| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/20/2008 10:54:23 AM | Correct observation Rodney. Everyone has a differnt tolerance level of what we are willing to "put up with" and still find that person of good quality.
I do believe everyone has the basic inherent ability to be a good person though, so it always disappoints when they choose not to, call me naive. | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/21/2008 4:02:36 PM | Nice guys? Check out the "nice guy" that found me on the "tri city area parties" thread while I was minding my own business but you have to make sure you check out his profile, that makes him even far more special. ( I hope you all can hear that sarcasm) I think I have an invisible sign somewhere on me that only dirt bags can see that says "hit on me"!!! It's time to send in the nice guys!
Grrrrrrrrr! Sorry, today I'm not Miss Optimistic, just tired of the BS all the time.
Linda...I say go with your heart. Do you really really like this guy or is it that you just want someone to date? I don't know him so it's so hard to say...my first impression is that he's not good enough for you girlfriend. As hard as it is to be alone, I do understand lonliness, you don't ever want to just settle. You are worth so much more! Soooo...if he makes your heart go pitter patter...go for it, if he's just another guy, kick him to the curb for something better. (But remember before you do anything I suggest tonight, I'm in a crappy "I've just about had enough from men today" mood)
Robin | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/21/2008 4:31:56 PM | | That's kinda going around Robin, must be the weather or something. | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/22/2008 2:18:46 PM | Hi Robin,
I am seeing him on Friday. I won't let him pick me up...I will be meeting him at a well lit restaurant! This is a Friends Only Meeting and I said that I will be leaving by myself. I told him straight up that I need to know what is really going on. He claims that he is afraid of "OUR" feelings. He doesn't want a committment for a while and doesn't want to hurt me. (Well that's already done!) He says that he is not with his wife and hasn't been for three years. He won't get a divorce because she wants half of his business and he had the business way before they got married. He gave her a new house and car and thinks that is enough. This is where it's at right now. I already knew most of this. I really like this guy but I think he needs to get divorced and go on with his life wether I am in it or not. I guess guys can say whatever they want and we either believe it or let it go. This is where I am, at the moment.
Hello Lawrence, thanks for your input. Have you changed your profile yet?
Linda | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:01:36 PM | | linda, my brother is going through that crap, left the wife and for money reasons won't divorce her, blah, blah, and his gf of five years crabs about it all the time. i said, well, dear, this is what happens when you get involved with a married man. i have been hearing the same complaints for FIVE YEARS NOW. i will not date a man unless he is divorced. if he says separated, fine, get your divorce and come back. it seems to lead to too many hurt feelings and misunderstandings.......... | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:12:49 PM | Oh Linda....I wish I could be sitting next to you while I say this....
Guys say all kinds of BS and his is the biggest pile I've heard today. He's married Linda, plain and simple. How long has he been married that he feels she doesnt deserve some compensation for his crap? Do you know for a fact that they aren't together or just what he says to you? Tell him you want his address cause you want to stop over Saturday and bring brunch...just to see what his response is. I have a sinking feeling his "doesnt want a commitment means all bad news. You want to move on in your life girlfriend, you don't want a guy who wants to set the rules and you have to follow them according to his plans...Mr don't want a commitment indeed. He's married still and doesn't want a commitment, that's two strikes right off the top of my head....he's afraid of "our feelings" you said and I am guessing those were his words Linda, thats strike three hon, this dude is a player from way back I fear and he sure don't deserve the likes of you!!! He hurt you and went all silent and didnt care one bit...he was playing the "waiting game" with you. Now he thinks he has you where he wants you and he's going to play the "sympathy game" this time hon. If I gave him the benefit of the doubt, the only thing positive I could say is this....tell him to hit the road and come back to see you with his divorce papers in hand. Linda....you deserve far far better and there really is someone else out there to give it to you, it just takes time to find him....I'm going to be thinking of you Friday and crossing my fingers....keep us posted
huge hugs...
Robin | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/23/2008 5:15:48 PM | | i agree with robitty. i think, linda, you know in your heart of hearts, this relationship could lead to hurt feelings. women are better than that. life is not all about money. that is just an excuse for some men. if he wanted to truly move his life on, he'd divorce her........just my opinion.............but good luck!! | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/24/2008 3:44:14 AM | Hi Robin and Joanne...
I took what you said to heart. I have cancelled Friday night . I told him that something came up and I can't see him right now. I know that I have to think things through and you're right, I'm thinking with my empty heart and not using my brain. He knows that I am going through a lot with my Moms cancer and my Dads breathing disabilities. I think I will play "the game" the way he plays it. I have to go on with my life and stop thinking about him. I won't be talking to him anynore. This guy has just stopped me in my tracks and why am I letting him do this to me? Every time I talk to him I just seem to fall into a million pieces. It's not like I don't have anyone else. I have two other guys that want to pursue a relationship and I don't or won't let them IN. I guess I am being too picky and don't want to see where another relationship can go. I know that I sound a little shallow and I probably am. Do you know where I am coming from?
Why is it, you want what you shouldn't have? I want to thank you for opening my eyes! If you hadnt' said what you did I may have gone through with this and would be very sorry. He is a smooth mover and would have probably had his way this time. Thank you for being so upfront and honest to me. You have probably saved me from a really bad experience that has gone on way too long.
