| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 8:42:30 PM | Apparently I'm a INFJ. When I read the description it was like someone followed me around and took notes.
Wow. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 8:45:12 PM | | I think introverts use it as an excuse to not be open with their feelings and hold themselves back. This is posted in the relationship section... if an introvert wants a relationship, he/she is going to have to learn to open up. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 8:53:21 PM |
Extrovert – finds meaning outside themselves.
Introvert – finds meaning within themselves [quote/]
Damn I thought Introvert meant .....A pervert that introduces himself as such
And an Extrovert meant.................A pervert that extra perverted
Why else would people call me an Introextrovert?????? | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:07:04 PM | I have taken the Myers Briggs test twice, a couple of years apart. The first time it said I was an introvert, the second time an extrovert. How do I see myself...introverted with momentary lapses of extroversion.
I have no problem being open with my feelings. It is just easier with other introverts...the thought processes are generally the same. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:07:23 PM | msg 79:
Thats where extroverts go wrong with dealing with an introvert. When we're not talking about feelings all the time, the extrovert assumes something is wrong. We don't talk about them because nothing is wrong! If there is a problem, we'd like to think about it for a while, get it right in our heads, weigh the pros and cons about even mentioning it, weigh whether its even important enough to warrent a talk about it, before we say anything at all. And we do talk about it. Just not all the freakin' time. Extroverts who are constantly asking questions about how we're doing or feeling, usually end up pissing us off...creating problems where one didn't exist. Goading us or telling us its wrong not to talk all the time about things will not get us to open up more. It has the opposite effect. Extroverts don't understand this. And most of the time we land up banging our heads on the wall trying to explain it so we give up and not even attempt to talk about things in general.
To each his own I say. Accept us the way we are. This post was only intended to make some aware of the differences between the two. Neither is better than the other. Both have pros and cons. I have extroverted friends who like to get drunk and dance on the bar tables. I prefer to sit back and laugh at them. So who's better? The idiot making a fool of themselves because they are outgoing and don't think before they act, or the ones that are perceived as bores because they think of the results of those actions and don't join in?
*shrugs* | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:17:42 PM | I get along with all of the "verts" Introverts,extroverts...ok maybe not perverts  | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:19:54 PM |  foof
~OT~ I am not likely to discuss feelings. If I tell you terms of endearment once, it's how I feel. And unless I tell you differently, it's how I feel. I have been with more than one extrovert ~ and it's never been good. I used to wonder why my mind would instantly wander when someone was needing constant validation re: feelings. I once dated a man named Sean. I, to this day, call him "Let's Share Sean." He drove me crazy with his need to "share." One night, he said "Let's share ..." I said, "Let's not." That was the end of that. I had explained over and over and over that until there was a problem, there was NO problem. When he wouldn't knock it off, it became a problem for me. I am all for solving issues in a timely and organized/civilized manner. But I am not likely to stick around and have the life sucked out of me because "he" doesn't understand me. Hence, why I'm single to this day.  | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:26:00 PM | I'm with poster #2! Great topic, IMHO!!! LOL!
As for "The worst part is I don’t think extroverts realize the torment that they put introverts through. Having to listen to their 98% content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even listen to themselves. I can’t wait for the day when it won’t be impolite to say, “I’m an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you, but for now, please shush”"
I'm lovin' that one! | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:30:17 PM | indigoeyes says:
I have taken the Myers Briggs test twice, a couple of years apart. The first time it said I was an introvert, the second time an extrovert. How do I see myself...introverted with momentary lapses of extroversion.
Sounds like you are an ambivert. I, too, am an ambivert... I'm more or less a little of both, just depends on the day/moment. LOL! | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:45:02 PM | intorverted yes, so much so i usually take one or two months off each year and unplug the phone and batten down the hatches. However it not practicle right now in my life. I can be charismatic, charming, and interactive. I can also be abrasive some times. I choose when and where to be each. If i could be introverted all the time i probubly would, buy a castle in some remote area of the world, and maybe head down to the local for a couple of guinnie, just so the locals don't start circling the mote with torches.
