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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/16/2005 9:19:57 PM | Mark
--Females have a biological urge to be impregnated by males that have traits they see as desirable--
If this is so true, how do you explain an older woman's sex drive when she can no longer have kids?
Biological urge my ass....it is many times plain stupidity...who really wants to squeeze a basketball out a nostril? And then spend the next 18 yrs raising it? Women do have more of a nurturing nature.....tiz a hormone thing...
We are looking for way more than that...we (well, some of us anyway) have evolved beyond biology - and look more into soul/heart.
Squeak | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/16/2005 9:28:12 PM | Did you read all of my post?
I said that when we were successful as human beings, then we overcame those urges.
Anyway, those urges aren't really considered at a conscious level. We're talking primate biology, not human cognizance.
Striving toward humanity has required us to master those urges.
Unfortunately, there are a rather scary number that can't or just won't handle those urges.
As to an older woman's sex drive, that goes along with the human side, not the animal urges. Sex can be purely a recreational activity, especially for older people. This is so because they don't have to fight the hormones, etc.
You yourself made a good point for my post. "Tiz a hormone thing".
If I offended you, well, I'm not sorry if I offended you.
I'm here like everyone else and just expressing my opinion. I never said you had to agree and I certainly don't think you should have to agree with me.
Mark | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/16/2005 9:36:50 PM | Looks ARE a VERY important thing to me!!! But what you don't really understand, is that what I find attractive, might not be what someone else does....for instance....my best friend told me just the other day that "Have you noticed how you always seem to date *smaller* sort of *feminine* looking men??" lol....reallllllllly........
But you know what? When I look back at my 'pattern' so to speak, or what I'm attracted to, she's right! She's always dated the tall guys....6;0 and up. For me, I've always gone with the shorter ones. She prefers 'rugged', I've always gone for 'pretty boy faces'. It's never the same for two people....but the chemistry has to be there, whether other people find you/them attractive or not. And that's what it comes down to. | |
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medana
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Joined: 3/15/2005
Msg: 30 | |
| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/16/2005 9:43:36 PM | i always hear a lot of bullsh*tand complains from men about how we, women, put too much emphasis on looks...
yeah right, like they are not drawn to us because they find us attractive! like chemistry is wrong, and i should be blind or something! and they sure ask me out because they think i am so cool but they don't find me attractive at all, right?
we are intellectual as much as we are animals... chemistry is beyond looks, it is an instinct... some people will see me as beautiful, some don't even like me at all... i used to worry a lot about how i look, now i am relaxed just being me, because i know i don't have to put effort into being who i am not... by being me, i will always weed out all those men that would need for me to be different than who i am to be in my life, and i came to realize that if i am true to myself, the right one will come around!
chemistry goes both ways, and it's physical as much as intellectual, it's a combo of both... when someone gets u excited and becomes magical, there is something about them beyond a cute ass that draws u in... although i will say that i, just like everyone else, want to be with someone who makes me see red when he is naked.... u know, someone who even 5 years after the first night together will still make my mouth water just by walking around in underwear...
but beauty is in the eye of the beholder! what is amazingly attractive to me is nothing special to the rest of my girls, and viceversa. one day a guy came in where i worked and i thought i had died and gone to heaven... everything about him, from the way he looked, the smile on his face, the sparkles in his eyes, his hair, his skin... everything hit me like lightning within seconds and i had a difficult time being cool... i just had the urge to grab him right there and rip his clothes off... ok, i didnt do anything, i controlled myself... i had never ever had anything like that, that instant ever before...
so my gf was with me, and i was pointing him out with my finger shaking from trying so hard to restrain myself... she looked and said he was 'not her type'... go figure! it surely made me nuts within 30 seconds!
to this day i am still amazed that happened, and i still wonder what that was all about! | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/16/2005 9:47:32 PM | So medana,
Do you think that we start out at an animal level in our search for someone and then if we hit it off we then go to a human level?
A level where it can become magic?
Maybe a form of relationship evolution going from the primitive animal looking for the physical to the sentient human looking for the "magical"? | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/16/2005 10:22:09 PM |
There are several posts of phat women looking for phatter men.. Where are the posts looking for small and short men?
I have a concept (totally unproven) that I've wondered about. I'm a fairly tall guy. In any given men's store theres only a 50% chance they will have anything that fits me besides underwear. Same with shoes. Now I've always wanted to ballroom dance. I just think it looks really cool. I've never been able to learn though because I've never dated a girl tall enough to do it with who was interested. I need someone around 5' 9" or more.
The theory: learn to dance. (you will of course need to find a way around the no partner problem. maybe a sister or something) All the short chicks (Many more short chicks than tall chicks out there btw) need someone the right height to dance with. You're in like Flynn, literally.
