| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:56:38 AM | My kids = My responsibility to pay their sitter.
Thank the faeries they're old enough not to need one any more, though! | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 7:35:22 AM | Maybe. Not as an expectation though. If we're an item then we'll split the babysitting bill. First date ? Absofuqkinglutely not. Hey , just because I ask you on a date doesn't mean I assume your responsibilities. I just want to take you out and hopefully we'll both have a good time. Maybe I should fix your car , do your laundry , finish your yardwork and cover any shortfalls in the rent so that you can have a delightful night on the town free of all financial worry , courtesy of my bank account. I mean really , where does it stop ?
Get your own babysitter on the first date. Sheesh. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 7:45:02 AM | The roles of dating seem to have changed as I posted earlier dating roles for who pays is not clear anymore.
Why should a man pay for your baby sitter early in thge dating process? I used to know a woman who said she had a child when she did not just to get the guy to pay for the date and collect the $10-$20 from the guy for the sitter as she said it was her sister so she did not charge much for babysitting...nice scam.
Once you know each other and determine it is going somewhere fine but why pay for a sitter when you may only have one date.
I call that gold digging and is why I aviod dating single mothers.
You do not have this hassle or dama with women who do not have kids. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 8:23:39 AM | Is this a new requirement? "You asked ME out, so maybe you can pay my sitter?"
Obviously I have a different outlook seeing as I do not have kids, however even if I did, I could not bring myself to ask my date to pay the sitter. Especially a first, or second, or third date.
It brings up the long issue of going dutch on a date as well. Chances are a woman who's asked for sitter money isn't going to offer to foot 1/2 the dinner bill, or pay for treats at the movie...but how often have we said it would be nice if she offered or even did?
Now, it doesn't seem fair to go as far as to saying single moms are gold diggers...plenty are very independent. So if your date is asking you to pay or even expecting you to, it might be a headsup. If you refuse, is she going to say "okay, we can have date night at my place...with john junior running around"? I should hope not. In that case, let her save up to pay for the sitter if you don't want to. And a date shouldn't have to. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 9:05:35 AM | I don't think a woman should expect a man to pay for her baby sitter. Its just as rediculous as a man expecting sex because he bought a woman dinner. If a woman can't afford to pay for one she can tell him that when he asks her out. If he offers to pay its ok but he has no obligation to even offer. Her children are her responsibility period, not his!!!! What happens next if she expects this of him? Ask him to pay for her phone so he can call her?  | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 9:14:27 AM | | ^^^^^^^^^^^ I like the 'expecting sex' . A simple question to answer the simple question. Says it all. You can answer the whole thread like that. Like someone else said, should he buy her a car so she can get to the date location? Should he buy her clothes so she looks decent enough for him to take out? I'd be worried what would be expected of him should things get serious. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 11:40:14 AM | Thank gawd most of the responses are for the woman to pay for her own sitter....
next thing you know.....they'll be starting to have the state request child support from me for the same kid if we don't work out........
huh??......what?? some states are??? Canada too??
Wow....I had no idea I was going to have so much take up so much responsibility for all the people who didn't......... | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 11:45:54 AM | Times sure change! LOL I can remember as a teen, babysitting for my mother's single friends...and their dates always paid me! Not sure WHY...but this thread made me recall that!
However, I agree...if it is a nicety being offered, super! (If needed, not just to take it for granted!) If not, oh well...and most definitely not expected! | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 4:53:04 PM | I haven't dated a single mother with a small child in a long time, but I would always ask about what her arrangements were and ask if she wanted to split the cost. Since it is genrally assumed I will be paying for dinner, drinks, tickets, whatever, I wont pay the full cost of a sitter. But I will split it if I am interested in the woman.
And if a lady is having some tight cash flow, she should bring up the subject. Adults would appreciate the honestly and perhaps they can work something out if paying for a sitter is a budget killer for her. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 5:38:09 PM |
And if a lady is having some tight cash flow, she should bring up the subject. Adults would appreciate the honestly and perhaps they can work something out if paying for a sitter is a budget killer for her.
So when I was paying for my sitter and paying for the date...are there some who would suggest I help pay for her sitter costs as well?
I have met some pretty incredible mothers however who despite having money issues are also very proud and do not want to be seen as being bought! | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 5:51:10 PM | Dear tacky It's exactly women like you that has ruined it for LADY'S that expect to be treated like LADY'S , to GET treated like lady's because you beotchs have let these jerk ass men off of the GENTLEMEN hook. NOT yes but HELL yes, a man should pay the sitter, if he is that cheap, he should be kicked to the curb anyway. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:18:42 PM | lady~linda~dogs~diva. what planet are you from? If her date doesn't pay for her sitter he is cheap and not a gentleman? Thanks for the laugh
I know you can't be serious unless you are mentally ill | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:36:22 PM | | i think thats kindof tacky, asking a guy to pay for a sitter, ive never done that when i had a date, i make arrangements for a sitter if i really want to go out. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 9:23:30 PM | lady~linda~gods~diva,
This is actually a great example of why I reserve chivalry for certain women only. I'm a gentleman for a lady. It's a shame some women just assume that since they are female it automatically makes them a lady. You ma'am, are no lady. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 9:29:57 PM | Lady Linda WhateverTheRestOfItIs...
