technologically uninclined ... it left all the proof there for me to see when I was ready. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 11/30/2006 9:49:07 AM | So sorry to hear about what happened to you. I am sort of going through this now. My husband was chatting and exchanged photos with another woman. Sad, because once the trust is gone, what do you have.
Cheating does happen on all levels, but either way it is cheating. I always have said if you are going to walk outside a marriage, let me know, for its over. When you are living it - it is very different. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 12/4/2006 11:30:41 PM | I have to admit that I am glad I started this post. As much as I hate to say it this way...I'm glad I'm not alone!  | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:44:12 PM | Question which hurts more?
1) Your partner tells you about a fling that happened 2 years ago at a convention in Las Vegas with a stranger.
2) Your partner tells you he's been thinking about his secretary for years and can't get her out of his mind.
Question: Which one would you consider cheating? | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 1/14/2007 9:35:20 PM | Yes, I consider that cheating......
She was not emotionally in a relationship with you.... she communicated with someone else.... she planned going to see the parents (did she see the guy?) That seems odd that she'd meet the parents first!!
I'm sorry for what you've gone through... that really truly sucks and is one of the horrible things about the ONLINE world!!!! | |
|
| Cheating the definition of...
Posted: 1/15/2007 4:27:44 AM | I have to agree with majority of what the others have said in their posts. Being sneeky and doing things behind the other person's back certainly is a horrible feeling for the other person if and when they find out. No wonder there are so many broken people out there if this is the way they are being treated. Being able to trust once again is the hardest thing to do once that has been broken. Being hurt myself so many times before, I have too much respect to do that to another human being. I have always taken the time to do some soul searching and ending things if that's what my plan is going to be, before making any harsh decisions but that's me. No one deserves to be crapped on.  | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 1/15/2007 5:40:36 AM |
I think everyone is right on here! If there are so many who know the rules, why do they get broken so often? They get broken so often because those breaking the rules truly believe they won't get caught.... they are taking their partner for granted..... or they want to get caught, and then the relationship is over.... they just don't have the guts to end it outright. Personally, I think most cheaters are cowards.
1) Your partner tells you about a fling that happened 2 years ago at a convention in Las Vegas with a stranger.
2) Your partner tells you he's been thinking about his secretary for years and can't get her out of his mind.
Question: Which one would you consider cheating?.....which hurts more?
They are both cheating, and I think the second one would hurt more.
 | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:44:07 AM |
1) Your partner tells you about a fling that happened 2 years ago at a convention in Las Vegas with a stranger.
2) Your partner tells you he's been thinking about his secretary for years and can't get her out of his mind.
Question: Which one would you consider cheating?.....which hurts more?
Without a doubt...both would hurt...both are cheating...the second would have a more profound impact viewing from ..my eyes.
Cheaters are self absorbed.
Truly the one and only acceptable form of cheating...
if we are fortunate to ... cheat death. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 1/23/2007 8:36:22 PM | Thanks coastergal I appreciate the empathy. I think she had to have met him before going to Vermont to see his parents. Their just wasn't enough time for anyone to feel comfortable with a new bf/gf to meet their parents two weeks after ending a marriage.
I couldn't be happier about the seperation now but it did take my emotional availability away for awhile. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 1/23/2007 8:45:28 PM | My ex basically cheated on me with a guy she met through World of Warcraft. :p
The first time they met was when we went to see mutual friends (this guy was a friend of theirs).
I was told after that my ex had asked him to show up there. He hadn't been invited by our friends.
Then they "hung out" together. She told me that he just seemed like a fun guy, and it was nothing serious.
Of course, after the first warning, yeah, I was suspicious.
Then our mutual friends told me how the two of them were meeting up at other times. Without me knowing.
Now, if she'd just made a new friend, and told me they were hanging out, I wouldn't have thought much of it. But doing so in secret, yeah, I don't think so.
So I just basically told her to get her crap out of my appartment.
Of course, then I had a better idea... seeing as I was basically paying for everything (yeah, stupid me)... I moved back in with my folks. I didn't see the point in paying so much for a place just for me. So I let her have the appartment. Of course, she couldn't afford the rent... but oh well, she should have thought of that before cheating on me.
Heh, from what my friends told me, she's mooching off him now... till he wises up and kicks her out, or she cheats on him. :p
Of course, my friends aren't friends with him or her anymore after what they pulled.
Good on them. :) | |
|
| |
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 1/23/2007 9:55:27 PM | I'm sorry, probably doesn't. It's late, I'm tired, and I think I just got to rambling. :p
To be back on topic... cheating is cheating. Be it physical or emotional.
I'd say that the emotional cheating is worse though.
While I can't really ever see forgiving a cheater... someone giving into base primal sexual urges is a little more "understandable" than someone who goes out to have an emotional relationship with another person.
Either way though... if things have gotten to the point where you're not satisfied with who you're with... you should end things. Cheating won't solve anything... only make matters worse. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 2/2/2007 1:02:14 PM | Ok...I got a question for you. When the one that you're with is cybering with another man/woman, or they're looking at porn behind your back after denying that they look at it because it's "so disgusting and the real thing is better", would that qualify under the cheating headline?
And the worse part is when they're cybering with another person while you're sitting right there and they think that you can't tell what they're doing. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 2/3/2007 6:53:04 AM | | I never understood why people cheat. If someone feels that they're going to cheat then why be in a relationship to begin with? Save the person some grief and just don't be with anyone on a serious level ever. I was cheated on 6yrs. ago and it actually turned me off from dating completly till recently when I began to try again. I just didn't bother or care. I was turned off by men. I have to admit I've had a couple of bumps in the road when I tried again till I found someone truly special. The hardest part now since I was so turned off I have to relearn everything which will be a slow process. Getting there though:) I can't imagine cheating on this person I'm with. I just don't have that cheating personality in me period. I would say the emotional aspect of it is worse and it stays with you for a very long time. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 2/3/2007 7:44:31 AM | Cheating definitely
Why can't people just end a relationship where they are not happy before they go looking for a new mate? | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:45:12 PM | Because there are people out there that can not be or do not know how to be alone. Since my ex, I haven't been with anyone in 2 yrs. And I've taken on the attitude that if I find someone then fine, but if I don't oh well. It's amazing what happens when you've a) been cheated on or b) had your life threatened.
I haven't been able to find a decent man, especially one that I can trust, or trust when it comes to my daughter. I know I've got a lot of work to do when it comes to that aspect, and I'm willing to do it, I just need to find someone that I'm willing to do it with.
And actually there is someone, but there's just one problem, he lives in the states, and I live in Canada. And I really don't think either of us is willing to change countries to be together. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 5/24/2007 1:07:46 PM | Just thought I would bring this subject back up and see who is interested in adding to it. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 5/24/2007 7:16:47 PM | | Cheating is so much more emotional sometimes than physical. Thoughts lead to actions. The moment you think or desire someone else, you aren't honouring the person you're with. And that's how I define cheating -it's not just physical. Besides, it's the emotional scars of being cheated on, of being betrayed by someone you loved and trusted, that stay with you long after the relationship is over. | |
|
| Cheating the deinition of...
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:33:09 PM | | Its cheating it was cheating when my ex did it to me it hurts just as much as if they met in a bar, | |
|
Home
login 
