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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 4:59:32 AM | Ok....say you this chick is on here and she says HOWDY DO to you...she has a great smile in her pic and you fantasize what it would be like to meet her and date her..k? She tells you that she works out three times a week and bike , hikes and is very healthy..So after a few more emails and phone calls you ask her to meet you k?
When you finally meet her...she is a wee bit older than the pic shows...about 100 pounds heavier than you thought see would be and her teeth are no longer ..white and bright..oh and she smokes a lot..
EVEN you would think...what the heck? It's not vanity..it's the lies that is spread when we talk to people...they don't want to here your a few pounds heavier?
Vain people that get on here ..are just on to play games..they are not really interested in find that GREAT LOVE..they are bored and don't have any thing else to do but play games
Well, wouldn't you complain about honestly instead?!
You just love the sound of your own voice don't you Prophet - Maybe you should be a monk... You might shut up long enough to listen and see how vain you sound
Arealangel - that's because this is his own forum... Now that's what U call vanity HUH!!!!
TXMN:
Now after the third post, I know, that while not admitting it, YOU must think you are one of those people OP is complaining about.
To those of which ‘the shoe fits’ :
Why is it that some people cannot ever be respectful of other's feelings? Is it supposed to be only about you? Yes you do have as much of a right to disagree as OP to say what he thinks. I am sure that if you really think about it, you can come up with a better argument to state your disagreement, not just move right into blatantly criticize the way he writes or try to be a smart *ss because you think that the OP is talking about YOU.
What are you 12?
So come on now, think hard, you will come up with something, which could argue your point intelligently. That is if you have one... | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 5:09:12 AM | Holy jumping mother of Christ, OP. No freaking wonder you weren't allowed to continue in the other thread. Man! Get a life. You've got waaaay too much time on your hands.
I refuse to read your pages upon pages of disjointed ramblings. I don't have that kind of time. I will get right to the point and answer the question originally asked (which is, by the way, what we're supposed to do in the forums).
People are not so much vain, as they just know what they want. It's a little thing called "preferences", my friend.
Do you really want to date someone you don't find attractive?
I have yet to see a profile in which one of the listed preferences was "must be ugly".
It's not what people want.
Just like many people don't want to date someone full of hot air. Or someone bitter. Or someone who thinks he's the only one with a valid point. Or someone with a third nipple (personally that wouldn't bother me, Mark Wahlberg's got one and it wouldn't stop me from dating him, just throwing out examples  ).
My point is this: you cannot blame someone for their preferences. If you don't measure up to someone's expectations in a mate, then move on and find someone who's looking for someone just like you.
How many freaking times can this same horse be beaten to death? Do a thread search next time. Unless you've been banned from the other 231 threads about "how dare people have preferences"...
Have a good day, everyone!
~1cc | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 5:18:10 AM | I see an awful lot of vanity in the act of you posting this, OP. Starting your OWN thread so you can make unlimited postings and nobody can shut you up??
This post says a lot more about you than anyone else. If you're humble and not vain.....then you're humble and not vain! You don't go screaming to everyone else to stop being so, unless you simply can't help but revel in the sound of your own text. And in that case OP, you're NOT humble....and you're VAIN!
Why do I get the feeling if you did meet a truly beautiful person (inside and out) you would only see the outside and not even give them a chance?
In that case, add "ignorant" to the mix. Poor you. | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 5:47:58 AM | wow
I never expected to read such HATE in people's responses :-(
now people actually think that *I* am the vain one, merely for expressing my point to the point of exhaustive extent? I am sorry but I never knew that it was a widely accepted "more" (mor-ay) amongst humanity that to speak about a topic for such a length of time and space is somehow ... wrong ?
Don't people READ anymore?
Must everything be broken up into teeny tiny bits for "easy digestion" just like a parent chops up food for their baby child ? Must I only puree' all of my expression into the "cliff's notes" version whilst sacrificing all the power of the written word?
I think I have obviously touched on people's nerves here and ya know what?
I am not ashamed of anything I have said.
