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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/17/2005 11:09:37 PM | Thanks dragons - its always nice to hear those words of encouragement! I'm a single dad to a 13 and a 10 year old, and I'm the luckiest man on earth!  | |
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yogi13
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Joined: 5/24/2005
Msg: 178 | |
| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/17/2005 11:23:38 PM | | i have 2 kids but i have my daughter full time and shes 9 | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/18/2005 1:36:09 AM | I have been a full time single dad for the last six months.My two sons 13 &15,came to live with me,out of the blue,after a falling out with there mum.
I spent two weeks sleeping on the living room floor whilst the kids used my bed!must admit I was terrified when the came,I had only had them overnight a couple of time since the divorce about 10 years ago.
please Dont think I hadnt spent any time with them,I went up to her house every morning to get them to school.Moreoften than not,i would be there when they got home from school.There mum used them as a battering ram to beat me up with. unless i did as she said ,I was banned from seeing the kids.
when they first arrived,,after a couple of days,she came round to try and get them back.Being her usual self,she demanded they get in the car.the kids,bless them,refused,saying they wanted to live with me.Well the air went blue and things went downhill very fast!!!(rules of pof wont let me go into detail). In the end the police were called and I was cautioned,but the police took the view that the kids should live where they want to,with me.It was the best day of my life,my kids were safe and looked after properly.
OK so now they live with me,they share a room with bunkbeds,they never shared befor.They get on with each other like never befor,and my life has been transformed!!
Yes its hard work. Yes you have to shop and cook properly. Yes you have to take the rough with the smooth. YES ITS THE MOST REWARDINGTIME OF MY LIFE.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Simon | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/18/2005 6:45:29 AM | | Way to go, simon! And it only gets better and better!! :-) | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/18/2005 7:11:21 PM | Hi its just the way it goes sometimes. I have 2 boys 6 and 13,
from Calgary. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/18/2005 8:31:35 PM | | I'm a single dad of two great kids.....boy and girl....when i got sep/divorced my ex. moved a province away from me and i got to see my kids once a month for a week at a time....best thing i ever did was to say "F--k it" and pack up and move to be close to them. Now I see them every day for a few hours and every 2nd weekend...what a difference it makes for them to have that kind of contact.....I applaud all single parents.......moms or dads.....it the hardest but best job in the world.....now the trick is to find the missing piece of the puzzle....that special wman...........you out there?....lol. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/18/2005 8:57:32 PM | | Way to go, afterdark! Kudos to you for putting the kids first!! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/18/2005 8:57:42 PM | I applaud you afterdark! I really wish that my ex would pack up and move out here to spend time with his son...instead he just harrasses me on the phone...getting mad at me b/c i put my child's needs before his!!! He has only been a dad when it's convienent for him! I've been gone for over 4 months and haven't seen a dime from him..he hasn't visited and barely talks to his son. Not that I want to see him, but I do want my son to have a father around! I wish there were more dads like you, and the other guys on here!!! Thanks for giving me hope to find one! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/18/2005 11:19:44 PM | I am a full time single dad,living somewhere in OHIO.i have recently got temp.custody of my 9 year old boy.im 36 year old contractor.i love having my son ,but its very hard too find time to take care of buisness and take care and play with my son.
My marriage failed on april 1 of 2004 and i got custody on dec. 6th 2004 (temperarly).still going to court,but am very confident that ill win . thats whole other story!!!
Being a single dad is good but it gets lonely,thats why we are in places like this.
I have just meet someone in a chat room on my sprint phone and it is going very well. we just had our second meeting and im talking to her on the phone while im writing this,so i guess im doing good.  | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/18/2005 11:40:12 PM | Cell phones have chat rooms now?
If I didn't have the luxary of working from home, I'd be screwed.
