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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/20/2006 9:21:00 PM | Well ... just like I don't shy away from sending a first email ... I won't shy away from asking a man to dance. However, I do plan to give them a chance to make the first move. I've been dancing for years and have learned that if the guys don't ask me ... after a while I just start asking them.
Hey ... it's survival of the fittest, and I do know how to dance. Used to teach cued ballroom and have been doing Western Style Square Dancing for over 35 yrs. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/21/2006 1:28:19 AM | | Let me just say that there's a strategy to getting responses. Mines pretty simple; when I find someone Im interested in, I just say I liked their pics & profile & would luv to hear from them, I'm not afraid to go out of my area, & I use advance search constantly because theres always new people coming on and you wanna be the first message they get. Use a little spicy humor in you're profile; let em know you've got what it takes to make em laugh. Most of the time they respond back to me just to say they thought the ad was funny. Thats when you know you got em. Hook line & sinker. Thats why its called fishing. Who needs cleavage when you know how to make someone smile? Works every time! | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/22/2006 5:56:20 AM |
Well ... just like I don't shy away from sending a first email ... I won't shy away from asking a man to dance. However, I do plan to give them a chance to make the first move. I've been dancing for years and have learned that if the guys don't ask me ... after a while I just start asking them.
Do you ask them who they voted for first? Just curious. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/22/2006 10:09:25 AM | | Yuletide....not the case with me...I have only been fishing for a couple months and I have sent many emails...I have also received many....very few of the emails have been requests to "hook-up"...those were immediately deleted.... | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/22/2006 6:05:54 PM | I was one of the ones who used to send out the first contact email all the time and it really stunk how very little responses I used to get. It was really kind of a bummer. But, then I came across this guy's picture and he was a hottie!!! I mean we are talking hunk and a half ok? After reading his profile I was like omg he sounds so intelligent and so funny. What can I say that would even possibly get this guy's attention? After sitting there for a while I was still clueless. So I came up with just sending him "the wink". Oddly enough, It caught his attention and he came back with a caustic reply and the rest is history from there. I am so very happy. He's funny, kind, caring, and he always makes me laugh even if I have had the worst day imagineable. So keep on truckin people cuz if it happened for me it will happen for you too! | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/23/2006 8:21:34 AM | Well here goes I sit here when I have the time and read what you all are saying and I its pretty clear we are all in the same boat. Jax you have a good point about the profies that are less than forthcoming, however it has to come out sometime unless you just want someone to meet one time and never hear from again. I think what this says is most people are looking for perfection and it does not exist. I love the guys that really spell out what they want LOL now those are FUN to read Thanks for listening you guys are great  | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/23/2006 8:39:14 AM | Some of us are from the old school and have actually done some reading on this subject. It seems (good, bad or otherwise) that a lot of if not most men prefer to do the pursuing. The only e-mails I've received are those which are in response to the one sent to me first by the gentleman.
Most women do not find it an ego boost to send out an e-mail and receive neither a affirmative or negative reply. I've read some responses regarding that very topic on this website. Basically, no one owes anyone anything and any kind of behavior (if it feels good) goes. What a sad commentary on the state of our society these days. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/23/2006 4:29:25 PM | @Greystone ...
Do you ask them who they voted for first? Just curious. I think I know where you're going with this ... it's apparent you have taken a glimpse at my profile. That's good … the more exposure the better.
To answer this question here in the thread really is "off topic" but your restrictions on your profile prevent me from sending you an email with my answer. The answer to your question directly is, "No … I do not ask my dance partners who they voted for first before dancing with them."
I have never asked anyone in my entire life how they voted … that's a personal question that I consider inappropriate. It's no one's business … that's the reason we go to a booth and cast a ballot all by ourselves … with no one looking on.
I state my "political" preference on my profile … where I might add my "religious" preference is also available for viewing. I have discovered that to pursue any relationship with a man where those two factors aren't in sync … is absolutely fruitless. I've been there, done it, and do not wish to repeat the experience. It's a waste of precious time.
If you want further details on how it is that I came to that conclusion … email me. And unless you have "messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex" … you should be able to contact me. I do not limit my profile to a lot of restrictions because I openly encourage any and all POF users to contact me at any time.
