| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/23/2006 1:27:20 PM | | Excellent response, thank you: Perhaps conquest individuals are cowards that need to prove to themselves how great they are by adding to their list of how many consequences they don't get by running!!! Yes, I think some are down right cruel. Some of us are loving fools, that don't see it right away either. Thanks. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/23/2006 3:47:38 PM | most of them are cowards
the few that actually say - hey i'm not interested - earn respect and aren't usually
labeled by four letter words. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/23/2006 4:25:35 PM | It is just like job interviews. If a person doesn't call back within a certain period of time, they are off the consideration list until they do call. So women, don't expect a man to write back twice. Respond to his first e-mail, phone call, etc, as long as you are trying to build a relationship with someone. They might think if you didn't respond, you aren't interested. If you want a person to call back and you aren't ready when they do, just respond and say, call me in a week. But don't just sit there and not respond. We aren't mind readers.  | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/23/2006 7:34:37 PM | I too have had this happen several times. Made me a bitter wounded woman. I stay very detached now due to this happening so many times.
Wondering if they didn't really know what they were saying when they said it and realized later they kind of felt foolish, not like a big burly man but a little boy admitting to feelings and emotions.......holy crap!
Cowards.
Don't worry, they always come back months later with a text or email or call......the usual
"i am so sorry about what I did"
My reply......"yeah.......and? ok, bye!" | |
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Sigi
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Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 30 | |
| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/23/2006 8:06:33 PM | | Wow...it's sad to read your bad experiences...but please, don't let it bitter you too much.. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/23/2006 8:22:01 PM | Hmmmm. It's not just men that do this. I know somebody once that called them "Houdini dates" 
I've had a few like this. I personally prefer the open communication method. In my opinion, people who aren't mature enough to just speak their minds and be honest and forthright, aren't good relationship material anyways. If they can't even tell you how they feel, then what else are they lying about?
Now will some people get bent out of shape, and argue, and in general be hurt, well yes. But the way I look at it is this dating game already comes with a lot of uncomfortable situations. You have to be prepared to handle rejection, and my opinion you need to be able to handle dishing out the rejection. (Obviously while not being an ass about it) In some cases the fury you get may be well deserved. Especially if you led that person on.
My gut feelings say that if you have desire that runs hot and cold like that, it's pretty much a sign of immaturity on your part. I've noticed typically with people you kind of splinter apart slowly. If somebody splits suddenly it's either immaturity or they where stringing you along till a better deal came along. (What I call "The Shopper")
All in all you should never use people, treat people the way you want to be treated, and be honest. It's just good Karma | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/23/2006 9:51:50 PM | | Lack of honesty and integrity on their part. Never use or believe the "L" word until you actually do know them or they you. and you cant know someone after a few dates and coupling like bunnies, i'd be hard pressed after living in each others pocket for a month, you just cant "know" that so quickly. just substitute "like" for "love"...and you may fair better...good luck. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/24/2006 5:03:42 AM | Something that I don't think has been said yet is that some guys are eager for the hunt but terrified by the catch. My PoF fishing metaphor for this is to be "strictly catch and release," and, of course, I've never been in this situation myself. 
