| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:57:44 PM | | by the way was replying to kseej1963... classic line to her boy... to answer the question when having timeout...."have I ever been punished for doing something right or good'.... love it.. make them think... | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:09:36 PM | Seems I'm the veteran of the crew. I've been a full-time single dad for 15 years. Took full custody at 1 and 3 years old (girl/boy) have never received a dime in child support and rarely a weekend to myself like most get through weekend visits. I used to be the type that called up all the womens and single moms programs asking why there was nothing for men but gave up after several years. It just irked me that there seems so much support for single moms through various means including womens organizations but zilch for men. I sure could have used a babysitter for a few hours here and there and at time s the free stuff offered as well.
Despite all this I don't regret a thing, and have great kids, although I struggle as much as ever now and have had to quit and retry my hand in another type of business because having been an actor and a restaurant manager doing late and sporadic hours, it couldn't work. In fact i was fired for bringing them in with me twice as i had no sitter..and of course since they let me go I didn't qualify for unemployment. I may not have given them much in terms of material stuff but I did give lots of love, support and encouragement, as well as a stable home environment which is better than all the court imposed child supports in the world.
Well enough whining...suffice to say it has given me a greater respect for all single PARENTS and the best way to eliminate most of the hardships is to HOOK UP! Surprise ! Ha! So where are all the calls ladies that claim to respect us so much!? I don't think I'm hard to look at. "Ain't I tough enough! ooh! Ain't I rough enough?! Oohh! Ain't I rich enough? In love Enough?" (Rolling Stones)
tp1 | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:16:28 PM | full time single dad? are we talking about a full time "custodial" father? i was,and i still am to a point .i sued for custody back in '90 or '91 maybe - when my son was 11.i had to summon social workers,and hire an attorney while "the ex" got it all free. but thats water under the bridge, i made it and i dont regret it at all.hang in there guys! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/6/2008 12:36:04 PM | | i've been a full time single father since my daughter was 5months old after losing her mum at 26yrs old, i work full time and put my little girl in nusrery where she has come on leaps and bounds and now at 2yrs old apart from the obvious i wouldn't change my life in the slightest (fathers4justice) | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/7/2008 2:36:01 PM | such a shame "manaboutdahouse" only accepts nearby users! was going to tell him wot a nice guy he appears to be   | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/7/2008 3:51:30 PM | been bringing up my two teenage daughters for three years now, i'm very proud of them and privatley suprised at myself for what i've managed to do,i feel that slowly the wheels are turning in favour of fathers,particularly in the field of legal justice, i didn't have to try too hard to get common sense to prevail, but then it was a pretty straightforward case, and i had exellent legal council(which was free),i was represented by women barristers/solicitors and the most uplifting and liberating thing of all was actually being belived and taken seriously instead of the predudice which i had convinced myself was inevitable.I think however there are still a lot of predudices women are unable to let go of despite all the superficial praise(not allways, actually) suprise,it still feels to me anyway that somewhere deep down it's still that men can't really cope with the down and dirty stuff necessary,well girls your'e wrong!although sometimes when i try to bring stuff up it's like i've got a telly on my head! i'd say to any man, don't doubt yourself for a second, do'nt ever hesitate,and don't be afraid, we can do it just as well as any mom.go for it !javascript:smilie(' ')
javascript:smilie('') | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/7/2008 6:05:43 PM | Full time single dad here. Got a 2 year old.. Sometimes it seems like we are a minority because there is very little mention of us out there. I would say 7 out of 10 dads wind up with 50/50 custody and not having the children full time. The other 3 out of 10 of us are in circumstances where we know our children are in a better place with us depending on the situation and what not.
I know I try very hard to keep my daughter in the best of situations and although her mother isnt around I keep her interacting with her so that she doesnt ever forget who she is.
As for the dating thing to be honest people tell me all the time.... You must pick up women everyday being a single father.. I have found this not to be true at all.. it seems most women arent interested in the "baggage" that we come with.. Be it dealing with a jealous ex or having to deal with the child of another woman.. It seems to be lacking for the most part.. I am 25 years old and I find dating women 30+ is the only way to achieve the true maturity that is needed in a pre-made family. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:29:10 PM | I like the full-time single dad title sometimes used. FULL-TIME to me is 24/7/365.