OT: I've also been told that it's just not proper for the ladies to send out the first email … these guys need to get out of the "Stone Age"! | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/23/2006 5:14:33 PM | | I've sent several "first" emails to different men....all who, according to their profile, fit what I'm looking for and I fit what they say they are looking for. I haven't received one response from the ones I initiate. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/23/2006 10:16:22 PM | I think I know where you're going with this ... it's apparent you have taken a glimpse at my profile. That's good … the more exposure the better.
To answer this question here in the thread really is "off topic" but your restrictions on your profile prevent me from sending you an email with my answer. The answer to your question directly is, "No … I do not ask my dance partners who they voted for first before dancing with them."
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Where I am going with this, which really isn't off topic is:
There is nothing wrong with being selective, but the more selective we are, the lower email response rate we might expect. Your first three paragraphs are going to chase away all of the Republicans and most of the Democrats, the exception being the hardcore liberal crusaders. I thought your response rate was very good... considering. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/28/2006 12:42:08 PM | | my name is kris (female) and honstely i have sent alot of first emails. I dont mid sending the first if i find someone profile interesting. actually we are in the 2000's and i have heard that women are even asking the men to marry. so not all women are complaing about emails. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 9/28/2006 9:07:14 PM | | I've met a few people on POF. I look at it this way, that's a few people I didn't know a month ago, whether I had to initiate the e-mail or the woman did, Dig? It seems to be give and take. I think it's kinda fun to explore profiles and send emails. Why wait? | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/1/2006 11:42:31 AM | I send emails first.. get them as well. I always try to reply to people...
It all depends on how much time I have on my hands at the time as well.
I dont delete with out reading though.. To me that is just plain rude. Laughs..
So ... ya.. A lot of people dont answer.. but oh well.. Such is life.. I figure it like this.. You go to a bar.. try to talk to someone.. Theres no interest? hmm it happens?
Shannon | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/3/2006 12:27:03 AM | Well, yuletide, I do not know about other women, but I have been the one to email many times, especially when POF said the men{the designated new matches} were there because they were willing to talk to women my age. One flat out said I had no chemistry with him-and that without meeting me, and one disappeared after awhile, even after saying he'd like to meet me....The one closest to working out was from a man who emailed me first, although I do admit to noticing him in my POF matches...He was here just for meeting friends and that's how it has worked out so far....Several other men have contacted me first and we met, and they were non matches. I have several men still in my favorites I have contacted, but still no reply. Even another one who emailed me first just never answered either...Someone on another site said the key was to use emoticons/smilies when we are not sure how a respondent will take our comments, and I'm seriously beginning to think they're right. I am somewhat of a non traditional person, also a bit of a romantic, too.Therefore, I tend to look for non traditional romantic men as well. I do have one as a friend now, but still am looking for *the* special guy, my future mate...Guess it is time to start emailing again, time to look for some new faces, perhaps?
My birthday is coming up soon, and a good man/ mate would be the perfect gift of a lifetime!
Well I can dream, yes????:) | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/3/2006 12:46:17 AM | | Well Matt maybe the smoking issue is scaring them away? No idea otherwise, you seem normal enough other than that. {I do not date smokers myself, my ex was one and I have allergy issues with smoke whether it is from muck fires or people smoking..} | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/10/2006 7:42:23 PM | | Because woman have the control... and men are mush....just watch the guys in a social setting when a lady walks in... practically every male will stop what their doing and turn and look.. pathic.. ok Im old and have strange view... but guys are animals and ... well thats enough of that... | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/11/2006 5:15:22 AM | | I've been dating someone for the past few weeks... and yes, she sent the first email. Does it matter who emails first? I don't think so. | |
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mom2be
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Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 72 | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/13/2006 12:52:04 PM | Lots of women send 1st e-mails!! I met my main squeeze through POF by sending the 1st e-mail. I'm 1 year older than what he thought his age limits were but I didn't let that stop me. I complimented him on his pic & profile, he wrote back right away, we met & we're still going strong.
Have faith that POF works, I know lots of couples who met from here and other dating websites. Don't give up!! | |
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