Perhaps some people feel guilty? Obviously others simply do not want to take the time to read much of what I posted, probably because it's "too much" for them to swallow in only 1 bite and that's about as much as they can eat, unless it is "pureed" for them like baby food. blech
I guess I am not the kind of person whom feels obligated to "pre-digest" anything I write, for anyone's temperate appetite for listening. If it's not something you want to read, then don't read it. I don't remember ever picking up this post and shoving it in anyone's faces. After all, it wasn't like I hijacked someone else's thread and used it for my own views. No, I posted my own. It actually turned out better that way because I would not want to do such a bad thing as that.
If some of you don't wish to listen (or read actually) then why did you reply, unless I really struck a nerve with some of you? perhaps with some the guilt of conviction might have taken place, or at the least, I would hope that I might let people see just another person's frustration with the rest of the human race (mine). Is that so wrong, to vent?
Suddenly I somehow feel like I would be instantly ostracized or criminalized amongst you people for simply having an opinion (even if it was expressed over a long group of successive paragraphs).
On 1 note which someone brought up, I never said that a person should never have preferences. Of course people do. I know I do. But was I even talking about MY dealings with people for purposes other than simply trying to find a friend? NO. All I am here for is to make friends, but obviously I ran into a very unfriendly crowd (many of you at least). wow. You know I never expected this kind of reaction from anyone. As far as what a person's preferences about someone's appearance might be, I am not someone to judge that. In fact I WASN'T JUDGINT THAT AT ALL. All I was talking about, is how ONE or TWO DIMENSIONAL, FLAT, SHALLOW, TERSE, SHORT, and "CURT", if not downright CRUEL on a first response, that some people can be on sites like this (in particular this site) AS WELL AS other websites that exist for the same purpose.
If anyone really had a problem with something I posted, I do not think it is a problem with me. I was merely expressing my experience, my feelings, and my thoughts, and especially my DISGUSTED REACTIONS, the repercussions within me, after reading that OTHER THREAD about people who are all against others who resent being looked at online.
Now, one final point: I also never said that it was ever right to "lie" about one's appearance. But I have to say this: if a person ever did lie to ME about their appearance and if i ever met them, I WOULD BE UPSET ONLY ABOUT THEIR LIE, NOT ABOUT HOW THEY LOOK (whether it be different or not). WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU ARE ONLY LOOKING FOR A FRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE ??? (as I am!!) HELLO??? MCFLY ???? THAT IS ALL I LOOK FOR AND I MYSELF do NOT CARE what someone looks like IN THAT REGARD.
I think that most of the problem here with peopler responding to me and what I read is that they are NOT TAKING INTO POLITE CONSIDERATION the fact of WHERE I am coming from, and WHY I am here. I was not judging anyone else for WHERE THEY were coming from or why they were here, only their comments on that other thread, which talked about "how ugly these people were who lied about how they looked, oh they were ugly as sin" etc etc etc..... NOW THAT IS DISGUSTING I AM SORRY BUT IT IS. Not the fact that someone LIED or that someone DID NOT LIKE THE LIE. But that someone would talk about someone else's appearance in such a way that DEGRADES THE OTHER PERSON simply for how they look. and THAT, my friends, is the SIN OF VANITY. AND THAT is what drives people apart, creates RIFTS in society, and causes problems amongst people of like behaviors. It is a SOCIAL ILL and I hate to see it happening in any online or offline society because it only CAUSES PROBLEMS FOR PEOPLE. And yet, people keep on doing it, because THEY DO NOT CARE. AND THAT IS ANOTHER THING THAT IS WRONG, and DISGUSTING.
yeah you all think i like to hear my own words, because I type so much. so what? DON'T READ IT THEN, go read something else like an Archie comic book, it might be more "on your level" to digest small bits at a time rather than something as important as this. SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY, MOVE RIGHT ALONG ..... obviously then my comments were NOT SUITED FOR YOU since some of you cannot handle them or will not bother reading them. Once again, I have not made anyone read anything. Being here is of free will, and that applies to ALL OF US.
Now, can we have some REAL PUBLIC UNDERSTANDING PLEASE ??? | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 7:06:20 AM | @ areaangel
I agree with most of your post on this huhuhuh "issue" or shall I say monologue? in any event the part I don't agree with you on is ....you say try the girl next door type nextime eh' I've done that many many times and they lie and play as many games as the "hottie" you say we are hitting on I call BS. to that statement
rotten fish make the best friends
the capn' | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:30:33 AM | Why are people so vain?
