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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:09:13 AM |  Many moons ago when I firs got the surprise I was about to become a single parent I had the mistaken belief that single fatherhood was definitely the minority  wrong!!! Nope: I just didn't see them even when they were right next door..Nope not alone in this!! And I became a single dad in "91" now my youngest who I got in diapers under one year old is over "18 And My oldest who I got when he was 4, is 22!! A ridiculously long time, and prejudice? Yes most said things like " Why are the kids with you, where is Mom to them??" And trying to date I was told hey- I don't need a ready made family. No; it wasn't puppies in the park, well maybe it was and is probably. Ether way: When they were any trouble ; as kids can be sometimes, like a puff of smoke people were willing to leave me and the boys and just disappear.........
I hope this answers the single dad issue a little,
Cya | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:23:08 AM |  Man; court?!? Years and years, more than just one week three or more times and days She put "father unknown" on my youngest s birth certificate- and this wonderful state made me prove I was the father, even though 2 of the 3 she did name( some kind of requirement ) were - deceased- not with us, eh?I'll fight, I'll never give in or be caught off guard, I am the front line for the kids, It is my job- and has been for a while..
 It's been a decade and a half now, turned 50 on thanksgiving day the 22nd of November I regret nothing, wouldn't have it any other way- we've had so many adventures you would like em too.
Cya,
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:38:40 AM | Absolutely true lonestarblue29:
I could easily say- my own dear ole Dad was a son-of-a*@#&%= He has married I don't know how many times, disowned my half bro- sent papers to him and everything. I like my half brother , just found him up in Washington state, he's moving to Alaska, got a wife, 3 kids and a father who discards a kid from his old family and goes on with the new one!!So b tween him and Ma trying to forget me and my sisters even existed- I chose differently/ I've been my kids only constant, front line so to speak- been a single parent since 91, Got my youngest in diapers now he's over eighteen, my oldest at 4 now 22..It is the right thing, and by the by- what I personally could have liked a little in my younger days/ not the pain. My sons are happy for the most part, got friends and cars!! And still here too..
Cya | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/22/2008 9:03:11 AM | | it is nice that yous guys have stepped up to the plate and there are heaps of single dads out in the would iv talked to a few on here keep up the good work and love your kids they need you | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/22/2008 9:04:04 PM | | Hey nope not alone, I have 2 teenagers living with me... | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/23/2008 1:35:08 AM | I rescued my kid from an abusive stepdad. It took me years to get custody but he is much better now, after three years with me. Until the summer of 2004 my son lived with his mother. I had summers and a couple of holidays each year with him. In the 2003/2004 school year, my son was failing every subject in grade 5 and was scheduled to be retained. He had been suspended three times for fighting and had already been in trouble with the police at least three times. He was often beaten by his stepfather for various infractions. He was banished from restaurants when the stepdad decided he was too rambunctious, and made to eat in the car, even in sub-zero weather, while mom and stepdad ate in a nice warm restaurant.
His mom was told by the teacher that he was ADD and not capable of normal learning. She had him put on Ritalin, Concerta and other drugs. He was not allowed to participate in any after-school activities or have any pets. He had very few friends and by age ten he was talking with the school guidance counselor about his suicide plans. At that point his mom finally agreed to testing. It turned out that he has a near genius IQ and was simply bored.
The talk of suicide was the last straw. I finally got his mom to agree to alternate years of custody. It was the only way I could get her to agree to give me any kind of custody, and get him here quickly. After a successful school year, I secured sole custody in August of 2005. I couldn't sue before that because I had no track record with which to go to court. My son had asked me, several times, to please not send him back (except for visits), and of course I can now honor his request. He is now in an arts academy where he can express his talents and is doing quite well.
I would love to meet a single mom. However, nearly all of the women I contact tell me that they want nothing to do with a single dad. Even some of the women who have contacted me ask if there is some way I can send my child away, perhaps to his mother, even after they have heard the story in even more detail than I have written here. Besides, I love my son and there is no way I would send him away, even if I could. So, what's a guy to do? | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:02:09 AM | | Fulltime single Granddad here. I have my step daughter's 3 1/2 yo girl fulltime because mummy is on drugs and nanny can only handle the older 2. It keeps me busy as, but has really put some life into my life lol. I have been retired on a vet's pension since 2000 and this was a hell of a shock. Emmy has been here since school started this year. People tell me she should be a chick magnet, and that may be true, have chatted with a lot of mum's, both single and married since she came to stay with me. No dates - yet. lol | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:14:26 PM | Honestdad, I understand where you are coming from... thankfully my situation never got THAT bad with his mum! I can't believe a woman would ask you to send your child away! Can we say "Oh, HELL NO!"? That right there would permanently put her in the 'Under No Circumstances' heading, in my book. No questions, no explanations desired nor required.
That being said, I've dated a single mom or two, and if you can find the right one, IMHO there is often more adjustments to be made schedule-wise, etc... with two sets of kid(s) to handle. The benefits have always outweighed the disadvantages in my experience though. That's not to say the right woman (who has no children) is a bad choice... far from it, many circumstances can cause a woman to be childless, and not always by her choice.
