| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/21/2005 2:46:34 PM | Not as much as you think, Spankie.
One of the worst relationships I've had, was a girl (yes, I said girl) that was a catalog model. She had aspirations of doing bigger things, but apparently she wasn't tall enough. Anyway, she was the most mean-spirited, spoiled, and actually downright dumb person I've ever met. Her only two redeeming values were her good looks and enthusiasm in bed. Yes, I stuck around for the looks and sex, but I've matured since then and haven't made the same mistake again.
One of the best relationships I've had came later and was with an average and rather chubby woman (yes, she was a woman). Some people would call her plain or maybe even ugly, also she was really awkward in bed. However, EVERY other thing was incredible. Great sense of humor and we had many things in common. She was becoming a better lover as well. The reason we broke it off was because of our job and college situations. She was taking a job offer in Cali and I was going to do some grad work at Northwestern. Who knows, we may have even still been together today if circumstances had permitted. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/21/2005 3:08:46 PM |
It's been said that men fall in love with what they see, women fall in love with what they hear
I so Disagree...
like looks do not play a major factor for men?????????
Not for this one...
I fell in love with my wife before she ever sent a picture to me... And her with me...
True enough we are physically attracted to one another, but it had nothing to do with us falling in love... We met online and talked for about 2 months before even trading pictures... | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/21/2005 3:59:29 PM | reallyrusty: Looks have so much a deciding factor in women's choices just as they do in men's choices. This is the world. Just about everyone wants handsome or beautiful partners, whether they are personally ugly or not. Even the dissenters who say it's what's inside that counts, are just throwing up a smoke screne to make themselves feel less trivial about the real way they evaluate people.
America is the land of beautiful scenery, beautiful buildings, and beautiful PEOPLE.
If you don't believe this, look at the profile pictures. Men with their shirts off showing their physique (me too) and women in various sexy poses showing virtually everything except where men and women connect in the sexual act, and I even saw one showing that. Why do you think they do that? Because they know that above all, whether you write wonderful prose in your profile or not, it all comes down to:
HOW YOU LOOK!
HOW PRETTY YOU ARE!
HOW SENSUAL YOU ARE!
How you look has just about everything to do with both women's and men's choices. Just about EVERYTHING!
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/21/2005 5:05:12 PM | Sarita: Three reasons:
1.Marketing.
2.Culture.
3.Environment
I owned an employment agency for seventeen years (plus a number of other businesses concurrently).
One day I had an outstanding secretary walk into my office: type 100 wpm, short hand 120, able to operate all business machines, experience on all up-to-date word processors, 2 years secretarial school, and seven years secretarial experience. She was 28 years old. Wore glasses. Was neat, but visually unattractive. Not ugly, maybe on a scale from 1-10 (10 being Bo Derek), she was maybe a 4 or 5.
I had a file clerk working in my office who wanted to quit because she felt I worked her too hard: couldn't type 30 wpm without 10 errors, didn't know business machines, no short hand, and didn't have a clue how to use word processing. Fresh out of high school, but she was blond, built like a youthful Sophia Loren, and wore crotch high mini skirts. She was salivatingly gorgeous. Well...
An employer gave me a job order requiring: 60 wpm typing, WordPerfect, Lotus, and minimum of three years experience, plus he preferred someone who had graduated from a secretarial vocational school.
My file clerk knew I was paid fees by employers and she said that if I didn't send her on the job interview she would go on her own and I would lose the fee, if she got the job.
I agreed even though I didn’t think she had a ghost of a chance of getting it because the employer was adamant about the requirements.
I sent her, and the outstandingly experienced and talented secretary, and a secretary with less experience, but who met the employer requirements. This was not a front office job; the secretary would be working out of sight of the public.
Who got hired? Just guess? Of course, the no ability gorgeous 18 year-old who knew how to shake her butt at the right time.
Was this the only time this sort of thing happened. No, it happened time and time again, even with big Fortune 500 companies who said they only hired the MOST QUALIFIED! Yeah, right.
In the American society, we want beautiful at the expense of all else, and we normally also want it in our love relationships. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/21/2005 6:46:13 PM | Ron,
I respectfully disagree. I've stated in previous posts how it doesn't always apply. I told of relationships where I've preferred the mind over the body. I've dated beautiful and plain, fat and thin, tall and short.
I will say that when I was younger, that it was about looks, but as I've matured I count intelligence, etc. as important and often more important.
As to work and business, talent and intelligence are PARAMOUNT. We are talking money here. Looks don't make money for me, the talent, education, and experience of my workers does!!!!!! If I were running a strip club, it'd be different, but I run a small tech consulting firm. I would rather have a butt-ugly woman who was a talented programmer, than a beautiful stupid woman. The butt-ugly woman will make money for me.
Surely your business acumen isn't that low. If it is, then I don't know how you kept your business running for 17 years.
