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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:57:19 AM | YOU MISS ALL THE SHOTS YOU DO NOT TAKE!!! if you take the shot -you may miss but -who knows maybe you may get lucky and hit something every once in a while... | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/14/2006 1:00:06 PM | you women are funny---you complain you send one or two emails and dont get a response---
while us men send about 30 emails for every one response we get back
and like it or not women that is what we are doing----dating is playing the odds---on average i have to ask out 10 women before i get a date and thats after like 50 emails or 10 phone calls
imagine if men had the same self esteem issues in regards to response that men have---the human race would have died out allready | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/14/2006 3:38:28 PM | I have, it just seems I get more luck from the guys that respond to me......
Seems to me guys don't know what to do w/ a woman who's forward unless they like that in a woman.... | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:30:17 PM |
Yes, I know men don't email back. All I will say is I have sent out a hundred emails and gotten back about handful of replies from women. My question was why don't women send out email to men that they interested in instead of waiting to get email from men who they aren't interested in? Are women still expecting the man to make the first move?
and that's why they're still looking for that "man in shining armor". Some of the ones that crack me up are the ones with this "checklist" of material for guys who they're looking for and ironically, through their little "creative checklist" they may have just crossed off their "Mr. Right."
The problem with internet dating is that
1) you really can't showcase a sense of humor because well, it's text. It can be mis-interpreted easily. In person you have body language, facial expressions and so much more at your disposal.
2) sadly enough, putting yourself on the internet makes you subject to the "looks judgement". Which kills a big portion of your chances anyways. Unless you're fortunate enough to find a man or woman who connects on your personality (which in most cases isn't going to be until he or she actually MEETS you.)
3) both sides play "games" for different reasons. Ultimately, it gets them nowhere. Whereas they think it's accomplishing something. Which is why they're still single.
Difference being, I'm single by choice, not because I can't get someone. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 4/24/2007 8:40:20 PM | Bagh. No humour you say? I beg, no, I politely request (there's been too much begging in this thread already lol) to differ.
As soon as you stop treating things as the obvious, it's very easy to have fun. Sure, these profiles are personal ads, but we knew that already. To hell with the conventions. Do you like stories? I like stories. Stories are awesome. I like awesome stories...
lol
I _do_ get mail replies. Admittedly I think my ratio's down from 1:5 to 1:7 for mails to replies. I have even gotten a couple mails that were first contacts (though not from pursuable women) who just wanted to say "Cool profile", to which I've had the manners to reply and say thanks.
But really women, could you do yourself and get out of the 50's? The vulgar mails would be more negligable if you realized that _you_ had the power to send mails and not even have to wade through ugly mails because _you're_ sending mail to profiles you like. And if you don't mails in return? Tough. Guys have to go through the same stuff. I think it would create a more balanced perspective for online dating. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 4/24/2007 10:42:25 PM | | If I might add my 2 cents worth or give a penny for my thoughts ( hmmmm whatever happenes to that other penny? )...I tend not to post in forums often because someone always has issues but what the hell, here is my input..I have only been on POF for 5 weeks but have already discovered a few things. .Seems when I send out emails even though just a few, I get zero replies in return even if a "no thanks sparky"..My inbox has been overflowing with a plethora ( great word gooddaughter45 ), of one, count em, one email and that was from a lady 14 years outside of my specified age range..I would imagine from what everyone is saying to this issue, it must have to do with what is typed in a profile or if guys have on no shirts..haha..In my view I type exactly what and who I am even if it doesn't seem to sound like Mr Wonderful so why should I try and "sugarcoat" what I type in my profile? Sorry but I digress--if women do in deed send out first emails, that is news to me..Is bad enough when they cannot send even a no thank you when they gripe the exact same thing if they send out emails..Is true we are all individualists but from what I have been reading, there sure is a biggggggggg skew in why person A gets 50 emails and person B gets zippedy-doo-dah..But on the other hand, maybe I am butt ugly, my moustache has lice, my humor is not liked, or maybe I just didn't take a shower in my pictures..hahaha. Good fishing to all and I am off to locate different BAIT!! hahaha | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 4/25/2007 2:42:31 PM | | Because we are taught to wait for the man to ask us out. I find that the best relationships come when the man seeks me out, asks me out and shows that he is "that into me" romantically. I think the whole process just becomes too confusing if I am doing the pursuing. But that is just me. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:30:42 PM | I don't buy that triathletegirl. I have asked a woman out for a date (yes, the woman is on POF) & she turned me down because she said she was already dating somebody else. I found out later from her friend that she is avoiding me because of me asking her out on a date.
To me, this is more confusing than your situation of having a woman make the first move. I would have no problem of a woman asking me out first because 1) the idea of men making the first move don't work, & 2) I would have more patience & credibility with the person because I would know where I stand with her.
I | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 4/25/2007 7:21:32 PM | | I just wanted to stick up for women and say that not all of us don't send the first email I usually browse to see who's hanging out and when something about someones email catches my eye I am the first one to send off an email telling them about it especially if its funny, laughter will get my attention faster than any walk on the beach. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 4/29/2007 9:41:52 PM | | I'm going to add a little tidbit that relates to this subject. I've been through about three or four different profiles of my own now, over the past four months. The first one had multiple pictures, and some written content, though nothing meaningful. Zilch. No one wrote first, and not one single letter I sent out was answered. I then deleted it, and went back in time to when I had to write essays back in high school, and actually put some meaningful thought into it, and made my pictures private. Can you believe I actually got responses to several emails, and the occasional first email? Now, granted, I'm still not getting any more than two or three first emails a month, and only one fourth of the letters I send out get answered, but that's better than being completely ignored. Well, I tweaked it again, and came up with my current profile, but it's only been three days. I've so far received one first contact, and four out of the seven ladies I've written to have actually responded, even though no dates. I think my time is coming though. The love of my life is out there, somewhere...we'll find each other. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 5/9/2007 3:37:47 AM | Uh, well, let's see...I did send out a bunch of first contact emails...Long story short, not
dating any of them, and have not had much mail since I simplified my profile...Some never wrote back, some keep turning up on my who viewed me stats-still no mail, and some just did not work out....I guess people are either too shy, hate the new profile or none of the above..Oh well, such is life, time for plan b..... | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 5/9/2007 5:38:41 AM | Other than volume of first contacts by the opposite sex, it doesn't seem that much different for either a man or a woman. People are emboldened by the anonymity of the internet & will seek out that which they would never approach in real life. This is probably responsible for much of the non-response behavior.
When I had a 'dating' profile up, the 3-5 contacts a week I recieved were almost entirely from women 10-15 years older than I who had lifestyles directly in conflict w/ my own (as stated in profile). I responded to each & every one, out of simple courtesy. But what would posses one to do that other than 'wishful thinking'? If I were to start contacting 25 yr. old women, I would hardly expect a high response rate, much less success.
In this very thread there are ladies who complain of non-response, while flirting w/ a guy 10+ years their junior. That's fantastic  ....& the confidence level is commendable, but to expect a high response rate (of replys that are not overrtly sexual) is not very realistic, IMHO. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:27:29 AM | | sometimes women requirements are too much therefore you scared some us away. i like a woman that keeps it simple and direct. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 5/16/2007 4:33:06 PM | | What patchwerk said .....if you like something that you see drop the line !! Sometimes you get a bite and sometimes you don't. The profiles run both ways, maybe they're just not interested. Kinda why it's referred to as fishing. from readin these forums it seems that some of the folks on here are taking things a bit too serious and it's making them nuts. You'll meet a lot of people as you journey through this mess,some that will stay ,evem as only a memory and some who will be jettisoned and forgot. Once in awhile there's one or two that really stick. But you have to wade through a lot of gunk to find them. But that's just my opinion. Like a certain body part everyone has one. | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 6/3/2007 12:36:27 PM | | I send first emails to those with profiles,I find interesting, or feel we have a common thread,but if I dont hear back,dont get bent outta shape! Just browsing and felt like droppin a line or two, its up to the individual , whether they wanna respond or not,I just move on,Next.... | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 8/21/2007 1:08:50 PM | Well I am not "most women" I do send out alot of emails, even if it is just a comment on the profile, and it is amazing how many replys I get, some very nice, some not so nice. Big deal, Its the internet, people are bound to be rude, especially more so since it is not face to face. But I have gotten to talk to alot of very nice men out there. I have only met 2 off of here, face to face, one was a nice date, the other was an octopus.
I was added as a 'Favorite' by a guy I have never talked too, so I asked him, 'why did you add me?' he said ' I added you because I am interested, and I figure if you are, you would contact me'. Made alot of sense.
I get alot of 'hook up' emails too, but it is due to my screen name and one of my pics. I just politely tell them that is not why I am here, and so be it, most understand...
Best of luck and be safe... | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 8/21/2007 1:41:03 PM | | I GOT MAIL!!!!!!!! Wahhhhoooooooo! I got mail! Whew, calming down now, whew. Ok, So heres the deal. Ya send out twenty e-mails, yes girls w/ pics included, and ya get one back. Wahhhhoooooo, I got mail! | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 8/22/2007 2:28:48 AM | I never send out mail first....but always answer then...if they are reasonable. I get an e-mail from an 18 yo in Russia..gets ignored!! But if they are real...they get answered. But if ladies didn't initiate things once in a while...how lonely would I be!! | |
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| Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 8/22/2007 11:26:33 AM | | i put in my profile that i would prefer to be contacted first because my profile offends so many people. i've gotten 2 emails that may go somewhere, 6 or 8 from women wishing me luck but not intrested and more than i can count of women asking "who the f-ck do you think you are"? i was hoping for more but the newest "in" thing is cougars. problem with that is the cougar loses the luster in her coat loooong before their prey and end up alone in the end. even if i don't find what i'm looking for, this venue makes being alone almost tolerable. it's fun to see how people interact in the forums and i've learned tons of stuff just reading women's profiles. so ladies....please email me. i'll respond politely even if you aren't. shipoker, don't know what to tell you...i'm not blocking any emails that i know of. | |
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