Best of luck to you... be patient, as hard as that is, and enjoy your life as it is currently. When the time is right, you'll meet the right woman. :)
Leif | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/23/2008 5:23:18 PM | Full time single dad of 2 boys. I don't think they actually run from us but its definitely harder to date. Worth the sacrifice though.  | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:50:46 PM | | I,m another guy thats done the hard yards,and loved it.Had full time custody of my daughter since she was 2, she,s now 17 and am so proud of her.I certainly wouldnt have been able to work fulltime ,school,care,cook and all the other bits and pieces without the help from some great ladies | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:00:07 PM | | Hey brother, single dad here!!!!! I believe there are more of us now then ever, but i can be wrong, lol. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:04:11 PM | | Brother, i got custody of my daughter without a fight or anything. Uncontested divorce and the ex had not problem with the custody issue. We are living with my mother at the moment, which has been very excellent for the both of us. Single dads!!!!!!! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:39:29 PM | | Not a full-timer here but probably a 60%-er. When I don't have them, I'm usually cleaning up after them and preparing for the next day. I wouldn't trade being a Dad for anything else in the world. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:05:34 AM | Well it's not a path I would have chosen, but swap? Not on your life!
My 9 year old fills my days with such happiness, and washing! I sometimes wonder if dating is something that will ever happen!
Every time he speaks to 'mum', its him that makes the call...She hasn't made the effort at all, not seen him since christmas....
Having spent 12 years with THAT woman, I see it as a good thing for him, sadly he doesn't and I must support him in his quest to make his biological mother function in some way....Ever tried to nail jelly to moving car?
There are tears tantrums shouting and feet stamping, and sometimes he gets angry too!!!
Love him to bits and I have found happiness in my little world.
If any single Dad's want to drop a line and chew the fat, your most welcome..
LOOK AFTER THE LITTLE-UN'S THEY CHOSE OUR NURSING HOMES! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/24/2008 12:35:53 PM | | Hi mate, I am a single dad with 2 girls aged 4 and 5. I work full time and run my own business. its bloody hard work but wouldn't let my **** of an ex wife take my daughters away from me. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/24/2008 12:40:14 PM | | Hi mate, I have 2 daughters aged 4 and 5 and they have been with me for over 3 years. I get all the same things being said about "why are they with me?" I work full time and juggling work, kids and social life is a nightmare at the moment. Any tips on this seeing you have been there, done it etc...? Cheers | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:22:23 PM | msg 764.....
I completely agree, i have now taken it upon myself to close the door on my ex, after keepin him around for the past 11 yrs hoping i was doing the right thing!
he has constantly let our children down-not ringing, never visiting for months on end, excuses blah blah blah and its me that has to deal with all the backlash(not so much from the 6 yr old,but the 11 yr old)
two children with difficulties,struggling through and having the added anxiety of "why does daddy not want to see us?"
However its harder for me, because i have the guilt of having given them the useless piece of s**t in the first place!
all you single dads shud think highly of yourselves, and remember for every women that walks out on her kids, there are many many men who do the same, and maybe forgive some of us for being a bit on the "mental" side!!!
Im sure we'll all be rewarded by the big man when the time comes | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:45:44 PM | im a single dad of three girls and i am fed up with people saying the girls should be with their mother..........why????. i have been there for them and always will so why do people say such cruel things.
sorry if seem to be moaning but...... | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:16:42 AM | I'm a single dad of two boys, one of whom is now severely disabled as a result of being hit by a motor vehicle, while riding his push-bike. The boys 'mother' wanst nothing to do with either of the boys, since the accident. ( her loss) It's an appalling attitude to have, but I'm finding out that she's not the only woman to have that attitude!
I'm aware that a lot/most of them have done the work of raising their own kiddo's, and now want to enjoy what life has to offer, but it does make it difficult to find a companion. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/25/2008 6:38:24 PM | Single dads are awesome!!! Don't do babies though. They have to talk at least. My preference is boys cause I am on the boyish side but girls are nice too.
You know all I have to say is if your cat pisses on your GF's clothes or if your kids don't like them just walk away. They have good receptors. I always listen to mine.
Hugs, Nightwhisperer | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/25/2008 7:54:24 PM | | Seven year old son here. Blonde hair, blue eyes and everything else from his mother's face :) I love him anyway. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/25/2008 8:35:34 PM | | I just want to give all you single dads out there a big thumbs up. It's hard enough being a single mom but I know its harder for the dads because of the way society looks on men raising children. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:05:53 PM | Well thank you nightwhisperer and others.
We can be looked down on by certain members of the play-ground scene ( Lad's read the ones you fuxk on a footie tour!) but sod em,... Kids are a privalage not a right!
p.s. nightwhis.... how can i get ya t move t the uk when your arsenin filters wont let me send a message?
KEEP IT UP FELLA'S THEY CHOOSE OUR NURSING HOMES! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:24:34 AM | i think its great that you steeped up and looked after your kids my dad did it on his own and he done the best job he could with us i now heaps of fellows that bring up kids on there own just do your best and the rest will follow just love your kids ,shaz | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:10:59 AM | | 49 years old, and a full time dad to 2 girls age 4 and 5, and a boy 10 years, they keep me young, drive me crazy, worry me sick, make me laugh out loud and show me so much love that it makes me glow, and they sure know how to spend my money-lol, so in answer to the original post, no, your not on your own, but it does make it that bit more difficult to find a partner, as it seems to intimidate some women when they realise that you can be both mum and dad to your kids, I think some of em expect us to burn every meal and trip over the hoover cable, not so ladies, we can deal with stuff and then some! | |
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