I am a FULL-TIME dad. Mom walked away from me and her kids. I have noticed that people look down towards a full-time father. I feel different. When a mother takes her children full-time everyone looks at her as the responsible parent doing the right thing and the father as a dead beat. When the tables are turned, mom is not a dead beat, and dad is some what of an outcast. I have two boys 17 & 10. We are working hard to make in work everyday. In a six month time span, I will have gotten divorced, retired from the military, moved to a different state, got a new job, new schools, new EVERYTHING. I'm looked a as this is something that I should be able to handle, thats what men do. They take care of everything. If mom was the one doing this. She would get help from every state agenancy and people would be beating down her door to help. In a life where everything has changed and is changing by the minute, it would be nice to be treated as someone who is doing what's best for the kids. Not just, well thats what a dad should do. I don't have time to date. On the rare chance when I do get the chance to get out there. Most women don't want to have anything to do with a FULL-TIME dad. Sad really.
So Rock on you full-time single dads. Just remember you're not alone! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:24:41 AM | Wow,
got into this thread sometime back now and it is amazing , all you single dads out there..WELL DONE to you..I forget now who said it, so far back, but we are not so different to all those single full time mums are we ?
Well my point has recently been proven..My son (ADHD), needs more of my attention now and he is going to get it of course, but a friend recently told me that she felt I spent too much time with him and needed to get my own life....How can I..He is 7 year old and along with my other two they need me to be there for them all the time.
I took on the responsibility of my children and knew that it meant putting my life on hold, I accept that..
My daughter, who is not mine biologically but whom I took on when her mum wasnt interested, is now getting to the age where she is asking all sorts of questions about her mum...Its hard to tell her the full truth as I dont want to be seen as poisoning her. but her mum recently called from the states and said she wanted her to go live with her..How could she do this ?? Now my daughter thinks things will happen over night...It's not that easy... | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:38:10 AM | stuay 1962
what a difficult position for you to be in. you have brought up an ex's child and now she wants her back? i feel for you being in the middle of that. personally id fight her all the way but that's my opinion. as for your boy having adhd well as both mine have it i know how you feel. i hardly ever get out and my kids are usually with me all the time. men don't understand i cant just leave them with whoever nor would i want to. I'm rather neurotic about them especially my 6 yr old as hes no sense of danger! i hope you manage to sort out this situation and feel free to mail me if u wish. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/13/2008 11:05:25 AM | | I have been a Single Dad for about 10 years now. My lad is 11 and sees his Mum once every couple of months. Its hard to get out and meet anyone but I wouldn't have it any other way. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:41:22 PM | | Single Dad here. My son is 18 and lives with me full time. We are just enjoying life together. Playing golf, fishing, going to Astros games. We do have manners . We always put the toilet seat down when any female guest is over. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:50:24 PM | I have been a single dad for a year and a bit now, 2 boys and a girl aged 13, 12 and 10 (next week but as good as). Their mum went to live with a bloke she met before we split emptied the house and left us with nothing... its taken a year to sell the house, move and get life in order for the kids but things are definitely moving forward.
for me its no different really as I used to do a lot of the domestic things before and as an ex chef always done the cooking. It hasn't been easy and I know their will still be hard times ahead but the kids are happy and settled so jobs a good un.
I also work full time so dont really get much rest but wouldnt have it any other way.
reading some of the other posts is very encouraging for someone in my position as you do sometimes feel like its just you versus the world at times.
neither of my boys put the seat down and can't aim straight, annoys the hell out of my daughter lol | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:51:32 PM | | As a lot of us single mums out there will tell you guys, its hard but very hard work. But so rewarding. My hat goes off to you all. The facilities for you to get by is even less than ours. I have to pay thanks to my parents, whom without I don't know where i'd be today. And the best baby sitters around. xxxx | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:30:38 PM | | Yet another Single Dad of an awesome 3yo son. We're going on a road trip this weekend for some camping and 4-wheeling. I couldn't live without him and wouldn't have it any other way. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:13:51 AM | | Hey. I'm a single full time dad as well. Very challenging. I have a bit of help, but for the most part, I do the best I can. Not the easiest as he has significant ADHD. I'm also deemed a "little person" (dwarfism), and so I'm physically and mentally drained by the end of the day. Keep up the good work. Just do one day at a time. Seems to help with me. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:24:27 AM | Thanks bexonlegs..
