| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:03:53 PM | I, fortunately or unfortunately, have experience of having been both introverted and extroverted. Twenty-five years ago I was an extrovert. Always going, doing, having a good time. After 24 years of forced isolation and suddenly being thrust back into the land of the living, I find that I am now introverted. I rarely initiate IM conversations, which drives my electronic friends crazy. I just don't want anyone to feel obligated to talk to me. I will sometimes send an initiating e-mail, simply because it's easier for me to deal with when the recipient ignores the message. I don't call folks to chit-chat because I don't want to disturb them if they are busy.
A friend I hadn't seen in 25 years "found" me last year and has been attempting to re-introduce me to society. She is still extremely extroverted. She knows lots of folks no matter where we go. She's always carrying on and having a good time. I sit sipping a drink, watch her get drunk, and drive her home. It's exhausting for me to be around her for more than just a few hours. She hates spending even one minute alone.
I'm a voracious reader and don't watch television (I have a DVD library). I hate to shop. I can go out and party, but it's not enjoyable for me. Right now I leave home usually once a month for a few hours. Other than that, I'm happy not being constantly on the go. I'd love to have someone to share the rest of my life with, but I could also spend the rest of my life living in a remote location with little human contact. I'm not sure if all that makes me a true introvert, a recluse, or a potential hermit. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:24:13 PM | | Don't try to pass this off as your own writing. I just read this article on the internet a couple days ago. Doubt it was written by you. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:26:03 PM | | Actually, if they lack words/communication skills but gain energy from conversation then they are just shy Extroverts. They not mutually exclusive you know. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:26:34 PM | Ive been an introvert most of my life. Its a curse sometimes, because when I dont get that time to myself I feel like Im being pulled in too many directions. But at the same time, I dont want to be alone either. So where is that line?
I think introverts, while tending to be attracted to the opposite kind of personality, should probably stick to dating other introverts. Because if both people want their alone time, then they both will understand one another and there's a whole lot less room for conflicts to arise.
The hardest part is trying to meet people, in general, though. Ive never been a partier, I dont do bars, and Im certainly not the kind of person who is going to approach a woman at Wal-Mart to hit on her. And, being introverted my whole life, I dont have any real friendship base either, so its not like I can meet someone through someone else. Hence the need for internet sites like this, where introverts can step out of their boxes a little bit and meet some other people in the world. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 6/7/2008 11:11:11 PM | http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm
Interesting - I've taken personality tests before and found they could not peg me. This one says I'm and INTJ Rational Mastermind - one in a hundered apparently (that's why I feel so wierd). Hmmm. Whatever, I already knew that LOL | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 6/13/2008 8:53:53 PM | | Cute story: my friend has a daughter, Taylor. Taylor was about 8 and was spending a lot of time at her friend, Alex's house. My friend asked her daughter why she never seemed to want to invite Alex over to play. Taylor replied "Well, I would rather go to Alex's house to play because that way when I suddenly feel all wierd and like I want to be alone in my room, I just come home. If Alex was at my house, who knows how long she'd stay?" lol...I loved that comment. It is so exactly how I feel. I love being with people, and do not consider myself to be shy, but a little goes a long way for me, and then I need to be alone to get up and do it all over again tomorrow. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 6/13/2008 11:04:27 PM | I guess this thread just goes to show that introverts fall head-over-heels for flattery just as much as everyone else.
I was almost sucked in myself. Then I remembered all the weirdo introverts there that one time I went to a Jungian Society meeting/lecture. I suppose it's because they all think he really "got" them. They were just as obnoxious as full-blown extroverts are, though probably less harmful all-in-all since they tend to keep to themselves rather than inflicting themselves constantly on others. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:27:10 AM | | I choose to be on the introverted side. Less needy and more reflective. I like to listen and watch people. Extroverts need to understand that it is a choice of behavior not some sort of curse. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:06:32 AM | I have always enjoyed my "alone" time . Even when living fast and hard , I always had a place to go that no one else knew about . I would ride out there alone and just enjoy the solitude . After 40 years in a city of 500,000 people I finally managed the "great escape" ,and now live in the bush with no humans around for miles...its a dream come true for me . I have been here for 1 year now and the only time I see humans is when I WANT to and I go into town...what a treat...I may be alone but never once felt "lonely" with living in the woods . Intoverted ?...perhaps...but I lived so long on the otherside of the coin that this seems like a reward for me...I miss nothing of the hustle and bustle of the previous life I lead.
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:25:06 AM | | I am an introvert and have tried to force myself to be more extroverted but it tires me out. I am a chef and I love to be left alone to enjoy the artistry that goes into every dish that I produce. I have a great sense of humor but hate large crowds. I know now I have no choice in being an introvert. That is how my brain is wired. In that being said I can associate with extroverts but it has to be in spurts because it does tire me. I have a friend that lives on the other side of the country, when around her she has to talk non-stop.We used to work together and I had to hide to get some peace and quiet. If we didn't live so far away our friendship would be doomed. I think introverts are best dating other introverts because we understand each other and respect the need for time alone. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:28:31 AM | I'm a combination of the two. There are times I crave large crowds, times I have to be alone, and times I enjoy being a small intimate group of people.
All things are fine with me, depending on my mood, my schedule, the day. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:38:25 AM | | As a part time introvert i find people's criticism both interesting and revealing...it usualy says....you don't want to be around me....so there must be something wrong with you | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:12:19 PM | I love being introvert  About I know I could use more confident making a decent conversation. :) That's what Toastmasters International are there for, lol. I guess I could grew up being like this except maybe I was abit more outgoing when I was younger. My life experience here in Toronto has changed me alot. Alot of it.
