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GTR
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 156 | |
| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/27/2005 7:57:55 PM | Under another topic heading in these forums I have recently read how women are wondering why men pay so much attention to looks displaying particular negativity to overweight women. This promptly concludes that women are not the only ones judging appearences. It works both ways, always has and always will.
I noticed alot of ladies and gentlemen complain about people that expect unreasonable "physical" standards from the partner they choose to date. They refer to them quite often as "shallow", "vain", among many others. However, when seeking a life partner for marriage it is essential to realize that physical attraction must be at least somewhat there. Lack of it will result in an unsatisfying sex life for one of the partners. A lack of a healthy sex life further promotes infedelity in relationships.
Now there is an over-used phrase that many people try to justify themselves with; "you might not be able to change the way you look on the outside, but you can change the way you are on the inside, so its the inside that counts." Well I would have to agree with this saying if it was said 30 years ago, but now? Well I think we are at a point in time where changing the way you look on the outside is becoming easier than changing the way you are on the inside. Therefore many men/ women are raising their standards when it comes to physical appearences. For example, lets examine a typical, so called; "unattractive" male.
Unattractive male: 30 years ago
Problem: Loss of hair..........Solution: Unavailable, unless you buy a wig
Problem: Face too wrinkled..........Solution: cosmetic surgery very rare and too expensive
Problem: Crooked nose.........Solution: cosmetic surgery very rare and too expensive
Problem: Excess fat..........Solution: liposuction rare, gym was a good alternative
Problem: Bad teeth..........Solution: cosmetic dentistry available at cost most could not afford
Regrettably, as displayed above it was very difficult to correct your physical attributes 30 years ago unless you were among the 5% of the richest population. Now lets take today for example...
Unattractive male: Today
Problem: Loss of hair..........Solution: Hair clinics costing less than cup of coffee per day
Problem: Face too wrinkled..........Solution: facelift cheaper than one month's rent
Problem: Crooked nose.........Solution: cosmetic surgery available at $1,500-$2,500
Problem: Excess fat..........Solution: liposuction takes an hour, short recovery time and cheap
Problem: Bad teeth..........Solution: cosmetic dentistry available at reasonable cost
So given the worse case scenario, assuming you are what women would categorize as "unattractive" having no hair, bad skin, big-crooked nose, excess fat, bad teeth; you can willingly change that by financing this "all-included" for about $100/month or $25/week. And I know alot of people are going to jump out at me and say: "why do I have to go under the knife to be attractive?" Well, you don't but don't complain that women don't like the way you look or just want to be friends when they see you.
Given the worst case scenario and if you really don't approve of the above, then just find the time to go to the gym 3-4 times per week, excercise regularly, eat healthy and you will have a body that women will crave. Statistics show that women value a man's physique just as much as his facial features so just by transforming your body you increase your chances of success by 50% and women will find you 50% more attractive. And please don't jump out at me and say; "well not everyone can have a great body, some people just don't have the genetics" because thats absolutely false. Everyone (assuming you're not affected by a disease) can achieve a great body just by exercising, weight training and eating; for some it just takes longer than others. I am not just saying this because I read it in a book but rather from personal experience.
Conclusively, if you are what is physically considered an "unattractive" male, by just transforming your body with exercising and food choices you can become 50% more attractive to the ladies. By actually putting some thought into clothing you can appear 10-20% more attractive in their books. And most importantly, YOU have to FEEL that you're attractive and in doing so you will display confidence, and I'm sure most ladies would agree that confidence is extremely sexy. So don't be let down by what people say, rather make a few changes and you'll be surprised of what a difference it will make. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/28/2005 9:47:33 AM | | there is an old saying (it takes all kinds) well that's so true you see i dance to the beat of my own drum but in order to be whole and in rythem i need that special lady who can be a part of my beat i am not perfect and never will be nor really want perfection we need to make mistakes to become better people i try not to make the same mistakes twice though i have and will again but one very important mistake i'll not make is choosing some one based on looks i take care of myself as well as i can but to be honest i'm poor in money but very rich in spirit i lack desirable things but you can't take it with you when you go so why worry about it as long as my bills are paid and my car gets me where i need or want to go i can find alot of things to do that aren't expensive i like every one would like to be able to afford a few nice things thats why i'm going back to collage i will do fine and never will i worry about what i don't have nor lack some lady will find she likes me for me and will either love me or leave me so life will continue and i will make the best of it and just for those who really do lie on here and say looks have little or nothing to do with choice thats ok you continue to lie to you'r selves i really don't care but for those of you who are honest you ladies i'd really like to know lol and i will be putting my picture up on here as soon as i have figured out what my computer has against me lol | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/28/2005 12:31:40 PM | Its just nature. Have you noticed that in nature animals in particular males are the fairer of the sexes? The reason being, is to attract females. Females are camouflaged so they can safely hide their young.