Err, I mean unempoyed. Definately not getting screwed, LOL | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 5:44:22 AM | I prefer to date a single dad. I'm a single mom and single dads seem to be more accepting of my situation. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 6:14:00 AM | it's good to hear about single dads but what about single grand dads as far as i can tell talking with friends i may be about the only one and if the single dads think it is hard to find someone to date think how hard it is for a single grand dad are there any other single grand dads out there or am i about the only one
just a couple of ramblings
though single dads may be a recent topic of conversation there have always been single dads due how long people lived and the number of deaths during child birth. so we are not new to the world but it seems like what i hear we want to think we're new to the parenting life. one of the issues i see happening is how the men pat themselves on the back for doing what is natural if what we are doing is so right then why do we have to say how great we are it is like single dads are seen as great but single moms are just seen when i was a single dad i would also go around and tell people how great i was for having the children now i see it as a problem because that attitude tells the children that men do something exceptional when assuming the parenting and when women accept the parenting role they are just doing what a mom should do doesn;t this send a wrong message to our children
also i read what these men are saying, not only in this forum but in others as well, and it seems like many want to belittle their exs i don't think it's about who is the better parent i don't like the idea of ranking who is better i like to think of it as who provides a healthier environment one can be better without being healither but one can't be healither without being better if you know what i mean
this is the first time i have done this i hope some of you understand what i have said | |
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kit437
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Joined: 1/12/2005
Msg: 189 | |
| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 6:43:57 AM | I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN I AM A SINGLE MOM MY SELF AND IT IS HARD WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SINGLE MOMS? | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 7:23:07 AM | i think they are the most amazing people given all they face in their lives and society it is easier for a man to afford to raise children given the fact that in almost every occupation men make 25 percent more than women for the same job and for women of color this is even more of an issue given that they recieved about 10-15 percent less than white women make in the same job meaning that they make about 35-40 percent less than a man in the same job
also as some of the responses make clear that when a woman doesn't assume the role of mother she is seen as someone who betrayed their gender and this is a stigma men do not face. It puts more preassure on the woman than it does the man and while men can do a feel good approach, women, it seems, not only have to be the parent but the right kind of parent or else they are seen as a bad mother while men are seen as someone doing their best
what do you think | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 7:41:23 AM | | Hey everyone. Well I`m not a full time single dad... yet...my son was born on June 28 2005, But his mother already has one child (little girl,almost 3) and before he was born I saw the way she treated her daughter (the father would rather have nothing to do with her as he has a wife and another child). Let`s just say I was raised in a very abusive home by a single parent and I don`t want to see my son end up like I did. I spent the first 17 years of my life in my room cause I was scared and afraid to be around my mother( she kicked me out when I was just barely past 17). Since I came along she`s lightened up alot...mostly my doing I think because of how I was raised. Instead of spanking or hitting her like she used to .....I`ve got it to the point to where we just put her in her room for a time out or send her to bed right after dinner. My point is any advice anybody could give me would be really helpfull. If things start to go bad I plan on filing for full custody of my son...at which point I would be back in the military as I`ve already served 4 years in the Air Force and it would be the best thing for both of us. OH..and I forgot to mention that I just turned 24 in June and the mother is 22, so I`m new to all this. Like I already said...I`m really trying to give the best for my son since my father never bothered to do the same for me so any advice would be great. Thanks. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 8:05:34 AM | It's great that you are asking about this and seeking a better way, particularly now instead of later. You don't have to fit the "statistical mold", you can be a far far better parent than those that raised you.
There has really been a lot of work done in regards to parenting techniques over the last 20 years, particularly in regards to Positive Parenting techniques and better information on realistic expectations and where children are at developmentally.
Alas, everybody is out to make a buck and it is a little harder finding good resources on the web, but due to the nature of the subject, it is out there. If you do a search for "Positive Parenting techniques" you can eventually find some good (and not so good) material that can really broaden you're prospective and give you ideas. It takes more effort, time and understanding than the old yell-spank-go to you're room method, but I think the results will prove to be all around better.
Here is one link to get you started: http://www.cwla.org/positiveparenting/default.htm | |
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YX32
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Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 193 | |
| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 8:17:57 AM | | I applaud each and every one of you that posted, for that matter, all single dads! Way to go! Even before I had my own, I used to get a warm feeling when I'd see a man and child...There's something so surreal about watching them interact...Now that I'm divorcing and have my child 99.9% of the time, knowing how much he craves that interaction with his dad, that image of a man and child holds a more significant meaning...May all of you reap your rewards through the smiles of your children...Peace and Blessings to all of you! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 8:37:20 AM | I am also the parent of a 6-year-old boy, but I think I have it pretty lucky because he is virtually no effort to raise (minds me well, ex-wife has some problems but I don't think he respects her) and my ex-wife is only a minor nuisance to me since I had the custody arrangement modified and she was actually satisfied with it as much as I was.