Think of it this way. Are you able to control what foods taste good to you? Of course not. In the same way, we're not really in control of what we're attracted to or not.
Yes, you can sit there and say people are vain but honestly, it has less to do with being vain and more to do with attraction -- which is completely out of most people's control.
Learn to do the right thing when someone isn't interested in you. Blow it off. Who cares?! There's billions of people on this planet. Our time is better invested on those who like us rather than those who do not....
Cheers. | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:55:44 AM | Well xemicangirl - I was making a point to th OP. He obviuosly has one! His own Vanity!!! He's not really being honest with himself at the real problem and why it bothers him so much that others are vain. The same problem that apparently you have since what I said bothered you so much you had to become insulting. I did not insult him or you at all.
This is so obvious it's rediculous. You want it spelled out better so you can understand, OK.
"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation--some fact of my life--unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
There I'M done!!!!! | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:00:59 AM | Dude, we all can relate to some people being vain, but that's life! Why do you let those "vain people" get you so upset and frustrated? There's no way people are going to change for you, nor will you be able to change their thinking. Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. Just be yourself and those of us who can reconize each other for who we are is all that matters!!
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:12:01 AM | I think the OP must be responding to something that personally happened we were all not witness to....I am trying to find out where people have been this vain and cruel to create this reaction. Honestly, there are a couple nasty people out there, but the majority of em here are following their hearts, likes and preferences.
A lot of people here want someone of substance, someone who is nice, someone who is grounded, but aren't going to settle for someone they aren't attracted to. That varies, and is not always going to be Brad or Angelina (or whoever the beautiful people are these days). It depends on the individual. Once you have the attraction and find out the person has no substance, you and most will probably move on. But it has to be there. Ya can't get mad about that. It's life.
People complain about someone who is "into looks" whatever that means, yet aren't attracted to every person they meet either. Strange...it should go both ways, yet it never seems to.
OP: I cannot find a clear cut majority of people that would warrant such a violent reaction.
And no, I didn't read that all either - but I get the idea of it since it was in the last thread, and reiterated here a few times in different ways.
P.S. OP you are a handsome guy to me, most women won't talk to a longhair, yet for me it's the opposite and gets my attention every time, I'd rather date one. A minority of women will be attracted to longhairs and most will tell you to cut it and/or make outdated jokes. Plenty of friends have harassed me about dating longhairs. My 3 ex boyfriends dealt with flack constantly. Perhaps it's causing some sensitivity? | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:13:35 AM | | I think its just human nature. Looks are only skin deep but many "pretty" people have gotten extra attention since they were kids. Sometimes I wonder if dogs even pick up on it. Then the "pretty" people get used to the special treatment. It is a very hard question for me. I'm honest with myself. I know that honesty and compassion are very important but when it came to dating looks often would come before honesty and compassion. I'm embarrassed to say that. I guess thats pretty shallow of me. The strange thing is in life I'm a very caring and considerate person regardless of looks or anything else. Its only an issue with dating for me. | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 9:47:23 AM | I am thinking it is not the hair. I too think it is very attractive - I love long hair on a man. He is not posting so much as having a tirade...a self indulgent and judgemental one, he is being every bit as judgemental as those he claims are out there .
I don't know what it is even an issue, looks matter, why would anyone aplogize for that? It is not the sole factor but of course it matters.
My two cents...there is such rage and bitterness in his exorbitant ramblings. He is every bit as demanding and controlling as the people he is criticizing. I wish he would stop trying to externalize the cause of that and start coping; it's a maturity issue.
When I look at his profile I see 3 photos, and one does not even look like the same person as the other 2 handsome ones. There seems to be at least a hundred pound difference changing his face. It is rejection over that perhaps, that is creating his hysteria. | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 10:56:14 AM | I look at it this way. If someone is below my standards of what I’m attracted too, then they fall under the friends category. It’s not impossible for the inner beauty to have me re-label them at a later date. Sounds pretty vain doesn’t it?
We all look for someone who has inner beauty, but we look for that in who we are attracted to. I do not find a 300 pound woman attractive so I would not be looking for a mate in a 300 pound woman. I would never stop someone from talking to me based on their looks, but I will stop someone from trying to get romantic with me if I don’t find them attractive.