My other theory is that you are looking for women "out of your league". Lets face it, there are women out there who only look at the outside, how much money you have or what car you drive. Are you only looking for modelsque type women? They are usually pretty shallow themselves. Maybe you are not exuding how nice you are on the inside? Are you showing your dates you have low self esteem or are you showing them that you are an average man who has more to offer than what is on the outside. My advice.. find someone who likes you for you. Forget the others! Beauty truely is in the eye of the beholder and remember gentlemen those of you who are looking for trophy women.. beauty fades, dumb is forever and plastic surgery is very expensive :) Good luck to all. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/28/2005 12:32:44 PM | | Hey SaritaMiami, I think you are totally on course about social programs and no socialized medicine in the US. I´m an American living in Spain, and I´ll tell you what. I don´t pay any more taxes here than I did in the States. And no I´m not saying Spain is better. It just that Spain doesn´t have an organization like the AMA in place to ensure huge corporate profits at the expense of its people. It didn´t have 8 years of Reaganism to indoctrinate a generation about what they couldn´t expect from paying their taxes. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/28/2005 1:23:43 PM | | I want to comend Ron and Wantinyou for their honesty. There is too much of a tendancy to be fuzzy-warm and politicaly correct and enlightened in these threads. Almost all tv and movie stars are good looking which is just a reflection of our tastes, which are just basic animal instincts. The confidant man with cash gets the female. Looks , and the smiles a goodlooking man gets from women, help the confidance.The bigger the feathers the more attention and thus mating possibilities. We all know that the Magpie with the aluminum foil in it´s nest has a better chance of finding a partner than one with a leaf or a piece of wood. But in this men and women are basically the same. It´s understanding this reality and having the honesty to admit it is where we evolve. A healthy outlook on life is the basis. And no, none of us at 35 or 40 will get the same typ of attention we got at 20. It´s just natures way. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/28/2005 1:39:55 PM | A healthy outlook on life is the basis
^^^amen to that...today i ended we'll call it a friendship, or tried to end it anyways, with this guy, i was very very attracted to him, and vice versa, and we were going to see where things were going to go...but he has such a negative outlook on life, i just can't handle it. | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/28/2005 2:41:22 PM | southbaygal, exactly...animals in nature.
I used to raise Squirrel monkeys for many years. When the females were in estrus the MALES actually retained water between the muscle and the skin from the waist up.
The reason for this was because the females were the ones who chose their mates, and they usually based it on which male monkey was the most 'buff'.
It was funny to watch the males because they were so 'tight' from the water retention that they walked much like John Wayne.
Monkeys are very political. There are males and females that are more popular than others. They have cliques. They vie for the attention and approval of other monkeys. The monkeys with the most friends and the biggest 'muscles' during estrus are the most popular.
But there's always a new boy in town.
I've seen my monkeys bribe other monkeys with food and toys. Some of my monkeys LOVED sex, others didn't. Some were extroverted, others weren't. And the same few always got first dibs on food. The other monkeys knew it and accepted it.
They even punished one another.
Sounds a lot like our society, huh?
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late™
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Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 166 | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/28/2005 3:01:25 PM | And monkeys are incredibly jealous. They fall madly in love with their owners and dislike everyone else. I couldn't let them out of the cages while anyone was here.
They hated my husband. If he stood too close to me, touched me, laughed too loud, or raised his voice for any reason they wanted to kill him. Even if he sat too close to me while watching TV.
:-)
One time we were arguing and my husband went into the living room. I came into the monkey room, let the monkeys out of their cages, then yelled at my husband to go to hell.
The monkeys tore out of the room and went chasing my husband all the way to the bedroom. He had to shut the door to escape them.
The monkeys sat in front of the door waiting on him to come out. They were screaming and percolating.
I could make that game last as long as I wanted.
;-)
If you get one monkey mad, you get 'em all after you. And they were mad at anyone I raised my voice to.
I was a bad girl. I abused my monkey powers. It went straight to my head.
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late™
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Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 169 | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/28/2005 3:53:27 PM | | I know how it feels to be down on yourself. Even beautiful people get depressed and/or have a hard time finding someone they want to be with... or someone who wants to be with them..... as for looks, i peeked at your voting history and i see that even you limited yourself to the thin women with some beauty in thier features. Its human nature to want to be attracted to someone physically....... However, there are people who do not rely completely on looks. Maybe the girls you are talking to have a certain apearence in mind and arent quite prepared by what they see in your photo. I dont know you, but i can understand your pain to have eveything go so well and then all of a sudden,not. And after forcing your nerves to let you post your pic to the person youve been talking to. The problem you probably came across was that these women did like you alot but panicked on how to let you down. I for myself havent seen your picture. But i think it is safe to say that being open to someone about your apearance from the beginning will eliminate the problem of setting yourself up to be hurt. Most women look for GODS. It is shallow. But it is sincerly truthful. Everyone was made for someone. I believe that. We cant all be blessed with swarms of admirers ...... but it would be nice. Just be truthful to yourself and post something that says " judge not by apearance but by my heart" when they ask for a pic.. be confident. And maybe a woman locally who talks to you after seeing your apearance is a way to go also. I wish you the best of luck..... | |
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| why do looks have to be so much of deciding factor in womans choices?
Posted: 3/28/2005 3:57:32 PM | Hey there im a girl and looks dont have everything to do with it, most girls yes, but there are some out there looking for other qualities....but here is a q for you, you are asking why woman go for looks mainly well its the same thing really, you guys want a good looking woman, so whats the diff????
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