Linda | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/24/2008 3:49:35 AM | Hi...it's me again
I just thought you should know that all of my friends have said the same thing to me. It just took someone who really doesn't know me to wake me up!
Robin...I wish you were in my area, I think we could become good friends. You seem to be a caring person and know what you are talking about. I hope we can keep in touch.
Linda | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/24/2008 12:53:04 PM | well robitty i didn't see the sign on your back ....so does that mean i'm not a dirt bag?
you can tell me the truth i can handle it | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:57:37 PM | Oh Linda....{{{HUGE HUGS}}} to you! We can be good friends even if we don't live close and of course we can keep in touch! if you have "only males" listed take it off and we can email one another besides talk here.
Unfortunately I know what I'm talking about from experience, I learned the hard way by jumping into the fire right after my husband left me for his girlfriend. I too had that empty heart syndrome but no one to advise me it was the wrong guy and he was playing games, ouch, learned painfully hard and painfully fast.
The other two guys you are talking about...remember, if they aren't the right ones, it's okay, there are lots of nice guys out there, take your time and enjoy life until you find the right one, do NOT settle, ever, just because you are lonely, or because you don't want to be alone. I hate being alone Linda, I hate it with a passion, but I refuse to settle, I want someone that makes me smile, makes my life complete, not a mate to just share a cave with so I'm not alone...do you know what I'm saying? We deserve a chance at real happiness girlfriend, so that's what we need to look for!
BTW....where do you live anyway, the general area I mean?
Hodgie.... a dirt bag? you ???? Never never never have I thought of you as a dirt bag for even a second!!! You have class darlin' !!!!
And fear not, I always tell the truth, I am brutally honest
Now about that tent you're going to make for me.... lolololol | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/24/2008 3:45:02 PM | Robbin...
I switched my mail to anyone but now I can't figure out how to find you. I live in Wayland. It's a dinky little town about 25 miles south of Grand Rapids.
Leave it to me .....sometimes computers just totally confuse me!
Linda | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:47:44 PM | | bejamin...doh... er... umm...is it me or doesnt it sound like nero programming to have a handle like smiles a lot and sound like you are not capable of being happy???LMAO!! Best laugh I had in weeks. But I hate the fish bowl email crap you all are talking about...if so many dont like it...why dos it go on???? | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/25/2008 5:22:26 AM | Well said Robin and a huge hug for you too for going thru the same thing. :( No better advice can be given than from someone who's been there. 
Just an FYI to Linda : You dont have to remove your 'only men can contact you' thing on your profile. If you add a female friend to your favs list and she adds you too, you can both email each other without lifting your restrictions. :) | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/25/2008 6:25:24 PM | Ahhhh good advice Ripley, thanks a lot!!! I wasnt sure how else to do that! Linda found me too btw! | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:27:31 PM | | ok robitty that tent has no windows so its going to be "really hot" | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:32:10 AM | Hodgie! LOL!!! Ummm, uhhhhhh....yeah, well.....why the heck don't they have a blushing smilie here anyways???? | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:47:39 PM | | i met a fella this weekend who could not stop obsessing over how good looking he was. poor thing....i was simply bored to tears!!! | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/28/2008 3:10:52 AM | | ohhhh no Joanne, you poor girl!!!! You should of asked the waitress for a mirror and handed it to him, then got up and left | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:08:23 AM | robitty, i kept staring at him thinking this has to be PUNKED or something. he basically was hinting i should be honored to go out with him. the more he bragged, i mean, talked, the dumber he looked. it was actually kind of fun. his lucrative high paying position all of a sudden was gone. he got fired, but was suing them. and his nice house was foreclosed on and he moved in with mama temporarily. now, living in michigan, we can all empathize with the plight of the job market and the housing market. it hits too close to home. however, this is a person i'd been talking with for TWO WHOLE MONTHS, and none of this came out until the night we met in person, LOL. and he was driving mom's car because the bank took his back. i seriously was looking around for hidden cameras. i guess he figured the only way to get/keep a woman is to brag about his good looks. in my opinion, he was quite ordinary. to go on looks alone is quite shallow, and something i rarely do. i love the dorks, geeks and not so pleasing on the eyes fellas. i've had some great relationships with those gems!!! basically, it seemed to me he was hinting that a plus size gal like me cannot get many dates, but he'd date me. bestill my heart
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:11:34 AM | | BY THE WAY, LINDA, I'M GLAD YOU SAW THE LIGHT. and trust me, we've all made those same mistakes. you can't help who you are attracted to. it sounds like it will take you a while to get over this man. just start going out more with the girls and have fun. don't let him bring you down!!! | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:43:28 AM | OH ONE LAST THING. the fella was NOT from POF !!!  | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 4/28/2008 5:20:13 AM | | i know lots of nice guys...lol,my 3 sons, 2 brothers, dad, uncles etc...awww and i've met lots of nice guys from here too...i just think when the woodmizer dubbed me "sister" kat that no one wants to break the "habit"...lol...life is too short to be anything but nice (to all you meannies out there) male and female alike...on the flip side linda, i take it the guy you were seeing was in a terrible marriage, jeez it takes us humans a long time to realize mistakes sometimes, and i know from experience that it makes a person gun shy...he might just figure his chooser is broke and he doesn't want to hurt you too...just my humble opinion | |
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