Being introvert doesn't make them social outcasts but sometimes, they are left being unappreciated because of their unique gifts they can offer - don't judge them. Because they can be the most loving and caring people you've ever met. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:36:29 PM |
For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping and as nourishing as eating.
There's got to be middle ground, perhaps a 'middlevert' which is a bit of both...Me personally I love and NEED my alone time, if I don't get it I become mentally drained....Some may think this is an introvert type but I can also be an extrovert too...I my opinion the most balanced people are those that fall in the middle... | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:37:59 PM | I agree with Arabian Angel.
I need my time to be quiet, and my time to let go.
I have found a productive way to do both, and I am at peace with who I am now. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:00:02 PM | I have to agree with the statments posted by fourty-six OP refering to Carl Jungs study/findings regarding Introverts and Extrovers.
I am an Introvert, but have some extroverted characteristics when I drink and loose control of myself. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:10:28 PM | actually being much on the introverted side of the spectrum, I can tell you that we are actually very good at expressing ourselves to someone who will listen. I also had an extroverted boyfriend (very) who had a very difficult time explaining....anything. He could not settle down long enough to finish a sentence.
Personally, with dating, it would be the rare extrovert who I could date long term He would have to very mature in his attitude toward my introversion. My ex-husband was an extrovert, and we always argued about when to leave a party....this is the kind of thing I fear.
Being an introvert doesn't really define my social skills or my ability to communicate, or my intelligence, or my worthiness. It is simply a personality tendency.
At work, it is to my advantage though because I interview people and I am a good listener. I can be assertive as well and I love my job because it gets me communicating, but I am still an introvert at the end of the day...thanks OP. Your post makes me happy to be ME | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:25:43 PM | ...
well said.
i recall as a child of quite impressionable being how i longed to be able to take back the attention in seeming adult expression.
but i did not have two clues of what they were all talking about.
impression ability is rest for the mind for all people. and the extroverted live life objectively. and there are many a folk in between polar ends which had evolved their own extroversive capabilities by introverted challenges to be part of any partnership...primarily...even before being able to gather and manage a social network.
management of personal and impersonal life-style is an education of its own vast propositions. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:01:29 PM | | In response to the poster who claimed that introverts are serial killers. Its clear you have not done much research on the matter. Many famous serial killers were outgoing and charismatic. HH Holmes, John Gacy, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson come to mind. All were charismatic making it eay to lure victims and manipulate other people. Gacy hob nobbed with politicians and was encouraged to run for office in his town. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:16:12 PM | ^^^^^^It depends what each person's defination of an introvert is....I would have thought that introverts by nature are shy, secretive, and have their plans well thought out...I think one could easily identify with these certain traits in serial killers.
Serial killers by nature are NOT spontaneous nor are they impulsive...Extroverts are. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:33:52 PM | This is such a GREAT topic! I am definitely an extrovert. I do however have a friend that is just about everything that you describe in a introvert. I love him to death because he is not like me and I have learned so much from him.
I admit though since I am not and introvert I get confused by his actions sometimes. But I also know that is my problem not his. I just have to except him for who and what he is. Which I do 100%. Over all I could not ask for a better friend. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:00:00 AM | response to msg 345:
You have some fine points. However, introverts may well be impulsive, just not amoung large groups. They may not be secretive, just not very talkative amoungst large groups.
It may well be possible to assign the charateristics of an introvert to that of a serial killer - however since the vast majority of people are alive, and a very significant part of the populus identifies as introverted. I seriously doubt they deserve that label.
Having plans well thought out are also charateristics of high flying business people, they seldom have time for socialising - are they to be directly compareable to serial killers too?
"Serial killers by nature are NOT spontaneous nor are they impulsive.."
Not when they are being serial killers. I agree. What about when they are being an average Joe/Jane? Post 344 Pointed out that shy is not a direct quality of a serial killer.
With regard to extroverts, they have a tendancy to congregate in large(er) groups, might also be considered to follow a pack mentality. They are also more likely to be everything from the office bullies to the gangs on the street.
How many people have things they do not share with others, that are extroverts? Does this ability make them alike serial killers?
Smiling and laughing doesnt mean nice, it can mean being derogatory to others and taking a pleasure from it. Particularly when you consider that for many it isnt funny unless its unpleasant to someone. I'd also hazard that extroverted charaters are responsible for greater degrees of destruction of both people and property.
O/T: Many in my family have been quite introverted, it is plesant to see something nice said about it :) However there are some that think Im very socially outgoing as well, personally I don't think so. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:50:24 AM | ...
here is a little something for yas about selfish and social people. extroverts and introverts.
all people are selfish. all people are social.
introversion is not primarily a social (unaware) predisposition...but a personal predisposition.
therefore...introversion do not mean shy or obtrusive. introversion is a term to relate self respects. personal management.
likewise...extroversion is not primarily a socially aware predisposition...but a personal predispostion socially disposed. social management.
the most dominating of self characters sleeps to rest their objective fatigues. (mental predispositions). their time for turning inward.(intro version)
the most reclusive and quiet of intro-versionist may have socially preoccupations to be socially disposed...personally (imagination/recreative thought/expression management).
one can only know the other by relationship. and they each reflect their self back to each. and that is true of all relationships. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:50:09 PM | ...introversion is a personal predisposition.
Grammar teacher alert! I never did get that whole "in, around, about..." thing. I preferred verbs of the transitive variety. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:40:24 PM | ...predisposition. the natural orientation of being. an arrangement of mind ability with feeling facilities of a body. which personality respond for..between the sanctum of life and the world (relationship) of transformation. attitude show it self of face to an other.
introverts and extroverts share that human truth of facilitation. | |
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