ITV
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Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 51 | |
| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 9/19/2006 9:06:05 AM | "ok a Canuck is gonna jump in here.. so sit down everyone! lol"
Hey I resemble that remark!... Thank you Mom.... 
But seriously if this is true then you already know that sitting here asking for more advice is just a waste of time. Do something. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 9/19/2006 2:40:36 PM | Scares me that you have not done something on finding out about this person. Church or in the neighborhood....this is not a topic to discuss!! Get to it!!! | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:33:03 PM | Call the police to verify the information you found is true. If it is true bring it to the attention of the head of the church and ask him to speak to the person about it in private. If the head of the church won't you do it. I would let the person know that I intend to inform ALL of the members of the church. If the guy has changed his life and is no longer involved in the type of activity that made him become a registered sex offender he will just have to face the fact that being outed is part of the consequences he must pay for his previous actions and lifestyle.
Not sure but it seems like he should or would have a probation officer that you could talk to and found out what he is allowed and not allowed to do. Being involved with the singles could be a dream come true for a person who is a sexual predator. Either lonely women or single parents who would be looking for help with their kids.
Hope this isn't a repeat as I didn't read the whole thread. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 9/20/2006 8:43:01 PM | Someone mentioned that we should do unto others.......Ok, lets say that this guy does that in a literal sense. Lets say that he does that to, oh, maybe young others who are trusting that a person of responsibility in the church is a good guy. How will they look at adult men in the future, and the church where these things are never suppose to happen. Now, how is that going to make you and your friend feel, having had the knowledge of his background and not doing anything about it. I think it would be interesting to know by what means your friend came into this information in the first place. Does she have personal history? There are a lot of good solutions posted here.
Confirm your info and go forward. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 5:16:00 AM | I agree with sistermary-tell the police to investigate.I would not take matters into my own hands.They are trained to deal with this stuff. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 5:39:07 AM | | one more thing- find out the parole officers name like a poster suggested-i am sure that they would do some checking,and be able to take care of the mater. | |
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Fran47
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Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 57 | |
| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 6:51:39 AM | Wow.... you all sound like a linching mob that I use to watch on the old westerns.... Come on this is stupid. If the guy indeed was guilty of a crime at one time... And has since paid for it and perhaps he gave his life over to God and perhaps God has forgiven this man, and this man has changed...Who in the F**k are you people to sit so piously judging others.... You know nothing about him but what "OP" is telling you.... And if you have read anything she says.... you will find they have a on going conflict... Or she does..... You...know I bet if everyone cleaned out their closets of the secret places of their life and displayed them for the world to see..... You might not look so good either....
I am not justifing any thing he may have done....but...give me a break.... He appears to be trying to start fresh and anew.... OP..... you seem to be somewhat jealous of him and the other women as you mentioned..... Perhaps...he isn't or didn't give you enough attention so you are out to destroy him...... This is another class act of christian love.... (PUKE)
God has | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 11:17:57 AM | ^^^^ I agree, and this man is in a singles group, with older people and not the youth pastor. Give him a break, he was upfront with it to the church leaders, so where is the problem.
BTW the OP is a man, so I doubt it was because he didn't get enough attention, but perhaps was jealous the women were giving this new guy more attention!
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Fran47
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Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 59 | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 11:30:00 AM | | ^^^^ Well lets not judge ALL christians by the ones you have dealt with. There are some good ones out there, myself included, and I don't judge others. But then again, I am not really a church goer at this stage of my life. I go when I feel like it but usually work the weekend. As far as the bun and long dresses.... the worst kind | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 4:33:02 PM |
Scripture is very clear on this. You should take the information to the individual privately, explain what you have found and ask him to step down from his position. You cannot have a person with this type of background in a position of leadership. If this does not work, you need to take a witness and confront him a second time. If he does not step down, you need to go the Church Council/Board.
Yeah! What he said. Good work Tozer, you did all the work for me. :) | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 4:44:43 PM | Rrdtool,
The "gut feeling" is usually right on the money! I'm glad that you saw this early on.
My sixth-sense usually gives me the truth. It is something that really helps me make decisions.
If it doesn't feel right, I, like you, give it up. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 4:50:39 PM | Rrdtool,
If I were you, I think I would find a different church and another singles group.
The one you are attending doesn't sound very stable. You deserve better.
I would be very suspicious of those people.
Maybe they haven't seen enough "bad" to understand what "good" is!
Just a thought. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 6:05:34 PM | RDtoo, I ,for,one, am grateful for the attention you have brought to this topic. The general public is not well-informed about pedophiles. There is a registry of these people for a very good reason. They rarely stop molesting children! No matter how much punishment or rehabilitation they undergo, they do it again and again!
