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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:14:54 AM | Hers another dad with his kids....4 great kids....I work around 50 hours per week and take care of them. Their mom is supposed to have them half of the time, but since our separation 7 months ago, shes had one son for 3 nights. I feel this isnt good, but hope things will turn aound and the kids will want to spend more time with their mom....yea, same old saw, she met a guy, left us to move in with him, they split. Kids are upset with what she did, but hopefully time will heal the wound. I dont wish her ill-will, and support the kids visiting her. I cant go back with her, as given what happened, and a few other things best unmentioned, I dont want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.
As for my experience with gals and guys with kids.....hey, Im up front about it. The kids will always be part of my life. One good thing is my kids are older...2 in college, 1 in high school, one in middle school...so I can get away, albeit not that often. Ive chatted here with a few gals, and the ones who seem to understand the most are the moms...they just "get" it, since they live it. I have emailed a gal here as well with no kids, and the subject hasnt been huge, but shes highly intelligent, and we'llhave to see how that develops!
Anyhow, congratulations and good luck to all the single Dads AND Moms out there! Its a tough row to hoe, but in the long run, its worth it! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/27/2008 1:08:50 PM | Hi all!!! First thing, let me say that I'm in that special .0005% who has a great relationship with my ex!! We both made the commitment that our son would comes first, come hell or high water. We get along great and communicate and generally tried to make a potential rough time into a positive.As far as combining dating and single fatherhood, well, it's tough because time is the essential key. If there were 48 hours in a day, then it would be much easier! These days of careers, commuting, afterschool activities, etc., it's just so hard to find time (and energy!!!) to even think about dating!!! Like Kev8362, I also tend to prefer women who have children because they 'get it'. They understand the time constraints and commitment needed to raise kids. Great day to all!!!!!!! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:05:40 PM | | I prefer dating men who have full custody of their kids. Less drama! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/28/2008 12:47:55 AM | THANK GOD !
I am a single dad and have been for 8 years.
The MOST ANTI FATHER people seem to be single mums.
I can't really date a single girl as they just fail to get it at all until they have kids.
I have met one exception but she just got married :(
Thank GOD that a single mum can use seom logic and see that a guy who has some idea about child raring and family is actually an asset rather than another kid hassle.
Thanks
Garret | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:07:30 AM | Hiya, well I can also join the band of single dads. Like so many I actually love the repsonsibility that comes with it and try to do the best by te kids that I can. Also like so many my ex has little to do with the kids , if anything at all for long periods.
I started to try the dating thing, but the kids do take up so much tie and energy, not to say that I am any worse or better off than anyone else, however my middle son has ADHD and it has been difficult to say the least as people dont accept him for the loving child that he is, all the see is the child that finds it difficult to communicate and who can sometimes be, as you expect, a bit OTT. so dating may well have to wait.
My ex, I wish her no ill will at all, in fact I wish her the best, but I do wish she would either keep in regular contact or not at all, it just confuses the kids and they find it difficult sometimes. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/28/2008 8:16:24 AM | | Hi there, I was a single parent until recently and fully understand what you're saying. I think that single dads are more responsible than a lot of just single guys. That comment will probably annoy most people but I just think that single dads have a unique understanding that only single parents have. So well done all you single dads. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:35:17 PM | | I'm a full-time single dad of a 7yr. old son .I wouldn't give him up for anything. I can meet woman, but as soon as they find out I'm a single dad ,they bolt. Their loss,Because I'm a nice guy and a great dad. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/28/2008 3:06:01 PM | Raven-
You know, theres an identical thread in the women's forum where the gals complain of the same thing! Basically, the guys avoid them when they find out they are a single mom! Maybe we arent so different.....the single folks without kids arent interested since they dont wanna deal with someone who is "bogged down" with kids, but, oddly enough, most of us "bogged down" folks wouldnt give it up for the world! Their loss! I still think the single Dads should meet up with the single Moms!
Kev | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/28/2008 3:12:12 PM | | hey im a single mom of 2 kids.i think its great that there are dads who are single parents too.not all men can step up and be the father figure to their children.as a single mom it definitely has its challenges trying to find that special someone again when ur time is limited.to add more to my story i have a son who has a disorder ..autism and i wouldnt trade him for the world.some guys dont want to take that kind of responsibilty on and thats understandable but to look at him u would think hes just one of the gang.i have a sweet daughter as well.they really never had that father figure which they are in need of but im hoping one day that with some luck i will find that someone.being patient is the key.its good to hear that there are some men out there who are willing to do wat us mothers can do as well.i give u props!! | |
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Posted: 4/28/2008 7:13:59 PM | I am a full-time single father going on 11 years now.10&5.have been raising my 10 year old since she was 8 months old and my 5 year old since she was 6 months old.Niehter of their mother's have NOTHING to do with them.I also have a 3rd daughter who lives with her mother,I pay child support as I am supposed to,but why is it sooooooo hard for me to collect any for the 2 that I raise.the system is really screwed up. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:53:02 PM | hey there ;)
being a single parent of now 2 children, i understand how hard it is to find somebody who can accept the whole package, without letting things get ahold of them :) single dads know wat its like for their life to be rocked by having kids, be it planned or sudden. i dont get out that much, but every now and then.
Nothin wrong with single dads ... but i couldnt really seem to find ne haha | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/29/2008 5:54:23 AM | Wow - still new to the forums - and very glad to have found this thread, although I think it'll take me a few weeks to read all the responses!
I am a single dad to two awesome, incredible people.
They are my priority, and I knew that going into this deal.
That's why I have a pretty long term perspective on the dating situation. No rush. If I find my soul mate out there, then that is great! (Yes, I tend to believe there are people we are meant to be with - maybe one, maybe more than one.) If not, life is certainly happy, fulfilling, and busy enough as it is.