A second advantage short guys have is in body building. You can get better form with less effort. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/16/2005 10:37:03 PM | Still, have you noticed the growing number of Big and Tall stores?
Overall, people have been growing taller, bigger, and some people chubbier.
So the old norms don't really apply anymore and the regular stores should pay heed.
Actually, I'm a fairly tall guy myself as well as thick. Oddly enough, I can still find a reasonable amount of clothing in a regular store, but I still hit the Big-tall places too. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/17/2005 1:19:58 AM | | I have a buddy that's about your height, maybe a bit shorter. He gets ladies left and right. He'a blue collar guy too, so it has nothing to do with money. The height thing does bother him a bit. I think he wears some badass boots to help him get a few more inches. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/17/2005 1:49:41 AM | tall doesn't necessarily buy you anything either. A lot of women find it grotesque.
Back on topic though I think that female looks prefrences absolutely pale in comparison to male ones, at least by population percentage. I know there are going to be a host of "not me"s , and let me be the first to say not me either, but you can't turn on a tv and say its not there. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/17/2005 4:09:45 AM | Squeak, that's so true! Makes no sense that women out of childbearing years should have such a heightened libido, and the inverse, why should women who are younger have a lower libido than that of an older woman? Very very strange. I'd love a logical explanation for that.  | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/17/2005 5:09:24 AM | | as i woman i think we tend to go after looks because of our own insecurities. it's immoral and i myself learned a long time ago that everything that looks good ain't good for you...lol i don't go for looks they fade in the long run. personality is a plus in my book... | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/17/2005 5:28:47 AM | | I must say that I agree with alot of what has been said here. confidence in one's self is paramount in obtaining great things in life. I used to fit the profile of never getting anywhere with dating.and life. I had a very low self esteem, and what I have found is that when you feel low about yourself, it tends to show on the outside. This is only my opinion, but in my life, I have always been hard working, and have lived somewhat comfortably, but the way I used to dress, keep my hair, body posture, etc portrayed a diffrent side.I looked as though I lived in the projects.(no offense on projects!) It is important to love yourself first, but like stated above, not to the point of arrogance. I was lucky to have a beautiful girl teach me about the me i knew was there, but had repressed due to lifes challenges and fear of failure. I was lucky in that I had a real friend who came along and slapped me in the face with the reality that I am a good person who has alot to offer, if only I would see it in myself first. goals are very important for self esteem. accomplish things that are realistic and within your means. They will do so much for your confidence. It has helped me alot, and people are seeing me differently these days. I am very shy in person, and that creates a barrier, but now that I have goals, it gives me the drive to strike up conversation. I have something of importance now to talk about. something to Offer if you will. I have found that women like men who have goals and ambitions. It tells them that this guy isnt a slacker, and wants all he can get outta life. anyhow, sorry for the long dialogue. it didnt even come out right, but There is a message here nonetheless... take care. | |
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coy
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Joined: 1/24/2005
Msg: 45 | |
| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/17/2005 6:34:35 AM | i'm full of goals and ambition. hell i wouldn't have made it this far without ambition. med school would have eaten me alive without those two things. it's always come down to being told i'm too skinny or ugly regardless of what i think about myself. so it's not that simple.
at this point, might as well just finish off med school and forget about women until i'm 30. that gives me 3 years to do whatever i want with my success. | |
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coy
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Joined: 1/24/2005
Msg: 46 | |
| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/17/2005 8:44:42 AM | i just don't want to end up in a relationship where...
1. the woman is just settling for me
2. she's after money
3. she's desperate for any man that will have her
gotta have love and trust in the mix. i don't want to start second guessing people later on. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/17/2005 10:53:38 AM | Chemistry is very nice, but I've seen lots of people who didn't have a strong attraction to each other in the beginning. They had friendship that grew into something more. Perhaps that is rare, but feelings change over time. If a person is addicted to experiencing that "spark", they may have trouble staying in a relationship. The longer you are with someone the less that initial attraction is there... I like to think something deeper develops.
Hopefully I'll find out one day. | |
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| medana
Posted: 3/18/2005 10:10:28 AM | | you make some good points but i don't care about the outside it's not what should matter because i've seen , met and know some really ugly people who guys druel over and the ugly in them is because they think they are so hot not every woman is like that but only a very small population of woman would look at me and not judge by what they see and a smaller amount of them might be attracted to who i am given the chance i was raised by woman and because of that i respect them because i know when they grow up it's alot to deal with and i had to deal with alot and i'll never think i've only a face a mother can love because i know i'm a good and decent person and i will not be alone for life because i know there is some one out there who will fall in love with me for what makes me tick so i hope all fall in love and have good lifes but remember this some guy or girl will ask you out and how many of you so called visually appealing people will blow them off by there looks alone ? | |
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