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| | Men paying for the sitter ?Page 2 of 21 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21) | | Eastsideeddie...this i don't agree with, if you are just dating a guy, i think it would be completely irresponsible to introduce your kids to an unknown...there are tonnes of weirdos out there, and our kids trust us to protect them from harm...dude, that freaks me out...as for the OP--it isn't a good idea, cause then there are expectations put upon the woman and the date for the most part... | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:15:25 AM | "Just dating" is the qualifier. I am thinking more as the realtionship grows.
And how sad that your first thought is to the tons of weirdos rather than the larger "tons" on nice men.....
Sad world anymore.... | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:20:24 AM | I'd offer to pay. Some women may accept the offer, some may not.
But I'd be pis$ed off it it was expected of me to automatically pay.
Call me old fashioned, but if a man asks a lady out and she has children, don't you think the guy should pay for the sitter? ya know...... if you wanted to be really old fashioned, a woman with children wouldn't be going out on dates | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:31:16 AM | It's fairly clear cut from my perspective. Your mileage may vary:
If she doesn't have a job or has limited means of support: I would pay for the sitter.
If she has a decent job then I'd expect her to make her own arrangements.
If I'm the one who asked her out then I'm paying for dinner (at least the first few times), so the least she can do is take care of the baby-sitting.
I should think that it's entirely about being sensitive to her situation, but not being a doormat. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:46:41 AM | | glad to see that there are some truly sensitive men out there that ACTUALLY READ AND UNDERSTOOD the OP's point of view.......I don't think she meant that the man would be EXPECTED to pay.....just that it might be nice every now and then. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:47:04 AM | | I have been lucky and have never needed a sitter as I have a very kind roommate who will babysit for me and my daughter visits her father every other weekend, so I get a fair amount of free time. I have had guys offer to pay for sitter though and while it is a kind gesture it creeps me out cause it makes the guy look over eager in my eyes. If I couldn't get a sitter I would never make the man taking me out pay for one, I would just wait until a better time. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:50:51 AM | | Not sure it should be the man's responsibility unless of course they're HIS kids. It's like being invited to a wedding and expecting the bride's family to pay for a sitter. Yea, it would be nice, but it ain't gonna happen. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:59:11 AM | | OMG...pay for the sitter?? your're kidding right? that's not a serious post is it?? old fashioned for a stranger to pay for dinner, drinks AND for someone elses kids to be cared for?? ....since when did the term old fashioned man...and moron become interchangeable? | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 9:09:05 AM | paying for a sitter ?????? unless somthing unexpected just came up that left her in a bind of sorts , absolutely not .
if i ask someone out , i pay for the whole date , i pick them up , use my car/ truck , use fuel i payed for ect .......
being asked to pay for a sitter would be the same thing like me asking the woman to pay for the tank of fuel i just bought , without the fuel i wouldn't be able to pick her up .
besides unless i know her well , all it's going to be is a coffee date anyway . i invest as little financially as possible untill i know what kind of person she is . ( there are alot of women out there who just use guys for expensive nights out , then toss them aside for the next guy / expensive night out ) .
now if it's someone i've been seeing for a awhile ( ie girlfriend ) that changes things abit , but it still doesn't mean i'm paying for a sitter , but rather would look to the many alternatives that are available .
another way to look at it , if the 2 people are going dutch ( which i don't believe in ) then the expense of the baby sitting would be left on the table . but that would have to be discussed before hand . | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 10:19:48 AM | Men paying for the sitter ?
Maybe the men need to know how much it cost and also the preparations it takes for a women to get a sitter. The normal sitter age is 15, as most over that age are dating themselves. They have curfews on weekdays for 11pm. Weekends 2am. If you have them cook a meal, expect the mess, or pots and pans ruined, dishes to come home to, and the house to clean. I learned to either have a meal already prepared, so that takes time. I may have a meal out, but I am not getting a break cooking, and clean up when I get home. Unless I fork out for a pizza for them both then add on top off the fee's $20. We have just started, and I have not yet stepped out the door. To get a good sitter who will help with my sons homework, organizing his things for the next day, assure he is being played with, and put to bed on time which is the only way I now go only this way in finding a sitter -- the cost for this type of sitter is $10 per hour. Yep more the min wage! Average evening out for me is = $30-$50 for sitter. Parking on top, and gas. My evening is on average $75.00 just for that. Flat rate for Weekend nights 6-1am $60, weekend getaway $180 - and up.'s. New Years Eve $200.00. Winter break, and Christmas it's cheaper for me to take a holiday with them LOL. If I have to pay or contribute to the date then add this, on top of the sitter's fee's. Maybe I have to go to get my hair done, nails, there is another fee. However, I am a single mother who has to support myself, and no family around to help, or neighbours who can help. It is not there fault, or responsibility. I am where I am. I am upfront with the guy, and let him know if my budget allows to accept the date, and if not to say rain check when I can afford it. Most have treated me to the meal. I view this as meeting half way then. I would never ask for the money in order to have them take me out, or go out. That is up to them to offer it. it was offered it to me, providing it is not viewed 'as escort', but with understanding of my circumstances, I would accept. I have never been offered sitters fee's. I think that the men expect us to take care of this, as well as providing for are own kids even if were in a relationship.. least this is my experience so far talking to men. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 10:24:55 AM | Honey if you are paying 50 bucks for a sitter, I'LL do it!!