Perhaps this person does want to change. And I do believe with God, all things are possible. But I also think as long as his past is a secret, it will be in control.
He's most likely trying to make a clean slate
No, the odds are against this. It is a very slim possibility but it is much more likely he is trying to fit in to find his next victim.
Forty years after the fact having been molested still effects me. Protect all you can however you can. No one should have to face the hell that man will put them through.
GBU!
HT | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/27/2006 11:49:09 PM | Dear Fran. If you had read my post carefully I admitted I thought my gut feeling was that I was jealous of this guy getting attention and at first wrote off the negative feeling I had about him. It is you who are judgemental.
Update on this story. Well someone did go to the Pastors about this and was told that they were aware of the situation and he was told that he could not work around children in the Church. I guess they have not given any thought to the children of a woman he may date in the Church... | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/28/2006 12:45:19 AM | IMO, from a biblical persperctive there are two issues at hand.
There is the issue of repentance and forgiveness. If this man is truely repentent of his sins it's the responsability of Christians to support him.
Howerver there is also the issue of "shepherding". The local church has a responsability to ensure that it protects the flock. The Catholic Church has failed to do this, and has lost most of it's credability and moral authority over this kind of issue.
I personally believe that you should freely express your concerns. If this man's repentence is sincere he will openly confess both his sins, and his desire for repentence to the church. If it's a scam, then you will have exposed him.
Either way, secrets and lies are unbecoming of Christians. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/28/2006 12:00:58 PM | | Okay, its making me crazy. Had to come back and check your profile RDtoo. I would suggest anyone in your area that is a member of a church to have a talk with the vulnerable types young,single, etc. And one thing I have to say, You're only as sick as your secrets. If it was a deal like someone said, Him 18 going with someone 15 he shouldn't be afraid to fess up. Everyone needs to be talking. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/28/2006 12:34:18 PM | | I can not believe this post has been going on for almost 3 weeks now and the man has not been booted from the church. What is wrong with you? Why did you even need to start a forum about this. You should have gone straight to the pastor with this info. Your first concern should have been for the children of your parish. Forgivness be damed!!! People who do this to children don't stop just because they did their time, they just get sneakier about it. I think a singles church group would be the perfect spot for these sick BA$TARD$. Most of these people are trusting and if he holds a position in the church now he has his way into the lives of these children. Through their MOTHERS.... If your not smart enough or brave enough to let everyone with children know of his back ground then go to the police and let them make the community aware of him. As for the people that say that he has changed and found God, grow up. It's a sickness. He is a child molester. He won't change. If he had then he would, OH forget it!!!! I give up, just tell, or sit back and let him have at it and you can say I knew I was right about him. Sorry but people that hurt children should be put on an island with each other, no kids allowed. Get the picture. Ok I'm done, sorry. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/28/2006 1:03:19 PM | To all of you who have wanted to rake me over the coals and have sent me nasty emails making me out to me the bad guy:
No, I did not do this to get attention or to shock
The Church has given their verdict
This person is registared with the State of Michigan as a sex offender
Apparently, everyone in authority knows about him. What do you expect me to do about it???? | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/28/2006 1:28:24 PM | Ever hear of the boy who cried "Wolf!" and nobody wanted to believe him? I once informed a woman about a guy she was seeing who abused women. She did not believe me and I was made out to be the bad guy and she made a fool out of me at work. 6 months later she came up to me and said that she should have listened to me to begin with.
P.S.---I no longer attend this Church. | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/28/2006 5:27:41 PM | Wow! Do we need a fire extinguisher here?
Point 1: The church,(ideally anyway)Is supposed to be there to help sinners. I'm not a theology student but I would suspect that pedophiles fall into that category.
It sounds to me that RDtoo did what he could. As for single women who have children DATING this guy, I think that every single parent just plain and simple must be very careful and vigilant when they date someone.Again, I'm no expert, but I suspect child molesters are about like rats; for every one you see there are 50 you DON'T see. So unless you've known the person you just started dating for most, if not all, of your life,watch out for your kids!
Yes child molesters and pedophiles are horrible people and we will stone them all!...as soon as we find someone WITHOUT sin to cast the first stone.( if that sorta sounds familiar but you can't place it,here's a hint, look in the Bible)
Cindy O | |
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| More trouble in the Church Singles Group
Posted: 10/28/2006 11:12:05 PM | Not casting the first stone is a great idea, when it comes to treating someone decently, however pedophilia is generally regarded as untreatable by psychiatrists and psychologists alike.
Any woman dating him should be informed if she has, or intends on having children. | |
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