Young people are learning. They don’t have as many lessons of life as those in their late 20’s or later do. Some don’t even learn from the lessons, then post threads in POF forums asking, “why do I always…..”.
I don’t think this is something you can force on people as the OP is trying to do with his ramblings. You can talk until you’re blue in the face, but until the person you’re talking to has had a humbling life lesson, they’re not going to “buy into it”.
I used to find it very annoying that I would not be “given a chance” by girls that I was attracted to. It wasn’t until after a lot of inner contemplation that I realized the law of searching for inner beauty in who we find attractive. I sat myself down and said, “Why am I being so hard on these girls that brush me off if I’m brushing off what I’m not attracted too.” That lead me to the realization that, to get what you want, you must already have it.
Okay I’m going to quote myself here;
. I would never stop someone from talking to me based on their looks, but I will stop someone from trying to get romantic with me if I don’t find them attractive.
I was surprised to find that most women that I told, “there is just a friendship here and that’s it” didn’t want anything to do with me once there was no chance of a romantic relationship. I find that to be very vain, I’m good enough to date, but not good enough to be a friend? I believe it’s also a sign of low self-esteem. At least some of these women should like to remain friends in the hopes that I will, “come around” to them. I don’t believe this is a healthy attitude to have, but a lot of people do it, I’ve even done it myself in the past.
If they’re not confident in their inner beauty, then I’m not going through all the work of taking a look at it. | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:30:11 PM |
Sorry. Obviously you're not getting the point.
What you're saying is just not interesting enough for us to spend all that time reading it.
2 Timothy 4:3 For the time is coming when [people] will not tolerate (endure) sound and wholesome instruction, but, having ears itching [for something pleasing and gratifying], they will gather to themselves one teacher after another to a considerable number, chosen to satisfy their own liking and to foster the errors they hold,
2 Timothy 4:4 And will turn aside from hearing the truth and wander off into myths and man-made fictions. | |
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vhdc
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 47 | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 1:05:47 PM | It's hard to believe all this chatter...first of all, if you look at what this site is?, it's a site for people to be what ever they want to be? If you're truly wanting to meet, hook-up, date or whatever your reasoning is to be here, then just do it! If you plan on stringing someone along in a perpetual email communique...say what you mean...It's a bit ridiculous to expect all
human beings to do this, since we all have walls of some sort...I personally don't understand myself why people don't want to be themselves, who knows
I think that if you really want to meet someone for some valued time...communicate in the best way possible "talk" to each other K? and have fun out there for god's sake! | |
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| WHY are people so VAIN? Arrrghh, it makes me so sad, sick, and angry :-(
Posted: 9/13/2006 1:54:18 PM | First let me admit to NOT reading everything posted to this thread...don't need for my head to explode, thanks just the same.
Naw, when we get into our 50s we have the face we deserve. Look what happened to me LOL...
I don't think it's vanity to seek out people that are attractive to our own personal standards... and that means mentally and emotionally attractive as well as physically. For the unfortunate men and women who can't seem to see past physical attributes( or lack thereof)
well they are missing the full value of the online dating experience.
Have I met/dated people without seing a photo? Yes I have. I've met and dated guys even though I wasn't that impressed with their photo. Has a guy ever dated me without seeing a photo? I seriously doubt it. When I first got into online dating I didn't HAVE any recent photos, and then I posted my "graduation" photo from Repperts. (I looked like Janet Reno's ugly kid sister)
When I got up some more flattering photos, and rewrote my profile, THEN I started hearing from guys.( It started out " I'm old, ugly and poor. When I walk into a room the MICE jump on chairs...) And yeah I got dates with guys who probably thought I was LYING about that. Can I help it that I managed to get some exceptionally nice photos? Let that be a lesson, believe none of what you see and only half of what you hear(or read)...
OP, if you are gonna go around sickened, saddened and angered by what other people do, say and think, it's gonna be rough sledding for you, my friend. Oh I agree that a lot of it is not fair and may indeed be just plain wrong, all you can do is try to be a better person and rise above it. Working yourself into a towering wrath will only give you ulcers.
Cindy O | |
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