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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 9/28/2006 4:26:28 PM | First a generic question to a couple of posters to this thread...is your "caps lock" stuck or DO YOU ALWAYS SHOUT?? (typing all caps in a forum, chat room, IM or email is regarded as what would be yelling or shouting in a person-to-person situation.
Nice guys and nice women are everywhere, in ditches, under rocks, behind the barn door, up in trees...you get the picture.
Nice guys, just because a particular lady isn't interested in you,either from email 1, to an in person meeting/date that doesn't lead to more dates, does not mean that your niceness is a drawback or fault. And the women who stay with men who treat them like sh*t? Those particular individual women have issues, it is NOT a standard female trait to be attracted to men who treat them badly. To make that assumption is just plain stupid.
Nice ladies, just because a man doesn't respond to your email, or the email correspondence tails off, does not automatically mean that particular man is a bad man looking for a dumb helpless woman. The "one-date wonders"? Probably just didn't feel any physical attraction.
The guy who disappears after "he gets what he wants"? That's been happening since WAY before Al Bore( oops I mean Gore) invented the internet.
I don't pretend to have all the answers( hell I ain't got ANY of 'em) and I've wondered the same things; Is there something wrong with ME? Or are all the men in my age range just weinies? Do I maybe smell funny? Is there yellow cat hair all over the back of my skirt? ARE all the good guys taken?? What the hell is the matter with people these days?
Then I joined this site, visited the forums, and I see TONS of other women, and men too, struggling with the same questions and issues. Do I feel better? I'm not sure whether I feel better or just less like the Lone Ranger. But it helps.
Cindy O | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 9/29/2006 9:36:49 PM | | well if you girls werent such little ****es then maybe we would be nice | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 9/30/2006 3:18:23 PM | | why are women such little ****ing ****es | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/7/2006 5:07:40 PM | | Whew, I was so relieved to read your response! I am pretty new to dating, period. I've had a few of these disappearing acts, and it was starting to scare me. Finding someone on any dating site (or anywhere actually) is like finding a needle in a haystack. Patience is necessary. In the meantime, I concentrate on my family, job, and home. More importantly, finding out who I am, what I really want, and what other purposes my life has. I'd love to learn how to play the guitar, and just grow as a person. I treat others as I want to be treated, and if someone does this disappearing act, or can't be truthful, well, I see that as more their issue than mine. I may take it personally for a short time, and that's it. I have better things to do with my energy. But, thank you for writing that. I know there's good guys out there, and you must be one of them. | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/7/2006 6:53:55 PM | Singlemom49519 (well there are nice guys out here but none of you want us) nice guy finish last and most women are age are Jaded so they can't see past the tip of there noses
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/7/2006 7:15:22 PM | | I think they are truely nice guys.....Maybe they just don't like my pic....or tha fact I wont have sex w/ them....their loss | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/8/2006 1:15:12 AM | Here's the problem,
Nice guys stay hidden (nice being low-key, mousy, yes-dear worker-bees)...
Then they lose their virginity......then they're hooked.
Next thing you know, this nice guy is being emotionally abused by a dominate woman, gets married, has a kid or two (not necessarilt in that order), and eats a lot of (name your animal) poo until he meets woman B.......
Then things change...
He partially regains his self-respect, has a renewed will-to-live instilled and finally realizes that another woman besides his ex-wife may also find him attractive.
At this point, he sexually matures.
Re-read that.
Sexually matures, then he actually communicates and says his wants and needs to his partner (in a self-protected way), and temporarily feels satisfied. Problem is, at this point, his ex realizes SHE screwed up, and wants him back!
SO, he goes back, tries to make things right (for the sake of the kid, he tells himself), gets re-tortured emotionally by her AGAIN, THEN finally...finally, leaves her on his own.
At this point, you have your nice guy, but a bit scarred (and scared).
Then he winds up being in a forum like this, realizing he COULD be a lot happier than he is now, and really, really wanting to meet his REAL wife (not the practice one that now wants to make his life hell after she's re-married to his ex-best-friend).
Burn is, the nice guy STILL never knows what to say to a woman. Basically, SHE has to pick HIM up.
BTW, the nice guy usually studies sexual positions and techniques at one point or another, and will satisfy you better all the way around. Some women are stupid to push those guys away....
Hope this helps, I USED to be a "nice guy" also. | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/8/2006 6:43:36 AM | Hi, i think cassidy8503 has something there when she said everyone has a personality blooper!
And women and some men are too quick to judge and what hurts us all is we are impatient and have that grocery store mentality! meaning we allways have to find the nice looking fruit it has to be perfect,no bruises,not too green,not too small,and the right price and we seem to want that in people we see on here!
So if we all have some personality bloopers and/or not perfect in some way we dont respond to e-mails or e-mail once and then thats it!!we have to give it a little more time and know that most people have a bruise or 2 and too green or over ripe ect..
Think positive,be nice,be a little patient,and a little understanding!