I don't mean to rag on you Ron, but you are just plain wrong. With me, I'm not trying to sound like the nicest guy in the world.
In my personal life I do try to be nice, but in business I AM A CAPITALIST PIG!!! | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/21/2005 7:10:50 PM | | I think that men also have looks be the deciding factor in the women they choose, and if there is not something physically, and it doesn't necessarily have to be their build, but it could be their eyes, or their smile, or something like that to keep me coming back. There has got to be something that grabs my attention about this guy. It could also be the way he makes me feel or the things we have in common. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/21/2005 8:07:15 PM | Markawelch: You're the exception; not the rule. And no matter how I support my case, you are not going to change your mind. So, you are welcome to your opinions and I’ll keep mine based upon hands on day in and day out close to 30 years experience in personnel.
Peace, brother! | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/21/2005 8:16:13 PM | saritamiami,
I agree.
Ron and I were having a side discussion that dealt entirely with employees at work and nothing else. It was a micro discussion and neither of us meant to say that it affected the whole issue.
Ergo, my capitalist pig self-description. It was aimed at myself in the same quasi point as was mentioned in our employee discussion. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/21/2005 9:20:43 PM | There is a person for everyone in this world, but it's like a needle in a hay stack unless you keep trying. There has to be the attraction, eyes, smile or whatever. Sure you can be liked by a lot on how you talk and how you present yourself. There are people who have the gift of jabber and the knack or being a smooth talker. One day the right person will fine you and meet you and there will be a spark. Best of luck.  | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/22/2005 12:21:46 PM | | what is looks other than a passing fancy i don't look great visually but i more than make up for it with attitude and respect and inner beauty is what attracts me not visual because you won't always look good but you might always be a great person if you'r not one who thinks better of them selves then they really are i'm not better than any one nor is any one better than me and i am so tired of certain types of people who are so stuck on the visual like the rating of pictures on here how do you rate a person by visual stimulia it's a sad culture we live in where a great person isn't given the chance though they in all rights deserve it so yes if i didn't think they were visually appealing but liked what they had going on in the inside i'd be thrilled to be with them | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/22/2005 12:43:15 PM | | my eldest brother puts most of the men on here to shame as far as looks, physical attributes ,heart , and the rest. it didn't used to be like that but as time goes by so do one's ideals he is now married to a woman who i never would have believed him to be with but she is a great person who loves my brother and he loves her and at 40 years old he can still get just about any woman he wants but he found true love and i'm very happy for him he is what i wish all guys could be like i admire and respect the man he's become and though i'm still jealous at some level i'm happy with myself for the most part and i deserve to find some one as we all do and i will because in my family the guys get better with age as i've noticed with myself i'm almost handsome with a goatee lol life should be lived in perspective we as a whole have a great deal lacking in ideals so maybe it won't ever change but guys like my brother , mark and myself and i'm willing to bet many woman and men will begin to change that whole barbie doll b/s | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/23/2005 10:50:32 PM | Knight must of definately been a woman at some point this lifetime... but man I take my hat off to you as I could never explain it as well as that, I dont think the women could either (hehehehe)
BY the way to Raven, sometimes my friend it works opposite too, just cos a guys good looking can be a pain, they think your a player even when you just want a chat, they dont like to introduce you to their friends, mmmm and then well..... I could go on, but believe me, sometimes being the opposite of what you call ugly have just as hard a time with women.
Personally the longer it takes the more precious it will become to you, and once its at the right level, life'll give you a nudge.
But Knight seriously when you have the opp (hope it didnt hurt) | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/24/2005 8:42:34 AM | Knight, many thanks from the middle aged for the refreshing wisdom of youth, or are you really 25? Seriously, post was awesome.
I have been in the forums jus tthe last couple of weeks, but I see a recurring theme of self pity from Guys. Knight is Right, ACTION is the only thing that can move us forward in this life. No man is ever going to understand every woman out here, but not having our photo on your profile sends signals other than a possible lack of "accepted" physical attractiveness. Get your own head straight before you worry about the one you pursue. ASK OTHER GUYS IN THE REAL WORLD. We help each other because as much of a stoic we are capable of being, we know we all have the capacity for a pain we can't help but sympathize with. CHANGE REQUIRES CONVICTION RUSTY. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/24/2005 5:46:49 PM | | since starting this post i've learned quit a bit from you who've written here and i've had some insight in my self and looking back i may or may not come across as some one who doesn't feel good about himself i do have things about me that i dislike but for the whole i like who i am though i'm not happy with my looks nor do i have marks confidence (gotta respect that man) and i don't have the narrow minded attitude i see in a few on here but i will continue to believe in my strentghs and work on my faults one day i will be with a great woman and be free to be me i do wish though i could look better on the outside but i can't so i'll just try to make the inside desirable to which ever lady who will want to live there life with me i wish the best for you all and i hope you'r lives are great and long and filled with joy so take care and thanx for the insight | |
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