I love seeing all the other single parents here. We are so not alone, even though we feel like sometimes.
I know for my part, I live in this small town where it seems everyone is married and part of a perfect nuclear family with 2.5 kids and a dog. It's a great place, but can leave a single parent feeling a bit like an outsider.
Great thread! Thanks to everyone here too for sharing :) | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/29/2008 6:36:27 AM | | I am one as well, Nowadays there seems to be more of us out there. I have had my son since he was 11 months old. It is not easy, but I wouldn't trade being with my son for anything. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/29/2008 10:14:49 AM | I skimmed through this forum but I understand completely. I generally dont like to date guys that dont have kids because they dont understand. If I say that I couldnt get a sitter they think that I should just "dump" the kids off at my moms or a neighbors. Single ppl without kids dont realize that the world we live in is a crazy dangerous one, especially for kids.
I have had my share of abuse and being raped and molested as a kid, I dont want that to EVER happen to my kids. It happens so much in my family that I cant trust anyone with my kids except my sisters, my parents and their fathers of course.
For awhile I was even paranoid about leaving them with their fathers for long periods of time. My kids are 2,5,7and 9 and I teach them that no one should be touching their private parts etc. My oldest has already came home from school twice telling me that a lil boy touched her butt. I was very proud of her for telling the teacher and then telling me. When I was a kid I was too ashamed and embarassed to tell my mom, let alone a teacher.
Anyway what Im tryin to get at is that, I have alot of respect for single dads. I prefer single dads over single men because they usually put their childs needs first, as do I. If they cant get a sitter then I understand completely because I know it happens to me too.
Sometimes my kids are all I have...and God of course
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:09:40 AM | I LOVE single dads! I know that if I go out with one, (hopefully a good one), they will understand the meaning of patience, sharing, commitmant, and humor! Any woman who isn't interested in a single dad is NOT the type of woman you want in your life anyway. Don't beat yourself up, use it to your advantage. There are way too many single moms out there who feel like they are all alone, and you just need to find your match!
Jackie | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:56:49 AM | | Update people, just been informed, I have another of the grandkids arriving in 4 weeks. This one will be about 6 months I am told. It is hard work, but very rewarding and the love is irreplaceable. | |
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clio34
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Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 793 | |
| full-time single dads
Posted: 4/30/2008 12:27:24 PM | Hello smooth Burner,
I am a single mum and speaking from my point of view I think it is amaing that you have the balls to be a single dad. I mean that sincerely! It is such a difficult job emotionally, physically, and socially. You literally have to put ur life on hold until the kid/s grow up. U have to be a mum and a dad to them and u have to guide them through this turbulent life as best u can. U constantly have to be abreast of the situation and one step ahead of the kids. When do u get quality time to urself. I know one other single full time dad and he does a wonderful job and more power to him and u!!!!       | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:57:54 AM | | im a single parent dad too my friend. well im a single parent mum and dad in a sense as there mum never comes to see them. im surpised at the change over the last few years in how many single dads there are now. i aslo have found that women have always been great with me and think im fantastic for taking on the responcibillity. i myself feel that i would not give my life up for anything now. im much happier although it is a bit harder working and looking after the house but i love it. hope this helps. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/1/2008 11:58:05 AM | I am a single Mother of a 5yr old girl and I prefer to date other single parents. I will date men with no children too but Who else can understand the daily struggles, the financial issues, the concept of "my kid comes first" ? Who else can relate when you feel like a bad parent or when you're at your wit's end?
I am all for single fathers and I would love to meet more of them and make new friends. Know any that might be interested? =)
~R | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:46:50 PM | Keep up the brill work all you single dad's.
my son was 6 & daughter was 4 when mum left them. now they are 24 n 21, son has his own daughter alass he single dad to & just moved to his own place, I can see now what I must have gone through when he was 6. My daughter now 21 & with the Army based in Germany ( soon to go Iraq). Now they have flown the nest after a long slog for dad I wish them well, but they know good olde dad will always be here for them. They never had much to do with mum (more her doing), Both my kids put dad first mum second, over the years they made up their own minds to that.
So remember dad's do the best you can, the children WILL always remember which side their bread is buttered. The love between them & myself is really ammazing.
I TAKE MY HAT OFF TO YOU ALL. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:58:41 PM | | while i am a full time single mom and have been for just over 5 years now. I have a wonderful 5 year old son. whos my world.. I think single fathers are HOT... They show women like me that there are truly men out there that aren't scared to take care of their responsibilites. I give all single fathers 2 thums up. I only date single fathers.. and i am only 27,, and from ontario canada. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:56:05 PM | | hi iv just joind the sight, i thought i was the only single dad about. Its good to know theirs a lot of others.My two son live with me one is at school the other works with me its hard work but rewarding. I feal the the world is on my shoulders as my x wife is out enjoying her self. im just finding it hard to talk to other women as iv been out of the dating seen for seventen years | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:46:02 PM | thats a good one... im going to use that!... I have 3 kids 16,13,9... two girls and a boy.
Been raising them on my own for the last 5 years.. as single parents its our job to send them off into the world as decent little human beings.. to be independant and compassionate individuals... that they there! My lot are so different from eachother.. they are a joy and a challenge..
As for single dads.. you should be proud of yourselves for taking on your kids... cant understand a woman who would leave a child of her own... very sad.. but if they have a loving caring parent in their father... they too are very fortunate..
There was a line in a movie... " you dont have to have a licence to have children.. yet you have to have one to get a dog..." its a life long journey to have children.. some people just dont get it... good luck to everyone out there!!
this is the first time Ive looked at this forum.. interesting reading and a insight into people that are not in their profile... wonderful... | |
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