Better option, stay home with your kids. You ares upposed to help your son with his homework, not a babysitter.
BEST option, don't have kids until your bar years are behind you.
Wow, would WE not get along..... | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 10:33:44 AM | | OK wait, I should elaborate. If a guy asks out a woman on a date, and she is unable to go because of not being able to afford a sitter and the guy reallyyyyyy wants to take this woman out to dinner or whatever then yes, I think it is very sweet to offer, but it's not expected in my view. A different time perhaps when the woman can afford a sitter might be better. If the two are mutually deciding on some kind of outing then I think the woman should pay for her own kids sitter, although again it is sweet and very kind when a man offers to pay for the sitter, but again not expected in my opinion. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 10:50:47 AM | | I don't think the man should pay for the sitter, hes paying for the date so it should be up the woman to handle that. How much is man expected to spend to have a date with someone, on average just dinner and movie your looking about 40-50 dollars at least...however, i have dated men who flat out insisted on it and that made a impression on me and said alot. | |
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ali42
| | Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 40 | |
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ali42
| | Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 41 | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 11:12:27 AM | Isn't the first thought that the man thinks this buys him a little sumpin'-sumpin' later on? Pays to get the kids out of the way.... etc....
If I was female that would be on my mind. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 11:26:55 AM |
Call me old fashioned, but if a man asks a lady out and she has children, don't you think the guy should pay for the sitter?
"Old Fashioned" isn't the word I'd use.... more like cheap and tacky. Holy hell! They're your kids, you decide to accept the date, for the love of all that's good, be responsible and pay for your own sitter!! Shit, what is this world coming to? No wonder men feel used. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 11:35:39 AM | msg 1...
I feel that its asking too much to expect a man to
pay or even offer... after all its the womens choice to go out...
I would think that a woman with kids would consider babysitting
expenses prior to going out on dates.
If I were in a mans shoes and ran into a woman who asked this...
it would be the last time I contacted her.
Its a matter of having some personal responsibity.
but I am someone where irresponsibity is a deal breaker and it may not
be an issue for some...
according to some of the things I read in the threads. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 11:41:09 AM |
Call me old fashioned, but if a man asks a lady out and she has children, don't you think the guy should pay for the sitter?
Or at least offer?
Should? No. Especially not a first date, and were a woman to presume such was appropriate, and said as much, I am guessing not only would the first date not happen, if it did, I am guessing a second wouldn't.
"Old fashion" values are a wonderful thing, and one I adhere to, to some degree myself, but sorry, I don't recall reading that one in the handbook. Shall we take it to the extreme? If we are considering having sex, should I do the "old fashion" thing and offer to pay for her birth control pills too?
Now having said that, I have in fact one time or another paid for the sitter. It was my choice, and my decision to do so, she didn't ask me too, nor was there any expectation on her part. It was simply a situation where I was seeing a woman for a long time, and I wanted to go out (an all day trip), and she didn't have the money for the sitter atm. Going out to me was more important than worrying about the cost of the sitter, at the time, so I paid for it. Nuff said.
Have fun ;)! | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 11:47:42 AM | OP.
I see you're in Human Resources. Part of that job is promoting equality in the workplace yada yada, right?
And you ask this question.
Wow.
Oh...my answer to your question. No | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 12:00:03 PM |
They're your kids, you decide to accept the date, for the love of all that's good, be responsible and pay for your own sitter!! Shit, what is this world coming to? No wonder men feel used.
I see my Meminist rants are finally wearing off on you aren't they honey?
Gentlemen, this exactly the point being made at Meminist rallies about the world as we speak. Women need to do their part in this crazy unbalanced teeter totter of genders.
I mean when is it that I should feel obligated to pay for a sitter for her kids?......you call that old fashioned? may indeed be, but I prefer to live in the ever changing world of reality. Now that is not to say that I wouldn't help her if need be, but to make such an assumption that I should pay is flat out rediculous.These children are not in any way my responsibilty, if she wants the company of a man enough she'll do her part, which is in turn indicitive of a responsible adults actions. | |
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| Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 9/15/2006 12:04:12 PM | | i agree with those of you who believe that this is a "tacky" request (at best) for a first date -- especially if it's expected....but later in a relationship, i don't think it would be completely tasteless for a man to share the cost - if it's offered and i personally wouldn't date a guy who wouldn't AT LEAST make the offer after some time and a progression of the relationship....whether or not i'd accept. | |
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