I am actually quite embarrassed to be lumped into the "lady" category if you define such!
Again...it is wonderful if a man offers to pay the sitter! But it is not expected. And there are plenty of men who pay their own sitters, so why should they be expected to pay for the ladies?? Should he give her gas to get there, as well? It has nothing to do with being a gentleman...what this really tells me is that some women just expect such because they have no inkling of finding a soul mate...they just want a sugar daddy, a meal ticket, or a future husband and no independence of their own! | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 10:20:32 PM | | well honestly that is a tough one... 1 the first time is not a date... it is a meeting, to see if there is an attraction or chemistry. so no the man isn't obligated if there is chemistry and a mutual agreement to see each other again... then it is a date. at that point the woman can say i'd like to see you but i don't have the cash for a babysitter tonight... if the guy says ok I got it.. then ok if not then you don't go out if you were going out with the girls you'd have to pay for one. once you are dating then it should be shared. I have met many women who have had no intention on ever going out again even before we met they just wanted that free meal.. so they could have 7 dates a week and never have to pay for dinner again. so once i figured that out i made the first MEETING coffee. after all I am not working to supply every female with dinner. the idea of the site is to find a partner not to take advantage of people. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/6/2007 10:35:25 PM | This whole internet dating thing has ruined the dating world all together. It has become a date per night kinda society where the men are supposed to pay. All us men would be broke and the women would be hording it all away. There was a time I thought this was a good idea get yourself out there and have a better chance at meeting someone. But the women found a way to get dinner paid for every night and have no intentions on going on a second date.
once i figured it out this women emails me and says lets do dinner and drinks and maybe dancing on friday... I said how bout coffee and if we go out again we can do that... she says I don't like cheap men... this is where womens heads are at today...
but what do we do?... we keep coming back cuz you figure ya never know this may be the day I meet someone real and can finally stop this idiocy. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/7/2007 6:20:36 AM |
Dear tacky It's exactly women like you that has ruined it for LADY'S that expect to be treated like LADY'S , to GET treated like lady's because you beotchs have let these jerk ass men off of the GENTLEMEN hook. NOT yes but HELL yes, a man should pay the sitter, if he is that cheap, he should be kicked to the curb anyway.
Perhaps you might want to review your interpretation of a lady? Perhaps your view is whats fosters in many men the realization that a high quality escort would be cheaper and far more pleasurable?
Your outdated mentality of men paying everything if he is a gentleman is as outdated as men suggesting that woman should stay at home barefoot and pg. But there are still many who see themselves as not equal to men and men who view woman as being inferior. One day perhaps you may perhaps see yourself as being on the same level as most members of society and will not feel the need to be a "kept lady".
And if I am not mistaken a true lady would never use profanity especially in public! | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/7/2007 6:28:35 AM | | if you want to go out then that is you problem not his. i do not think that is right for you to ask or even concern. remember it is your date not you children | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/7/2007 7:14:23 AM | If he offered ...why not?
That will be sweet.
I won't ask him though...a kind more in tuned man knows what to do. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/7/2007 7:52:36 AM | Octbreeze...your posts....that's a whole 'nother thread, sugar! LOL
Not ALL women are supplying their nutritional needs via dates, 7 days a week! LMAO What a concept, though! And you have the whole internet dating concept wrong!
Internet Dating:
The profiles are the "initial meets"....the contact is where you find out if it is a mutual interest. Then you communicate via the wonderful options of email, IM, text, phone...and see if there is additional connections to make one of the persons initiate a date. So...the 1st meeting is actually a date! Alternate to this, is the local POF events, where you can sort of "speed date" through a mix of persons that may have interested you and see if you want to expand it to more.
See...it is not really about the date...it is more about the rules of "who pays?" Personally, I think it is a nice gesture when a gent offers to pay...but not expected. And I am sure a gent appreciates a woman offering to pay as well! | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/7/2007 7:27:34 PM | | Okay let's say the man is expected to pay for the baby sitter for the first date. What happens if the woman does not want to see the man again after he pays for dinner and a movie and/or theatre tickets and wants a second date? It just does not look good and may leave the man feeling a bit used if the woman does not want to see him again. So maybe it may be easier from a social perspective and less pressure is put on both individuals if the lady pays for the sitter for her children early in the dating stage. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 12/8/2007 9:53:29 PM | Wow,
First off I have no kids. I read the idea and I felt kind of shocked, it hit a nerve. If a gentleman wants to offer that's fine but I don't think he should HAVE to AT ALL.
How is another mans' spawn the new dates responsibility? If anything call the biological father and ask him for sitter money. | |
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