Nice that someone understands about the ADHD problem but you comment:-
'men don't understand i cant just leave them with whoever nor would i want to.'
well its not just men trust me, I have found it extremely difficult to meet people because they judge even before getting to know the situation..
One thing for sure, my respect for single mums has grown significantly in the past two years.... | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:57:10 PM | | Single dads are awsome!!! I'm a single mom (separated) and my (soon to be) ex has absolutely nothing to do with his son. Not only is he skipping out on child support but he doesn't even pick up the phone to see how his kid is doing. He's the most selfish person I've ever met in my life. I give major props to single dads who are all about being there for their children. It shows responsibilty and a big heart. A true man. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:33:36 AM | I recently had to change my business hours to better accommodate my son's school hour's... means a shorter work day during the day, but then again, we get to spend a lot more time together now too. Since I have no support in town, and don't have a sitter I can trust, well, closer than an hour away, we just tend to do guy-things together... He spends time at my nutrition club (and is quite the little entrepreneur already), we go to the gym together for yoga/nursery time (the big kids have an entire inside jungle gym!), shop together, etc.
Finding that I couldn't trust the sitter he had been staying with (to look out for HIS best interests) was a hard thing to handle, but it's really been a blessing in disguise. I'm fresher at work with working less hours during the week, and we get more together time. At 9, he's showing more interest in group activities, so we joined 4H and are going to be in the county fair for the first time this year!
I couldn't have done this were I still working for someone else... not like it's started to happen being self-employed. I work more hours now than I did at my old job, yet strangely have more freedom to choose when... and he can come with me now too! My hours and lack of a sitter have seemed to be a problem in the past, for some women... but, then again I'm not in a rush anyways. Life happens at it's proper pace, whether we want it that way, or not... ;-)  | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:25:19 PM | I know a few "full time" single dads and I RESPECT each and every man who takes the initiative to step up to the plate for their kids! Not all women make great parents!
I have a very good friend (who I've known forever it seems), who is a single, full time dad. He's smart, very sucessful, good looking (really nice butt) & my kids love his kids (vice versa) since they all grew up together. HE gives ME some excellent advice on parenting! He has helped me in so many ways, as far as me being a single parent as well. Men can have such great insight on a lot of things! I honesty think that I would kill for him! ....well, maybe not actually kill anyone :) | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:48:21 PM | love single dads there is no other for me they are the best  | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:02:49 PM | | ..........THERE ALOT MORE OF US OUT HERE THAN YOU MAY THINK.................. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:23:30 PM | Yes there are a lot of us.
I have actually done this twice.
First when wife died in car accident leaving me with three young girls. I am afraid I didn't do as well as I wanted but they were loved and provided for.
Second family, mom just wouldn't stay home. Until last year I had three boys and a girl to take care of. I am not bragging. I have help, grand mother, aunt and cousins. I know some have to do it alone.
My 18 year old son and 7 year old son went to live with mom. She has two other childern now. I now only have my 14 year old daughter and 11 year old son. Sure seems quiet since they left.
To get to why I wrote... I have never understood why people do things to spite their ex. I am sad to say this includes my older daughters. The kids mom and I have no animosity toward each other and both try to make sure the kids have what they need. I do not pretend to understand how she could want to be away from her childern. However, I do not judge her. Jealousy and anger do not solve problems. It does hurt childern.
The ones who get hurt are the kids!
QUIT IT!
I wil get off the soapbox and quit preaching. I would imagine most of the people that read this know this anyway.
One comment: No more new well meaning laws. Get government out of the family!
Gary | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:04:43 PM | | It shows great character in a man to have an active, full time role in raising their children. Single fathers know the true meaning of "abundant rewards". | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:58:00 PM | I am a full time single Dad, its the most amazing experience in life. I have a 6yr old son thats my very best friend in the world, he's the funniest person i've ever met. would'nt change a thing in life, its all just perfect.
If a lady has a problem with you being a single dad, well then its her problem and not yours. ( same for men ) | |
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