....Thanks.....................................................................................Michael | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/8/2006 10:53:15 AM | | You want to know where nice guys are? They faded out with disco and bell bottom jeans...I used to be one of those nice guys...until I met my ex. I was good to her and all I got was a lot of flack...but that's just the way it goes with women...they only want guys who'll hang out in the club, screw around and live life for themselves...there's where all the nice guys went; they dated women who made them into not so nice guys... | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/10/2006 12:16:52 AM | Here's the problem,
Nice guys stay hidden (nice being low-key, mousy, yes-dear worker-bees)...
Then they lose their virginity......then they're hooked.
Next thing you know, this nice guy is being emotionally abused by a dominate woman, gets married, has a kid or two (not necessarilt in that order), and eats a lot of (name your animal) poo until he meets woman B.......
Then things change...
He partially regains his self-respect, has a renewed will-to-live instilled and finally realizes that another woman besides his ex-wife may also find him attractive.
At this point, he sexually matures.
Re-read that.
Sexually matures, then he actually communicates and says his wants and needs to his partner (in a self-protected way), and temporarily feels satisfied. Problem is, at this point, his ex realizes SHE screwed up, and wants him back!
SO, he goes back, tries to make things right (for the sake of the kid, he tells himself), gets re-tortured emotionally by her AGAIN, THEN finally...finally, leaves her on his own.
At this point, you have your nice guy, but a bit scarred (and scared).
Then he winds up being in a forum like this, realizing he COULD be a lot happier than he is now, and really, really wanting to meet his REAL wife (not the practice one that now wants to make his life hell after she's re-married to his ex-best-friend).
Burn is, the nice guy STILL never knows what to say to a woman. Basically, SHE has to pick HIM up.
BTW, the nice guy usually studies sexual positions and techniques at one point or another, and will satisfy you better all the way around. Some women are stupid to push those guys away....
Hope this helps, I USED to be a "nice guy" also. | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 4:46:52 AM | Sorry to hear you got jacked, and I'm not disagreeing with you, but on the text only forum to describe yourself, one might put that down as a fair description of themselves. Especially if it's a characteristic that they feel prideful about.
Though I do say don't be to critical about there being no nice guys around, remember early on we were taught to treat a lady like gold, to be a knight in shining armor when possible, even if it means simply holding someone while they cry, help others, and so on. Then we hit high school; get walked all over, and watched jerks walk away with the girl, only to watch them cry when it didn't go well. And though they cried to us, we were the eternal friend. While at other times we would simply lose the girl to someone else, or be cheated on.
What astounds me is that it continues till college sometimes, and we get to hear "where are all the good guys at?" Well they either got picked up by the one person who recognized what they really wanted (aka a nice guy) or they became bitter and eventually became the other type, seeing that it was more successful.
Please don't get me wrong, my gender is weak by design. Though I tend to hold my own against the power of women, my fellow man tends not set a good example  | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 7:01:26 AM | I have to agree with my main man Poma from the first page. A lot of woman talk a lot of crap
about looking for decent guys, not nice, but decent, and still end up with some biker, hood, fake gangster rapper type thug. I, for one, and I'm sure Poma and other would agree, am tired of hearing women **** and moan about the lack of quality men. Hell, what about the lack of quality women dammit???!!!!.
There are a LOT of women, but not a lot of quality. In michigan, there are quite a few women with stank attitudes, bunch of kids by different dads running around, uneducated, ghetto, trailer park type, not looking right (weight, personality, etc) and mentally unstable who think they are just the best thing on the planet, and have the nerve to think they are superstars, and have an overall, nasty attitude. I don't want a woman like that at all, but it seems like that's all you run into. Is it too much to ask for to just find a decent or "nice" woman?. Its seems like mission impossible. I chose to accept the mission, but it keeps blowing up in my face.
I'm not looking for a supermodel or super rich gal, just a normal gal, who ain't crazy, has common sense, looks decent, and would actually appreciate me for who I am, and isn't dragging around a brood. Trust me ladies, you ain't the only who's having problems finding a decent mate. Before I end my rant, remember this age old adage: Quantity does NOT = Quality.  | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 1:56:37 PM | Hi I met a wonderful gentleman !!! Go by the actions no words. Good Guys are still out there !!! Don't give up !!!!
Smile !!!!
Kitten | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 3:07:05 PM | i fully agree with you! Nice guys are still out there! I have been burned in the past but isn't that what dating is all about anyway? Finding who's right for you and who's not? I think if you choose to remain jaded from whats gone wrong in previous relationships your damming yourself to find the same type of man and the same type of relationship problems. So this is for all the good guys out there, I know you exist and i give you props for remaining decent men!! : | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 3:35:09 PM | | Poma i agree with you...all of us are looking for a nice guy and when we get one we think hmmm not cute enough...or too nice...i want a little wild boy too... is there such a thing as a nice guy with a little wildside to him? i seem to run into what really is a nice guy but he is just toooo nice...to the point of i feel like his mother... women like a nice and i think the key word is " considerate" guy we are looking for chilvary..like opening doors..and thoughtfulness..but yet someone to tell us when we are wrong . someone stable and strong.women like to have that safe feeling with a guy...some nice guys just don't give that image. therefore you get tossed into the pile of yep he's a nice guy but just too nice...i believe there is nice in everybody...it just how much nice can a girl handle without feeling like their mother? i dated this guy for a very longtime that was just the sweetest most thoughtful guy...but he just had no balls...he let everyone walk all over him and never would stand up for himself in anything! drove me crazy! | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 4:03:59 PM | Let me help you. Do you know how to tell which one is the nice guy?