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:53:24 PM | Thank you forty-six and 2. I'm going to send a copy of this to my mother. Your post pretty well hit the nail on the head. I fit right in the introvert category. My business partner is the opposite, an extrovert, and together we make a good team. She does the sales and can talk to people like she has known them for years. I plan the jobs and complete the work. I think there are extremes and some are close to center, but your post made a lot of sense, to introverts anyway. I'm an artist and like to sit and think about paintings that I'm going to do in the future. I have many in my head and like to pull them out and make changes to them and then file them away until the next time I think about them. The same goes for any inventions I mentally working on. I can picture them fully functioning, all the parts turning like some kind of complex auto CAD. An extrovert would have a hard time understanding this. I could see extroverts being more successful in life. They would fit well into management positions where communication skills and quick decisions are needed. I guess its not all black and white. I know people that have the gift of the gab and at the same time work alone in their work-shop for days. I wonder if Van Gogh or Da Vinci where introverts. Anyways thanks again. If I see you around I'll buy you a beer. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 9:54:54 PM | | Holy lord you just described me!! Small talk bores me to teaarrrsss. I guess that's why I'm minoring in Philosophy | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 10:00:50 PM | 43SilverFox, I think Da Vinci was, in fact, an introvert. I'm not an expert, and I've only done some light reading on Da Vinci, but Freud's "The Uncanny" shed quite a bit of light on the subject.
"For in truth great love is born of great knowledge of the thing loved."
This suggests that Leonardo would understand before loving. He would analyze and study, and thus be somewhat introverted in reflection.
Da Vinci is also known to take weeks and years away from his work, which could be used for contemplation.
For this I believe he wasn't much of an extrovert. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/12/2006 10:15:00 PM | Thanks so much to the original poster for putting up the information about introverts. Indeed, my experience is that we're not very well understood. Mostly that doesn't matter: everyone thinks he's misunderstood at times. But sometimes it can get to you, because we are in an extroverted world. The issue for me is how in a relationship can an introverted woman work with an extroverted man? I see how the opposite -- an extroverted woman and introverted man-- can work together in a hetero relationship. But the first seems more problematic to me...has been problematic for me....Help, anyone?
Thanks also for the info about personality testing sites to the person people who put that up. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:40:11 AM | Now can all we introverts have an official disclaimer...? Or 'alone-time' tokens.
So that when our bf/gf tells us "if you love someone, you want to be with them all the time", (as I have angrily been told) we can hand over some kind of pass that allows us to spend time alone without the other person sulking and crying, "why do you want to spend any time alone if you love meeee!".
I like this thread. I feel like less of a freak now. Thank-you. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:56:06 AM | I am an extrovert and I relish time alone, I am not a loner, but, I love to be alone. I have very few friends as that is my choice. I used to think I was a loner until a wise person explained to me that a loner is someone who does not want friends...someone who would be glad to live isolated.
I do not have a hard time understanding introverts, being the opposite, I at times am jealous of the fact that they are who they are. However, being an extrovert, I cannot get along well with introverts....which is understandable...so it is not that I don't like you or respect you....we have nothing in common. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 3:35:47 AM | OP, as an introvert, I found your post very articulate and informative about what it's like to be an introvert. I've often been thought of as arrogant, snobbish, rude etc because I wasn't one of those jump right in people in social/work situations. I'm the one in the corner always reading a book and wishing I was home.
For me, it's not just the content free talk I find difficult. It's just the sheer energy being given off by all the people. Like an autistic who withdraws because they are so sensitive to the noise around them, I find the energy and noise of people overwhelming.
And what you said about shyness really hits home ~ I'm not anxious about approval ~ I'm anxious about being surrounded by others. And I'm convinced this is the root of my social anxiety. Add to that the fact that I'm quite empathic and it gets even worse. And before I get jumped on for *that* comment, I don't mean that in any Star Trek/Deanna Troi sense. I'm highly sensitive to the emotional state of others to the point where it can affect my own state.
Thanks again for the post OP. Especially the part about NOT asking us what's wrong. *That* drives me crazy. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 5:14:17 AM | I'm reading all this and thinking - "Is this what we've come to? Everyone has to have a tag or a label?" I always thought part of the greatness of being a human was we are each so unique in our sameness.
If you have to tag me - call me a contra "vert". I cherish my individuality
<<< feeling ornery today | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 95 | |
| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 5:29:57 AM | OP that was beautiful!!
I understand....and it felt like you were describing me over my lifetime. Have y ou been spying on me?? Although I have adapted and learned to be a little more "outgoing" when necessary, the bottom line is that I absolutely need my down-time to relax and recharge. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 6:37:37 AM | I see how the opposite -- an extroverted woman and introverted man-- can work together in a hetero relationship.