Without more information, it's impossible to say what happened for sure in these situations, but it does sound like maybe the two of you moved too quickly and he panicked. While it is possible for the motives to be more sinister (i.e.: he just told you what you wanted to hear), I do think that for most guys it's the former: good intentions starting out, but panic sets in when the hunt is over and the relationship has begun. This is just me being quite upfront about how I tend to feel, even when I've done all of my homework about a person, but I'm willing to assume other guys are similar. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/24/2006 5:08:02 AM | | In my case...I'm a nutbar. They leave when they truly get to know just how much of a freaky computer geek old furniture buying non-cooking gal I am. I don't blame them though. Takes a unique character to be with someone like me... | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/24/2006 5:22:22 AM | it's all about the poonani baby  once it's had we are gone | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/24/2006 7:00:40 AM | | I came a a realization recently that a lot of men my age married fairly young, stayed married for a long time, are now divorced so they are back on the market but they still have the same personality and maturity level they did BEFORE they got married. When it comes to relationships and dating they never "grew up" because of this. However, I still haven't figured out how to tell which ones have grown and which haven't so it's still a crap shoot. Maybe I'll have an epiphany one of these days and be able to tell the grown ups from the little boys. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/24/2006 7:31:33 AM | | That just recently happen to me, where I meet a guy on here and for a whole month things were great. We call each other every night and we hung out most weekends or tried to. Then I called him and left a message and I even text him a message on here. Now I know he got the message but he chose not to reply. So my guess is that he is not a really man like he claim to be but a small child that does not respect women or afraid of hurting someone. I dont think men really understand that women need a closure. Some days I want to warn women about him not to let your heart get into it cause he will break it. But then again he is a nice man. So the only thing I learn from this is dont rush into anything. | |
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ajaxes
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Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 38 | |
| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/24/2006 8:28:06 AM | | well first it's not just men so to those people stop the game | |
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twbtin
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Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/24/2006 11:48:48 AM | | Very well said, unfortunately both genders in our culture do things the easy way out. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/24/2006 12:04:37 PM | Hey, all:
What's this? Another memo from the Department of Overgeneralization--man, budget cuts NEVER affect the people we want them to!
It seems most of the time ultimately someone has to rein in the wild horses of blame, but 'til then it is open season on whomever is being accused of being stupid, insensitive, crude, arrogant, or whatever the defect of the day is. We could save so much time by trying to communicate instead of just swinging wildly at whomever might be in the way.
David
Messages done with sustainable energy, with Wind and Sun! | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/24/2006 12:20:49 PM | I prefer to drive when making a get away. Much faster, less chance you'll be tracked down and beaten into submission.
Why does anybody run away? FEAR.
It's not a guy thing, it's a people thing. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/25/2006 5:58:01 PM | | OK, thanks for you opinions guys, but if you men are so scared then why wouldn't you be scared to say I Love you then? Saying I love you are very serious and personal words. You DO NOT tell a woman you LOVE her if you think you might RUN the Next Day!!! | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/25/2006 6:57:45 PM | | They had a reality kick in the head......been there. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/25/2006 7:54:20 PM | I have experienced this one myself. Only difference is I dont run Ill tell you.
They had a reality kick in the head......been there | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/25/2006 10:50:50 PM | Naah, in many cases you are all wrong.
After youve been looking for a while, while
you will, of course, need to re-date someone
who seems pretty right; you should be able to
evaluate a definite "not right" pretty quickly.
This usually means that during your date you
had at least a few things that popped into your
mind that you did not like about the other person.
(or- you can just call them incompatibilities)
Now, if the other person calls, you try ot deflect them
as gently as possible and move on. It may seem like you
are running away but one might simply be thinking.
"Yeah, I could tell her i dont like this or that or that, but who the hell am I to make these judgements , and it most likely is not really useful to the other person,
it just the way they hit me, and its only going to hurt them and you dont want to do that."
So why do you want to engage in a long conversation about why you dont want to date
the other person. It is a really rare person who wants the information so
they can re-evaaluate their own behavior. Most people will just get hurt and defensive.
Thats why you have those 1st dates
- -- to see ---
As for one that says they "love you" after one date
and then never calls. Boy are you lucky they went away!
E | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:25:13 AM | I'm sorry but I don't think this is a gender thing.
And I think the answers to this belong to every individual that has ever run, and that the true reasons will be different in every case.
We could speculate until we are blue in the face, but every person and every person in that relationship have their own unique reasons. Some of them may not be as bad as some speculate, and some may be every bit as bad and worse. Who would know.
This is what dating is. Accept it. Sometimes there will be no answers and sometimes there will.
I pack my napsack every day in the hope that I will come across the wrong guy-hah just kidding. Of course none of us do, yet it takes a whole lot of wrongs to stand a chance of recognizing right. | |
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| why do men run away?
Posted: 10/26/2006 2:35:12 AM | | OHHHH...this just goes hand in hand with another thread on here about stalkers........they wonder why people do turn into "stalkers".......men are cowards on here and women are stalkers...so why bother anymore ...... | |
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