He's the one on the white horse. | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 4:07:48 PM | I want a little wild boy too... is there such a thing as a nice guy with a little wildside to him?
What?? Kid Shelleen ain't wild enough for you? What do you women WANT???????
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 4:42:10 PM | | OK so there are nice guys out there and yes it's true we can't base our future on our past. I think it takes a certain discernment on both ends to figure out if they are the right person or not. I got plenty of instinct and words from people that certain of my exes were wrong for me (hence the ex part). I just got stupid and did what I thought was right, only to get burned. To use the words of the Manfred Man song, I was "blinded by the light." I'm sure I'm not the only one who got stupid...but I tend to think I'm the only one who could get in over his head like I did. Will I find someone? I hope so. Do I think so? Not totally...sometimes I wonder if anyone could deal with me like I am now. I admit fault for some things, and that makes that nice guy image go to pot. Different strokes for different folks I guess... | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 4:43:27 PM | | You are so right, robzilla, major props and an amen to you... | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 8:39:39 PM | Yes your right, If a man/woman is real they don"t have to advertise how nice, wonderful, kind they are(but I don't think that matters People can't see past the end of there noses)When there's a nice, wonderful, kind person right in front them they can't see them (as Ted Nugent had said) "If you aint makein waves you aint rowin" So dose (nice, wonderful, kind matter) | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/17/2006 9:10:39 PM | | Alright, who wants the answer? There is no answer. I used to think that females knew what they wanted until they got that and then it changed because something wasn't quite right. Now I think that females are always on the lookout for an upgrade. Don't think for one minute that they wouldn't, if they could take all the traits they liked from their previous partners and make what they would think the perfect partner would be. It's a lot like shopping for a new computer. If they could just buy a new motherboard, or a new hard drive and insert it into their partner everytime their tastes changed, (which is about as often as Michigan's weather changes in a week) they wouldn't hesitate. Since they can't do that they have to throw away the whole system when they feel their needs aren't being met. So, lets just say they find that nice guy... well he'll probably be too nice and not adventurous enough... yeah that sounds like logical reasoning... Next time I'll look for a guy who treats me like garbage and sleeps with my sister so I can complain that there aren't any nice guys out there. | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/18/2006 9:19:26 AM | Oh there are tons of nice guys out there. There just arent any SINGLE ones in my area! lol
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blr831
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Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 74 | |
| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/18/2006 9:46:23 AM | Not to sound redundant or rehash some of the things that has been said by both men and women alike in the Nice Guys? Where? post, but I am going to play the devils advocate here. Both sides have very valid points but at the same time, its not fair to men to say that there arent any nice guys around because its just not true. I mean I myself have been burned before by women on more than one occassion, but in my case, I didnt and wont let that deter me or sway my opinion of women in general. That would be insane to classify all women based on the actions of a few. And men should get the same courtesy from ladies just because they have been played or dogged by a few game players. In reality, both men and women get that treatment. And I am not saying this is always true, but women always talk about wanting a good man, but lets be real here, how many nice gentleman have been passed up in favor of the bad boy/thug type. But yet they wonder why they are treated the way they are. Like a lot of people have stated in this post, looks arent everything, but for some reason, women still gravitate towards the wrong type of guy and yes a lot of the time, its based on his looks because its appealing to them.
I have also noticed how in this post that people have stated that a genuinely nice person does not need to advertise that quality about themself as well as other qualities because it will naturally show. Newsflash, how else is a person going get any profile views if they dont say some of those things. Everyone will agree that looks do matter to a certain extent, but if you dont have your profile filled out with positive things about yourself, who is even going to give that profile a second glance. So yes at that point in time its up to the individual to get to know that person and decide for themself if he/she is sincere about what they say. I mean its no different than when a politician is running for an office. They says things that will sway people in his/her favor. But in both cases, you still have to put the work in to find out if they are what they say they are. And yes unfortunately you are going to get a few people whom arent what they say they are. Thats just a part of life in that you win some and you lose some. But in the case of if/when you find that one person isnt it worth it in the end. | |
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| Nice Guys? Where?
Posted: 10/18/2006 10:12:31 AM | u know what nice guys are on here and i have too say im one of them i take care of 3 kids by myself and i dont look like a nice guy i got tattoos like u wouldnt belive but im a good guy where here but were sick of get treating like a door step im getting a DIVORCE right now beacuse she cheated and left our happy home and it seems like thats all there is out there so women before u say there no good guys out there think an minute and ask ur self if u ever had a good man and u treated them like dirt and after awhile whats the point in being the good guy when its u women making us that way im not saying that good women aint out there all im saying i havent found on yet there always head games and shit but thats how i look at it im not prefect but im a good guy i dont cheat i dont hit women and i treat them like a women suppose to be treated with respect i just want the same respect
thanks rob | |
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