Well for someone that was in this type of relationship for MANY years, me being the extrovert, it was hellish. After the "glow" of the relationship wore off, everything I did was wrong. I was too immature, too talkative, too outgoing, too indecisive, too nosey etc etc. Hell, he even accused me of being TOO HAPPY once. Dealing with his moodiness and constant criticism tore that relationship to shreds, not to mention tore my self esteem to shreds. People are the way they are and eventhough the thread has alot of good points, I'm also feeling a couple of digs towards the extroverts. We, the extroverts, also want to be accepted and respected the way we are. If you can't deal with the way we are then just steer clear of us. I'm tired of getting the disapproving looks from people because I tend to laugh too loud, or the uncomfortable stares because I have the audacity to say "Good Morning" to everyone when I get on a crowded elevator. If I want to dance on a table drunk as shit or break out into song while I'm walking down the street, I"m not a fool, I'm just being friggin happy. | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:47:40 AM | | Great. I got my daughter the actress to do it and she of course noticed who was who and that she's in with Elvis and Marilyn and John Candy. I apparently am like Hannable the cannible. Can I take it again? | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:13:39 AM | My what a post! I have seen alot of defenses up for grabs........
I don't think the author was trying to bash anyone person in. I think he was just merely explaining how he sees things as an introvert and that extroverts don't need to judge.
I do understand how one would get defensive. But it what not targeted towards you or what happened in your life. I feel the person i guess rainbowfish had a lot of emotions that day and feels that too many people judge them for being extroverted. I am sorry your marriage didn't work or your life seemed to be full of harrassment. But there comes a time in life where you have to let go of the baggages.
As for me I am both.............I am pretty sure about that. i am both intelligent and i do speak sometimes before I think...............I am outgoing and sometimes I am a loner so I think to label anyone person as this or that is not right but that is what society does and that will continue. It is what you use with the information that makes you aware of how to cope and how to communicate.
again i am sorry so many people suffer unhappiness in their lives and i hope everyone finds peace some way or somehow.
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:20:50 AM | The most interesting part of the test to me was the description of my personality type after taking the test. Everything listed in the description was familiar to me. Some aspects of the personality description are not very prominent in my own personality, but they are still there in some capacity.
The biggest reward I found is this;
INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people's thoughts or feelings. Unless their Feeling side is developed, they may have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed. Unless their Sensing side is developed, they may have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas.
This shows me that I must develop/maintain a feeling and sensing side to my personality.
Unless they complement their intuitive understanding with a well-developed ability to express their insights, they may find themselves frequently misunderstood. In these cases, INTJs tend to blame misunderstandings on the limitations of the other party, rather than on their own difficulty in expressing themselves. This tendency may cause the INTJ to dismiss others input too quickly, and to become generally arrogant and elitist.
Another opportunity for improvement, actually this I’ve known for awhile and is the main reason I’m on these forums. Before I ever read into psychology at all, I knew I had a problem with blaming others for my own communication inadequacies.
I find psychology to be an excellent tool in self improvement. One thing to remember though, is that even in the constraints of Jungian theory, there is more to a person than being an introvert or extrovert.
The first letter denotes which you will be, intro or extro. But there are 3 other letters that also describe the rest of your personality.
An introvert that is also a really strong thinker might not get along with an introvert who is a really strong feeler. However, one of those introverts might get along very well with an extrovert that felt as strongly as them or thought as strongly as them.
The main reason for starting this thread is because introverts MUST learn how to be an extrovert at times, but a lot extroverts don’t have a clue how to deal with an introvert, or even how to recognize an introvert. We both do the same thing, live life and learn, we just do it in different ways. The differences in those ways make introverts more inclined to be gifted and extroverts more likely to have excellent social skills. Without both of those qualities in our society we would cease to function as a society.
As an extrovert, if you can recognize and learn how to interact with an introvert, you’ve just opened up a third of the population that you likely wouldn’t have understood. For extroverts that are in relationships with introverts already, you have just found the answer to the most annoying of questions that you ask, “What is wrong?”
Spiral out, Keep going.... | |
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| The truth about Introverts.
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:29:55 AM | I have just read the last 5 pages.....................................I am laughing so loud!
I can't seem to understand why people are so judgemental.
Who cares about it???????????????? there is more to life than trying to convey what you are or aren't....................dang it people!
Life has so many meanings to it that it isn't all about who is or isn' this or that.
Does anyone get outside and see color????? Do you take time to smell the flowers or feel the air touch your skin???? Do you hug your family???? Say i love you to anyone??????????
That is what life is about.......................not all misery needs to be applied.
Maybe introverts.................should say hello to a extrovert and try to see them for them and not try to separate who is more intelligent between the two..........
And Extroverts..............stop it with the judgemtal views of how pathetic an introverts looks left in the corner at a party...................
everyone stop! Can you hear the world is suffering too many negativties.................too many people talking about this is the right way or that is the wrong way!!!!!!!!!! What is up..................????
Stop the fights..............................give the LOVE! | |
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