The trouble I have is because I have my son all but three weekends of the month, dating is damned near impossible. I can get a sitter easy enough, but just trying to get out and meet women to arrange dates is hard when you can only go places you can take your child.
Anybody got some pointers for places to go? I tried the park but I live in Florida and it's just way too hot to hang out there for long. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 9:39:28 AM | Thanks dragons - its always nice to hear those words of encouragement!
Well, someone's got to encourage others like us out there There just isn't enough support for single parents in this world. I know that sounds bitter...don't get me wrong, I love being with my kids, they are my whole life, but sometimes it's really hard to get a date that understands what's going on. As I said before, I usually end up dating single dads because I don't have to explain to them why I can't go out and be out until 4 am  They understand all about schedules and baby sitters and a shortage of funds.
Anybody got some pointers for places to go? I tried the park but I live in Florida and it's just way too hot to hang out there for long.
How about a poetry reading at a local coffee shop? Does you local library show films in the afternoons? Give me some time, I'll think of some other stuff to suggest for you. | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 11:01:14 AM | I became a full time dad to three children in 1990. Their mother left all of a sudden without warning. She took me through the ringer. I was accused of child abuse nine times. All were investigated and unfounded. I lodged an abuse claim on her when my youngest came how with her back and arms goudged by her mothers fingernails. Investigation showed that she had abused my daughter. I got all three of my children and raised them on my own. I had no help from anyone. I now have a beautiful 24 yo daughter, a handsome 20 yo son, and a beautiful 18 yo daughter. They all say they will never be married. My daughters each have children. I have three great grandsons and a granddaughter. I have told them that I am going to be around to watch them deal with their children as I had to deal with them LOL. My son has never left home as he is a special needs child. My oldest lives near. My youngest just move back home with children and an idiot boyfriend who doesn't want to work. I enjoy my grands as I do my own children. It is funny to hear them say that they cannot endure the rigors of raising children. I tell them suck it up I did it and alone so stop whining. Of course I step in and help them out. It is a great comedy to watch though. My hat is off to all single parents. They stepped up to the challenge to raise their children rather than the alternatives. May you all reap great joys from your children and their children when the time comes. PS My profile pic was taken at the summer special olympic I volunteer. These people are great atheletes. BB  | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 11:16:47 AM | It really is nice to see so many men step up to the plate and do their "duty". It's not a duty to raise children, it's a privelege. Like I said, so very nice to see so many people, not just men, step up to the plate and realize what a privelege it really is.
special olympic I volunteer. These people are great atheletes
I have a child with special needs. He is only 7 years old, but it's been a challenge, and programs like the Special Olympics have been especially helpful in keeping him happy, active and healthy. We aren't currently involved in the Special Olympics, as he is quite young, but we are involved in several other community based organizations that are geared towards his needs and have helped my other children to understand his needs.
Kudos to you Biggybear for being such a special person. It takes special people like you to make events like the Special Olympics a reality. Thank you! | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 12:44:53 PM | | First of all..I applaud all men who step up to the plate and take care of the children. Some of you may have had no choice in the matter and others of you may have had it no other way. In either case, I hold alot of respect for you. I'm a single mom of 3 girls and it's so hard at times. So whenever I come across a man who is a single father I find that as a turn on and an instant conversation starter. Its definitely a huge asset to me when dating. So to all you single fathers out there..keep it up!!! You will be rewarded in so many ways. Good luck | |
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| full-time single dads
Posted: 7/19/2005 1:09:37 PM | its to bad that there are not more men in this world like the ones on this thread !! ...
SOME men find it way too easy to just walk away from their children leaving them with the mothers and not look back !!, even if the mother is unfit and the children would be better off with the other parent .... Its actually quite sad to look at the stats and see how many kids these days are being raise by single mothers with no help from the fathers ... so it is great to see that some parents have done good jobs at raising their boys to become men and take care of their responisibilities ! .. I find it a big turn on when i meet a man that has involvment in his lives never mind full custody of them !! Its men like you that give us women the hope that good men do exist !!
I hope that one day my boys will grow up to be men like all of you !!
Good jobs !!! | |
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